Open Your Eyes
by catc20NYNY
Summary: Nathan had watched from the shadows as time slowly closed her eyes to him and their love. Haley had made a new life, found a new love, while his ache for her only grew. He has but only one choice...to open her eyes...again.
1. Best I'll Ever Be

**Author's Note:** Hey guys, this is my new story that I am very excited to debut. I have had this idea in my head for awhile and I really hope you all love it. It is nothing like _Timeless_ or _Just Watch The Fireworks_, so even if you think it may be, trust me it's not.

I want to thank and dedicate this story to my love Maggie for Maggifying and being so encouraging. She also made the fabulous banner for this story that I just love.

Each chapter of this story will be a song and the quotes I use for each chapter will be a selection of its lyrics. Only the title and the exact lyrics I use will pertain to the chapter, so if you know the song and are confused just remember that only the title and a certain piece of the lyrics are creating the theme.

So with that said, I really hope you guys enjoy this like you have my other two. I can't wait to see what you all think. You all have been so amazingly supportive of my writing and are what inspires me to keep going.  
**Season/Time frame:** Mostly AU-Everything that happened up until NH getting married at the end of Season One is a part of the history. Anything after Season One is not, including the fact that NH got married. They just had sex for the first time instead of got married during the Season One finale, in regards to this story. The rest will be explained in future chapters.  
**Disclaimer**: All One Tree Hill characters belong to Mark Schwann and the WB. Haley James Scott, Nathan Scott and any other characters featured from One Tree Hill are NOT mine.

**Chapter One "Best I'll Ever Be"**

"_I miss you  
I miss talking all night long with you  
And I need this to find a way to your home  
My love can you hear me  
Have I been hoping loud enough, wishing hard enough  
Can you see me when I'm asleep all alone - alone _

So I wait and I wait  
And I run myself in the same old circles  
I sit and I stare  
And I run old scenes through my tired head  
Of the days that we laid by the school and said forever  
Was that the best I'll ever be"

_**Sister Hazel  
**_

_Haley could feel herself being lulled out of a deep sleep by strong hands gently massaging her naked breasts from behind. The pleasure was already coursing through her, but her mind still hadn't crossed over into consciousness just yet. At this point, it could be either an incredible dream or the love of her life not being able to wait until morning to be inside her. _

_It was when she felt his hard length hard against her backside that she slipped over the edge into the sweet reality that was awaiting her. She moaned his name as his other arm came around her and began to tease her already moist center._

_Nathan nuzzled his head into the nape of her neck and laid soft, wet kisses on her smooth skin, so many that she could never even try to count. He'd always said he loved every inch of her body and that his lips could never stay away. It must have been true because he never went a minute without his lips being on some part of her, whenever they were in each other's presence._

"_Turn around," his husky voice, filled with lust, instructed._

_Doing as he said, she turned to face him and his lips were hard against hers before she could even catch her breath. She loved nights like this, nights when they made love over and over, only resting for an hour, at most, in between. It wasn't only him either, she loved to climb on top of him, when he was fast asleep, slip him inside her, and watch his eyes open in awe. _

_She'd never grow tired of that look in his eyes when she took charge, which is why more than half of the time she did just that. He teased her about being his little nymph, and while she always blushed when he said it, it filled her with a sense of satisfaction at the same time._

"_God, I love you Hales." He spoke against her lips, making her shiver even more, with anticipation—if that was possible. She had been the first girl he'd ever said those words to and when she looked into his eyes, she knew she was his first, last, and only love; and he was hers._

"_I love you too Nathan Scott," she promised as she wrapped a leg over his to open herself for him._

_He pushed up into her and they both gasped. The feel of him pushing up into her was sending her into that foggy haze of oblivion. Catching his eye for just a moment, she heard him whispering softly into her ear, but in her haze the words were lost to passion. She could see his mouth moving, and instinctively she knew that whatever he was saying was going to make her want him more, but the fury inside her was too overpowering_.

_She fought through the haze to hear the words but with each thrust, her lust-filled fog grew stronger and stronger until everything around her: words, time, everything just seemed to stand still. It wasn't until that last second before they both fell into oblivion that she finally heard his words echo as if they were from some distant place. _

"_Open Your Eyes."_

Haley shot up in bed, her heart pounding in her chest, barely able to catch her breath. It took her a moment to realize that she was in her own bed, but as she placed her hand to her heaving chest, she knew that the dream was more than just her subconscious.

"Haley? Are you alright?" A man's groggy voice questioned from beside her.

She just sat there staring into the darkness trying to calm her breathing.

Sitting up, he wrapped his arms around her waist. "Was it a bad dream? Damn, you're heart is beating a mile a minute, Haley."

Blinking, she finally became aware of her surroundings and her heart ached. "Um, yeah Landon…I'm fine."

"You look as if you've seen a ghost." His worried eyes tried to focus in on hers.

"Maybe I did," she whispered more to herself than to the man next to her. "I'm going to get some water, I'll be alright promise, go back to bed." She kissed his lips briefly hoping to reassure him.

He just nodded and watched her practically flee out of the room, but figured that if it were anything serious she'd let him know.

With her heart still beating rapidly Haley made her way out of the hallway and into the living room.

"Hey roommate!" Brooke's cheery voice piped up from the large, red, suede couch that she'd fought tooth and nail to have instead of the more subdued green one Haley and Peyton had wanted.

"Brooke, we've lived together almost five years and yet you still see fit to announce that all the time."

"Someone's a bit bitchy, did Landon finish before you got yours, sweetie?"

Haley plopped down beside her with a disgusted look on her face. "Ew, Brooke. I'm so not going there with you."

Brooke shrugged and spread out her blanket to cover Haley too. "I'm just saying, usually when I'm satisfied I sleep like a baby," she grinned as visions of naked men danced in her head.

"Yeah, I know." Haley sighed.

Turning to her friend, Brooke could tell something was really wrong. "You want to talk about it Tutorgirl?"

Haley answered her by laying her head on Brooke's shoulder and to Brooke that meant that all Haley needed at the moment, was her company. She and Haley had always been that way. Sometimes when one was having a problem, they would just crawl in bed with the other and they'd lay together for hours in silence, losing themselves in bad TV and sappy movies. Neither ever pushed, because whether it took an hour of silence or a whole day, the one in trouble would eventually open up—they always did.

…

After an hour of trying to distract herself with VH1's list of the most fabulous celebrity religions, Haley couldn't take it anymore. Her mind wouldn't stop replaying the dream over and over in her head. The second she lifted her head from Brooke's shoulder, the brunette hit mute on the TV and turned so that they could talk face to face.

Haley was about to open her mouth, but quickly shut it when she realized that she needed the other member of their group. "Get Peyton."

"Oh shit." Brooke mumbled as she reached over and grabbed her cell. She knew this was big if Haley was risking waking up the dead.

A few minutes later, an anything but happy to be awake, Peyton came stumbling into the living room from another hallway. "This so better be worth it," she grumbled as she sat down Indian style in front of where her two best friends sat on the couch.

"I had a dream." Haley finally revealed.

Peyton looked at her weird. "You know Hales, monsters aren't real. But hell you can sleep with me tonight if you're that scared," she said as she made a move to get up, but Haley's hand reached out to stop her.

"About Nathan." She whispered, the mere mention of his name almost enough to bring her to tears.

Peyton looked to Brooke, but neither girl knew what to say. It had been at least three years since Haley had even spoken his name, and for Haley to be saying it now must mean this dream was a whole lot more than some random guest appearance by the dark haired Scott into her subconscious.

"Start talking or I'm going to strangle you?" Brooke threatened, but Haley knew it was with love.

Haley closed her eyes. "It just felt so incredibly real. I could feel him…I still can."

Brook and Peyton watched as Haley's eyes opened back up and tears began to fill them. Their hearts broke all over again at the pain they knew she was reliving. It brought back so many painful memories of what happened five years ago and how they had spent endless nights doing everything in their power to mend Haley's heart.

No matter what though, they would never trade it for anything, because that time in all their lives was a start of an amazing friendship between the three. One that blood could not even overpower. They were sisters and while they were all different, they blended together to create an unbreakable force. They were each other's family and it was as _simple_ and as _beautiful_ as that.

_Flashback…_

_Lucas opened the outside door to his bedroom to find his two one-time loves standing before him. "Hey guys, she's still asleep."_

"_We don't care Lucas, now go brood somewhere else. " Brooke shoved him out the door and Peyton gave him a reassuring smile before shutting him out._

"_Tutorgirl! Wakey, wakey!" Brooke demanded playfully as she jumped onto Lucas' bed._

_Haley mumbled something incoherent and buried herself further beneath Lucas' covers._

_Brooke gave Peyton a look and then they both yanked the covers completely off Haley._

"_Damn it Brooke!" Haley shouted out frustrated as she sat up and pulled her knees up to her chest—stretching an old T-shirt of Lucas', that she was wearing, over her legs._

_Walking over to her, Brooke and Peyton both sat on separate sides of Haley, hoping to create a wall of support around their friend, one that Haley could not escape._

"_Haley, P. Sawyer and I had a brilliant idea." Brooke clapped her hands._

_Rolling her eyes, Haley rested her chin on her knees. "I just want to be alone. Why can't you two see that?"_

"_Because we love you and because this idea is too perfect." Peyton wrapped her arm around Haley and winked._

_Brooke took her cue. "So, we know your plans have been forced to change, so we decided that you need a completely fresh start. Peyton and I want you to move to New York with us."_

_Haley looked up at her confused, and without even thinking answered. "I didn't apply there and I'm going to Duke." But the minute the last word escaped her lips, tears welled into her eyes and a gut wrenching sob soon followed._

_Peyton and Brooke enveloped her into their arms and the three of them stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity. They had never seen Haley ever crumble, but the loss of Nathan and the loss of what she thought was her future was too much for her to bear, and no one could ever blame her. Haley had always been so strong and so sure about her life and to see her this lost, was a pain that everyone who loved her shared._

_Finally, Haley lifted her head and sniffed a few times. "Can I really leave everything behind?_

_Smoothing her hair down Peyton looked into her eyes. "He did Haley, and I know how unsure you are right now, but you need to start living again. It's not going to be easy and there will be still be days in the future that you won't want to get out of bed, but little by little it will get easier."_

_Brooke smiled at Haley. "Yeah, and you'll have Peyton and I to distract you anytime, day or night. "_

"_Why would you guys want a mess like me?" Haley gave them a small smile._

_They both laughed. "Hales, all of us have issues and I think that's part of the reason we all get along so well." Peyton revealed._

"_Definitely." Brooke agreed. "It's like we all compliment each other. I improve both of your wardrobes, Peyton keeps us in tune with music and you, Haley, have this uncanny ability to reveal the fact that P. Sawyer and I have hearts." _

_Haley laughed a bit through her tears. "But, how can y'all know this is going to work out?"_

"_We don't, but that's part of what makes life worth living. Wouldn't you rather take risks, then live life in regret?" Peyton asked without missing a beat._

_Haley sat in silence for a moment. "I'm just scared that if I say yes, it makes everything real," she whispered._

_Brooke hugged her tighter. "I hate to say it, but I think it's already pretty real."_

"_I guess it is." Haley whispered, but this time her friends felt finality in her tone. So, when she broke down again, a second later, they let her weep because they knew she needed to grieve over the loss of what she thought her life would have been before she could ever move on to what her life could be._

_That exact same night, the three of them packed everything they owned and drove a gigantic U Haul to New York City, three week before Brooke and Peyton had originally planned to go. For four years, they shared a two-bedroom apartment that Brooke's parent's owned and they never regretted a second of it._

_So, when they all had finally secured jobs, a year ago, that paid them very well, they decided to not break tradition, and instead buy a bigger and better place together. They were family after all, and separating family just didn't make sense._

_It took them two months of searching before they settled on an amazing renovated warehouse that combined Brooke's dramatic elegance, with Haley's love of historical architecture and Peyton's insistence that they live in the youthful art haven of SoHo. The entire top floor had been turned into their home with three roomy bedrooms each suited to their separate taste. The other mutual areas of the home, however, they had either battled it out or flipped a coin, but when you walked inside, you could see how well their tastes blended… just like their friendship._

_They could have rented out the entire bottom floor, but with all three girls having an artistic flair, they opted to turn it into a massive studio for them all to have room to express their talents. Whether it was sketching fashion designs, painting the next great masterpiece or writing music, there was a place for it._

_All three of them had worked hard and made an amazing life outside of the tiny town of Tree Hill, one where ghosts of their pasts didn't have a place._

_End of Flashback…_

Peyton squeezed Haley's hand. "You know Haley, it's been fifteen years since my mom died and I still have these dreams of her. They're so vivid, that when I wake up I think I can still smell her perfume. I think when someone has such a powerful impact in your life; their presence can come back even when you thought you'd never truly see them again. I think it's our mind's way of telling us that the past made us who we are today. Whether they were positive or negative things, they are always going to reappear from time to time to make us remember how far we've come."

"But, I don't wanna remember. Make it go away." Haley's bottom lip jutted out in her signature pout as she buried her head in the blanket Brooke had thrown over her earlier.

Brooke giggled and stuck her head under the blanket Haley was using as a shield. "Aw, sweetie, trust me if I could, I'd set us all up with that machine from that Eternal Sunshine whatever movie. I mean, hell even I still have dreams of Lucas from time to time, especially right around the time I start a new relationship."

Haley's eyes lit up at that as she took the blanket off her head. "That must be it. Landon and I just really started dating, so that just has to be it." Her voice filled with excitement at the prospect of rationalizing this situation. She had only officially been with Landon for a month, even though they'd been friends for over two years, so the transition was still new.

"I think you actually stumbled upon something profound in that ramble Brooke." Peyton said with a tad bit of shock at Brooke's words.

"Hey, I say profound things from time to time," the brunette pouted.

Haley kissed her cheek. "Tigger, you know I adore you, but you aren't the sharpest tool in the shed."

"Go take a short walk off a long pier." Brooke stuck her tongue out, to which her two friends burst out laughing.

"My point exactly Brookie." Haley patted her head and got up off the couch.

"I don't get it." Brooke looked to Peyton, confusion etched on her pretty features.

"And you never did, sweetie, but we love you anyway." Peyton teased.

"Alright, I'm off to bed and to hopefully a dreamless sleep, but no matter what, thank god the only Nathan Scott I ever have to encounter again is in my subconscious." Haley smiled; content that her problem had been solved.

Brooke and Peyton watched her wander back to her bedroom, hoping that she would be okay.

"Do you think she'll be alright?" Peyton asked after a second.

Brooke was about to respond when her eyes focused on the news alert behind Peyton on the TV. Grabbing the remote she turned the volume back on and motioned for Peyton to turn around.

There on the screen, was the _one,_ the _only_, Nathan Scott, in front of a podium with a thousand flashing bulbs going off around him.

"I'm done." Was all they heard the NBA star, the boy who had once been their friend, say before he walked out of the room and the reporters started yelling over each other to express their opinions.

Brooke turned off the television and looked at Peyton. "What does that mean_, 'he's done?'_

"I don't know." Peyton responded, but in her gut she felt a shift taking place. Nathan Scott had a look in his eyes that she had only seen when he was focusing on one of two passions in his life. Now that basketball was gone, there was only one remaining thing that could cause that fire in his eyes…_Haley_.

…

Retiring at twenty-three years old, at the top of his game, would be something his fans and critics would question until the day he died. Nathan Scott was driven, fearless, and untouchable on the court, but what they didn't see was that he was dead inside and that he had been since the first moment he walked out of Tree Hill a little over five years ago.

Those in the industry had deemed him the _Enigma_; he outscored everyone almost every game, brought his team to three National titles, yet never acknowledged his own success. In his five years as a basketball legend, he had hardly cracked a smile on the court, and had not given one exclusive interview in his career. None of his family ever attended the games and the only friends he ever socialized with were a few select, yet _equally_ private teammates. He was all business and never let a modicum of his success lead to happiness.

His talent was all he had, and maybe at one time in his life that was enough; but not after _her_.

It was ironic how someone could change your life forever and never know the power that they possessed. That's what she had done, changed him forever. She had overshadowed everything he used to think made him content and replaced it with an ecstasy-filled existence nothing else could ever compare to.

Walking out on her had been the biggest mistake of his life, one he would do anything to take back.

A therapist, he'd been forced to go to for standard evaluation after the draft, once told him he needed to let himself acknowledge to five stages of grief, so that maybe he could see a life beyond _her_. Subsequently, that's what he did.

_He lived in **denial **that she was not beside him each night._

_He allowed the **anger** of what he'd done consume him each and every day._

_Then he found himself **bargaining** with alcohol just for the chance to feel numb._

_He discovered all of the above had left him in a state of **depression**._

_And finally he **accepted**, that he couldn't take back the past._

The last step had taken five years to reach, but nevertheless it was his _awakening_…

Secured in that knowledge, he decided on a plan. Now, while he knew he did not encompass the gift of words in his arsenal, as his brother did, he was skilled in the art of taking action and to get his life back, he would have to be drastic. But when you have nothing to lose, like he did, you don't hesitate once your mind is made up.

He'd given his first exclusive interview tonight after the season-ending game and only uttered two words_, 'I'm done.' _After that, he left the stadium with a huge satisfied smile and told his agent 'thank you and goodbye.' His house in Phoenix would be placed on the market, and by the time the sports world awoke in the morning to hear the confirmation of his retirement, he'd be on a plane barreling towards the only true thing he'd ever known or ever would…_Haley_.

He wasn't naïve; it would take everything in him to get her to see that they belonged together, because at this point in her life he knew she envisioned anything but. She had a life that from the outside seemed to be perfection, but no one knew her soul or her fire like he did. It had been five years; 1825 days since he'd looked into her eyes, and the next time he saw her he knew they'd be closed to him and their love.

_**He had but only once choice...to open her eyes...again**_

* * *

Cath 


	2. Just Around The Eyes

**Author's Note:** You guys are so amazing!!!! I am so thrilled you all are enjoying this already and your reviews are what drove me to stay up till 4 am this morning to get this up for you guys one day sooner. I want you to know I read every review you all ever leave me and they all mean so much to me.

So, here we go with Chapter 2. This chapter is so special to me because of a certain bond I showcase in it. ;) It will answer alot of your questions. The first five chapters will have big flashbacks, but as the chapters increase the flashbacks will decrease and we'll focus alot more on the present.

Again, I want to thank Maggie for her amazing Maggifying skills and being so fast. Love you girl!!!!

****

**Chapter Two "Just Around The Eyes"**

"_I'm sorry if I stare  
But you must have stirred a memory and it caught me by surprise  
But it was only for a moment  
And just around the eyes_

_Only when you smiled  
You could have bowled me over  
A memory out of nowhere  
That came and went so fast  
Don't tell me I still love him  
That has to be a lie  
Its just something in your touch  
And only when you smile  
And only for a moment  
Just around the eyes_ "

**_Faith Hill_  
**

"So, I'll see you tonight at the launch party?" Landon asked her as she began to put on her bra.

Leaning over, she kissed him tenderly. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Not bothering to knock, Brooke came charging into the room. "Oh, Haley loving that red lace bra. Are you wearing the matching thong?" she asked as she tried to lift Haley's black, velvet, flared skirt that ended just above her knees.

"Get out of there, Brooke." Haley slapped Brooke's hands away and reached over to grab her long-sleeved, red, satin, ruffled blouse.

"Fine," Brooke pouted and then turned to face Landon. "Is she wearing it Lan?"

He laughed, "You know she is," he winked.

"I love that my best friend and my boyfriend totally disregard my privacy." Haley rolled her eyes.

"Oh quit being a baby, and I love that top Hales. It fits you like a glove, but tuck it in. It will accentuate your tiny waist more."

Haley did as she was told and looked in the mirror, satisfied with Brooke's suggestion. "As much as you annoy me, I love having you around to dress me."

Grinning, Brooke watched as Haley went into her closet and grabbed her black, leather, Ralph Lauren knee-high boots with the 4 inch heel and pointed toe that the two had bought together the week before with Brooke's designer discount.

"Yes, I know you do. So what time are Peyton and I suppose to be meeting you two at the party?"

Bending down, Haley zipped up her right boot. "Um, I won't be out of my meeting with Maverick till after seven tonight and I'll need to run home and change, so how about I meet all three of you there."

Landon stretched out on the bed and turned to face Brooke. "How about you and Peyton pick me up and we'll get a bite before heading over to the party. The band won't be arriving still around nine anyway.

"Sounds like a plan, Lan." Brooke pinched his cheek. "Alright, I'll leave you two lovebirds to your good-byes.

Landon waited for Brooke to exit before he pulled his preoccupied girlfriend down onto the bed beside him and pressed his lips quickly to hers.

"Landon, I'm…going…to…be…late." She managed to get out in between kisses.

"We're in the music biz Haley, they expect us to be late." He mischievously informed her before moving his lips to her neck.

With as much will as she could muster, she pushed away from him and hopped off the bed before he could make another grab for her. "Down boy. I have a zillion errands to run, not to mention some serious studio time making sure a certain pop star doesn't screw up my lyrics."

"I don't think there is a man alive that could ever get you to skip business for pleasure." Landon threw out off-handedly as he went to grab his jeans off the floor.

Haley froze immediately at his words, remembering a time long ago when nothing could have distracted her from the pleasure the man in her bed was giving her.

_Flashback…_

"_We're going to be late." Haley giggled as Nathan came up behind her completely naked, pressing his obvious excitement into her lower back._

"_Hales, you're in nothing but a black thong and high heels and you expect me to keep my hands of you?" He laughed as his warm hands came around to cup her bare breasts._

_Turning around, she snaked her arms around his neck. "You are so bad Nathan Scott."_

_He smirked. "And you wouldn't have me any other way." _

_Brushing her lips teasingly across his, she smiled. "Damn straight."  
_

_Capturing her lips, he lifted her up and her legs instinctively went around his waist. _

"_I think we can manage to be only an hour late," he teased right before he laid her down on the bed and captured her hardened nipple in his mouth._

_Sighing in pleasure, she pulled his head back up so that she could face him. "How about we just screw them all and spend the night screwing each other."_

_Nathan chuckled as she flipped them over and straddled him. "Naughty, naughty, no wonder I'm marrying you next week."_

"_Yep, and you better not make me late on my wedding day."_

_Securing his left hand on her hip, he brought his right hand up and ran it through her soft waves; simultaneously bringing her face down to his "Never beautiful, because I can't wait to call you my wife."_

"_Mmm, it has a nice ring to it." Haley licked her lips._

_Nathan stared into her eyes. " And I get to say it everyday for the rest of my life." He whispered against her lips before they both melted into each other once more letting everything else, including time, fade away._

_End Of Flashback…_

"Haley?" Landon stood in front of her and gently grabbed her shoulders. "Um, babe you are kinda freaking me out."

"Huh?" She finally looked at him, slightly still in a daze.

Kissing her lips briefly, he backed away from her with a small smile and grabbed his shirt off the floor. "I thought you \ slipped into a trance or something. Are you sure you're alright?"

Haley watched him pull the shirt over his sculpted chest. Looking at him was like staring at an Abercrombie ad, with his lean surfer build, short, thick, wavy, blonde hair, and piercing green eyes. Peyton and Brooke had sworn he was a clone of Paul Walker. 'Of course she was alright, how could she not with the perfect boyfriend standing before her.'

Grabbing her purse off her dresser, she stopped in front of him gave him a soft kiss right below his ear. "I've never been better…promise." She reassured him in a soft voice. "I'll see you tonight." With that she blew him a kiss and was out the door before he could argue. For the second time within twelve hours he watched her race away from him. Still, he wasn't put off by it. Haley James had a way of carrying everyone else's problems right along with hers and he was sure she was just caught up in another one of Brooke or Peyton's dramas.

…

_Ten hours later…_

"Taxi!" Haley yelled as she held out her arm hoping to catch one's eye.

Finally, one rolled to a stop in front of her and she high-tailed it inside. It was starting to get cooler outside and it was already half past seven. She was running late, as usual, and she still didn't have an idea of what she was going to wear.

As the city rolled by her she wondered if this day was going to end better than it had begun. She just hadn't been able to shake the uneasy feeling that settled over her after the dream she had the night before. Sure she had felt better after talking to her girls, but it seemed the dream was causing aftershocks. For five years, she had buried every memory, every heartache, and ever trace of Nathan Scott from her life and it seemed her subconscious had followed suit…that is until last night.

Then, with Landon this morning, she couldn't stop images of Nathan returning once again. It was as if they took hold of her and wouldn't let go until she relived the entire thing.

When they finally arrived at her building, she paid the driver and rushed inside so quickly that she didn't see the man catch the door before it closed and sneak in behind her.

Bypassing the large metal doors that led to the studio on the bottom floor, she climbed the stairs and unlocked the door that actually led into her home. Closing and locking the door behind her, she finally breathed for the first time and a part of her wished she could just crawl into her bed and sleep the rest of the night away.

Groaning, she made her way into her bedroom, shedding her clothes as she went. Just as she was about to go to her closet, she noticed a dress on the bed with a note from Brooke.

_Tutorgirl,_

_I knew I wouldn't be there do assist you, so I picked out your dress for tonight so you won't clash with Peyton and I tonight. You know Charlie Angel's always have to coordinate._

_Love you,_

_xoxo Tigger xoxo_

Smiling, Haley picked up the sleek-fitting, silk, satin dress that had a revealing bustier-style bodice held up by tiny spaghetti straps and appeared as if would end right at her knees. It was a gorgeous sparkling emerald green, but nevertheless she wondered if she'd even be able to breathe in it. Usually the more gorgeous the dress the more uncomfortable the fit, but Brooke would kill her if she didn't wear it and hell she was in the best shape of her life, so if you got it flaunt it. _'Lord, she was starting to sound too much like Brooke.'_

Taking off her red bra, she carefully stepped into the dress and wiggled until she finally could slip her arms into the straps and adjust her breasts to fit right into the bodice.

As she slipped her feet into the metallic, snakeskin Jimmy Choo sling backs she had also bought with Brooke's discount, she tried to reach around and zip the back of her dress but was unsuccessful.

"Damn!" She yelled out after a few more failed attempts. Her short arms were so not cooperating.

Looking in the mirror, she fluffed her wavy dark blonde hair out and added some more eye makeup for a more smoky, dramatic effect along with a dab of high shine cheery red lip-gloss to her previously neutral lips.

The doorbell rang just as she was about to grab a hanger to zip herself up and she rushed excitedly to the door. It had to be one of her roommates or Landon because no one else had the key to even get in the building, let alone to the door to their loft.

"Oh, thank god, I thought I was going to have to have the cab driver zip me up." She joked, with a laugh, as she swung the door open, but as soon as she saw who was on the other side her laughter died in her throat.

"Hey Hales."

She blinked a few times, wondering if her eyes were playing tricks on her, but each time she opened them…_there he was_.

He reached out and took her in his arms and for a second she stiffened, but then the familiarity took over and she sunk into his embrace. It had been so long and he felt so good.

Letting her go, he took her face in his hands, "God, you look gorgeous Hales. You're all grown up."

She nodded, but still couldn't speak. His eyes reminded her of so much love, so much history, and so much pain. _How could he not? _

He was her childhood best friend and while that should send her into a treasure trove of happy memories, looking at him right now, in this moment, she only saw his eyes. The eyes that were just a shade or two lighter than another Scott's, the eyes that that were full of hurt when she fell for his brother, the eyes that finally held forgiveness when she said she could never choose, the eyes that vowed to never give her away, and the eyes that told her the love she had almost sacrificed him for was gone.

_Flashback…_

_Walking into the bridal suite, Lucas found Haley, smiling at her reflection in the mirror. She looked breathtaking. The gown Brooke had made for her not only fit her like a glove, but was the perfect blend of simplicity and elegance to showcase Haley's natural beauty. She wore her hair in soft cascading curls that were pinned back with her veil and she looked like an angel or a goddess; something entirely beyond this mortal world. Her beauty and grace surpassing any standards a man or society could ever set._

_So, how could he tell her? How could he be the one to send her crashing down to this hell that was about to become her reality? She was his Hales, his best friend, the one person in this world he could never handle seeing hurt. The love between him and her was the purest he'd ever known or ever would. There was no obligation for them to be a part of each other's lives, as you would with feel with family, but from the first time they met at the tender age of eight, they'd been inseparable. They were just a boy and a girl with nothing in common except their need to escape in each other._

_There was also no unrequited love that ever lingered between them and to this day he knew people still had their doubts, but it was the truth. He'd have to be blind to not acknowledge her beauty inside and out, but his heart never went there with her and he knew neither did hers. Their friendship and connection was too special to ever be tainted by romance. _

_They were one of kind, and he never doubted for a second that if not for her influence in his life, he'd be a lesser man today._

"_Lucas, I know you are devastated you have to give me away, but could you give me a smile? I don't want you brooding in the pictures." Her lively voice teased, bringing him out of his trance. _

"_I could never give you away Hales," he promised as he walked up to her, his eyes filled with utter devotion, but then they betrayed him and she knew. Deep inside, she knew devastation lay ahead._

"_Hales, he's gone." _

_She wanted to play the dumb naïve girl who asked questions like 'who's gone' or just deny what she knew Lucas was trying to tell her. That's what she could do—just deny it forever and then she wouldn't have to feel or know her world was crashing down. But she wasn't naïve and she hated girls who could never accept their reality. And most importantly she knew Lucas would never say those words unless he truly had to; and that he would only have to if he knew without a doubt in this world, Nathan was truly gone and wasn't coming back._

_That's when it hit her, and it was in that second she literally felt her heart not just break, but collapse into a million pieces. She truly thought she had died. 'How could her heart still beat if it was shattered?'_

_It wasn't until she felt the hot tears streaming down her cheeks that she knew she was alive. The ironic thing was they weren't even hers…they were the tears of her best friend, the one constant in her life. _

_He was holding onto her so tight. "I'm so sorry Haley." He kept repeating it over and over._

"_How could he?" She heard herself ask him and his only answer was to hold her tighter against his chest._

_Shoving him away from her she began to shake. She wrapped her arms around herself, but she couldn't stop the trembling. Lucas tried to come near her, but she held out her hand for him to stay away. _

_It was then that she saw her engagement ring before her, shining out to her with the help of the rays of the sun pouring through the windows. It seemed so wrong to have something so beautiful on the finger that was said to lead directly to your heart. She methodically pulled it off her left ring finger and clutched it in her palm._

_Lucas watched her stoic figure carefully, not sure of what to do. That's when he noticed drops of blood were trickling from her clenched fist, marring the perfect ivory gown she wore._

_Grabbing her hand, he forcefully undid each finger until he could extract the diamond piercing her flesh. Taking his jacket off, he used it to wipe at the blood still streaming from her once flawless palm, revealing a pretty deep wound in the center. He couldn't believe she had the strength in her tiny little hand to do this much damage. _

"_Haley, we need to get you a bandage. Hales? Come on, I need you to say something...anything," he pleaded with her, but her eyes were void of any understanding._

"_Stay right here Haley, I'm going to look for rag or something." Rushing into the bathroom, he searched for anything, but found nothing. Glancing in the mirror he saw his tie almost mocking him. Yanking it from around his neck, he went back out to Haley._

_There she was, finally moving, but the site frightened him even more. She was wiping off her palm on the front of her dress, smearing bright red blood all over, rubbing so hard Lucas knew she was only doing more damage._

"_Shit, Haley give me your hand." He grabbed her palm and immediately began wrapping his tie around her wound. _

"_It wouldn't stop." She tried to explain, but her voice was so small, so fragile, he almost thought he'd imagined it._

_After he finished, he took her into his arms and held her against him, until finally she held him back. _

_This time though, it wasn't just his tears she felt, and before she knew it she had lost complete control as the sobs wrenched her body._

_It would take five days before her tears would even begin to cease. For almost three days straight she laid in Lucas's bed with his arms around her, he in his crumpled tux and she in her blood stained gown. _

_On the third day she finally let him undress her. She shivered when the dress finally fell to the floor and didn't object when Lucas called Karen in to help her remove the lingerie that she had only planned for Nathan to see._

_Karen then took her into Lucas's bathroom and drew a bath for her. A half-hour later, Haley emerged in one of Lucas's old T-shirts and crawled directly back into his bed. He never left her side until day five, when Peyton and Brooke came to take her away and eventually start a new life_

_Neither Haley nor Lucas could ever have imagined that would be the last time they would lay eyes on each other until five years later._

_End of Flashback…_

"Can I come in Hales?" He smiled that one of a kind smile that seemed to be bestowed upon all the Scott men.

"Oh, of course, I'm sorry…I'm just so shocked." She sputtered out as she waved him inside.

Chuckling, he followed her into the massive living room. "Nice digs, Hales. Hold up, let me zip you."

Halting, Haley pulled her long thick hair out of his way. "Thanks, I just can't believe you are really here."

When she turned back around to face him, he looked her up and down again. "You look so good Hales, I've missed you… so much." He choked on his last word and cleared his throat hoping to cover his emotions.

Haley's eyes filled with tears and she flew into his arms and held onto him for dear life. "God, I've missed you too, I'm so sorry Lucas." She mumbled into his neck.

"It wasn't just you Hales."

Stepping out of his embrace, she held on tightly to his right hand and led him to the sofa, making sure she sat as close to him as she could get. "It was me Lucas, I punished you because…well you know, and it was so stupid."

Squeezing her hand he smiled reassuringly. "Hales, I knew seeing me in person would be like stepping back in time for you and I understood that. So, I just stayed satisfied keeping in contact with you through the phone and email because I knew one day we'd find our way back."

She brushed her free hand across his cheek. "You haven't changed a bit. I'm so glad you here Lucas, how long are you staying? Oh, you can stay here and we can go everywhere…"

"Hold up Hales." He stopped one of her rambles that he had missed so much. "That's another surprise. I'm not just visiting here… I'm moving."

Haley's jaw dropped and she flung her arms around his neck knocking him flat on his back on the sofa. "Oh my God!" She squealed loudly in his ear.

Leaning back upright, he breathed a dramatic sigh of relief. "Now that's the reaction I was counting on."

Haley couldn't wipe the grin off her face and just stared at her friend before her. She had been so terrified of the memories he'd bring back when she finally saw him again, and while he did awaken some unwanted emotions, the amazing feeling of him really being back in her life overshadowed any fear she had. It was amazing that after five years of never being in the same room, she could still feel that strong connection with him as much as she ever did.

Looking in her eyes, Lucas could see the same emotions running through her. They had always been like that; they never needed many words. He knew her and she knew him and that's was all that mattered. A part of him had been so afraid she would shut him out as soon as she saw his face, but the woman before him was not the fragile girl Brooke and Peyton had taken away from Tree Hill five years ago. She was a stunning, strong young woman, but he could tell she was still the vibrant, passionate, and witty girl that he had loved for most of his life.

"Is it wrong that I feel no time has passed?" Haley blurted out, not being able to hold back the huge grin on her face.

"We always were in sync." He winked at her.

"So where are you living?" She asked excitedly.

"Actually, about two blocks away."

"Are you serious? This is so great! So, tell me why the move to New York? I thought you were loving it in Paris."

Lucas leaned back comfortably, already feeling incredibly at ease in Haley's home. "Well, after a year of drinking wine, eating smelly cheese, and trying to conquer the language barrier, I got fed up. I mean I'm a writer, so it doesn't really matter where I live, so I thought why not New York. You've found happiness here, so why can't I?" He rationalized to her.

Haley bit her lip, pondering if she should ask, but ultimately decided that if he was back in New York he could have no secrets from her. "What about Sophie?"

Lucas didn't even miss a beat. "Sophie's very happy with Sean Pierre last I checked."

"Ouch, sorry Luke." She rubbed his arm comfortingly.

Lucas shrugged. "Eh, you win some you lose some. She wasn't the one anyway."

"Hmm, could _'the one'_ be one of my two fabulous roommates?" Haley quirked her eyebrow.

"We are not going there. I'm just hoping they let me hang out with y'all every now and then."

"I know they will, it's not like you haven't been trading emails with them either or talking to them when they answer my cell."

"True, but they might not take too kindly to a man invading on your girl time."

Haley was about to answer when her cell went off. "Crap, hold on let me get that." Reaching over she grabbed her cell out of her tiny evening bag on the coffee table.

"Hello?"

"Hey baby, where are you?" Landon asked, his strong voice being overpowered by the music in the background.

Looking at Lucas, she tried to think of an excuse. "Um, I'm not felling too well," she rattled out and added a few fake coughs for effect.

"You want me to come take care of you?"

"Oh, no sweetie I'm fine, besides I don't want you to catch whatever I have. Tell the girls, to have a good time and not to worry.

"Alright, well, get better and I'll call you in the morning."

Haley said a quick goodbye and turned back to Lucas. "Sorry about that."

"Still working that fake cough I see."

"You know it."

"So, was that the new boyfriend?"

"Yeah, that was Landon. It's still really new though." She explained evasively.

Lucas looked confused. "Wait Landon? Best guy friend who tried to replace me, Landon?"

Rolling her eyes playfully, Haley went ahead and turned her ringer completely off to avoid any further interruptions. "No one could ever replace you Lucas, but yes that Landon. After I broke up with the last guy I was seeing, Landon just happened to be there to distract me as usual, we drank a bit, and one thing led to another…"

Lucas held up his hands. "I get the idea."

Haley slapped him on the arm playfully, "Anwayyyyyyyy, the next morning I tried to say it was a mistake, but he just let loose and confessed he'd been having feelings for me for awhile and wanted more. So, after a long talk with Brooke and Peyton, who let it spill they'd known for awhile, I decided to give it a shot."

"Do you guys still work together?"

"Not too much. You know he's the producer I met when I sold my first song to Maverick and he's the one that truly showed me that my love wasn't in performing but writing and producing the actual music itself. But that was a couple years ago, and luckily I kind of carved out my own place in the industry separate from the great Landon Ryder. I hadn't told you this yet, but Peyton and I just worked out this amazing deal with Maverick and created our own division with them. So now, basically it's Peyton and I finding and developing new artists while I still write and sell music.

"Hales, that's perfect. You and Peyton always were the music junkies."

"Yeah, we work well together and she actually still finds time for her drawings; she designs amazing album covers and promotional art."

Lucas glanced over at the coffee table and saw four pictures containing all three girls, with their arms around each other and the brightest smiles on their faces. "I love that you three found each other."

Following his line of sight, Haley smiled with him at the photos. "Could you ever imagine at the beginning of our sophomore year in high school, I'd become inseparable with Brooke Davis and Peyton Sawyer."

"I never doubted for a second that anyone could not fall in love with you Hales, but I did have my doubts with at least Brooke, but she sure as hell surprised me."

Haley watched his eyes light up at Brooke's name, but kept it to herself. "You and me both, but I can't imagine my life without her. She just got a promotion at InStyle Magazine. They actually pay her to shop and report on the latest and greatest trends. Plus, she gets amazing freebies."

"Damn, all of you found your niche here. But Haley, honestly, are you truly happy? With New York, with Landon, with everything? I know you've told me you are in emails and on the phone, but I need you to look at me and tell me. It broke my heart when you left, but I wanted what was best for you so I didn't try to stop you. So, I guess I just need the reassurance that I did the right thing, for my own peace of mind. "

Leaning over Haley kissed him on the cheek. "Yes, Lucas I really am. Is Landon the one? Probably not, but it doesn't mean I can't have fun figuring that out. A guy isn't what I gauge my happiness on. I've learned a lot in my five years. I'm happy with who I am, I have a great job, amazing friends who have become my family, a fabulous place to live, and now I have you back in my life. I'm content…beyond content. "

"I'm proud of who I've become and what I've built for myself. If I fall in love one day, then it's really just the icing on the cake. I never thought this is where I'd be five years ago, and yeah maybe a tiny part of me wonders what if I had taken other paths, but I can't dwell on that. The past is the past, and the future is unknown, but rest assured I'm enjoying the hell out of my present."

Satisfied, Lucas took her hand and pulled her up with him. "Now that that's settled, how about you take me out to find a decent cup of coffee."

Nodding, Haley went to grab her coat, but just held it in her arms, figuring she could put it on outside. "You are so in luck Mr. Scott, there is this amazing funky little coffee house that could almost rival your mom's coffee and homemade cinnamon rolls."

Chuckling and shaking his head in wonder of why it took him so long to come here, he followed her out the door, down the stairs, and into the chilly streets of New York City.

"Damn, it must have dropped twenty degrees. Here help me with my coat." She held it out for him.

"Bossing me around already I see," he quipped as he held her black satin trench open for her.

Tilting her head, she gave him one of her signature Haley James smiles, one that filled you heart and literally lit up the world around you. "You know you love it."

Slipping her arms into the coat, and securing the belt around her waist, she looped her right arm through his. "Lucas?"

"Hmm?" He asked as they began to walk down her block.

"Are you happy?"

He glanced down at her questioning eyes and smiled. "I'm getting there."

Putting her head on his shoulder, the two long time best friends continued their walk in silence, savoring their reconnection. They had always known they were destined to go through life together and for the first time in five years, they were finally walking in the same direction once again.

…

Dark blue orbs followed the pair as they walked down the street, reveling in happiness. Pangs of jealousy shot through his veins as he watched the two people that used to be his world stroll along without so much as a thought of the role he once played in both their lives. There used to be a time when he'd be walking along with them, planted firmly on the other side of _her_.

Now, he was an outsider; not only from _her_ life, but from the _man _beside her as well. The love of his life and his brother, together again as if nothing had ever changed. It had been so long since he had been a part of their lives, and he knew that the only memories that they still harbored of him were probably the painful ones. He knew that even if they knew he was watching, they wouldn't care. He had lost the right to both of their concerns years ago.

He didn't blame them though, they both had justification in never wanting to lay eyes on him again. In the same breath that he broke her, he had destroyed all ties with his brother. Haley had told him from the start there was no her without Lucas, and Nathan had quickly learned that it worked both ways. He used to resent that about the two of them, that is until he met and fell in love with her.

He finally identified with his brother, not through the love of basketball, but through the love of Haley. She made the three of them a family and looking back Nathan could see his life only really began the moment he first laid eyes on her in that crowded school hallway. '_God he missed her_.'

Watching as Lucas and Haley turned the corner Nathan felt an overwhelming sense of confidence wash over him. He knew he had a long road ahead of him and that one of the first obstacles to getting his life back was going to be the toughest, but he would overcome it…_he had no other choice_.

Tomorrow he would face his brother for the first time in five years and it would bring him one step closer to winning back Haley James once and for all.

* * *

Cath


	3. I Won't Back Down

**Author's Note:** Well, life got in the way a bit and I couldn't write as much as I wanted and when I actually did sit down to write, a new chapter of this story came out alot better than the rest of JWTF. So, I went with the flow and knocked this out. But JWTF is very close, I just need to sit down and let it come to me. Hopefully, the epilogue for Timeless will come out soon too. ;)

Anyway, this chapter will answer alot of your questions and I can't wait to see what you all think of it. As always, thank you so much for all your reviews, they mean so much to me.

Thanks to my love Maggie for continuing to be an amazing beta. :)

**Chapter Three "I Won't Back Down"**

_Well I wont back down, no I wont back down  
You can stand me up at the gates of hell  
But I wont back down _

Gonna stand my ground, wont be turned around  
And Ill keep this world from draggin me down  
Gonna stand my ground and I wont back down

_**Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers**_

Exhausted, Lucas dropped the last box onto the living room floor of the New York City loft that was his new home. Looking around, he was satisfied that at least all of his furniture and belongings were in one place, even if it would take him weeks to organize it all.

He couldn't believe he had really moved here, but it felt so right. Tonight he'd be having dinner with Haley, Peyton and Brooke and he was nervous as hell. Having Haley on his side was one thing, but Peyton and Brooke were just a tad daunting. _Who the hell was he kidding?_ Those two put the fear of God into him and he knew that time only multiplied their sarcasm.

"Need any help?"

Lucas froze, pretty sure his heart even stopped. _It couldn't be? _Slowly, he turned around and there, in his doorway, stood his only brother.

Nathan hesitated in the doorway for a moment, but took a chance and stepped inside. "I guess you got it all up here. I wasn't always the best at my timing." He cleared his throat nervously, trying to get Lucas to respond to him any shape of form.

He got his wish because as soon as he was within reach, Lucas threw a left hook that landed squarely on Nathan's jaw and sent him tumbling towards the hardwood floor.

Nathan stayed down on the ground and rubbed his already aching jaw. "Damn, I guess I deserved that."

"Get the fuck out." Lucas gritted out through clenched teeth.

Getting up of the floor, Nathan stood his ground. "If you want to fight, then game on, but at the end of the day when we're both bruised and bloody, I'll still be here until you listen to what I have to say. "

The two brothers stared at each other in a silent battle of wills before Lucas finally broke eye contact and turned away.

"You have five minutes." He relented and motioned for Nathan to sit on his mahogany, leather couch while he sat in a chair off to the side.

"I'm still in love with her Luke." Nathan stated plainly.

Lucas rolled his eyes. "Tell me something I don't know. I'm not an idiot Nathan, I knew you loved Haley then and I figured you've never stopped, but that doesn't explain or excuse all the things that you've done."

"Just let me finish Lucas. You don't understand how hard it was for me."

Lucas couldn't take one more second of this shit and rose to his feet. "Understand? You want me to understand? You weren't there GOD DAMN IT!" Lucas shouted.

"I was the _one_ that had to tell Haley you left her, I was the _one_ who had to watch her break, I was the _one_ who held her in my arms for days as she sobbed for you, I was the _one_ who had to deal with the guilt that I ever let you near her, and because of what you did, I was the _one_ who had to give her up for five years so that she could have a life where you didn't haunt her."

"I had to live without her too, Lucas!" Nathan shouted right back.

Staring at his brother as if he was insane, Lucas went to a box in the corner and quickly ripped it open. After a few moments of searching his finally produced a small velvet bag out of a smaller box marked _Haley_. Shaking the object out of the bag, he came back to stand in front of his brother and then slammed the object down onto the table.

Looking down, Nathan saw the ring he'd given Haley six months before their wedding day. He'd saved forever for that ring, because from the moment Haley slipped it on her finger, he knew that's where it belonged. Just as he had known from the moment he collapsed on the court she was where he belonged.

_Flashback…_

"_Why are we here again?" Nathan groaned as Haley lead him into the small antique shop that they had driven an hour from Tree Hill to get to._

"_Because you said you wanted to help me pick out Lucas' birthday present and this place usually has some amazing rare book finds." She explained as she went directly to a shelf that contained several ancient looking books._

_Not taking his eyes off her, he smirked as she raised her hand up to reach a book and her shirt rose, revealing her tattoo of his jersey number. What he wouldn't give to be lined up behind her, sliding in and out of her as he stared at that number. 'Damn he needed a cold shower.'_

"_Nathan quit staring at me and help me reach this." Haley said, while at the same time blushing, figuring he was picturing her in a lot less clothing. Ever since she'd gotten the tattoo, he'd become way too fascinated with her backside._

_Coming up behind her, he placed his hands on her hips and effortlessly lifted her so could reach the book. "I love that I can make you blush just by staring at you." He teased as he sat her back down._

"_It's not the staring it's the fact that I know that smirk on your face usually means you have me in some compromising position."_

"_Oh trust me, I have you in every possible position."_

"_Nathan." She blushed even more and swatted his arm._

_Leaning down, he kissed her forehead tenderly. "I'll be good, I just love seeing you blush for me."_

"_I can't take you Scotts anywhere." She admonished playfully._

"_Well, I hope when the other Scott took you here, you weren't having the same problem." He commented light heartedly, although at times he still couldn't accept that Lucas didn't want more with Haley. How could any guy spend that much time with her and not try something? He'd been better though at understanding the platonic yet apparently powerful connection Haley and Lucas shared. While he was still insanely jealous of when Lucas ever spent time with Haley, he'd come to accept Lucas wasn't half bad and that even calling him his brother was getting easier each day._

"_Oh please, he just always managed to knock something fragile over. Wow, this is perfect." Haley beamed as she ran her fingers over a first edition John Steinbeck that contained his entire thought process and all his letters to his editor as he wrote one of his masterpieces, East of Eden. She knew Lucas would love it._

_Nathan took it out of her hand and looked at her confused. "A hundred bucks for a worn out book about a better book."_

"_Lucas has always wanted to be a writer and this book gets inside the head of one of the greatest authors of all time. Trust me, Lucas will freak about this book."_

"_I'll never get yours and Lucas's obsession with all things old."_

_Haley patted his cheek "You're lucky you're so pretty."_

_Wrapping his arm around her shoulders, he led her to the register. "You think I'm hot."_

"_Lord, why did I feed your ego?" She rolled her eyes and laughed._

_A woman in her sixties smiled at them as they approached the counter. "Did you find everything you need?"_

_Smiling kindly, Haley handed her the book. "Yes ma'am, thank you very much."_

_As the women slowly began wrapping the book, Nathan absentmindedly began to look at the jewelry showcased in the glass counter and noticed Haley staring at one item in particular._

"_Uh, can we see that ring right there, Ma'am?" Nathan pointed to the ring in question._

"_Nathan what are you doing?" Haley whispered, slightly embarrassed._

_He just smiled and took the ring from the woman. Facing Haley, he took her left hand and slipped it on her left ring finger. He really didn't stop to think why he was doing this…it just felt like the most normal thing in the world._

_The woman smiled to the young couple, it was obvious they were young but you could just feel the love between them. "That's a lovely choice sir. It's a ring designed from 1920's and such a gorgeous work of art. It's a one-carat brilliant-cut, round diamond raised in an elegant split prong platinum setting with open sides that leave a clear side view of the center diamond. And there are exactly twenty-three beaded diamonds along the band. Oh, and the best part, if you notice there are two secret diamonds set below the center diamond on the front and backside. Secret diamonds are said to represent two souls that meet in the middle to create a much more powerful united soul, which is demonstrated by the center diamond." _

"_It's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen." Haley breathed as she gazed down at her hand that was still being held by Nathan, and she couldn't help the jolt she felt knowing he was the one to place it on her hand._

_Nathan had known since that first tutoring session there was something different about Haley and that from that day on his life would never be the same; and he was right. _

_They'd only been together for four weeks, but he was already hopelessly in love and he never imagined he could ever be capable of falling in love with parents like his. She opened his eyes to a whole new world and he'd never been happier in his entire life. So, it really didn't come as a surprise to him that when he placed that ring on her finger, that deep inside he knew she was the one. In that moment, his entire future flashed before him and all he saw was Haley._

"_Shall, I wrap it?" The woman asked breaking them out of their thoughts._

_Haley began to blush profusely. "Oh, I'm sorry. We were just playing around, we won't be buying it." She took the ring off and handed it back to the woman._

"_Yet." Nathan whispered down to Haley. _

_End of Flashback…_

"I had to dig that ring out of her clenched fist, you son of a bitch. She not only cried, she bled for you. You tore her down completely, Nathan. Everything she trusted in life, you ripped away and left me to pick up the pieces. You couldn't even tell her to her face. You're a fucking coward and you never deserved her."

Nathan put his head in his hands, trying to hold back his emotions, but the images of a broken Haley crying for him was just too much to bear. "If I could take it back, I would in a second," he whispered; his voice thick with pent up emotions.

"But you can't." Lucas answered back coldly. "Just get the hell out Nathan, nothing you can say will change a damn thing."

"I can't live without her Luke. I tried, I tried for five years to keep my distance."

Lucas laughed bitterly. "You're such a prince."

"With or without your help, I'm fighting to get her back Luke." Nathan finally revealed.

"Are you serious?"

"More serious than I have been about anything in my entire life. I left because I never thought I could the man she deserved and there's a little more to it, but she's deserves to hear why before anyone else. Point is, no matter what reasons I had, I realized I was wrong. Every day without her has killed me. I threw myself into the NBA, hoping that it would at least distract me, but nothing helped."

Lucas sighed and sat back down. As much as he hated to admit it, he could see Nathan was telling the truth. "Is that why you retired?"

Nathan nodded. "So you saw that?"

"I may not play ball anymore, but I do still watch it."

"I guess a just figured you'd avoid anything to do with me, just like Haley."

Pausing, Lucas decided that if Nathan could be honest so could he. "I won't lie Nathan, I pretty much erased you from my life except for the exceptional game on television, but what choice did you leave me. You didn't just leave Haley that day, you left me too. So what the hell did you expect? One day you were there and the next, you left everything behind like it never meant anything to you. I won't apologize for a single bad thought I felt and still feel for you."

"I don't expect you to, but believe me, you haven't called me a single name I haven't already called myself. I know this is going to be an uphill battle not only with Haley, but with you too. All, I'm asking is for you to give me a shot."

Pulling his vibrating phone out of his pocket, Lucas noticed it was Haley, but let it go to voicemail. No way he could handle talking to her at this moment. "Honestly man, I don't know if Haley could ever look at you the way she used to. Plus, she's happy Nathan. She's made an incredible life for herself here and I'm pretty sure that life has no room for you in it. I know that's not what you want to hear, but I'm not going to lie to you."

Nathan wasn't going to be deterred. "Come on Lucas, you remember Haley and I together. Can you honestly tell me you think she's going to find that with anyone else? Because if you think that she's better off without me and could find something even close to what we shared then I'll go back to where I came from. But if there is a single ounce of you that believes that just maybe I could open her eyes to me again, then don't stand in my way. You don't have to like it or even support it, just let me try. I'm fighting for my life here."

Watching his brother, Lucas could tell how much pain he was in, and while ninety nine percent of him wanted to tell him Haley would never be happy with him and to get the hell out of New York, there was that one percent of him that wouldn't be quiet. It kept flashing images of that radiant smile on Haley's face that only being in love could produce, it kept telling him that maybe the only guy who could find their way into Haley's heart was the one that broke it, and more importantly it kept screaming that if his brother and best friend could recapture the love that people usually wait a lifetime for and never find, then they should have that chance.

"Alright." Lucas finally softly agreed and Nathan knew it had taken everything in his brother to say that one word.

"But, Nathan, like I said you have no idea of the pain she went though. Getting her to forgive you is one thing, but getting her to ever contemplate letting you back into her heart is a feat I don't think you truly understand."

Picking up the ring, Nathan slipped it into his pocket. "You're right, she'd never let me back in; that's why I have to get her to see she never really let me out."

…

"Hey Brooke, it's me." Haley spoke into her cell.

"Hey Tutorgirl, where are you? Our reservations are in twenty minutes."

Haley glanced at her watch. "Shit, I bet Lucas has already left. And of course he never called me back from this afternoon."

"Lucas was always a stickler for being on time. Lord, sometimes he even said no to sex because it would make us late. Can you imagine?" Brooke asked, truly aghast at the thought any man could say no to her.

Laughing, Haley entered the key code Lucas had given her. "Look, you and Peyton get in the car and pick me up at Lucas'."

Brooke motioned for Peyton to grab her keys. "I thought you said Lucas already left?"

"Yeah, well I'm already here, besides he gave me a key to his place. So, even if I missed him, this gives me a chance to check out his place."

"Oh goody, let us know if he has any creepy shrines of Goldilocks? Since obviously he had some sick obsession with her to ever let me go," Brooke winked playfully to Peyton as they climbed into Brooke's new baby…her shiny, silver Range Rover.

Haley giggled as she heard Peyton hit Brooke in the arm and the brunette started whining.

"Stop it you two. Just hurry up and get here."

"Wait…Haley what are you wearing?" Brooke asked, sweet as pie.

"I changed into the strapless little black dress, I keep in my office in case of emergency…Oh wait, let me clarify, the one you put in my office after that one time I showed up in what you deemed a 'boring' outfit to dinner at Tao. I'm freezing my buns off though, because you didn't leave me an emergency jacket or wrap."

"Haley, why would I do that? You are supposed to have a guy warm you up, not a jacket. Besides, playing the 'I'm cold' card always gets them every time."

Peyton grabbed the phone. "I can't take her babbling one more minute. We'll honk when we get there. It's just a few blocks down right?"

"Yeah, it's that newly renovated building down by that Italian restaurant we love."

"Got it, see you then."

Right as she stuck her key in the door she heard movement inside and couldn't believe Lucas hadn't left yet.

"You know Lucas, you could have at least answered your phone to tell me you were going to be late." Haley teased as she swung open the door, a huge smile on her face.

"Haley." The words left Nathan's lips in a whisper, afraid that if he said her name too loud she would vanish.

"You're not Lucas." Haley finally spoke after two of the longest minutes in his life, but it was clear she was still in shock and he wasn't sure if she had even taken a breath.

There he stood…Nathan Scott, in nothing but jeans hung loose on his hips. He was barefoot, and wandering about as if he was comfortable in his setting, meaning he wasn't just here by coincidence. If she had seen him anywhere else, she would have written it off as a hallucination, but him being here in his brother's house…so comfortable, it was real…_too real_.

'_God she was gorgeous.' _She always had been…but he could tell that now she was more confident in her beauty and wasn't afraid to let it show. He couldn't believe she was standing right there in front of him.

"You're not Lucas." She softly repeated.

He shifted nervously. "Uh, yeah…look Hales." He moved closer.

Hearing him choose to use such an intimate form of her name, made her blood run cold. She quickly held up her hand to stop him from moving any closer. "Don't."

Nodding, he took a step back. "I know this is a shock."

"Haley, I don't care how scary Peyton looks in the shrine, it's still no reason to keep us waiting and make me have to sweet talk my way into this building." Brooke bitched as she walked into Lucas' apartment.

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me?" Brooke remarked as soon as she saw the scene before her.

"Haley let's go; now." She pulled at Haley's arm.

"Wait!" Nathan tried to stop them.

Brooke swung around—fire in her eyes. "Wait? You want her to wait?" She asked as she slowly got closer to him.

"That's fucking irony if I ever heard it. Where do you get off? I mean I've always known you were an arrogant ass, but this is all time low even for you."

"Brooke this is none of your business." Nathan warned her.

"None of my business? You're the one who has no business even breathing the same air as Haley. I don't know why you're here or what your plans are…but stay the hell away from her Nathan or I swear to God…"

"Brooke stop." Haley intervened.

Nathan looked hopefully to Haley, but he was only met with emotionless eyes.

"He's not worth it." She spoke firmly, yet her words were hollow, almost mechanical.

Brooke smiled reassuringly toward her. "You're right he's not." But before she went back to Haley's side, she faced Nathan once more and slapped him as hard as she could. "But I'm a little slow on the uptake."

Nathan rubbed his sore cheek that just happened to be right above his still throbbing jaw. "I'm not going away." He yelled after them.

Brooke took Haley by the arm, but just before they walked out, Haley turned back and locked eyes with him and he knew she saw the promise shining in his eyes.

But he still saw nothing in hers, but he had expected that, even prepared himself for it. He just had to get her to feel again for him, even if it was hate; because at least with hate there was still passion and with that passion he would get her to see their love again.

He would never back down…_never again_.

_Flashback…_

"_Haley James soon-to-be-Scott, get your horny little ass out here pronto."_

_Haley rolled off Nathan, giggling. _

"_Just five more minutes." Nathan smirked as he grabbed her wrist and pulled her back on top of him._

_Haley kissed him quickly on the lips and then pulled back ever so slightly "If I stay here, I know we're going to do something naughty, and I think Brooke might kill me if we break tradition." She purred against his lips._

"_Mmm, I don't ever want you to leave this bed…let's call the priest and he can marry us right here." He huskily suggested, as he began to kiss her neck._

"_Only one more dayyy." She half spoke, half moaned. _

"_Actually twelve hours, four minutes and twenty seven seconds." Brooke proclaimed, as she checked her watch in the doorway._

"_Brooke get the hell out of here." Nathan bitched as he held on tight to Haley._

_Brooke just rolled her eyes. "Sorry Scott, but it's almost midnight and the groom cannot see the bride on her wedding day. Haley we are now down to less than four minutes. " _

"_Yes, Bitch Davis." Haley grinned and saluted._

"_That's Bitch Davis, maid of honor extradornaire to you Miss 'I am a pain in the ass because I am the bride" James." Brooke playfully corrected her while tossing Haley one of Nathan's sweatshirts that was lying haphazardly on the ground._

_Reluctantly getting out of the bed, Haley slipped the sweatshirt over her tank top. "Oh, you know I love you bossing me around Tigger and I'm coming, but…um… I have no idea where my shorts are."_

_Brooke grabbed her arm. "No time, besides that shirt swallows you whole anyway, you can't even see your cute caboose."_

"_Damn Brooke can you even give me a minute to say goodbye to my fiancée before you kidnap her? Nathan interjected._

_Brooke checked her watch. "Um, no, but we do have time for your whipped ass to blow your Haley-bear a kiss."_

_Nathan ignored her and looked at Haley. "I'll see you at the finish line…I love you Hales."_

"_I wouldn't miss it for the world and I love you too Nathan Scott." Haley promised with a wink and a radiant smile before she was pulled out of his sight. _

_About an hour trying to get some sleep, he decided to give up and shoot some hoops. _

_Haley had moved in a month before, once her parents declared they didn't want their future son-in-law breaking his neck trying to sneak into their daughter's room every night. Lydia and Jimmy were not your average parents, besides in their minds once you are engaged the rest of the wedding stuff was just red tape. To them if you already pledged your life together in your hearts, sharing a bed is just expected. _

_The only negative was that when she was not beside him, he got restless and never got a good night sleep. He figured his body would never settle for anything less than having Haley by his side every night._

_Once he arrived at the Rivercourt, he began hitting shot after shot, running tomorrow's events through his head._

"_Mrs. Haley James Scott." Nathan proudly recited Haley's soon-to-be new name out loud as he launched another nothing but net ball through the hoop at the Rivercourt. While most grooms usually have cold feet the night before they say 'I Do' Nathan couldn't get over the fact that by this time tomorrow Haley would finally be his wife. If he had had it his way, they would have eloped six months ago, but Haley had told him long before he proposed of her dream to be married at the beautiful plantation where her parents were married._

"_Not if I can help it." Dan mused as he stepped onto the court._

_Nathan missed his shot and whipped around to see his father—smug as ever._

"_What do you want Dad?"_

"_For you and Haley to have a very happy life…apart." He added at the end with a smirk._

"_Save it Dad, she's going to be my wife and you sure as hell better start respecting her."_

"_You think so little of me son. I have the utmost respect for Haley, in fact I want her to have the best life possible. Which is why it would be such a shame for her not to be able to able to go college." Dan smiled wickedly._

"_What the hell are you talking about?"_

"_Well, you know that National scholarship that Haley so admirably earned?"_

"_Of course"_

"_Turns out being the Mayor of the town she attends high school in, gives me some pull. I mean how would it look when I presented evidence that Miss James wasn't who she said she was."_

_Nathan clenched his fists at his side. "What evidence?"_

"_Unfortunately, Haley is too squeaky clean for my taste. So I've had to waste my time adding fraud to my lists of evil deeds." _

"_You would seriously hurt her like that? You know we don't have money to pay her tuition without that help and neither do her parents."_

_Dan chuckled. "Well, there is a way around it. You have a choice, you can either go to UCLA or the NBA." Dan said as calmly, as if he was presenting Nathan with a choice of a hamburger or a hotdog._

"_I turned down Phoenix, Dad, and I didn't even apply to UCLA and neither did Haley."_

_Dan rolled his eyes. "I think your mom most have dropped you on your head because you are missing the point son. Those two options separate you from Haley; and I applied to UCLA for you and I also talked with a friend I know who says Phoenix is willing to re-extend the offer. "_

_Nathan started to walk away. "You're fucking insane." He yelled back to his father._

"_Are you that selfish son? Haley will have no way to go to college and end up resenting you. You could never be a husband anyway, you know she's going to end up leaving you. Right now she's still enamored by you, but what happens when she starts to see there is nothing more to you, that you truly are my son. Because one day she's going to wake up and see me when she looks at you. It's in your blood son and there's no way that you can avoid it. Look at your mother, you say I destroyed her, do you really think you won't do that to Haley?"_

_Nathan kept his back turned to his father, but halted. "I would never do that to her. I will never become you."_

"_Didn't Haley want to go Stanford and yet, low and behold, she ends up going to your dream school? Sounds like she's the only one sacrificing. Just think about it Nathan, sure it will be hard for awhile losing her, but you're giving her a future, a future with an education and a future in which you can never hurt her the way I did your mother. You're saving her Nathan, and deep inside you know what needs to be done, you're just too scared to lose her."_

_End of Flashback…_

That was the night he backed down and let his father win. Looking back, Nathan knew that walking away that night was something just like his father would do. It set him on a path to become Dan Scott. Dan too had walked away from the love of his life when he left Karen, and it turned him into a bitter, selfish shell of a man that ended up hurting everyone around him, especially Nathan and his mother.

But, what Dan never counted on was that Nathan's love for Haley would never fade and that Nathan might actually learn from the sins of his father. It may have taken him five years to see the light, but now he was back on the right path, back to being the man he was meant to be, and back to where he belonged…_with Haley_.

* * *

Cath 


	4. Salt For Your Wounds

**Author's Note:** Hey everyone, I love that you all are enjoying this and I just wanted to tell you that your reviews help me so much in writing each chap. Your feedback helps me see what questions I need to address and what I need to focus on more. You guys are the best. :)

Oh and I swear I am trying so hard to write the next JWTF and the end of Timeless, but everytime I sit down Open Your Eyes comes out. LOL I mean I will be sitting there staring at what I have done on JWTF and then my mind will only pop out OYE ideas. But I just want you to know I am trying and as soon as inspiration hits I will get it out to you all.

Also, I want to thank Maggie for as always giving me amazing input and Christina for doing an incredible job betaing.

**Chapter Four "Salt For Your Wounds"**

_There's a tear in my heart where the blood ran out.  
There's a tear in my heart where the love ran out. I thought  
we worked, pushed toward the same ends,  
I'll never be so quick to trust again.  
Disenchanted, disgusted, I regret that I trusted.  
I put my faith.  
_

_My faith in you, you poisoned me through and through.  
I though we both shared the same injuries.  
Now I've found it's you who injures me.  
My heart is cracked from being left out in the cold.  
I know you'll pay for what you've taken - tenfold.  
Disenchanted, disgusted, I regret that I trusted.  
I put my faith._

**_AFI_**

"Who do you think is moving in?" Brooke asked as she popped a green M&M in her mouth.

Peyton shrugged and grabbed some M&Ms out of the bowl between them for herself. "No idea, but whoever it is they must be loaded. I know for a fact that place was still only half way renovated before the last buyer backed out and then all of a sudden workers show up twenty four seven and it's ready to move in like three weeks later. We had to wait six months till they finished renovating ours and that was with three salaries combined."

"I wonder if he's single..." Brooke pondered— her radar on high alert.

"How do you know it's a he?"

Brooke handed Peyton the binoculars. "Because all his furniture is leather and there is no way a woman would let all that sports memorabilia crap into her house. Maybe a few items but practically a truckload? No way…plus I didn't see a single box marked shoes."

Peyton surveyed the various lamps going into the building and was about to hand the binoculars back to Brooke when something caught her eye. "Um, Brooke what was Nathan's jersey number?"

Brooke rolled her eyes. "Peyton you know as well as I do it's twenty three. Hell, Haley has it tattooed above her ass to remind us everyday, why would you even ask?

"I was just praying I got the number wrong." Peyton explained and handed the binoculars back to Brooke.

Putting them up to her eyes Brooke tried to see what Peyton was getting. "I don't know what…SHIT!" There was the number twenty-three, printed on the back of a Tree Hill Raven's jersey, inside a large frame, being carried into the building. Tree Hill High had retired that number, at the end of Nathan's senior year. There was no way anyone else on the planet could be the owner of that jersey.

Peyton just nodded.

"No way. He wouldn't, would he?" Brooke looked hopefully at Peyton.

"He's Nathan Scott. Did you really think he'd just go quietly away?"

"Not really, but I didn't think he'd go this far."

"Who wouldn't go far?" Haley asked as she walked into the living room, with one towel on her body and one holding up her wet hair.

Brooke and Peyton immediately jumped up from the chairs, they had pulled up to the window, and sat on the window seal, hopefully blocking Haley's view.

"Um, no one." Brooke smiled sweetly and then bounced quickly over to Haley; steering her away from the window she was steadily approaching.

Haley gave her an odd look, then looked over at a sprawled out Peyton at the window. "I told you not to give her sugar before noon."

Peyton just laughed nervously. "So, Haley what are you doing today?"

"I'm going to the store, you know that. It's my turn. Why are you guys being so weird and staring at me?"

"Peyton's always acting weird with her creepy drawings, you know that Haley."

"And you're always a bitch." Peyton threw back with a smile.

Grabbing her cup of coffee, Haley gave them one last confused look, before heading back off in her bedroom to get ready for the day.

"That was close." Brooke whispered as she got closer to Peyton.

Looking out the window, Peyton saw a black SUV pull up and Nathan get out. "We can't hide it forever Brooke."

Brooke followed her line of sight. "Yeah, I know. I think she has really convinced herself that if she pretends she never saw him last night, he'll just crawl back into his little hole and die. God, I should have killed him when I had the chance."

"Brooke, I don't think you'd survive in prison."

"Not a jury alive would convict me for killing his heartbreaking ass."

Peyton cracked a smile at that. "True, but let's call that plan B."

"What's plan A?"

Peyton watched Nathan shake the movers' hand, smiling, and acting as if he didn't have a care in the world. ."To pray Haley survives the second wave of Nathan Scott."

The buzzing of the door downstairs brought both girls out of their thoughts.

"Who is it?" Peyton asked at the intercom.

"It's Lucas."

Peyton pressed the release button and opened the door to their loft.

"How could you let him in here?" Brooke protested, but at the same time began to comb through her hair with her fingers.

"Look, you and I both know Lucas would never hurt Haley and I'm sure he has a good explanation for letting his evil twin into his apartment and not telling Haley."

Brooke scoffed. "Or maybe there isn't a good twin."

"Hey, it's hard enough being is half brother don't stick me in the same womb as him." Lucas spoke up as he walked into the apartment.

"Looking good Scott." Peyton smiled and met him halfway for a big hug.

"It's so good to see you Peyton. I see you went all New York on me with the short and sleek hair."

Peyton mockingly fluffed her hair. "I know. I'm so mature."

"Ahem" Brooke cleared her throat behind them.

"Hey Pretty Girl, you're as beautiful as always." Lucas genuinely smiled towards her.

Brooke stood her ground. "Peyton you are such a traitor."

"Knock it off Brooke." Peyton warned beneath her breath.

"No, I won't. Lucas you have three seconds to tell me why I shouldn't kick your ass for letting that slime into your apartment. I thought you of all people would protect Haley at all costs."

Lucas sat on a near by stool. "I heard what happened last night and I figured that's why you three stood me up, but you all have to understand I had no clue Nathan was even in New York, let alone on a mission to win back Haley."

Running over to him, Brooke covered his mouth with her hand. "Haley is in the other room and you are going to be a good boy and not mention the words _Nathan_, _mission_, or _winning back_ in her presence. Is that clear?" Brooke threatened in a hushed tone.

Nodding, Lucas couldn't help smiling beneath Brooke's hand. He had to admit seeing her so protective of Haley made him realize just how lucky Haley was to have her.

Taking her hand away, she smiled—satisfied with herself. "Good, now how can we put a stop to him?"

Looking over at Peyton, Lucas saw she had come to the same conclusion he had about Nathan, so with a deep breath he faced Brooke again. "There's no stopping him. When he showed up, I punched him in his face and then shoved everything he'd done to her and he still didn't flinch. He knows what he did and he knows how hard it's going to be, but he's not going away and I don't even think _'The Great Brooke Davis' _can stop him."

"You should have hit him harder." Brooke pouted as she sat down dejectedly on a stool next to him, then looked towards Haley's hallway. "Did he tell you he was moving in next door?"

"Yeah, last night. How was Haley after the run in?"

Pulling up another stool, Peyton joined them at the marble counter. "Um, let's just say denial is a very nice place for Haley right now."

"Well, I'm off to the store." A beaming looking Haley emerged. From the outside she was perfection, full, shiny, wavy hair, stylish skinny dark blue jeans, a tight black turtleneck, and matching black ballet flats. There wasn't a single flaw, but all three in the room knew she was doing everything she could to hide any cracks that lay beneath her flawless veneer after running smack dab into the biggest and most damaging ghost of her past.

"Look who's going all Audrey Hepburn today." Brooke looked her over, very impressed.

"You know I'm a stickler for old Hollywood." Haley posed. "I'm so glad you're here Luke." She walked over and squeezed him tightly.

"About last night Hales…" Lucas started.

"Oh, yeah I want to apologize for that. I should have called and said we weren't coming." She explained as she went about gathering her purse and Brooke's car keys. "Brooke, I'm taking your car, is that alright?"

"Of course, you know it's more all our car anyway. Just make sure you park it way away from the other cars. It doesn't like to be crowded. You know maybe I should go with you, you've never been alone with the baby before."

"Brooke, relax, I'll be fine and I'll even fill her up for you. Why don't you three catch up and when I get back we can all go to lunch. Play nice kiddies, while mommy goes to the store?" Haley looked pointedly at Brooke sensing her tension towards Lucas.

Lucas put his arm around Brooke and she gave Haley a tight smile. "We'll behave Mommy."

As soon as Haley walked out the door Brooke wormed her way out from Lucas's grasp. "You're lucky I love Haley so much or else you wouldn't have an arm anymore."

"Brooke, I said I was sorry about Nathan."

Crossing her arms at her chest, she looked him in the eyes. "I guess I just don't trust anyone with the last name Scott." She clarified for him, then proceeded to flop down on the sofa and grab the latest issue of Cosmo of the coffee table.

"Ouch." Lucas mumbled under his breath.

Peyton gave him a sympathetic smile and pulled him off the stool. "She'll come around, now how about I give you the grand tour."

"Sounds good." He accepted, after giving Brooke one last parting glance. He hoped Peyton was right because more than anything Lucas wanted to be apart of all their lives.

…

Walking outside, Haley noticed the moving van parked outside and figured that must have been what had distracted her roommates that morning.

Hopping up in the car, she adjusted the seat, slipped on her seat belt and started the engine. As soon as she pulled out, though, her cell began to ring. Groaning, she grabbed for her purse, but as usual, she forgot to zip it shut and her phone went tumbling to the floor beneath her feet.

Thankfully, there was no one behind her at the moment, so she broke in the middle of the road and tried to reach for her phone_. 'She was so damn tired of that Dashboard song Landon insisted she use,'_ she thought as she strained as far as her short arms would reach.

She had just clasped her tiny fingers around it, when she looked out of the passenger window and saw Nathan Scott with a box, in his arms, walking into the building that was located directly beside hers.

She froze, hunched over with her head down by the steering wheel, and her hand still clutching the phone on the ground. It had to be a nightmare, but then she saw him turn and start to look in her direction at the same time a car behind her honked.

Distracted, and scared from the honking behind her, her foot shifted and pressed down hard on the gas peddle, in a move to this day she could never explain.

Nathan watched as the silver Range Rover, he'd noticed just sitting in the middle of the street, slammed into the moving truck that had just pulled away from his new home. Running to the vehicle, his stomach dropped when he noticed an unconscious Haley slumped against the steering wheel.

Racing to the other side of the car he opened her door and tried to see if she was all right. "Hales! Hales, come on…talk to me." He sat her up, as slowly as possible, noticing a huge knot already forming on her forehead.

"Is the baby alright?" She mumbled, still a tad dazed.

"What baby? Oh shit Haley, please tell me you're not pregnant."

"It's Brooke's baby." She giggled, still out of it.

"Ok, now I hope you're not pregnant for a whole other set of reasons."

Haley hugged the steering wheel. "This is the baby, silly."

"Thank God," he blew out, relieved.

She turned and blinked a few times finally focussing on him. "Please tell me I'm dead and I'm just in hell."

He smirked and leaned over, undoing her belt. "Well, if you're dead than you're the hottest ghost I've ever seen, even with a hell of a bump on your head. Does anything else hurt except your head?"

"Nope, but the Devil keeps talking to me." She murmured and closed her eyes.

"Shit, Hales don't close your eyes."

"I'm sleepy." She whimpered softly.

"You probably have a concussion. But you have to keep talking to me. One of the movers called an ambulance, so just keep talking to me until they get here."

"I don't want to."

"I don't care."

"You're a mean Devil." She pouted, her eyes still closed.

In spite of the situation, he couldn't help but chuckle. "Hales, do you remember our first tutoring session? Do you remember telling me off?" He took a chance hoping that memory would spark a comeback.

Haley got a goofy smile on her face. "Math don't care and Math is sleepy."

He smiled. "That wasn't quite it, but close."

"OH MY GOD, MY BABY!" Brooke screeched and raced towards her car where she finally noticed and remembered Haley was.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO HER?" She shoved Nathan hard and out of the way.

Lucas and Peyton caught up.

"I don't know what happened. She was just sitting in the middle of the street, I didn't know it was her then, and all of a sudden her car accelerated and slammed into the moving van.

"Tutorgirl, are you ok?" Brooke frantically asked.

"I'm sorry I broke the baby Tigger."

Brooke laughed in relief. "Only you would get yourself hurt in order to get out of my wrath."

Just then the ambulance arrived and the EMT's jumped out. After backing everyone away they spent about three minutes looking Haley over and then one of them carried her to the ambulance.

"Is she going to be alright?" Nathan ran up to the one carrying her.

"Yeah, looks like she has a Grade two or three concussion and she'll need a CAT scan just to be on the safe side. But she's somewhat responsive so that's a good sign, although I'm not sure why she keeps saying '_The Devil_". But whoever kept her talking did the right thing."

"I'm going with her." Brooke informed the other EMT, completely disregarding that Nathan could have helped Haley in any possible way.

"We'll follow you." Peyton shouted to Brooke, who was already climbing in the ambulance with Haley and looking over the hot EMT.

"We can take my car." Nathan informed the other two, and ran to get his car.

…

Four hours later… 

"You know, you would think they'd have more colorful hospital gowns." Brooke frowned disapprovingly at Haley's attire as she hopped up on the bed with her.

"Why don't you go complain to someone? I'm sure they will put it at the top of their priority list." Peyton piped up sarcastically from a chair on the other side of Haley.

"Hmm, I just might do that. By the way, where the hell is Lucas?"

Haley giggled. "Is the ice queen thawing out finally?"

"I only care because he's bringing the food." Brooke clarified.

"You know you're warming up to me Pretty Girl." Lucas announced as he walked in, arms full of food and cans of coke.

Jumping up Brooke grabbed a diet coke out of his hand. "Ok maybe just a little, only because I might believe you about the whole Nathan returning from the dead crap." She waved her head towards the door.

"Is he still out there Lucas?" Haley asked, after Brooke brought him up.

Lucas nodded yes as he took the to-go boxes out of the bag he was carrying. "He refuses to leave until you do."

"What a stubborn drama queen." Brooke snitted, as she swiped the chicken salad container out of Lucas's hands.

Peyton snorted as she sat down next to Brooke at the small table in the room. "People in glass houses should not throw stones…"

Brooke looked up at Peyton, slightly confused, but hunger got the best of her and she decided to not delve into why that should offend her.

"Scoot over." Lucas instructed as he took off his jacket and climbed onto the bed with Haley.

"You know, this bed isn't half bad. You want me to spend the night with you Hales?"

"They won't let us. Brooke already threw a hissy fit with the nursing staff." Peyton divulged before taking a big bite out of her tuna fish sandwich.

"That one nurse was such a bitch. I mean Haley could be dying, but God forbid they let us be with us when she goes,"

"Brooke, I'm not dying, I have a concussion and I can go home in the morning."

"Let us worry, Hales. It's what we do best." Lucas remarked and moved to get more comfortable.

Instead of making a sarcastic comment, Haley let him put his arm around her and snuggled into him. She needed the comfort, even if she couldn't express it. It wasn't so much the accident that had shaking her up as knowing Nathan was only a few feet away. She had tried so hard to live in denial and not obsess what his presence might mean, but she was never one for that mindset.

Brooke and Peyton could set up permanent residence in the land of denial, sipping alcoholic drinks and letting everything else disappear, but ever since she could remember she'd obsessed, analyzed, and worried over anything and everything. Her mother said it was because she always wanted to be prepared for everything life could throw at her, but the catch was that life was unexpected and that even if she ran every possible scenario in her head, life would always find one she never saw coming.

With Nathan coming back, life had done just that. In a million years she never expected he would appear in her life again, but maybe that was her mind's way of protecting her heart. If she never imagined the possibility, she never had to imagine the pain.

Taking a deep breath, she pushed down the pain that was threatening to overwhelm her. She could never let herself feel it again…_never_.

…

"Uh, hey man is this Haley James's room?" A tall blonde and way too tan man asked Nathan. He looked like he should be surfing on a beach in California rather than being in New York in the winter.

"Yeah it is." Nathan answered as he stood to face the man, smiling when he realized he was at least a few inches taller than surfer boy.

Landon looked him over. "Do I know you?"

Nathan just smirked. "Nope, you've never had the pleasure, I'm Nathan Scott." He stuck his hand out.

Hesitantly, Landon shook it. "I'm Landon Ryder…Haley's boyfriend." He added at the end with a grin.

Just when Nathan was about to say _'Not for long'_, Brooke flung open the door, interrupting what was becoming a tense conversation. "Landon you're here!"

"Is she awake? Is she alright?" Landon threw question after question at Brooke, completely ignoring the man he'd been talking to just a second before.

"She's fine, come see for yourself." She assured him in, following closely behind him, and completely ignoring Nathan and slamming the door in his face.

Catching a quick view, he saw Lucas in bed holding Haley and again jealousy coursed through him. His brother got to hold her, comfort her, and just _be_ there for her, while he was on the outside looking in. But he only had himself to blame…he just had to keep reminding himself of that.

"Nathan?"

Turning back to the door he saw Peyton had emerged. "You here to tell me to stay the hell away from her too?"

Rolling her eyes, she took a seat in one of the blue plastic chairs and motioned for him to join her. "You've always been so damn defensive."

"Just add it to the list of my many faults." He threw back and took a seat.

Together they sat in silence watching medical staff pass them by. It wasn't till a good five minutes later Peyton finally spoke up.

"You know she won't forgive you just because Dan played a part."

Nathan kept staring straight ahead; he had no energy to be shocked by anything Peyton had to say. "How did you know?"

"Because I know you Nathan and I know how fiercely you loved and still love Haley. Besides, I remember the hell your father put you and Lucas through over the years. So, I figured the only way you could ever leave Haley was if Dan somehow had you by the cross hairs."

"How do you know I just didn't get scared?"

Peyton sighed. "Because I, of all people, know you can be the biggest prick on the planet, but not with Haley. She's the only person in this entire world that has the ability to bring you to your knees and have you begging for more. You'd never let that go, not unless you thought you had no choice."

"I didn't think I did."

Peyton got up and stood in front of him. "You did have a choice Nathan, because the one thing you didn't take into consideration was that Haley felt the same for you. You didn't trust in her love for you and you made a decision for her that you had no right to make. I think deep inside you were so terrified of unconsciously becoming your father one day and that fear allowed you to be susceptible to your father's twisted maneuvers." She paused to catch her breath and noticed Nathan was starting to look a bit beat down.

"Look, all I'm saying is don't expect, that if you reveal the Dan angle, she will welcome you back with open arms."

"I don't." Nathan quickly defended.

"I think on some level you might have hoped, but as stubborn as you and I both are, Haley gives us both a run for our money. She's doesn't trust, Nathan and that's mainly because of you, but at the same time I think you may be the only guy to ever get her to truly trust again. It won't be easy, though, you broke her, Nathan, and she's never been the same. To be honest, I don't know if those scars will ever completely heal. So, I need you to promise me that if you are going to reopen all these old wounds you are prepared to deal with how hard it will be to close them back up once and for all."

Looking straight into her eyes, he did something he never had with Peyton before…made a promise he knew would keep. "I promise Peyton."

Satisfied, she made a move to go back to the room.

"Why are you doing this Peyton? I thought you of all people would be plotting my death."

His words stopped her at the door to Haley's room. "Let's just say I remember life before either of us met Haley James and the other Scott and I wouldn't wish that on anyone, not even you." She gave him a kind, parting smile and disappeared back into the room.

She was right…_without Haley_…where would any of them be?

Flashback… 

"_Can you believe we graduated?" Brooke Davis yelled as she ran up to the group that was sitting around a bonfire on the beach._

"_I can't believe you graduated." Peyton joked and received a hard slap on the arm from the brunette._

_Nathan wrapped his arms tighter around Haley's waist, enjoying his position behind her on the sand. Leaning down he kissed the top of her head. "I can't believe it's two am and Brooke won't stop repeating that._

_Brooke stuck her tongue out at Nathan. "You better be nice, after all it is my mission to make sure Haley makes it down the aisle in two weeks."_

"_It's my mission too." Peyton corrected her as she continued to draw on her pad by the light of the fire._

_Sensing another fight about who was actually the official maid of honor Haley changed the subject to something she couldn't get past. "I can't believe this is one of the last times we'll all be like this."_

"_Nathan, stop her right now before she starts crying again." Lucas laughed from his place on the other side of Haley._

_Defying Lucas, Haley continued. "Seriously who could have ever imagined two years ago we'd all be sitting here like this and have become inseparable? It just makes me sad it's going to end."_

_Leaning down, Nathan stopped her rambling with a searing kiss that soon turned into a full-blown make-out session._

"_Oh jeez… stop that" Lucas groaned loudly as he covered his eyes._

_Tearing his lips away from Haley's Nathan smirked to his brother. "You told me to stop her."_

_Giggling Brooke tried to peak over at Peyton's drawing. "What depressing thing are you drawing now?_

_Peyton put the pad to her chest to hide it. "None of you business. Go back to slutting up the ocean again." She shooed Brooke away._

"_I can't, apparently even the hot drunk lifeguards think I'm too intoxicate to play in the water anymore."_

_For the next few minutes they all sat there just staring at the fire before them, listening to the waved crashing, and enjoying what would be one of their last times on this beach for awhile. _

_Without anyone noticing, Haley snuck her hand behind her and squeezed Nathan somewhere she knew would get him to sense she was ready to end this night on an even better note._

"_Alright guys, we're heading off to bed." Nathan stood abruptly, bringing Haley up with him, and keeping her in front of him to hide his obvious excitement._

_Lucas cringed. "Only if you promise to lock your bedroom door this time."_

_Haley blushed and Nathan laughed. "Hey man, wasn't my fault you came barging into our room."_

"_I heard Haley screaming." Lucas defended, but realized how stupid he sounded._

"_Oh, Broody, I know it's been a long time, but Daddy making Mommy scream is a good thing." Brooke patted him on the head._

"_A very good thing." Nathan smirked and kissed Haley's neck._

"_Ew, please stop that. Damn, but don't forget you said you wanted to go running in the morning."_

"_Hey, I'm game, but I can't promise Haley won't jump me in the shower." He winked to his brother enjoying riling him up._

…

"_It's way too damn early." Nathan bitched as he made his way down the stairs of the beach house._

"_And good morning to you too." Peyton bitched back after being awakened by his stomping down the stairs._

_Going to the fridge, Nathan opened it to grab some orange juice. "Sorry." He mumbled before gulping down what was left in the container._

_Grumbling, Peyton turned and buried her face in the couch cushions and pulled the blanket higher over her—knocking her sketchpad off the arm of the couch closest to Nathan._

_Feeling like a nice guy, for a second, he walked over and picked it up off the floor. Tossing it on the coffee table, he was about to go yell for Lucas to hurry his ass up when something on the pad caught his eye._

_Getting closer, he could see the drawing a lot clearer. The bottom half of the page was covered with orange and red flames, but when you looked closely you could see three people consumed within the flames with their arms reaching up. One was clearly Peyton with the blonde curls, the other was Brooke with heavy eye make-up on, and then there was a guy that looked a hell of a lot like him. Above them were clouds with two people sitting at a lunch table that he recognized to be from their high school's quad. It was Haley and Lucas in a position he, and he was sure Peyton, had seen them in almost everyday before they had even got to know them. They looked so happy and carefree above the flames and you could tell the people in the fire were reaching out to be a part of it and written in one of the clouds was the word 'Salvation'._

_He'd never been one to ever appreciate anything Peyton drew, but this one he couldn't stop staring at._

"_I'll make you a copy if you go the hell away. You breathe way too loudly" Peyton mumbled, underneath the blanket._

"_Kiss my ass, but thanks." He grinned and then went off in search of his brother._

_End of Flashback…_

"Sir?" A nurse shook a sleeping Nathan.

"Uh, yeah?" He woke up, trying to still get his bearings.

"The patient would like to see you now, but make it fast it's past visiting hours."

Glancing at his watch, Nathan saw it was almost midnight. Lucas, the girls, and surfer boy had left around nine and he figured he must have been passed out for an hour.

"Are you sure she wants to see me?" He asked the women, clearly confused and hoping he wasn't dreaming.

She glared at him, annoyed. "Look, I'm a nurse not a secretary, but I think I can accurately deliver a message." She quipped and quickly made an exit when her pager went off.

Turning the knob, Nathan pushed open the door and found Haley serenely gazing out her window into the starry night.

"Are you going to come in or just keep staring?" Her voice called out.

Carefully he approached her bedside. "Are you feeling better?" He figured small talk was the safest place to start.

"Why are you here?" She turned and looked directly at him.

"Because you're in the hospital."

She was not amused. "I mean here, in New York. "

"Right to the point, huh?"

"Spit it out Nathan." Haley said, not in the mood for his bullshit.

"I want you back."

Staring at him, Haley could see the determination in his eyes and it scared her, but she wouldn't show it. "Why?"

"Because I'm still in love with you." He answered without hesitation.

Her determined stare never wavered. "I'm not the same naïve girl you _supposedly_ fell in love with in high school, you destroyed that girl and you have to live with that. So, I don't know what kind of sick game you're playing, but I won't fall for it or you ever again."

Nathan wouldn't be deterred. He knew it was only going to get worse before it ever got better. "You know maybe if I was a selfless guy I would walk away, right here and right now, but I'm not and if I was, you wouldn't have fallen for me all those years ago."

"That was the biggest mistake of my life."

Her words stung, but he knew he had to look past them. "I know I've hurt you beyond belief and I know this isn't the time to hash it all out, but I just wanted you to know leaving you was the biggest mistake of _my_ life."

Not ready to even remotely let herself relive anything, she pushed on with her original set of questions. "Is it true you really are moving in next door?"

"I officially moved in today and my door is always open." He smirked, not being able to help it.

"I don't know what you expect to accomplish Nathan. It's never going to happen, because I'm over you and have been for a long time." She spoke with the utmost conviction, but her eyes told him a different story.

Grinning, he picked up her hand and kissed it softly. "Then you have nothing to worry about."

She jerked her hand away. "Get the hell out!"

Backing away, he smiled when he saw the fire in her eyes, where indifference had once laid. That was all he needed to know without a doubt he was doing the right thing. "It's still there Haley…I know it is and I won't give up until you see it too."

With that promise he was quickly out the door.

Picking up a plastic water pitcher, Haley flung it at the closed door—crying out in frustration.

_Who the hell did he think he was?_ Her life was perfect, she had moved on and no one, especially _him_, was going to convince her otherwise.

* * *

Cath 


	5. Card House Dreamer

**Author's Note**: Again, I don't know why I can't stop writing this story, but oh well. LOL I hope you guys enjoy this and Chapter 6 is halfway done and I promise you that YOU DON"T WANT TO MISS IT!

Thanks to Maggie, for maggyfing this chapter so brilliantly, it really needed it. Love you!

**Chapter Five "Card House Dreamer"**  


_I was a fool, I never saw it coming.  
Oh no, no.  
My life is like a card house.  
A delicate construction  
With no regard for the wind.  
_

_I put so much of myself in everything else.  
Yeah in everything else.  
It was a dream come seemingly true.  
Torn at the seams revealing a nightmare. _

I thought I had everything under control.  
I couldn't have been more wrong.  
I thought I held my world in my hands.  
Until it broke and I awoke from this foolish dream

**This Providence**

"I've never seen such an odd combination of flowers." Brooke deduced out loud as she walked into Haley's room.

"Don't knock my favorite flowers, but as usual I'm sending them back." Haley yelled out to Brooke from inside her closet.

Bending down, Brooke inhaled the scent of white lilies and purple daisies. "Haley, everyday you send them back and everyday more and more just keep coming. Just let him have this victory and keep them for once. That way the damn delivery truck will quit waking me up," the brunette pouted at the interruption of her beauty rest.

Walking out in a light pink, scooped-necked, cashmere sweater dress over gray leggings, that was paired with silver pumps, Haley simply ignored Brooke's warning. "I'm not keeping them Brooke, end of story."

"Fine whatever. Anyway, are you sure you should be going out today? I mean I know that hideous bump is pretty much gone, but the doctor said to take it easy." Brooke said as she stepped closer to Haley, trying to eye her appearance and make sure she was fit to venture out alone.

Haley brushed Brooke away and grabbed a simple black hairpin, pulling her long locks up in quick loose French twist. "I have been stuck indoors for over five days. Besides, I'm just running to the store to get the groceries you and Peyton couldn't get while I was stuck in bed," She glared. "And then I'm meeting Landon for dinner."

"Hey it was your turn to go," the brunette squeaked, "and Peyton and I are just lazy enough to go hungry until you were capable. Oh and don't forget…no sex Haley-Baley." Brooke sing-songed as she dabbed Haley's neck with the Chanel No. 5 elixir she'd been playing with.

"I never thought I would ever hear the words 'No' and 'Sex' in the same sentence coming from your mouth," Haley teased.

Brooke feigned shock with her hand against her heart. "How dare you. I'm as pure as the driven slush."

Haley laughed lightly as she slipped on her favorite diamond stud earrings that Lucas had sent her for her twenty-first birthday, "And I wouldn't love you any other way."

…

Grabbing a shopping cart, Haley aimlessly began to push it towards the fresh produce section of the grocery store. Biting her lower lip in contemplation, she finally decided cucumbers sounded refreshing for a change and began the task of finding a couple of suitable specimens. As she picked up a particularly large one, she sensed someone coming into her personal space from behind but didn't bother turning around to see who the new arrival was.

"I see you're missing me." Nathan remarked as he suggestively eyed the very large cucumber in her hand.

Feeling her stomach tighten with anxiety, she turned slowly with a controlled tight smile on her face, which she hoped revealed her only to be calm, cool and collected.

She placed the cucumber into his hand. "Here, go love the one you're with," she smirked as she turning her buggy on its wheels and huffed away.

"Ah, I knew you couldn't resist talking to me!" He smugly called after her retreating form as he pushed his cart faster in order to catch up.

Trying to get away from him, she ventured towards the cereal aisle, deciding fresh fruit and veggies could wait. Locating her favorite cereal, plain Cheerios, she was perturbed to discover it was on the very top shelf. The world just had to be against her, usually only the cereals that tasted like cardboard were that high up.

"Need some help?" Nathan looked up knowing what exact cereal she wanted and loved that there was no way she'd be able to reach it without help.

Reaching up, she jumped in vain to get closer, and blew out a puff of frustrated air when she resigned herself to the fact there was no way in hell she was going to going to get it down. Looking around, she desperately tried to find another man or at least a tall woman that could maybe help her out—but there was no one—and with the way her luck was going she shouldn't have even expected there to be. It seemed like Nathan was the only person around whenever she needed assistance lately.

Barely raising his arm, Nathan snatched the cereal off the shelf and held it out to her.

Crossing her arms over her chest, she turned her nose up at it, refusing to even lift an arm to accept anything from him, despite how much she was suddenly craving the cereal. "I don't want it."

"Haley, it's just cereal, take it."

Turning on her heels she began to look for anything on her level that would interest her.

Coming up to her, cart Nathan tossed it in, along with a bottle of honey he knew she required on her cereal and in her tea at all times. He asked her once why she just didn't buy the Honey Nut Cheerios and she looked at him like he'd lost his mind and then proceeded to spend ten minutes explaining the difference between fake honey flavor and the real deal.

"You are such an ass."

He laughed and followed her to the next aisle. "So, I'm an ass because I so graciously got the cereal and honey down that I knew you couldn't reach?"

"No, you're an ass simply because your breathing," she blew out flustered as she began to toss random items into her cart, his eyes following her all the while. "I just want you to disappear," she muttered, briefly closing her eyes, and willing away his presence. To her dismay, he was still standing in front of her when they opened, smirking in that famous Scott manner. _'God, what an ass.'_

"Don't forget the pasta for your famous Mac' and Cheese." He pointed out as she zipped past it the pasta section.

Stomping her foot, she turned around and shoved her cart towards him. "If you think you know so god damn much about me, then you can do the shopping." She snapped, not being able to spend another second in his presence.

He shouldn't have been turned on by her outburst, but he couldn't help it. Watching her get all worked up just got his blood flowing. That girl's passion knew no bounds and whether it was being used to scream at him or make him scream her name in the throes of ecstasy, he couldn't get enough of it.

Most people only got to see her passion in the way she worked or cared about others, but he was lucky enough to see all the sides, and every fiber of his being craved to see them all again.

_An hour later…_

When Landon finally walked into the restaurant, she immediately jumped into his arms. "I've missed you!" She beamed up to him.

"Wow, what did I do to deserve this greeting?" He said, as she lingered in his arms, happy if not confused by her overt affection.

She kissed his lips quickly. "For being you…now make me forget everything."

He glanced at the half empty bottle of wine on the table. "Seems you've already had a little help in that category."

Giggling she pulled him down into the circular booth with her, and scooted him to the middle, curling up right beside him. It was her favorite spot in the cozy Italian restaurant, because she loved to people watch and this booth offered the perfect view.

"Well, I came here early and started a little early." She happily explained and kissed him once more, hoping the presence of him and her delicious wine would erase the previous few hours. She was determined now more than ever to appreciate the man currently in her life, and block out the past completely.

Not one to question her change in mood, he just went with the flow. She'd practically ignored him for the last week, only letting him visit her once. He chalked it up to her injury, at first, but lately he couldn't' shake the feeling that something more serious was going on with her. She'd been incredibly distant, so much so that he thought she was about to break it off with him, but then she called him this morning wanting to go out that night and she finally sounded like her old self again. He couldn't explain it, but as long as she was acting normal again, that's all that mattered.

"I'm starving." Haley exclaimed as she peered over the menu—the one she practically already had memorized—but she couldn't let go of the routine of examining a menu.

Landon was just about to echo her sentiments when he spotted someone coming directly towards him that looked very familiar. "Isn't that the guy I saw waiting outside your room?"

Turning slightly, Haley was horrified to see Nathan steadily approaching their table with a shit-eating grin on his face. If there was anyone that could sober her up right now, it was him.

"Well, isn't this a small world." Nathan smiled to the pair as he nonchalantly sidled into the booth with them, not waiting for an invitation.

"Yes, and it seems to be getting smaller and smaller every day." Haley grumbled to herself, though she knew Nathan heard her. She hated that even as he sat a couple feet away, she could feel him next to her.

Placing his hand on her shoulder, Nathan put his focus towards Landon, cocky smile adorning his face. "So, Lance, I hate to intrude, but my table isn't ready, do you mind?" Nathan knew that this guy was ticking at the intrusion, but he was amused by his attempt at making nice.

Landon eyes him warily, but conceded "Um, I guess not man and my name is Landon by the way."

"My bad." He smugly replied, shaking the guy's hand firmly.

Just then, Landon's Blackberry went off. Taking it out of his pocket, he saw it was from one of the bigwigs at Maverick. "It's Leo, Haley, I have to get this. I'll be right back." He stood and kissed her cheek

"And then there were two." Nathan grinned triumphantly towards her.

Checking to make sure Landon was definitely out of earshot, Haley turned enraged eyes on Nathan. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" she gritted out.

"What?" Nathan asked innocently and put his arm around her shoulders pulling her closer.

"Leave now Nathan, or I swear to God..."

"Sorry Hales no can do." he winked. "So, apparently surfer boy doesn't know who I am."

He was so close, and she could smell his aftershave, the one that he obviously hadn't changed since high school. In an instant it brought her back to all those times she'd wear his shirts to bed, just so she could smell him on her when they couldn't spend an entire night together. "My past has nothing to do with my future Nathan." She finally grit out, once she was able to shut out the memories.

Reaching out, Nathan tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, his heart aching when he felt her flinch. "It has everything to do with it." He whispered as if it was a secret he only wanted her to hear.

Breaking eye contact, Haley took a large sip of her wine—praying the alcohol would wash away the touch of his fingers against his skin.

"Did I miss anything?" An apprehensive looking Landon questioned as he sat back down at the table.

"Nothing, except me trying to steal your girl." Nathan jabbed playfully, but his smirk was anything but teasing.

"Funny." Landon deadpanned. "So, how do you two know each other anyway?"

Turning to give Haley a eager smile, Nathan decided to answer. "Well, I'm Lucas' brother and I went to high school with Haley."

Haley breathed a sigh of relief, but she would soon find out it was premature.

"So, you two never…" Landon eluded as gently as his self-restraint allowed.

Nathan shook his head. "Nah, I wasn't lucky enough, but there was this one guy…what was his name?" He turned and looked at Haley questionably.

"I don't remember." She mumbled and took another large sip of her wine, averting her eyes.

"Ah Hales, I find it hard to believe you don't remember the man that you dated for two years."

Landon looked over to Haley with a shocked expression. "Damn, Haley I never knew you to date a guy longer than two months, hell it took me three months just to convince you to give me a chance. I thought you were just born commitment phobic."

"Let's just say I learn from my past mistakes." She pointedly turned to Nathan.

Nathan gave her a wink in response. "Maybe he was a mistake, but there was no denying you two were hot and heavy. You guys were always together and always all over each other. I even remember this one time you were caught going at it on the basketball coach's desk by the coach himself. Damn, the whole school needed a cigarette after that story hit the halls the next day."

Glancing at Haley, Landon could tell she was uncomfortable, but he couldn't help but be intrigued by this part of Haley's life she had excluded him from. He never knew her to be that carefree and unguarded. "So, was it the typical boy meets girl story?"

"Actually, they were anything but typical. In fact, if I recall he went after her to get even with ...uh… this…_guy_ he hated, who was actually his rival Lucas." He had almost blown it, but the blank look on surfer boy's face told him the idiot still had no clue.

Landon quirked an eyebrow at Haley. "Wait, I thought Lucas and you were just friends."

"We were, but um…I was Lucas' best friend and the ass wanted to hurt someone close to him." Haley stuttered a little. This story was making her way too uncomfortable. Damn Nathan.

Filling Haley's, now empty wineglass back up, Nathan nodded in agreement. "Yeah he did, but then the tables turned and he fell hopelessly in love with you and you changed him. You even did the impossible and got Lucas and him to be actual friends. Isn't that right?" He stared into her eyes, challenging her to remember.

Biting her lower lip, Haley turned away from Nathan—trying not to let the memories overwhelm her that she saw swimming in his eyes.

_Flashback_…

_Opening the door, Haley found her new boyfriend smirking before her._

"_You know Hales, the front door is nice, but sneaking into your bed is a lot more fun," he declared with a grin as he leaned down to capture her lips in a tender kiss that escalated before she even had time to object._

"_Get the hell off her! She's not some whore you can just maul." Lucas demanded as he came charging into the room from the kitchen._

_Nathan reluctantly tore his lips away from Haley's and faced his brother's hard stare. "She's with me now Lucas…get used to it or get lost."_

"_Let me tell you something Nate…" Lucas started as he quickly approached his brother._

_Haley put herself directly between them. "Just stop it please!"_

_Lucas yanked Haley closer to him. "I'll stop it as soon as you see the light and stay the hell away from this privileged asshole."_

_Nathan yanked at Haley's other arm. "Go squint to someone who gives a shit Lucas, Haley chose me."_

_Lucas took hold of her other arm again and soon both brothers were pulling Haley mercilessly from both sides._

_Not being able to stand it anymore, Haley wrenched her arms away from them and stepped out of their reach. "I can't do this anymore. Lucas, all I ever wanted for you was happiness and I thought you felt the same, but lately it seems your selfish pride matters more than what makes me happy. Why can't you accept what I want and support me? Why can't you trust in what my heart is telling me?"_

"_Damn straight." Nathan smugly piped in._

_Haley whipped around and took aim at Nathan. "And you. I told you from the start if you ever hurt Lucas again it was over. Lucas is important to me and if you can't accept that than you aren't the guy I thought I was falling for. "_

_She walked to the still open front door. "I really wanted to make this work between all of us, not just for me, but for you both because it sickens me that you two can't see the gift you have in each other. So, you can continue to fight this war, but you both are going to have to do it without me because I'm done." She swore without an ounce of hesitation in her voice and slammed the door behind her._

…

"_What makes you think you know where she is anyway?" Nathan bitched as he followed his brother down the familiar streets of Tree Hill._

"_Just because you know her physically doesn't mean you know her more intimately than me." Lucas grumbled as he walked beside Nathan as they turned the corner and his mother's café came into view._

"_I guess you're right." Nathan quietly admitted, though it left a sour taste in his mouth._

_Lucas opened the door to his mother's café. "I never thought I'd live to hear you say those words." _

"_Look, we need to make this work because I can't lose her Lucas." Nathan admitted begrudgingly._

_Stopping in his tracks, Lucas turned back to face his brother. "Why?"_

"_What do you mean' why'?"_

"_I mean why can't you lose her?"_

_Shifting a little Nathan cleared his throat nervously. "Look man, I'm not into all this sensitive stuff and I really don't think you deserve to hear my reasons."_

"_If you want this to work then I need to hear them." Lucas leaned against the counter expectantly._

_Sighing, Nathan sat down at a near by table. "I can't really explain it. I mean I've only known her for a few weeks and…it's like she's the first person ever in my life I feel I can be myself with. I mean she's gorgeous and has an amazing body…"_

_Lucas held up his hand. "Watch it."_

_Nathan chuckled. "Calm the hell down. All I'm saying is that it's beyond physical with her. She's just everything I never knew I wanted… if that makes sense." He paused to try to find his words. " It scares me how much I need her already. You may think I had everything growing up, but you were the one that had it all because you had Haley."_

_Lucas was stunned. For the first time in his life he saw past the exterior of Nathan Scott and saw there was actually something real beneath the surface. He shouldn't be surprised though; Haley always had the amazing ability to bring out the good in anybody._

_Knowing he had no choice if he wanted to keep Haley in his life, Lucas conceded. "Just make sure you never forget that."_

_Nathan nodded in understanding. " So…um…how do we do this?" He stood and looked around uncomfortably, not quite at ease with being in Lucas's domain._

"_I guess try not to beat the hell out of each other every time we're in the same room." Lucas joked, but they both knew it wasn't that far from the truth._

…

_Haley lightly hit the bright purple ball with the golf club and watched it swirl around the hole before finally going in._

"_Nice shot Hales." Lucas complimented, once he and Nathan made it to the roof top._

"_Nice view too." Nathan added, from his spot beside his brother, as he watched his girlfriend bend over to retrieve her ball._

_Haley put her hand on her hip and turned to face them. "You know I have a weapon so you both better be acting over the age of five now."_

"_We called a truce Hales…scouts honor." Lucas held up two fingers showing the official Boy Scout's sign._

_She gave a disbelieving look to Nathan. "Is this true."_

_Walking up to her, he took her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it softly. "Anything for you."_

_Lucas watched his best friend blush and giggle softly. She was falling in love with his brother and while it still scared the hell out of him, he had to admit he'd never seen her this happy. _

"_Hey, I'm going to get out here and give you guys some alone time." He offered and began to walk back to the door._

_Haley was about to protest, but Nathan surprisingly beat her to it. "Are you that afraid I'm going to kick your ass in putt-putt you have to make up excuses?"_

_Glancing back at them, he saw the hopeful look on Haley's face and just like he was sure Nathan was realizing, a Scott could never say no to Haley James. "Just grab a club and prepare for both Hales and I to dominate you."_

_It was a night none of them would ever forget. For Lucas and Nathan it was the first time they actually let their walls, built by their parent's past, down, but for Haley it was the first time she realized that even if she and Nathan didn't make it, she would never regret taking a chance with her heart. Because no matter what it brought two brothers together, even if it was just for one night._

_End Of Flashback…_

Strolling into the restaurant, Lucas couldn't believe his eyes and quickly made his way over to his brother and best friend.

"Nathan, what do you think you're doing?"

"Thank God!" Haley exclaimed once she saw Lucas or in this case her savior, in front of her.

Rolling his eyes, at his brother's pissed off expression, Nathan made his way out of the booth. "Would you lay off." He muttered through a crooked smile.

"We'll let you guys enjoy your dinner." Lucas grabbed his brother's arm and dragged him to the only open booth directly across from Haley and Landon, but at least there was about ten feet in between.

Landon shook his head, and then grabbed Haley's hand, intertwining their finger. "That was odd."

"Yeah, sorry about that. Nathan's just…I don't know what Nathan is. Let's just ignore him and enjoy our night." Haley pecked his lips.

Not wanting to let the moment go; Landon pulled her in for a deeper kiss that was quickly interrupted by the sound of a crashing plate.

Following the sound of the noise, Haley found a very pleased looking Nathan and a broken plate on the floor in front of his table.

"Shit Haley!" Landon tore his hand away from hers, his face twisted in pain.

"What?" She bit out annoyed and then noticed she had dug her nails into his hand and left some propionate marks. "Oh, Landon, I'm sorry." Her voice turned apologetic as she grabbed his hand to assess the damage.

"It's alright, let's just order."

A half-hour and one very silent meal later, Landon finally was fed up. She had barely said two words after the Scott brothers had found their own table. Then he kept catching the dark haired one blatantly leering at Haley with that damn smirk on his face and the other one looking at Haley as if she was going to fall into a million pieces.

"What the hell is going on Haley? You have been acting so weird every since both those guys came back into your life, actually you, Brooke, and Peyton have. I can't help you if you won't talk to me."

She knew she should confess everything to him about Nathan and her past, but the simple fact was she just didn't want to. In truth, she never let any of the guys she dated in on her past, because if she did then she would have to admit how big a part of her life Nathan was. There would be no way to hold the memories at bay and the endless cycle of comparing every man to Nathan would begin. Besides, as much as she hated him, she could never bash Nathan to a new love interest, it was like she was incapable of it, and she had no idea why.

Still, as she stole a quick glance at Nathan and then back at Landon, she feared that maybe she was just deluding herself. Before, it was easy to keep her past a secret, because that's where her past was—in the past, but now he was sitting ten feet away from her, living next door to her, and popping up everywhere she went. _How can you escape the past, when it has invaded every element of your present?_

The ringing of Landon's blackberry saved her from having to respond. "Answer." She urged when she noticed it was Leo again.

Begrudgingly, he did as she said, and after a brief but tense call he gave her an apologetic look. "Haley, they screwed up the contracts with that new band we signed and I have to go calm the waters."

"It's fine Landon, I'm a little tired anyway." She brushed him off, not even offering a kiss goodbye.

He stood to leave, but he couldn't end the night on a bad note with her.. "I think we both need a much needed break from the city. How about we go away to my cabin this weekend?"

A break from the city and Nathan was definitely what she needed. "That sounds amazing." She agreed with a reassuring smile that she knew he needed so that he would stop worrying.

"Alright, I'll pick you up tomorrow around three. It's only about an hour drive, but I want to leave before the traffic out of the city gets to heavy."

Waving him off, she watched as he paid the check and breezed out of the restaurant doors.

Dragging herself out of the booth, she suddenly started to feel the effects of the alcohol once again and stumbled a bit as she got up on her feet.

Noticing her wobble a bit, both Scotts were at her side in the blink of an eye.

Aggravated, she spun away from them both. "You two try walking in four inch heels and see how well you walk. I'm twenty-three years old, I don't need a night and shining armor anymore." She defiantly spoke and waltzed out of the restaurant with them following closely behind.

Stopping in the middle of the street, she suddenly whipped around to face both brothers. Sighing heavily and gave them both long looks. "I'm glad you two are reconnecting, even if it is at my expense."

"Hales, if this is hurting you too much." Lucas added quickly, not sure what her—out of nowhere—declaration meant for his relationship with her.

Smiling warmly, she took his hand in hers. "I will always regret shutting you out because of _him_ Lucas. It wasn't fair to you and it hurt me more in the long run."

"Are you here for good?" She turned her sparkling eyes on Nathan.

"Yeah, I am." He answered—his voice full of conviction.

Without a doubt, she knew he was telling the truth, she could always tell with him. "Good, because brothers should be together."

"Hales, have I ever told you how amazing you are?" Lucas chuckled as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

She leaned into him. "Just about a million times, but I never get tied of hearing it."

Gazing out to the street Lucas spotted a cab in the distance. "Let me grab a cab for you. "

"Thanks." She grinned and then turned back to face Nathan. "This doesn't mean a thing Nathan. I still hate you," she spat, but her words held less conviction than she would have liked.

"And I still love you." He threw back, but if it affected her, she didn't show it.

"Don't mess this chance up with Lucas and please try to just stay away from me." she sighed at him, knowing that his prescience in her life was now a permanent one, no matter how unwanted it may be.

"I did for five years I can't do that anymore."

Her heart clenched at his words. "That was your choice Nathan."

"You don't know everything Haley." He evasively promised.

She rolled her eyes. "I know, all I need to know."

He knew this was going to be hard, but she was killing him. "How the hell can you support Lucas forgiving me, but not even try to give me the slightest chance of being a part of you life?"

"Because I don't want to." She stated defiantly with a child like stubbornness, knowing she was provoking him, but not being able to stop herself.

"Oh, that's mature."

"You're such a dick." She fumed, her face flushed with anger.

Stepping up at just the right moment to save his brother for making what he was sure was a asinine remark, Lucas took Haley's arm and pulled her towards the waiting cab

"Why am I being dragged away, he started it," she pouted.

Lucas helped her into the cab. "Hales, you know by egging him on you are only helping his cause, besides, I can't move him if I tried," he attempted to joke.

She knew he was right, but ignoring Nathan was getting harder and harder everyday. She used to pride herself on her strong will, but lately she was wondering how much more she could take.

Two weeks ago, she thought she knew what her life was about and what her future would be. Nathan didn't fit into her plans, she had resolved herself to the fact he didn't love her and she had built a new life for herself with that knowledge, but now the foundation of her life was crumbling and revealing nothing but questions in it's wake.

She didn't want answers though, she wanted her life back, her life before Nathan reentered the picture, but deep inside she knew that ever since that day in Lucas's apartment nothing was ever going to be the same. Because just like five years ago Nathan Scott had intervened and in one fell swoop had altered everything she thought she knew.

"Get some sleep, Hales." Lucas kissed her cheek and shut the door, signaling the driver to go.

"Do you enjoy pissing her off?" Lucas asked out loud as he stared after the taxi.

Nathan came up beside him and looked off into the distance with him. "Right now, it's all I have."

His words weren't arrogant, far from it. They were filled with pain, and Lucas knew that while a part of Nathan may be enjoying knowing he was getting under her skin, the bigger part was aching to know that he was still in her heart.

* * *

Cath 


	6. Through The Dark

**Author's Note:** All right, I had planned more for this chapter, but it ran very long so I decided to seperate it. So while the end of this chapter has a twist, the next chapter is the real one you won't want to miss. ;) Thanks again for all your reviews and I'm already busy at getting the second part up ASAP.

I want to thank Hana for doing such an incredible job beta-ing for me!! You are such a sweetie!!

Now this chapter is dedicated to two specific people. To Jess who is going into surgery tomorrow, I love you and I'm praying for you and to Maggie, who, I love so dearly, even though life prevented you from maggifying this chapter I felt you on my shoulder. ;)

**Chapter Six "Through The Dark** "

_As I walk away  
I look over my shoulder  
To see what I'm leaving behind_

_I used to talk  
With honest conviction  
Of how I predicted my world  
I'm gonna leave it to stargazers  
Tell me what your telescope says _

Oh, what is in store for me now?  
Cos I'm feeling my way through the dark  
Trying to find a light on somewhere  
As I'm feeling my way through the dark

__

KT Tunstall

_**  
**_

The ride to Landon's cabin had been awkward to say the least. They had started at the beginning with idle chitchat, then moved on to work, and then complete and utter silence.

Texting Peyton as secretly as she could, she pleaded with her blonde friend to call and rescue her from the torture. Thankfully, the sound of 8mm's "No Way Back" filled the car. She could always count on Peyton to have a depressing yet amazing ring tone.

"Hey Pey, what's going on?" Haley chirped happily into the phone.

"Oh God, it must be bad. You sound like Brooke." Peyton laughed as she continued to pack her suitcase, not really caring if anything was folded or not.

Haley kept the smile on her face. "Exactly."

"So, do I need to go as far as fake an emergency or is this just to bide you time."

Thinking for a second, Haley decided she couldn't just run away…_yet_. "Um, the latter."

Sitting down on her bed, Peyton grabbed her sketchpad off her nightstand and began aimlessly drawing as she always did when she was on the phone. "Hales, I really don't know why you even went to begin with. I think you're just grasping at straws, thinking that you will suddenly fall madly in love with Landon."

"It could happen," Haley countered, as she glanced out of the corner of her eye to make sure Landon wasn't trying too hard to listen.

"Please…Landon practically twisted your arm to become more than friends with him. The only reason you haven't dumped him yet is because of Nathan."

"You broke the rule, Sawyer."

Peyton rolled her eyes at Haley's childish behavior. "I love you Hales, but playing Brooke does not suit you. Yes, I said his name—get over it—because you know it's true. You are running away from Nathan and clinging to Landon, but if you ask me, the farther you run the more you lose yourself."

"Throwing some pretty big stones there Peyton," Haley warned as she observed Landon exit the highway and turn onto a county road that led them past a scary motel and then into nothingness.

"Hey, it's my past that makes it so easy to recognize your mistakes, James." Peyton paused to admire the doodle she had been absentmindedly drawing. It was of Haley and Landon sinking into quicksand and it definitely seemed very fitting if she said so herself.

"Listen, you're strong enough to face your demons, Hales, but the longer you wait the harder it will be."

Playing with the hem of her thin, winter white, v-neck sweater that was ultra comfortable, but still showed off her curves, Haley sat and let Peyton's words register for a moment.

"You still there?" Peyton's worried voice come through the phone

"Yeah, I see your point on why that record isn't a fit for me and I know you're right, but the song _Denial_ off that album still sounds so good to me for at least a couple more days."

Groaning more to herself than Haley, Peyton hopped off her bed and began to pack at super speed. "Shit, Haley I'm late for my flight, but I'm digging the music cover, we need to use that more often. Anyway, I'll let you listen to that song for a little bit longer, because God knows it's the anthem for my life, but it's not yours Hales; your hearts' too much a part of you for it to be denied."

Haley felt tears well in her eyes and quickly blinked them away. Peyton and Brooke were equally her best friends, but it was amazing how differently they dealt with her. While Brooke would do anything and everything to protect Haley from ever feeling an ounce of pain, Peyton would try to get Haley to embrace that pain, so that she could turn that pain into something more…maybe even happiness. She really didn't know where she'd be without either of them.

"Thanks Peyton. Call me when you land in LA."

Peyton zipped her suitcase on the bed. "Ugh, I still can't believe they are sending me to the land of fake tans and even faker tits. I'm sure I'll get seated by some wannabe movie star blabbing to his or her agent on the plane."

Haley laughed and felt her friend's pain. "I'm sorry sweetie, just pop in your IPOD and ignore the world."

As soon as Haley hung up with Peyton she noticed they were pulling up to a massive cabin that looked liked it came straight out of an architectural digest.

"When you said cabin, I was thinking a little more on the lines of roughing it," Haley remarked while getting out of the car so she could soak in the view.

Landon grabbed their two bags out of the car and walked up to her. "Yeah, it's my parents house. I haven't been in here forever, but I think my brother stayed here for a few days last week, so he should have restocked everything," he explained as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and walked her inside.

"Oh, how is Trevor anyway?" Haley asked with genuine curiosity. She had met his brother once of twice before.

"He's good; as obsessed with girls and sports as ever."

Laughing, Haley started going through her bag in the bedroom that Landon had led them to. "Sounds like a typical high school boy."

"Hey now, I was obsessed with music and girls, so what does that make me?" Landon asked with a chuckle of his own.

Haley pointed her finger to her chin in exaggerated thought. "Well, probably an outcast in high school, but by college you'd be groupie material."

Landon pulled Haley away from her suitcase and into his arms. "You're the only groupie I need," he proclaimed huskily as he began to kiss her neck.

'_Why couldn't she get into this?' _She asked herself as she felt his hands start to wander. If anything, it was making her sick to her stomach. She had felt this way with every guy she dated when she knew it was over. Once she had surrendered to the fact that her mind and especially her heart were screaming it wasn't right; it was as if the man she was with had the plague and the thought of ever being with them again literally made her want to throw up. She assumed it was her body's way of reminding her that she shouldn't ever settle.

Bringing her hands up to his chest, she pushed away from him. "We get just got here, let's take it easy for a bit." She saw he was upset, so she gave him a reassuring smile that brought a smile of his own to his face.

"Alright, how about you go relax in the outdoor Jacuzzi while I get dinner started." He finally offered and left the room for her to change, since it was obvious she didn't want to get naked in front of him at that point.

…

Stepping into the Jacuzzi, Haley pulled her loose waves into a jet-black clip, that coincidental matched her bikini, and sank down into the warm bubbling oblivion, leaving only her head above the surface.

After a few minutes, she finally felt some of the tension seep from her body. Rising some, from the water, she opened her eyes and was treated with the gorgeous sun starting to set.

Glancing back at the spectacular house, she suddenly became aware of how unhappy she was with it or maybe it was just because of whom she was with. Whatever the reason, she was suddenly struck with the intense longing to be seventeen again, with no money, and in the North Carolina woods. It had been so simple back then, but she had never been happier.

_Flashback..._

"_Are you kidding me?" Brooke Davis shrieked as she got out of Peyton's car and surveyed her surroundings. _

_Haley stretched her arms. "What's wrong? It's a beautiful spot."_

_Another car pulled up beside theirs._

_Brooke looked at Haley like she was crazy. "Um, let's see…maybe that there is NO CABIN!" She yelled the last two words in her true dramatic fashion. "Where are we supposed to sleep?_

_Lucas approached them with two large tents wrapped up in each arm. "That's what these are for Cheery."_

_Coming up behind Haley, Nathan wrapped his arms around her tiny waist. "I missed you baby," he murmured into her ear and then began to nibble on said ear._

_Giggling, Haley leaned back into his embrace. "I missed you more. How was the ride?"_

_Glancing back at Lucas and Skillz fighting over who had to get the girls crap out of the car, Nathan shook his head. "Not too bad, but I would have much rather had you in the back seat with me."_

"_Nathan, tell them rich people don't do tents," Brooke whined as she approached the couple with a pleading look on her face._

"_Hey, if I can do without my blow dryer, so can you," Nathan argued, before he realized what came out of his mouth_

_Lucas stopped in his tracks and looked at his brother oddly "You use a blow dryer?"_

_Haley squirmed out of Nathan's grasp and ran to Lucas, whispering something in his ear that sent him roaring with laughter._

"_Dude, it's pink?" Lucas continued to laugh._

_Nathan crossed his arms with a scowl on his face. "It was Haley's asshole, and it just worked better than mine."_

"_Yeah, I thought I lost it, until I found it hidden behind the towels in the cabinet," Haley added with a grin._

_Skillz, slapped Nathan on the shoulder. "Don't worry man, I shine my head every night with essential oils and I ain't afraid to admit it." He rubbed his shiny head._

_Brooke eyes lit up at that. "Oh what kind of oils? You know I have this new one that I use in my bath that I think you would just love." She grabbed his hand and pulled him over to her bag._

_Peyton watched the exchange. "Well, now that Brooke has found someone to play make-up with, you guys set this up. Haley and I here are going for a walk."_

"_What the hell? First, you and Brooke wouldn't let _my_ girlfriend ride with me up here and now you're jacking her again?" Nathan bitched as he halted his work on the tent and faced them._

_Haley skipped over to Nathan and jumped into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist and giving him a huge beaming smile. "I promise I will make it up to you. Meet us at the lake when you guys are done."_

_Nathan ran his hands up the back of her tank top and snapped at the lavender bikini top beneath. "Just make sure you're only wearing that." He smirked and gave her a chaste kiss on her smiling lips._

"_And you better not be wearing this." She tugged at the back of his baby blue Nike T-shirt._

"_I think I'm rubbing off on you."_

_She pecked his nose. "Yep and you rub all the right places._

_He sat her down on her feet. "You love it."_

_Walking back to Peyton, she looked over shoulder and blew him a kiss. "And I love you."_

…

_Brooke gazed out into the water at Nathan and Haley, her wrapped in his arms, in their signature position with her tiny legs around him. You would never think such a tiny girl would fit so well with someone Nathan's size, but it was as if her body was made to be in his arms. They were simply perfection. Even the most cynical person couldn't deny that._

_She had known Nathan Scott since second grade when he hit her in the head with a basketball and didn't apologize. In retaliation she pulled his pants down in front of the school the next day and from that moment on they had what appeared to be a sibling rivalry relationship. Always bickering, but they were there for the other if the need arose._

_He had been on a dark road before he met Haley and in a way so was she. She was on her way to becoming horrible excuse for a human being and Nathan was continuing a vicious cycle his father had started._

_But then Haley happened and everything changed. From the very first nod to the very first date Brooke knew Nathan was a goner. He and Haley had found that rare kind of love you never thought could exist unless you are lucky enough to witness it first hand._

_Sure, they were young, but when that kind of love comes around, there is no way you can deny it or would ever want to. They were just so damn lucky to have found it all and to have found it as young as they did was simply a miracle._

_Whenever Nathan looked at Haley, there was this amazing mixture of love, lust, and just pure awe in his eyes that took your breath away. And just when you think it couldn't get any better, you looked into Haley's and you saw it there too._

_Haley and Nathan didn't just open up each other's world, they created their own and it was in quiet moments like now that you got to see it at its purest form. _

_They truly gave her hope… they gave them all hope._

"_You think we'll ever have that?" Peyton suddenly asked, having been transfixed by the same sight as her best friend._

_Brooke wrapped an arm around Peyton's waist. "Well, if not, we can always marry each other, but I get to be the bride."_

_Peyton groaned playfully at just the thought of what being married to Brooke would entail. She felt for the guy that actually got down on his knee one day; they had no clue what madness they were for._

"_How about we all get hitched and I can get freaky every night with a brunette on my left and a blonde on my right," Skillz rhymed with a grin as he stopped in front of their blanket._

"_Skillz, quit trying to be a player and help me get these burgers off the grill," Lucas shouted lightheartedly as continuously flipped hamburger patties._

"_Man, I don't have to try, I just am," Skillz boasted as he left his lovely ladies and went to help._

"_Looks like dinner is done." Nathan grinned to a content Haley who was lazily rubbing his neck as he massaged her lower back._

_Haley turned her head to the shore and saw the group gathering to fix their plates. "Carry me," she gently instructed, her bottom lip protruding just enough to make it impossible for him to say no._

"_You got it baby." He kept her tightly to his body and walked in from the water onto the shore, only sitting her down once he grabbed a towel off a picnic table to wrap around her for warmth._

_Lucas rolled his eyes. "You are so whipped."_

_Haley walked over and smacked Lucas upside the head as she grabbed a plate._

_Laughing Nathan popped a pickle slice in his mouth. "At least I'm getting some." Nathan jabbed his brother to which Haley smacked him upside the head just like she had Lucas._

_Rubbing the back of his head, Nathan looked at her shocked as Lucas laughed._

_Sitting down at the picnic table beside Brooke, Haley chose to ignore both pouting. Scotts._

"_Here Hales." An evil-looking Brooke handed Haley a bright pink plastic cup filled with what appeared to be lemonade._

_Eyeing Brooke suspiciously Haley took a sip, realizing quickly that alcohol was a very prominent part of what she was drinking. "Are you trying to get me drunk so that I will agree to go stay in a hotel with you?"_

"_Tutorgirl, while that's actually not a bad idea, I just thought if we have to be stuck out here in wilderness then, hell, we could use some liquid courage to get us through. Besides, isn't it yummy? It's everclear and lemonade," she boasted rising her bright green cup to her lips._

"_Or more appropriately titled 'Devil's Piss'," Peyton snarked and then took a big drink of it from her own cup._

_An hour later…_

"_You're so pretty," Haley gushed as she sat down in Nathan's lap, facing him, and stroked his cheek._

_Nathan chuckled as he tightened his arms around her waist. "Hales, you're so wasted."_

_A broad smile came across her face. "Yep, but you're still pretty."_

_Brooke popped up from the other side of the blanket, where she had been lying on her back gazing at the stars. "Oh My God! You two should totally have babies!" She clapped her hands excitedly._

_Lucas gave her a disgusted look. "Where the hell did that come from?"_

_Peyton slapped Lucas on the back with a knowing grin. "It's Brooke, there is no rhyme or reason."_

_Giving both blondes a defiant look, Brooke turned back to her Naley, as she had dubbed them. "Anyway, what I meant is that whether I like to admit it or not BoyToy isn't hard on the eyes and Tutorgirl is a total hottie, so they would have the most gorgeous little Naley babies ever! Oh, I can so see a little girl named Brooke with Haley's hair and Nathan's blue eyes." She beamed to the two of them._

_Sobering up a tad from Brooke's random tangent, Haley kissed Nathan's lips quickly. "Please don't freak out, I have no control over her." Her large wide eyes pleaded with him, afraid Brooke had put the fear of God into him._

_He kissed her long and hard, leaving her breathless and the cupped her face with his hands. "She's right…we are going to have gorgeous babies, but there is no way we are naming 'our' little girl Brooke," he winked._

_There wasn't an ounce of fear or pacification in his words, just complete and utter conviction that made Haley fall in love with him all over again. And even though she would probably blame it on the alcohol in the morning, as she gazed into his eyes, she saw her children's shining back and in that instant she knew they and their father were her destiny._

_End Of Flashback…_

For the first time in years she felt emotions catching in her throat and it took everything she had to swallow them back down. She couldn't become weak; she had to take back control of her life…a life she had fought so hard to rebuild.

Taking a deep breath she decided she had to push through, and whether it was right or wrong Landon could help her do that. All she had to do was get past the initial sickness she knew she would feel with him and maybe, just _maybe,_ it would fade.

Grabbing a towel, she made her way out of the tub and into the warm house, but once inside she was met with a chilling reception.

"Hey, I thought you were cooking." She slowly approached a tense looking Landon who was staring at her with cold, hard eyes.

As soon as she was within reach he grabbed her arm and yanked her around, sending her towel to the floor, and exposing her back to him.

"Jesus Landon, you're hurting me." She wrenched her arm away from him and backed away a few feet before she faced him again.

"I can't believe I actually trusted you." He laughed bitterly.

She rubbed at her red arm. "What are you talking about?"

"You want to let me in on the real story behind that tramp stamp above your ass?"

Her mouth dropped open and she quickly closed it hoping to cover. "Landon, what the hell is going on?" she asked hoping to deter his previous question.

"You can dance around it all you want, but I know Scott branded you. So, have you been fucking him the whole time he's been in town?" He picked up a magazine off the coffee table and tossed it at her feet.

Bending down, she snatched up the Sports Illustrated that happened to have Nathan on the cover with the words _'The Real Story Behind His Departure'_.

"Go ahead and read it. You know, I knew Nathan Scott was some sort of pro basketball star, but I have to say his high school days are far more interesting than his professional."

Flipping through Haley was horrified to see the entire article was focused on her and Lucas being the main part of Nathan's life before the pros and his reason for throwing his fame away. Reports that he had moved to New York and had been spotted with both her and Lucas had spurred the article it seemed.

There were at least five pictures from their high school days. Two were of the brother's bumping fists and hugging on the court, but the others contained her. One was of her before she became a cheerleader wearing a jersey, with Nathan's number on it, sitting on top of Lucas's shoulders and leaning down to kiss Nathan. Another was a solo shot of her cheering with Nathan's number tattooed across her cheek, her diamond engagement ring shining out to everyone against the blue of her pom pom, and the caption _'Haley James-Former fiancée of Nathan Scott'_ underneath.

Then last, but certainly not least, was a picture taken at the State Championship game their senior year right. It had been captured maybe a second after Nathan had hit the game winning show and Haley had leapt in his arms.

She remembered this photo well because she had the exact same photo hidden away in a box. Whitey had given her and Nathan a copy after the game and she had fallen so in love with it. They looked like a fairytale couple with their smiling lips pressed tightly together and their arms holding onto each other for dear life as confetti rained down around them.

They were happy, she could see it in his eyes, and even if she told herself a million times, over the years, that he never loved her, this picture forced her to see he did. His eyes never lied to her.

Nevertheless, he left her and destroyed what they had shared. Him loving her back then and possibly even now didn't change a thing…_it couldn't_.

Glancing back up from the article, she tried to look apologetic to Landon, but it was clear he was far from in a forgiving mood.

"I'm not sleeping with him." She finally spoke after a minute of awkward silence and tossed the magazine back on the table.

"Why the hell would I believe that? You were engaged for God's sakes!"

Haley jumped a little in surprise at his outrage. "That was a long time ago and I didn't think it was relevant," she attempted to explain, but her words sounded hollow even to her own ears.

Landon paced back and forth in front of the fireplace. "What really gets me is the fact that you and him had this big ass secret between you two and you just sat there as he went on and on about this guy in high school that was supposedly the love of you life and it was _him_ all along. Damn it Haley, I feel like a fucking moron!" He slammed his fist into the mantel, but instantly regretted it when he saw the fear written all over her face and he knew he needed to reign it in. He loved her and he would get no where with her if he let his anger get the better of him.

Running to him, she tried to grab his hand to make sure it was alright, but he retracted from her completely.

"Do you still love him?"

Haley blinked a couple times, shocked by his question. "No…of course not," she rambled out.

Shaking his head in disgust, Landon sat down on the sofa and stared at the still open magazine before him. He didn't know what made him angrier, the fact that Haley had kept so much from him or the fact his brother had to leave this magazine out and shatter his image of Haley. Living in the dark would have felt a whole lot better than what he was feeling now.

"Do you love me?" he softly asked the one question he truly needed the answer to.

She was at his side immediately. "Of course I do, you've been one of my closest friends for two years now."

He turned to look at her. "Are you in love with me Haley?"

Looking into his eyes, she knew she couldn't lie. "No, I'm sorry…I'm not."

He laughed in spite of himself. "I should have known, but Haley you're so full of shit saying you even love me as a friend."

She stood with her hands on her hips. "What the hell is that suppose to mean?" she questioned, her voice growing defensive, all sympathy for him quickly flying out the window.

"You have been escaping from yourself and what makes you happy for so long, even you can't see the truth anymore. I mean, hell Haley, who besides Brooke or Peyton even knows anything about you before you moved here? You say Nathan and all that was so long ago that it doesn't matter, but it does."

"It has nothing to do with who I am today," she clinically informed him and stormed away to the bedroom, tired of his psychoanalytical bull shit.

A few moments later she came back in dressed back in her jeans and thin white sweater and she had obviously gotten dressed in a hurry, as it was clear she was sans a bra.

"Haley, the girl in those photos is a girl I've never met. I've never seen you smile like that in the two years I've known you and that's pretty sad. Maybe if you took a good hard look at your past you'd could find that girl again."

"Nathan and I will never be together again," she clarified quickly for him as she began to slip on her boots in angry exaggerated motions.

Landon ran his fingers through his blonde hair. "I didn't mean you had to be with Nathan again; just that if you work through the past maybe you can finally find happiness in the future, whether it's with Nathan or not."

She rolled her eyes and stood up. "I think I liked you better when you were playing the role of a pissed ex-boyfriend instead of a psychiatrist."

"Haley, I love you too damn much to not try to help you even if I know I'm going to regret it in the morning."

'_Help her? Was he serious?_' She couldn't take this anymore, she had to get out of there.

"Haley, where are you going?" he shouted out to her as she made her way to the front door and quickly swung it open.

Rationally, she knew she had no right to be angry with him, but he was a man and right now every one of them was on her shit list. "Away from here. I'll have Brooke or Peyton get my things from you next week."

With those last parting words, she slammed the door behind her and began what she knew would be a long walk away from the cabin and more importantly away from Landon.

She knew she should feel a twinge of sadness of how things ended with Landon, but all she felt was relief. Sure when she had come in from the Jacuzzi she had planned to force herself to have fun, but inside she knew it would have just been a losing battle.

She wished she had at least ended things on a better note, but in her heart she knew their friendship was over too. Because he was right; he didn't truly know her, he only knew what she wanted him to see. Sadly, the only people that did know her were people she knew from high school. They were the only ones that saw inside her, but maybe that was because she had closed herself off to anyone else.

'_God, she didn't know anything anymore.' _Feeling around in her pockets she felt relief when she realized she hadn't left her phone behind. Glancing at her keypad she decided Brooke was the obvious choice to come rescue her, especially with Peyton out of town.

After a series of rings, Brooke's voicemail picked up. "Brooke? Where are you? Landon and I had a huge fight and it's over and my stubborn ass decided to be dramatic like and storm out with no car or purse apparently. So, I really really need you to come get me…please."

Ten minutes later… 

"BROOKE! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?" Haley yelled exasperated into the phone, having called Brooke a total of six times with no response. Brooke had no plans tonight and she just knew her best friend had passed out with her phone on silent so no one would disturb her precious beauty sleep. "You know if I get killed by a serial killer, I'm coming back to haunt you," she promised and hung up.

Frustrated Haley gave up on Brooke and tried Lucas's cell and thankfully she heard him answer.

"Oh Lucas, I'm so glad you picked up." She paused when she heard a beep and noticed her cell was going dead. "Look, my phone is going dead so just listen. Landon and I broke up, and I'm stranded on county road 824 at least eight or so miles after you turn on it. I know you don't have a car yet, but just borrow Nathan's because Brooke's is still in the shop. Just hurry because it is freezing out here and it's about to…" A double beep, alerting her that her phone had died, cut her off.

Sliding her phone back into her pocket she began to walk again. She knew she could just go back and Landon would drive her home in the morning, but her pride wouldn't let her.

So, she walked and walked for over an hour under the blanket of night, praying for a sliver of light to break though, but she knew it was futile. Rain clouds had hidden any glimmer of the stars that were shimmering high above her and the lights of Landon's cabin had vanished into the distance long ago.

But just when she had almost given up hope, headlights appeared, lightening the darkened path before her.

Running excitedly down the road to Lucas, she had to shield her eyes from the light as she approached the now halted vehicle.

"Lucas, you always did love to play the hero. How did you manage to snag Nathan's car?" She happily questioned as she hopped into the SUV.

"Wrong Scott. Lucas left his phone at my house," Nathan explained with a wink and began to turn the SUV around to head back up to the main highway.

She contemplated getting out of the car, but that very second rain began to pour from the sky. Facing death by Hypothermia, she chose the lesser of two evils and sank back into her seat.

"Did you really break up with Landon?" He was never one to beat around the bush.

She just nodded and stared out at her window at the rain beating against it.

"Are you all right?" He asked trying to keep the excitement out of his voice that she had broken it off with surfer boy.

But he was met with no answer from her.

"Are you hungry? I think there's a few fast food places a few miles down the highway?"

She didn't respond and his frustration grew. That was the one thing he could never deal with from her. When they were younger and they had fought, sometimes she would go into silent mode for hours upon hours and it drove him crazy. It would literally bring him to his knees begging her to just yell at him.

"Have you just given up talking to me?"

Again, she stayed silent.

"DAMN IT! You know that drives me nuts Haley."

"Deer," she unexpectedly blurted out.

He smirked. "Are we bringing out the pet names already baby?"

Her eyes grew big as it became clear he was still barreling forward at full speed. "NATHAN, DEER!" she yelled this time, and pointed out in front of them.

Nathan's eyes flew to the road, and he swung the wheel violently to avoid hitting the animal blocking their path, but in doing so he lost control.

Haley screamed and launched herself into Nathan's side as the car spun wildly off the road.

Seconds later, silence had replaced the screams that had echoed through the air and once again _darkness_ had enveloped the desolate dirt road.

* * *

Cath


	7. Catch My Disease

**Author's Note: **Hey guys, sorry for the delay with the chapter, but I was really OCD about it and with the holidays etc. it took a bit longer. ;) I hope you enjoy it and just a warning it has some language and "mature" material.

Thanks to the wonderful Christina for beta-ing this so brilliantly and quickly. You are such a sweetie!!!! Also, thanks to my love Maggie who is always my sounding board and to Jess who has been waiting for something in this chapter for awhile. ;)

**Chapter Seven "Catch My Disease"**

_Your body's a dream that turns violent  
and that's the way I like it  
and that's the way I like it  
_

_So please  
Baby please  
Open your heart  
Catch my disease_

_So please  
Baby please  
Open your eyes  
Catch my disease_

_**Ben Lee**_

"I don't know why you are so pissed at me, it's not my fault a damn deer decided to play in the highway," Nathan defended as the two walked in the pouring rain towards the lights of a motel.

Thankfully, they hadn't technically crashed, but his SUV had plowed through a pretty dense collection of bushes and dead trees and it would take one big ass tow truck to get him out of that mess.

"If you hadn't been so busy being an ass, you would have seen that deer," she complained back over her shoulder as they finally reached the motel that looked eerily like The Bates Motel from Psycho.

Once inside a man that only added to the horror movie factor greeted them and immediately sought out Haley's chest.

Looking down she noticed she looked like the winner of a wet T-shirt contest and quickly crossed her arms over her chest.

"You sure a pretty little thing," the man remarked as he continued to openly leer at her.

Nathan moved to stand in front of her. "We need a room," he bluntly spoke, his voice hard.

The man tried to look around Nathan. "Hmm, I didn't see a ring on that sweet girl's finger. You sure you don't need two rooms? We got a nice one right by the office so it's real safe, I'm sure the lady would be very comfortable there."

"Listen ass…" Nathan started to threaten with his fists clenching at his sides.

Haley quickly came around Nathan and wrapped her arms around his waist from the side, knowing it would shut him up so she could diffuse the situation. "No, thank you. You see this _is_ my husband here and he is on leave from the Marines because, well just between you and me, his temper got the best of him." She paused to smile sheepishly.

"But you see we were driving to my family's lease so he could kill something, since he hates to go a day without shooting his gun and we had some car trouble. Oh and I guess you didn't need to know all that, I tend to ramble don't I, honey?" Haley beamed up at Nathan.

Nathan held her close to him, even if it was for show, he was going to enjoy the hell out of it. "Aw, it's all right baby." He leaned down and tenderly kissed her forehead—feeling her tense—then turned back to the now visibly pale man. "What my wife was getting at is we only need one room. Is that a problem?"

"Uh…no…sir." The man hurriedly handed Nathan a key to the farthest room from the office.

…

As soon as they were safely inside—with the door deadbolted—both their eyes landed to the focal point of the room; the bed…the _only_ bed.

It was a standard double sized with a hideous mustard yellow comforter, but to the two people in the room it looked a hell of a lot more like a giant pink elephant.

Focusing back on Haley, he noticed her shivering and a quick scan of the room told him there was no heater. "Take your clothes off," he instructed as walked past her and into the bathroom

"Nathan, I'm exhausted, and not in the mood for your games. The only reason we are sharing a room is so Mr. future sex offender back there won't thing I'm open season."

Nathan came back out and handed her a towel. "You're going to freeze to death if you stay in those clothes Hales. You can use this to cover up until you're under the covers.

She took the towel from him. "Oh…sorry I just assumed…"

"Assumed I wanted to sleep with you?" he finished for her with a knowing grin. "Well, I do. You don't ever have to question that one. But Hales, even if I joke you know I'd never pressure you about that."

She gave him a small nod in acceptance and then went to change. He stared after her, transfixed by the sight of her soaking wet. She looked so damn gorgeous just as she had the day he waited for her in the pouring rain five years before on her front porch steps. He'd been so terrified he had lost her, but when he saw her get out of Peyton's car his faith was renewed with an overwhelming sense of confidence. They were soul mates and as the rain poured around them he knew he couldn't go another day without having her agree to be his wife and start their forever.

_Flashback…_

_When she climbed into his mother's convertible she had silent tears rolling down her cheek and while he feared she would change her mind, her needs where what truly mattered._

"_Haley, we don't have to do this tonight," he gently offered, knowing that Lucas's departure was breaking her heart. In some ways it was breaking his too, but he knew for Haley the loss was far greater.  
_

_Facing him, Haley saw everything she could ever want and need shining in his worried eyes. Her best friend may be leaving her that night, but in his place was the love of her life and she had never felt safer. "No, no I want to. More than ever."  
_

"_You sure?"  
_

_Smiling encouragingly, she gently stroked his cheek and let it linger there. "Yeah. No regrets." _

…

"_I thought we were going back to your place?" Haley questioned when she noticed they missed the turn to his apartment._

"_There's something I need to show you first." He mysteriously answered._

_Ten minutes later they pulled up to a grassy area right along the shore of the beach where intertwining trees and bushes filled with little purple flowers provided a secluded paradise that had remained untouched from civilization and was more beautiful than anything man could ever build. _

"_Nathan this is gorgeous!" Haley exclaimed as she quickly exited the vehicle to take in the amazing view of the waves crashing against the rocks of the shore that laid before them. Doing a little twirl she turned to face the beautiful trees and of course her dream guy._

"_There are no words for how much I love you Nathan. This is the most beautiful thing ever." She beamed as she ran to him and threw her arms around his neck._

"_You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen Hales," he promised her before capturing her smiling lips in long passionate kiss._

_After they broke apart he gently sat her to the ground and lowered down to one knee. With a deep breath he took her left hand in his and gazed up into her confused yet incredibly endearing eyes._

"_Hales…Baby, I know I already asked this once today, but I left out one important part." He winked to her and produced a ring out of his pocket with his free hand._

_Speechless, Haley stared at the diamond shining out to her from the light of the luminous moon. It was the ring she had fallen in love with at the antique store just two short months earlier. _

"_Nathan, how can you afford this? It's too much…I mean I told you today I didn't need a ring as long as I had you and I meant it…I promise." She nervously rambled with tears forming in her eyes, hoping he didn't think she ever needed anything material to pledge her heart to him forever. She had already done that when she said yes._

_Slipping it on her tiny finger, he knew instantly it was a perfect fit just as she was for him. "I know you didn't need it Hales, but you deserve it." He stood and took her face in his hands. "And don't worry about the money, I had some socked away and there are no refunds so don't even try to go behind my back and return it." _

"_You know me so well." She laughed a bit as her tears started to fall._

_Thunder boomed and lightening streaked through the sky above them as heavy raindrops began to fall over them. Normally, any two sane human beings would run for shelter, but to them, being together was _their_ shelter. Besides rain was a sign of new beginnings for them as a couple and they would embrace it for always. _

"_So, will you marry me Miss Haley James?" He asked softly as he brought his lips down—stopping just a breath away from hers._

"_Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes." She repeatedly excitedly, the word effortlessly rolling off her tongue over and over. "Now get me back to that apartment so I can say yes some more." _

_He chuckled and closed the distance between them to seal their now 'official' engagement with a kiss that was so full of love and all consuming that for a moment neither was sure they would make it to the apartment._

…

"_Nathan, I can't believe you made me wait outside for ten minute," Haley giggled as Nathan walked her into his apartment with his hands covering her eyes._

"_Open your eyes," He softly directed her as he took his hands away._

"_Nathan…" Haley gasped in awe at the sight that lay before her. There were white candles creating a soft glow throughout the entire apartment with pristine white rose petals that created a path directly to the bedroom._

_Turning to take his hand with a radiant smile, she led him down the path and when they entered the bedroom even more candles and petals greeted them, along with bouquets of soft pink roses. It was the epitome of romance and to Haley a big fancy hotel suite had nothing on what Nathan had done for her._

_He didn't think it was possible to want someone so much, but he knew he had to reign it in and make sure she was ready. She was his world and he never wanted her to ever doubt his intentions. "We don't have to do anything Hales, that's not why I asked you to marry me."_

_Whipping around to face him, Haley looked at him like he'd lost his mind. "Oh you have got to be kidding me." She then grinned wickedly and took him by tie, dragging him further into the room and slamming the door behind them._

_A few smoldering kisses later and they were both naked in each other's arms, reveling in the feel of their bodies pressed hard together._

_Laying her down gently beneath him on the bed, Nathan's breath hitched at the sight of her perfect smooth legs opening for him._

_He couldn't believe how nervous he was, but in reality this was truly his first time too. Never had he 'made love' to a girl before, especially the love of his life. Sex had just been a release for him before, but now there was a whole new level of pleasure he was about to enter._

_Her hand reached out to caress his cheek. "You're shaking."_

"_I just don't want to disappoint you." _

_She quirked her eyebrow at that with a smile. "Isn't that my line?"_

_He laughed lightly and bent down to kissed her lips. "There is no way in hell you could disappoint me."_

"_Then trust me when I say the same goes for you." She smiled reassuringly. "Now kiss me." She playfully demanded._

_And he did and he didn't stop till the sun rose five hours later. In their euphoria, they lost count how many times they made love that night, all they knew was that being one together was like nothing else they would ever experience in their lifetime. They simply flowed and found a flawless rhythm in every position and move they made. _

_Their hearts had already found eternity in each other and now their bodies discovered ecstasy could last just as long. Together they had found the Holy Grail of love, sex, and everything in between. _

_End of Flashback_

Her footsteps brought him out of the past and his heart ached again when he realized what had become their present.

They should have had five more years of happiness side by side; with days filled with laughter and contentment; and nights spent making love until their aching bodies couldn't withstand one more ounce of pleasure. They should have had it all, but instead here they were barely able to make eye contact in a lonely cold motel room.

And even though he knew they could and _would_ get that life back, it still killed him that with one painful decision he cost them both five years worth of memories _together_. He just had to make damn sure they didn't waste anymore time.

"Don't look." Haley warned as she began to turn the bed down.

He chuckled at that, but did as she said. Once he knew she was in the bed covered he took off his shirt and then started to unbuckle his jeans.

Haley's eyes shot over to him in shock as he pulled down his pants and boxer briefs down at the same time revealing all of him. "You are such a dick." She blew out and turned away from him to face the wall.

"No, I have a dick, one that you use to call _The_ _Titanic_, because it was, in you words, _long, wide, powerful, and so damn luxurious to ride_." He smirked, knowing she could see it on his face even with her back to him.

"And just like the actual ship's passengers I would never ride you again," she snit.

"Whatever you have to tell yourself Hales."

"Quit calling me Hales and get in bed." She grumbled, securing the covers around her.

Slightly taken aback he hesitated a bit. "Not that I don't appreciate the invitation, but I was sure you'd make me sleep on the floor."

Sighing, she ran a hand through her now curly hair. Not having a blow dryer had induced it. "Sleeping on the floor can't be good for your knee."

He froze, wondering just how much she knew. "How do you know about that? It didn't even make the papers."

"I was there…at the hospital." She softly confessed after a long moment of silence.

_Flashback…_

"_Cooper!" Haley shouted as she ran out of the elevator towards Nathan's Uncle who was pacing back and forth past the nurses' station._

"_Haley, thank God!" Cooper opened his arms just in time to catch her._

_After a moment, Haley leaned back from his embrace and looked up into his exhausted face. "How is he? Have they told you anything?"_

"_He's out of surgery and they said he's going to be fine. He's pretty banged up though."_

_She took a second to let the relief wash over her and then let Cooper lead her to the windows of the room in front of them. _

_There he was the man that had broken her heart lying broken in a hospital bed. _

"_What happened?" She finally asked, knowing Cooper was still by her side. _

"_He came to visit me after he finished up the season and I let him race one of the cars. I don't really know what happened after that, he just kept going faster and faster and then…well you know the rest."_

_Haley's eyes closed tightly as horrific images flashed through her mind. She kept seeing the fear in Nathan's eyes as his car veered out of control and into an unforgiving concrete wall. _

_Cooper placed his hand on her shoulder. "Why don't you go see him Haley, I know he'd want you by his side._

"_No!" She turned frantic eyes on him. "Please…he can't know I'm here. In fact where are Dan and Deb?"_

"_Deb should be here in about two hours, She was in Italy with Karen when it happened. Nathan told me not to call Dan, and I intend to follow through on that promise."_

"_Did he ask you not to call me too?" _

_Cooper looked at the ground._

_Leaning up, Haley kissed his cheek and gave him a calming smile. "It's all right Coop, I'm glad you called me."_

"_Haley, he still loves you. I don't know what happened, but please just stay and talk to him." He pleaded with her knowing that Nathan was a mess without her. He wasn't sure what exactly went down with his nephew's decision to end things with Haley, but it was clear it wasn't due to a lack of love or want. Nathan needed Haley and Cooper was damn sure Nathan's wreck had everything to do with having to live without her._

"_I can't, in fact, now that I know he's all right I need to get going. Peyton and Brooke don't know where I am and if I leave now I'll get back before they even wake up to discover I'm gone." _

_Cooper had to get her in that room, if not for Nathan's well being than for her own. "Look, why don't I go get you a cab and if you decide to go in there no one will ever know, not even me." _

_Right then and there, it was clear to Haley that Nathan could have very well got his charm and devastating smile from the Lee's as well the Scott's and unfortunately she had a weakness for those attributes. Besides, letting Cooper down because of her feelings towards Nathan wasn't something she had in her. _

_Once he was out of sight, her trembling hands opened Nathan's door. His room was eerily dark, save the moonlight shining through the blinds, and the only sounds were the monotonous beeps of the many machines monitoring his vitals. Gradually, she approached his bedside, a part of her praying that if she took her time, she may wake up and realize it was all just a nightmare, but as reached her destination the reality came crashing down around her._

_Reaching out, she ran her fingers across his forehead and the tears she had been holding in since Cooper called her, just a mere three hours before, finally began to streak down her cheeks. _

_She couldn't believe how fragile he looked. Nathan was always so strong, always wanting to protect her, but now the tables were turned and what hurt the most was that she couldn't be there for him. _

_He didn't want nor need her support and that was something she was still having trouble grasping after all this time. It had almost been a year to the day that he left her at the altar and while everyone thought she was moving on, she was really just burying the pain. _

_Maybe that was because she never got to say goodbye to what they had shared or to him. The last time she saw him, he was begging her not to leave his bed and then he was gone. _

_Placing her hand in his, she gently ran her thumb over the abrasions on his knuckles. "You don't deserve what I'm about to say, but God help me that plane ride was the worst kind of torture not knowing if you were going to be okay." She paused and took a deep breath. "I will love you forever Nathan. Just be careful so I don't have to say that to a grave for at least another seventy or eighty years."_

_Just as she was about to take her hand away, she felt him squeeze it and she suddenly knew this was it; the day she would finally find the strength to walk away from her past. If Nathan could survive a broken body, she could survive a broken heart._

_With a tearful smile, she brought their joined hands up to her lips and kissed his fingers ever so softly. "Goodbye Nathan."_

…

_She finally got her goodbye, but it didn't come without its price. That day showed her that no matter how much pain Nathan Scott had caused her, she could never escape their love, no matter how hard she ran from it. And she would run—to the ends of the earth if she had to—but deep down she knew it would be in vain. No amount of time or distance would ever be enough, due to the simple fact; you can never outrun the heart._

_End of Flashback_

"I thought that was a dream." Nathan revealed quietly, in awe that after all he had put her through she had been there for him.

"Yeah, well it was no big deal. You were fine and Cooper was just trying to play matchmaker." She quickly rationalized and scooted closer to the edge of the bed giving him plenty of room to get in without having to touch her.

Climbing into the bed, he laid on his back and stared up at the ceiling. "Did he tell you any details about the crash?" He tentatively probed.

"Not much, when he called he said the clutch had given them problems in the past, so I figured that was why. Can we just go to bed now?" She mumbled as the need for sleep and avoiding any emotions was starting to get the better of her.

"It wasn't an accident Haley."

Haley shot up and stared down at him bewildered. "What do you mean? Did someone mess with the car?"

He sat up and faced her, but kept his eyes downcast. He had to get it his off his chest and she was the only one he could ever confess it to. "When I got on that track the faster I went, the more I saw you and the pain became too much. I just wanted it to stop Haley."

Raring back she slapped him catching them both by surprise, but she quickly found her voice. "Take it back…now." Her words were shaky, but it didn't hinder the conviction behind them.

He rubbed at his cheek. "Do you want me to lie to you? Screw that Haley, I'm tired of holding back."

Haley jumped out the bed, not caring that she was exposing her entire body to him, the anger she felt was just too great. "You were the one that left, if anyone should have been in a hospital it was _me_ not you!"

Getting out of the bed too, he stood a few feet away from her, using every fiber of his being to keep his eyes focused on her face. "You just can't even grasp how much everyday without you killed me. Because then that fucks with your perfect little picture that paints me as a heartless bastard that never gave a damn about you!"

"I gave you everything Nathan, my heart, my soul, and even my body because I thought you were the one and you threw it all back in my face!" Her voice was growing louder with each word.

He threw his hands in the air. "I made the biggest fucking mistake of my life! I thought I was doing what was best for you," he fired right back.

She laughed bitterly and crossed her arms over her chest. "You still don't get it, once I agreed to marry you, there was no me or you anymore, there was only us. We were supposed to be a team Nathan that made decisions together and went through life side by side no matter what."

"You don't know the whole story, but all you need to know is that the second I walked away I knew I was wrong, but by then it was too late and I had destroyed us both."

"Destroyed? Don't give yourself so much credit. I was coping fine, it was even beginning to feel like you never existed. I was happy without you Nathan, my life was better than ever."

It was his turn to laugh. "Really? If you were so damn happy in you life, I wouldn't rile you up so much. Hell, you wouldn't give a shit if I was permanently attached to you hip. Yeah, you have great friends and a great job, but you know there is so much more in life and I think deep down you know I'm the only one that can give it to you. Once you find the one no one else can ever come close Haley, so don't even try to deny that."

"Now, you're spouting that _'one' _crap. Well, here's a news flash I held out for what I thought was the _'one'_ and all it got me was heartbreak. So now not holding out is a much better fit." She grinned wickedly, knowing she was about to touch upon something that would hit him at his core.

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?"

Putting one hand on her hip and she ran the other ever so slowly over her breasts and down her stomach seductively, daring him to stare and true to his form he couldn't keep his eyes from following the flawless path her fingers took him on. "I just mean that even _if_ you were the one you sure as hell haven't been my only…at least in physical terms."

"Stop it." He gritted out through clenched teeth as he tried to reign in not only his temper but his steadily growing hard on.

"Oh, you didn't think I held out for you all these years? You left me high and dry Nathan and you also left me with a sense of who the hell cares anymore so what choice did I have?" She shrugged innocently.

"Haley, I'm warning you." He stepped closer.

"What? Does the thought of other guys inside me bother you?" She placed her hand over her mouth in a playful oops motion. "Well, too bad because there were others in me Nathan, thrusting in and out, trying to get me to scream their…"

He had her up against the wall before she could ever finish her sentence, his lips just centimeters from hers. "But you didn't, did you?" He taunted his voice hard and full of lust. "Because you were thinking of me, weren't you? I'm the only one that can get you to scream so loud that you have to bite down on my shoulder so the neighbors won't call the cops. You remember Haley?"

She could feel him throb against her stomach and as much as she hated it, she couldn't help becoming incredibly wet by the feel of it. "You don't think anyone else ever got me off?" She continued to mock him even as her breathing started to become labored and her nipples grew hard. Her body was betraying her and the worst part was she was starting to enjoy it.

He licked his lips and brought his hand down to her center, rubbing against her smooth folds, smirking when his fingers became instantly drenched. "Admit it, when they were inside you, it was _me_ you were really fucking?"

"Stop it." She demanded, but even to her own ears the words were hollow. She began to whimper as his fingers began to tease the bundle of nerves that could drive any women over the edge without a man even entering her.

"Tell me Haley, tell me I'm the only one you ever fucked…tell me", he demanded as his lips began to place hot open mouthed kissed across her jaw and down her neck.

Pushing her pelvis into his hand, she still didn't answer. As much as she hated him, she wanted him a million times more. Horny didn't even begin to describe her need for him at that moment because he was right; no man ever could make her feel the way he did. His fingers, his lips, his dick; were like weapons against her will. Just one of those attributes could send her into a mind shattering orgasm, but all three together…well no words could touch upon the ecstasy they produced.

She knew she was already goner, but she had to take back control. If they were going to fuck, she sure as hell wasn't going to let him call all the shots. Bringing her hand down she grabbed him hard, loving the shot of liquid she felt as her thumb swirled around his head. Rolling it around, to give her some lubrication, she began moving her hand up and down his velvety shaft, enjoying the primal groans coming from his lips against her neck.

In the back of his mind, he knew this probably wasn't the best timing, but fuck he didn't give a damn. It was Haley, and he'd waited five excruciating long years to be in this position with her again.

There had been too many nights where dreams of being with her had left him in a mess and he was sure his shower drain had more of him than water down it half the time. _So, how in the hell could ever walk away from the real deal?_

He remembered nights where he wondered who was the actual virgin when they met. She made him feel pleasure that he wasn't even sure man was meant to feel; it was more addicting than any drug ever sold. Haley James was the girl most never dreamed could exist. She had the face of an angel, the body of a goddess, and the libido of a porn star and not even God himself, could stop him now that he was so close to the only heaven he ever cared to be in.

"Just say it Hales and I'll give you what you want." He huskily spoke into her ear, trying with all his might not to erupt all over her hand.

Haley bit her lip so hard, she could taste her own blood, but it was the only way she could herself from screaming out yes to him.

Taking her hand away from his painfully rigid member, he forcefully put both her hands above her head and kept them in place with just one of his large ones. Instinctively, one of her legs wrapped around him and with his free hand he yanked her other leg up and pushed her even further up the wall, lining his rock hard length right at her glistening opening.

"Say it and I'll slam into you."

She tightened her legs around him and locked eyes with him. "I hate you, but God yes it was always you." She swore and then crashed her lips against his, so hard that he almost lost his balance. But within seconds he returned her kiss with equal ferocity, causing teeth to clash, lips to bust, and tongues to battle for domination until neither knew who's oxygen they were surviving on.

As he promised Nathan positioned his hands under her ass and shoved himself all the way into her without a single warning or hesitation. They both cried out at the sensation of what their bodies had been deprived of for so long. In that moment they couldn't believe that either had lived a day without the feel of him being inside her.

With her hands now free, Haley clung to his shoulders, digging her nails in as he began to pound over and over into her, hurling her into the wall with each thrust. Certain people may use the word masochist to describe those who enjoy being savagely taken the way she was now, but those people were never fucked hard against a wall by a guy like Nathan Scott, where the pain and intensity only added to the mind blowing pleasure.

Going at it rough was _definitely_ a necessary form of sex that should be a part of everyone's sexual routine.

He was going to blow any second with her moaning and clenching around him. '_Damn, the things she did to him.' _Dipping his head down he took one of her exquisite—ripe for the sucking—nipples into his mouth, transforming her moans into screams in a second flat.

Haley ran her fingers through his hair as she felt the world around her begin to melt into a series of bright colors and sublime pleasure.

When he knew she was falling over the edge, he finally let himself go and shot load after load into her.

"Shit…I've missed this Hales." He breathlessly murmured into her shoulder as she continued milk whatever was left of him.

"This doesn't mean anything." She answered her tone icy as she slid down his body and walked over to the only dresser in the room. Hopping on top of it she faced him and spread her legs apart. She had to keep this going because if she faltered for even a second she would have to start analyze what she had done, why she had done it and most importantly what it had meant and that was something she was just not ready to endure.

It may be only a quick fix, but it was a delay she desperately needed. Then tomorrow, when he was out of sight, she could let herself break

Watching her in awe, he felt himself grow stiff again. "If it doesn't mean anything then why do you want more?" He cockily replied even though he could tell she was hanging on by a thread, trying to keep herself together. But he also saw that she needed him to not see the turmoil going on inside her. So, he ignored it because as much as he wanted her to break down and open her heart and soul to him again, she wasn't ready. Besides distracting her with sex was a hell of a lot more satisfying than having her lock herself in the bathroom to get away from him.

Tilting her head, she eyed his powerful erection. He always did have an amazing rebound rate. "Because I already know I'm going to regret this in the morning. Might as well get everything I can out of it."

He was inside her so hard and fast both lamps on the dresser flew to the ground and shattered, but neither gave a damn as they began to once again indulge in the rewards of the flesh.

Hours later, Haley lay fast asleep on top of him, where she had collapsed after their last round, one that had left them both so depleted and so paralyzed with pleasure neither thought they would ever be able to walk again.

Stroking her hair, Nathan fought to keep his eyes open and savor her draped across him as long as he could. The sex was phenomenal, but he craved this just as much…her lying quietly in his arms.

In the past, even when they were rough in their love making, he could still feel her heart behind every move she made. Tonight he didn't and he wasn't sure when he was ever going to again, so for now he'd have to settle for moments like this, where she and the walls around her heart were at rest.

When she awoke he had no doubt she would flee from his embrace, but for now her subconscious was giving him a glimpse of hope. She was clinging to him and ever so often laid feather light kisses on his chest before murmuring his name in her sleep. '_That had to mean something, didn't it?'_

At least tonight proved one thing for sure; their passion was as strong as it ever was, even more if that was possible. They hadn't missed a beat tonight and she couldn't deny it. Nevertheless, he had a long road ahead of him because while he may have won the battle in reclaiming her body, the war to win back her heart was far from over.

* * *

Cath


	8. Light Years Away

**Author's Note:** Hey guys, thank you all for your reviews for the last chapter. I'm so glad you all enjoyed it. I feel the real show is so lacking in showcasing our couple's lust for eachother so I like to live through my fics with them and then some. hehe I hope you all enjoy this chapter, I can't wait to hear your thoughts.  
Thanks to Hana for being an amazing beta!!!!

**Chapter Eight "Light Years Away"**

_It's almost like you had it planned  
It's like you smiled and shook my hand  
and said hey  
I'm about to screw you  
Over big time  
_

_I don't blame you anymore  
that's too much pain to store  
It left me half dead  
inside my head  
And boy looking back I see  
I'm not the girl I used to be_

_That life seems like light years away.  
Light years away._

**_MoZella_**

"Listen you psychotic freak, if you don't tell me where my friend is I'll have the cops here so fast, you won't have time to plug up the peep holes in these disgusting walls," Brooke threatened the now terrified forty-year-old motel manager.

"I promise no girl got a room here alone. The only people who came in were a married couple that I put in the very last room." He looked helplessly over to the blonde man at the door.

Lucas took out his wallet and produced a picture of Haley and him with their arms around each other outside his mother's café and flashed it to the guy. It had been taken their senior year and he always kept in his wallet.

"Have you seen her?" he asked and then snatched it back, securing it in his wallet it once again.

The guy shook his head yes. "Yeah, she the married girl that I was telling you about."

"I told you they were probably together Brooke. I mean, hell, we found his car not far from here." Lucas sighed, already exhausted from this day.

Brooke put her hands on her hips and turned to him. "There is no way in hell Haley would ever share a room with your prick of a brother."

Putting his hands up defensively, Lucas tried to calm her down. "Look, I'm not saying she wanted to, but there is only one thing that scares Haley more than the thought of my brother and that's scary movies. And no offense man," he looked pointedly at the manager," but this place at night, in the pouring rain would definitely seem like something out of a horror movie."

With a huff, Brooke stormed out with Lucas hot on her tail.

"I swear Lucas, if he laid a hand on her…" Brooke threatened as they finally made it to the last door.

Reaching down, Lucas took her hand and squeezed it gently. "Calm down Cheery, let's not jump to conclusions. Besides, Haley is a big girl and Nathan does love her."

Brooke snatched her hand away and began riffling through her purse. "Lucas, I really don't need your bullshit. In fact, I still can't believe you have forgiven him so quickly. I mean, really… what the hell is that? You used to hate him more than anyone for what he did and now you are his big defender," she ranted and smiled triumphantly when she found the bobby pin she needed.

"He's my brother Brooke and maybe I think he and Haley are meant to be together."

She just sent him a glare and began working the lock on the door.

"You know we could just knock."

Hearing the click, Brooke stood back up with her hand on the doorknob. "Yeah we could, but this way I can catch your sadistic asshole of a brother off guard and rescue Haley a hell of a lot easier."

Turning the knob, Brooke flung the door open and light blanketed the room, showcasing Nathan and Haley wrapped in a lover's embrace, content smiles evident on both their faces.

"OH HELL NO!" Brooke shouted in outrage at the top of her lungs.

Haley shot up from her place atop Nathan and inadvertently ended up straddling him, but in her still mostly unconscious haze she was unaware of that fact. She tried to focus, blinking a few times, and finally saw it was Brooke and Lucas standing before her with their mouths agape. Then she felt it.

"Oh god please let that be a flashlight." She pleaded to herself, but as she looked back to the bed, the reality hit her that it was anything _but_ a flashlight and it was attached to none other than Nathan Scott. Putting her face in her hands, she tried to catch her breath as every word and every _touch_ from the night before came rushing back. _'How could she have done this?'_

Stepping forward Brooke yanked Haley's arm and sent Haley tumbling off the bed against her.

Feeling the loss of Haley's body against his, Nathan finally woke up. It was one of those things Haley had always teased him about. There could be a war or a hurricane going on outside and he'd be dead to the world, but if she wanted a drink of water or to use the restroom it was like alarms went off in his head and he was up making sure she was all right.

"What the hell is going on?" he groggily asked sitting up, as he surveyed a naked Haley in Brooke's arms and his brother making a show of covering his eyes.

Ignoring his protests, Brooke grabbed a sheet off the bed and fashioned a secure toga like ensemble on Haley faster than it takes a normal person to tie one shoe. Then Brooke did what she knew Haley needed—she hugged her and Haley let her.

"Hales, are you alright?" Brooke whispered into her ear.

"Just please get me out of here. I can't face this…not now," Haley softly answered, trying with all her might to hold everything in.

Needing to talk to Haley now more than ever, Nathan tried to intervene. "Can you two leave us alone for a second?" He glanced between his brother and Brooke.

Brooke moved Haley protectively behind her and pointed her finger at Nathan with an expression on her face that the devil himself would be afraid of. "I think you've done enough Dickhead. I promise you Nathan, if you ever lay a hand on her again, I'll make damn sure you'll never be able to have any little Nathan's running around to carry on your dirty work."

"Listen Brooke," Nathan started, his annoyance getting the better of him with having to encounter Haley's very own fire breathing dragon this early in the morning.

"Nathan don't," Lucas warned, knowing that if he let Nathan continue on, Brooke would made good on her threat right here right now.

Brooke took her keys out of her purse and opened the door again. "Come on Haley, you and I are getting out of this hell hole and into a nice hot bath. "

Lucas attempted to follow, but Brooke whipped around and stuck her hand out in a halting motion. "Oh I don't think so. Since you seem to be up your brother's ass these days you can just stay with him and figure out your own way home."

"Brooke I need my clothes." Haley tried to protest as the tiny brunette continued to shove her further out the door.

"Oh, honey you don't need a damn thing that's in this room," she proclaimed loud enough for all to hear before slamming the door behind her and dragging Haley off to the car.

Lucas sat down in the only chair in the room and eyed the destruction. Lamps were shattered, towels were everywhere, a painting had fallen behind the headboard, and the mattress was half off the bed. "Shit Nate, did you fucking force her," Lucas accused; disgusted with what had taken place.

Nathan had now gone from annoyed to just plain pissed off. "I can't believe you fucking asked me that. She was the one taunting me and she didn't do a damn thing she didn't want to."

Rubbing his forehead, Lucas tried to keep his oncoming headache at bay. "Sorry, I just hate thinking of Haley doing…well…you know what I mean." He stuttered around the subject, hating whenever he had to imagine his Hales as anything but the eight year old girl he'd made a blood oath pledge with to stay friends forever. "Still, this wasn't the answer Nathan."

"No shit." Nathan grumbled. "But it was the best damn mistake of my life." He added with a grin to which Lucas glared.

"Just get dressed and meet me outside. The tow truck is meeting us in like thirty minutes and since Brooke and Haley ditched us it will take us that long to walk to your car."

"Sounds like a blast," Nathan spouted sarcastically as he fell back against the pillows wondering if Haley would ever let him near her again.

…

"Brooke, thanks for getting me out of there. I just wasn't ready to face it."

Laughing, Brooke turned off the radio as they pulled onto the highway. "Oh you have got to be kidding me? We are so going to face it right now and you're going to let me in on every single dirty detail."

Haley groaned. "It was a mistake Brooke, can we just leave it at that."

"Hmm, let me think about it Tutorslut?" Brooke paused for dramatic effect. "Nope. Now please tell me it was at least hot."

_Nathan's lips were hot and wet as they trailed down her back, his tongue circling her tattoo when he arrived at it. He sat up quickly and Haley rose to all fours, pushing her ass against his rock hard length._

_She heard him moan in appreciation before he slammed into from behind, as he hands dug deep into her hips guiding her with him. She could barely breath he was in so deep. If it wasn't medically impossible she could have sworn his dick was reaching its hilt beneath her chest._

_God, she hadn't had this many orgasms in one night since the last time they were together. No other guy even came close to Nathan's untouchable record._

"Haley?" Brooke interrupted Haley's dirty train of thought.

Embarrassed at where her mind had just been, Haley cleared her throat nervously. "Um, it was fine Brooke."

"Please, I remember back in high school when you two went at it nonstop. You both turned each other into nymphs."

"I wasn't Nathan's first," Haley clarified for Brooke.

Brooke rolled her eyes, "Haley, by all intents and purposes you were. He never ever went as out of his mind like he did for you. The boy had a permanent hard on once he began dating you."

"Can we quit talking about Nathan's hard ons," Haley blew out annoyed, playing with the air vent so she could feel the heat better.

"Yep, just what I thought, it was hot." Brooke proclaimed satisfied that she was once again right.

Haley eyed her oddly. "I thought you would be screaming at me not gloating about the sex being hot."

Sighing Brooke reached over and grabbed Haley's hand. "Hales, I'm not happy this happened, but hell, as long as you made the mistake it might as well be amazing. I mean how much worse would you feel if you gave it up to Nathan and it sucked."

Squeezing Brooke's hand Haley laughed. Brooke always had an uncanning ability to make you smile even at the most confusing of times. "Brooke what do I do now?"

"We could have him bumped off?" Brooke suggested with a wink.

"Hardy har har," Haley deadpanned.

"Ugh, Hales, I don't know what to tell you, but I've learned that opening your legs for a man does not mean you have to open up any other part…well unless you're giving him a blow job, then I guess you have to open up your mouth and also…"

"Brooke," Haley interrupted, her tone signaling for Brooke to get to the point.

"Sorry," she smiled apologetically. "What was I saying again? Oh right, so just chalk this up to the break up sex you never had with him and leave it at that. You don't owe him a damn thing. So quit over analyzing this, it was nothing."

Staring out the window, Haley tried to let Brooke's words calm her fears, but they didn't. Haley was a worrier by nature and not obsessing over what she did the night before was simply not going to happen.

…

Peyton strolled through the door, and dropped her luggage at her feet. "Honeys' I'm home!"

Flying from the kitchen, Brooke grabbed Peyton's arm and pulled her into the kitchen. "Goldilocks, Tutorslut is in trouble."

Giving Brooke a quick once over, Peyton began to laugh. "Alright _Tigger_, care to let me in on why you added slut to Haley's name and why you are covered in cheese?"

"I made Haley's favorite Mac n' Cheese," Brooke boasted as she drew Peyton's attention to the pot of cheesy elbow pasta warming on the stove just as a spokes model would on the '_Price Is Right'_.

"It actually looks edible," Peyton said with genuine surprise evident in her voice. "But now I'm really worried. The closest you ever come to cooking is dialing the phone for delivery and even that is usually too much of a chore for you. So spill Davis."

"Brooke can you help me with this? This is so embarrassing, but I think I have a splinter." Haley begrudgingly admitted as she came from the living room into the kitchen with peroxide, cotton swabs, and a pair of tweezers in her hands. She was wearing only a white lace bra and a terry cloth short skirt that would assist her well in providing Brooke easy access to the area needing the attention.

Looking up she finally noticed someone else was in the room. "Peyton!"

Peyton's mouth dropped when she noticed the bruises and hickeys along the swells of Haley's breasts. Grabbing a reluctant Haley by the shoulders, Peyton turned her around to see her back and there she saw more bruising and some scratches on her shoulder blades that one would obtain after being banged repeatedly against a rough surface—pun intended.

"Oh my god Haley," Peyton gasped as Haley turned back around and this time she had tears in her eyes.

"Damn it Peyton, the entire time she's with me she doesn't cry once and then you come home and look what happens," Brooke bitched as she came up beside them and rubbed Haley's bare arm soothingly.

Blinking the tears away, Haley smiled. "I'm fine Brooke and this is so embarrassing."

Taking the items out of her hands, Peyton guiding Haley to sit on a barstool in front of them, noticing Haley wince in pain when Peyton sat her down. "Ok, I'm guessing the splinter is not on your back," she deduced, trying to keep the laughter out of her voice.

Getting up, Haley bent over across the barstool on her stomach and pushed up her skirt. "Just get this over with."

Immediately Peyton spotted the small inflamed area right in the center of Haley's left butt cheek. "Damn, did you at least give as good as you got?" she quipped as she aimed the tweezers.

Brooke placed a bowl of Mac n' Cheese for Haley on the bar to cool off. "You bet she did P. Sawyer. I only got a glimpse but that boy has her claw marks all over his chest. Let's hope he has a few splinters in some delicate areas as well." She grinned, her voice growing mischievous at the mere thought of him in pain.

"Well, it's about time you and Landon had some worthwhile sex," Peyton laughed, but it died when she felt Haley stiffen and Brooke's eyes sparkle, which usually meant there was a key piece of gossip about to be revealed.

"It was Nathan wasn't it?" Peyton asked already knowing the answer, as she finally extracted the tiny yet defiant piece of wood out of Haley's flesh. "Well, Haley you sure know how to make that boy suffer."

"OUCH and Shut up." Haley gripped, but shut her own mouth fast as Peyton dabbed the area with an alcohol soaked cotton ball.

Grabbing a forkful of Haley's pasta, Brooke faced the two of them. "She may have given it up, but like I said she can just chalk it up to the break up sex she never got. I mean you can have sex with an ex and it mean nothing."

Peyton gave her a doubtful look. "Oh so if you had sex with say Lucas it would mean nothing?"

"For your information, I did and it doesn't." Brooke placed the forkful of cheesy goodness in her mouth.

"WHAT!" Haley and Peyton both shouted out in unison and Haley bolted upright, pulling her skirt back down.

"I slept with Lucas last night, it's no biggy. I was bored, he came looking for you Haley, and a few drinks later wham bam thank you ma'am, then thank you again ma'am." Brooke explained as casually as if describing picking up her dry cleaning.

"Was that why you called me yesterday to ask if I still had the hots for Lucas?" Peyton eyed her suspiciously.

Brooke grinned. "Yeah, I just didn't want any of that icky high school stuff coming back up."

Yanking her fork back from Brooke Haley dug into her food, but stayed standing, knowing sitting wasn't a comfortable option for a bit. "Just please don't ever let me walk in on you two."

Scoffing in protest, Brooke took off the _'fondle the cook'_ apron that had been given to one of them as a gag gift a few years back. She had found it so amusing that it had been made a rule that whoever cooked had to be adorned in it.

"There will be no next time. Like I said it was post break up sex and doesn't mean a damn thing. I swear you two always have to make such a big deal about sex and what it means. I'm telling you Haley, put it out of your mind. He was just a dick you happened to ride regularly a few years back, nothing more nothing less. Once you get in that mindset, life will be much simpler and you'll be bulletproof," she declared, blowing them a kiss before she waltzed over to the entertainment center and began picking out a selection of chick flicks for their weekly Sunday night movie marathon.

…

'_Bulletproof?'_ Haley had been running that term through her head for the last two hours since she bid the girls' goodnight. If only she could shut off her mind, but it was useless. Nathan Scott had invaded her every thought once again and at around three am she decided he wasn't going to leave them anytime soon.

She had to find a plan _'B'_ and she couldn't help but smile when she made the connection that bulletproof started with a '_B'. _Then it hit her like a truck. Keep your friends close and your enemies' closer.

That was it; that was the only way to keep Nathan from ever getting near her heart, keeping him close in another form. That way she would always know what he was up to, no sneak attacks and no pressure. Yes, it was a risk letting him into her life in any form, but if the night before was any indication of what pushing him away induced, she had to take control in another way.

After all, none of this was healthy anyway. She used to pride herself in forgiveness and carrying around bitterness wasn't a way to live. Maybe if she finally forgave him, she could truly find closure to her life with him and never fear his presence anymore. There would never be any more wasted energy in hating or loving Nathan Scott because once she forgave him, her heart would have the freedom to truly move on. And maybe then someone could finally break through the walls that she had spent so long building.

…

"HOLD ON!" Nathan shouted, as he made his way downstairs to his front door, in nothing but a pair of gray Nike workout pants he'd grabbed off his bedroom floor.

Looking through the peephole, he spotted a bundled up Haley pacing back and forth. "Jesus, Haley it's freezing out there and the middle of the night. What are you doing here?" he questioned after jerking open the door and pulling her quickly inside.

"We need to talk," she stated bluntly as she took off her black suede jacket and cashmere scarf from her around her neck, placing them both neatly on a metal coat rack by the door.

"Okay," he blindly agreed while appreciating the view of her bending over removing her boots that were covered in the snow that had just begun to fall that evening.

She was left in jeans, white socks, and a light pink thermal shirt. Her hair was piled in a messy bun atop her head, her cheeks were flushed from the cold, and she was so God damn beautiful. It took everything in him not to bring her into his arms and never let go.

Five minutes later Nathan was sitting uncomfortably in a side leather chair watching as Haley surveyed the living room.

Haley ran her fingers over a picture of her and Nathan on the beach, her between his legs, their eyes locked on each others that Peyton had taken when they weren't looking. Then there was the state championship photo of their smiling lips pressed together that the entire world had gotten to see in the last issue of Sports Illustrated.

Deciding she had to get this over with she sat in the chair opposite him, her posture perfectly upright, in order to show him she was not going to get comfortable.

"So, here's the deal Nathan. Don't talk, just listen. Alright?"

He stayed quiet.

"Aren't you going to answer me?" she huffed out.

He gave her a sly smile. "You told me not to talk."

"Don't get cute," she admonished. "Look I know we had sex last night and I know you are fully aware of that, but I'm just putting it out there that I have accepted it was not just some horrid nightmare and that I am not in denial. _But,_ just because we had sex does not mean there is anything between us. It was purely physical and will never happen again," She hurriedly rambled out.

Nathan looked up at that, biting his lip to hold back the _'I love a challenge,'_ comment that was on the edge of his tongue.

"It did clarify some things for me though," she continued, animatedly moving her hands about for emphasis. "It's clear I can't push you away short of a restraining order and I'm not even sure that would stop you." She paused to give him a knowing look to which he winked.

"Anyway, here's what's going to happen. I will let you back into my life as a friend, but make no mistake you are barely above an acquaintance in the friend category and this is purely probationary. If you screw up, I will relocate to the witness protection if I have to. This is not up for debate; you either take it or leave it. Ok now you can speak."

"Well…um what are these terms of friendship? Can we go out alone?"

Haley laughed. "Not anytime soon, no. Prove to me you won't manhandle me when you get the chance and you're security level might elevate."

'_What choice did he have?'_ Sure, being "just" friends with Haley would never be enough, but still he could work with it. Because lord knows she didn't trust him as far as she could throw him. Maybe this was a way to earn it back and at the same time show her that she wasn't over him.

"Alright, you have deal." Nathan stood and stuck out his hand.

She gave him a cautious look. "That was too easy. So you're just going to give up on anything more with me?

"That was never part of the deal Hales. I'll do what you ask, just don't be surprised if you find yourself changing the rules." He smirked.

Hesitantly, she stuck her hand out and he grasped it tightly with his, knowing she felt the electricity that sizzled between them from the simple touch as much as he did.

Jerking back her hand, she felt the blush creep up her neck towards her cheeks and prayed he hadn't noticed. "Well, ok then. Um, I need to get back before Brooke sends the dogs after you."

Damn, she was blushing. '_Oh how he'd missed that.'_

Flashback… 

"_Nathan will you please focus." Haley tapped her pencil on the book that lay open in front him, trying to lure him back to philosophy._

"_Sorry. I guess I'm a little distracted today." In truth, he was just plain exhausted. His dad had woken him up at four am to start their work out. _

_She rolled her eyes, as she often did during their sessions, which were becoming more and more frequent lately. "What's the bimbos name? Or have you gone back to wanting Peyton."_

"_Hell no," Nathan swiftly corrected her. He wasn't sure why he felt the need to make sure that was clear to her, but nevertheless here he was. _

_In truth, he hadn't thought about Peyton for the longest time, hell he hardly ever thought about her while they were dating. Basically their relationship was about as dysfunctional as you could get and the only reason he ever tried to get her back at first was because Lucas wanted her. If it had been any other guy he would have wrapped Peyton up in a bow and handed her over to them; of course now he didn't care either way. While he still didn't want Lucas to have the girl, the girl had transformed in his mind and the reason wasn't just for goading his brother anymore._

_The girl now was Haley and he found himself more intrigued by her than any other girl he'd ever known in his life and he found himself envying Lucas more and more with each day he spent with her. He honestly couldn't see how Lucas could want any other girl with Haley by his side. She was beautiful, sweet, feisty, and was the first person to ever make him feel like he actually mattered in this world, even without his basketball talent._

_It had only been three weeks since they started their sessions, and he couldn't even remember a time in his life before her. Well, technically he could, he just didn't want to. Before having her to confide in, his life was a series of chaotic events that left him screaming on the inside and while his life was still very chaotic, with her now in his life he'd found a break in the storm…a safe haven. One that he was already starting to think he could never give up. Which was why he hadn't shoved her against a wall and kissed her senseless yet, he didn't want to scare her off. He knew she was utterly devoted to Lucas, so he had to bide his time and pray she began to crave him as much as he had her._

"_So what did you think of that last chapter?" Haley interrupted his thoughts, a hair away from hitting him in the head with the pencil. _

"_I don't get all this soul talk. Old souls, new souls, what's the difference?"_

_Haley sat her chin atop her joined hands and gazed out at the water. "To me old souls are the people you meet that seem wise beyond their years and have this allure in them that can translate in any world past or present. Then there are the new souls that struggle to find their way more and often make a lot of mistakes before they learn what their true path is. Still, at the same time new souls and old souls can compliment the other in the sense that they balance each other out and can both learn from each other if they just open themselves to the possibility." She wanted to kick herself for saying that last line, especially since she heard her own words take on a flirty tone._

_Nathan nodded in new understanding and pulled at her wrist that bore the crackerjack bracelet he had given her and sat her hand down on the table palm side up. It was a habit they had stated about a week ago. He would softly began to play with the bracelet and when he was brave enough he would run his fingers under the beads and feel her creamy skin beneath. _

_Her pulse always quickening beneath his callused fingers and an incredibly sexy blush would come across her cheeks and other areas if he was lucky. Sometimes he'd branch down to her palm and softly trace the lines exposed to him and that simple gesture always turned him on beyond belief. In fact, he almost always had to walk with his backpack in front of him after their sessions._

"_So that would definitely make you an old soul," he softly stated, as his fingers slipped beneath the colorful beads, wondering if he had imaged her sharp intake of breath._

_Blushing at his ministrations and subsequent tingling, she locked eyes with him. "Is that a good thing to you because sometimes I don't think so." _

"_What do you mean?"_

_Looking out at the water again she sighed quietly. "I don't know, it's just sometimes I feel like I don't belong. As if, I was meant to be born in a different time. I know I'm probably making no sense, but sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be one of those girls that truly acted like they were sixteen, whose only thoughts are of partying, boys and shopping."_

_Taking her hand in his, he ran his thumb over the center of her palm. "Yeah you're not like those typical girls and you should be proud of that. You're not some slutty airhead, you're beautiful, kind, passionate, and you may not show it that often but I know you have a wicked streak in you somewhere or you wouldn't still be tutoring me." He smirked._

"_Beautiful and passionate? Please," she rebuffed, trying to take her hand from his, but he wouldn't budge._

"_Are you kidding me? Damn it Haley do you ever look at yourself in the mirror? Sure you don't slut it up like the other girls and wear a pound of make up, because you don't have to. You're just naturally hot."_

_She was now becoming beet red and it turned him on beyond belief. Even her chest and the tops of her breasts bore a pink hue, which he could see very nicely in the scoop neck baby blue shirt she was wearing. Thankfully his height gave him optimal viewing capacity. Still, even without the blush he'd be staring at them._

_Hell, even when they were covered with a semi clingy T-shirt he couldn't stop ogling because he could still see the glorious outline of them. And one day last week he'd almost died when he'd discovered she wasn't wearing a bra thanks to the cool breeze from the river. He'd been forced to run home and "relieve" himself before returning back to school. Her rack was just seriously a phenomenal sight not to be missed. _

"_Stop saying that."_

_For a second he wondered if he had said that out loud, but quickly realized she was referring to his "hot" comment due to the fact that he was pretty sure she'd slug him or throw him the river if he began discussing her rack to her. "What? It's the truth. You've got that natural beauty other girls would kill for and the passionate part? Let's just say I would love to see all that energy you use insulting me and defending Lucas put to other strenuous yet mind-blowing uses. _

"_You are such a perv." She admonished and pulled her hand back and this time he let her knowing when not to push her._

"_So what kind of soul I am anyway James?"_

_Running a hand through her auburn locks she giggled, something she used to make fun of other girls for, yet seemed to find herself doing it all the times around the raven haired Scott. "Well, let's see, I think you are a brand spanking new soul, all shiny and everything."_

_He rubbed his hands together conspiratorially. "Hmm, how bout we rub our souls together till you can't tell which soul begins and ends?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively._

"_In you dreams Scott."_

"_Oh you better believe it James." He promised and by the look in her eye and the blush she still wore he could tell she didn't doubt him for a second and that she herself had been indulging in some fantasies of her own._

_End of Flashback_

"Will you ever be able to forgive me?" he suddenly asked, once his head got out of the past and he realized she was leaving.

Facing him again atop the staircase, she sighed, her heart suddenly much heavier in her chest. "Once I dug deep enough I realized that I do forgive you Nathan, I just don't think I'll ever be able to forget."

Turning to go, she almost wanted to laugh at how ironic her words were. She had fought for five years to bury the pain and now those same memories were her only weapon. Because as long as she kept the pain within reach, Nathan would forever be at their mercy. And maybe it was wrong, but a part of her wanted him to suffer. After all, it was _his_ cross to bear at the same time that it was _her_ justice and she couldn't give that up—not now—maybe not ever.

Once he heard she was gone, he sat dejectedly back in his seat. It was amazing how bi-polar loving Haley was making him feel lately. Hearing her say she would let him be apart of her life was one of the best feelings in his life, but her parting words felt like a punch in the gut. '_What did he really expect though?' _

Her forgiveness was just a product of her grace, not her love for him. And her unwavering memories were just a product of the heart _he_ broke.

* * *

Cath


	9. If I Handle You With Care

**Author's Note:** Thanks you guys sooooooo much for all the replies. I know I say this a million times, but your reviews are what truly keep me writing. ;) I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Big things are coming up in this story, so I hope you all stay tuned. Ok and I just said stayed tuned, but I'm not sure if that counts in regards to reading, but y'all know what I meant. hehe

Thanks to the amazing Christina for beta-ing and this is to all the Joy lovers who fell inlove with her all over again after watching her oh so adorable podcast. :)

And last but certainly not least, this is also dedicated to the wonderful Jess who I lost big time too in our bet. She rules, I drool. Hehe. I will win the next one; you can count on that. Haha. Love ya!!

**Chapter Nine "If I Handle You With Care"**

_I won't bring things up, if upon them you don't touch.  
If that's what you want, it's whatever you want.  
I couldn't be more clear, how day or night I'm here.  
So we'll leave it there, we'll leave it there. _

Just never stop singing your song  
I hadn't heard it in so long.  
And if I handle you with care  
It doesn't mean I don't think you are strong.

_Whatever we have seen, it's just you and me, I haven't gone.  
You're right to believe, I'll always keep you safe from harm.  
I'll always keep you safe from harm.  
I won't bring things up, if upon them you don't touch.  
If that's what you want, it's whatever you want._

_Trembling Blue Stars_

In an oversized gray Tree Hill high T-shirt—that could have belonged to either Scott brother back in the day—and pink with tiny black polka dot boy shorts, Haley lay sprawled out face down on her bathroom floor. The stark chill of the tile gave her a tiny ounce of reprieve from her body turning against her.

The last couple days had been a blur. Two weeks earlier, after her tentative friendship with Nathan was struck, Brooke had been assigned to fly to Paris for a few days for an exclusive peak at what the designers would be debuting in February when they began their six week dash of fashion weeks around the globe. Citing that Haley needed a break and that Peyton could spend her days soaking up the Paris art world, Brooke convinced them to join her.

For nearly the entire trip, each of them had been in heaven. Peyton and Haley had even persuaded Brooke to tour a museum or two with them, to which Brooke surprisingly didn't mind once she discovered the amount of nudity that was portrayed. Then a day before they left, it hit them hard…the flu that is. The plane ride home was the most miserable experience of their lives, and once they landed, a quick stop at a local hospital confirmed that they had a sever strain of said flu with a side of Rotavirus that left them incapable of keeping anything down.

Pushing herself up with the palms of her hands, Haley slowly got up and managed to make her way to the living room, suddenly freezing and needing the warmth of the fireplace.

A series of coughs alerted her that Brooke had taken up it upon of herself to pick the coziest and subsequently warmest place in the house.

"Brooke, move over." Haley grumbled as she plopped down right on top of Brooke's legs forcing the brunette to remove them from under Haley.

"Haley I was here first." Brooke whined before quickly grabbing a tissue and sneezing.

"No way, I was here before you until I got sick again and you stole it from me." Haley threw back, yanking some of Brooke's covers away from her.

Emerging from another bathroom Peyton set her sights on the couch. "Both of you shut the hell up and make room for me." She demanded as she wiggled her way in between her fellow flu sufferers.

Hearing a knock on their front door all three groaned and yelled, abet with hoarse voices, for Lucas to just come in.

Awkwardly, he opened the door, revealing the fact he was struggling with arms full of groceries, mostly in liquid form, seeing as nothing was solid was going to make it more than a minute or two in their state.

The girls barely looked up until they heard another person enter behind Lucas, ranting about Lucas being a pussy for carrying the lighter loads.

Brooke immediately went into defense mode. She hadn't accepted Haley's decision to let Nathan back in, and she highly doubted she ever would. "Lucas, did you have to let a stray dog in?"

Nathan's eyes cut sharply to Brooke. "No worries Brooke. Just think of me as one of the losers I'm sure you expose Haley too during your nightly dial a fucks."

Feeling Haley tense a bit beside her, Brooke clamped her mouth shut and reserved her comeback for a time when it could be fully appreciated.

Lucas looked to Haley to make sure she was all right with Nathan being there. In response, she stuck her tongue out at him, which in Lucas and Haley world meant all was fine.

"Please tell me you have a gun in one of those bags?" Peyton quipped, rubbing at her temples as the pounding in her head refusing to be ignored.

Digging through one of the bags, Lucas produced a bottle of Nyquil and the emerald green color immediately caught Brooke's eye. "Oh, pretty, give me give me!"

After obliging her, Brooke began to hold the bottle up to the light and giggle at it with amazement.

Annoyed, Peyton yanked it from Brooke's grasp. "Brooke you have the attention span of a newborn."

"And you have the body of a ten year old boy," Brooke snit back.

Turning her head slightly, Haley quietly observed as Lucas and Nathan made quick work of stocking their fridge as Brooke and Peyton continued to trade barbs from either side of her. Her mind began to drift as the past began to envelop her.

Flashback… 

"_Haleyyyyyy. I said I was sorry." Brooke pouted atop what had pretty much come to be Nathan and Haley's bed ever since Haley's parents had taken off on a two-month RV trip. She hadn't "officially" moved in yet since their engagement, a month before, but everyone knew that if it wasn't the apartment bed they were sharing it was the one in Haley's childhood bedroom. It was nothing new with those two though; they'd been inseparable ever since their first kiss._

_Mustering what little energy she had, Haley rolled her eyes as Nathan's zombie like figure collapsed into the bed on the other side of her._

_Instinctively, Nathan sidled up behind Haley and wrapped a protect arm around her waist, pulling her tighter to him. "Brooke save it. If you weren't such a whore, who likes to kiss my girl on the lips everytime you say good bye we wouldn't have mono._

"_Takes an ex whore to know one, and for your information Haley likes to drink after me so technically she didn't have to get it from my lips. Or she could be making out with the captain of the baseball team behind your back. After all, you all just assume I'm the carrier because I screwed him a few times, maybe I'm just covering for Haley. I mean she is the one who actually showed symptoms and consequently gave it to you."_

"_Brooke!" Haley's hoarse voice managed to cry out in outrage as Nathan's grip on her tightened, in an attempt to control his temper._

_Brooke bottom lip jutted out. "Sorry. I just hate that I got you sick Haley. And your fiancé over there keeps reminding me it's my fault because I'm a slut."_

_Haley smiled and patted Brooke's knee. "Aw, you're not a slut, Tigger. Don't listen to him. How could you have known anyway?"_

_Cheering up, and ignoring Nathan's derogatory mumbles, Brooke kissed Haley square on the lips with a big 'muwah' for emphasis. "I love you Tutorbride."_

"_Brooke quit being a lesbo" Nathan bitched and Lucas took that exact time to come in. _

"_Um, I don't need to picture my ex and my best friend getting it on." Lucas shuddered as he took a seat in a chair across from them all._

_Peyton, who had been lying on the floor, enthralled in one of her sketches, decided to finally pipe in. "You're telling me you never had a sex dream about Haley?" _

_Brooke giggled and bounced up and down on the bed. "Oh juicy! I knew Lucas gave Haley the nod way before Nathan."_

"_Both of you shut up." Nathan warned and sat up a bit allowing Haley to turn and use his chest to prop up so she could have a better view of what had now become their audience._

_Sitting up, Peyton shrugged. "What? It's human nature. I bet Lucas even remembers the exact date he saw Haley and noticed she'd grown boobies." _

_Haley shot her a disgusted look. _

"_Please stop this conversation." Lucas begged, not being able to look anyone in the eye._

_Hearing the apartment door open, all five paused and mentally counted the people in the room and couldn't imagine who else would just walk on in. _

"_Hey Dawgs, your neighbors were eyeing me. I don't think they've ever seen a black dude come up in here." Skillz joked as his waltzed into the crowded room and after a quick evaluation opted to park it on the floor next to Peyton. _

_Haley smiled. "Nah, they were just in awe of your greatness." _

_Skillz pointed at her in agreement "Damn straight little girl. So, what did I walk in on that's got my man Luke over there so red in the face?"_

"_Oh Perfect." Brooke grinned. "Skillz, you of all people would know this. Did Lucas ever have any "special" dreams of our Hales here?"_

_Skillz rubbed his hands together, enjoying the power he suddenly had. "You bet your ass he did." He chuckled. "That boy used to call me up freaking out over this recurring dream of finding Haley butt ass naked jumping up and down after hitting a hole in one on that golf course the two of them built. Then he'd take her in his arms, those were his words by the way, and they'd make sweet sweet love underneath those neon signs."_

_Brooke and Peyton doubled over in laughter._

_Bringing the comforter over her head, Haley sank into Nathan. "I will never play miniature golf again." Her muffled voice declared dramatically._

"_Aw, I think it's sweet." Brooke cooed. "It's Dawson/Joey lovin'!"_

"_As soon as I can lift my fist, you're fucking dead Luke." Nathan threatened, his voice showing no signs of humor._

"_Relax Nathan. I'm sure, it was before you conned her into spending the rest of her life with you." Peyton quipped closing her sketchpad._

_Skillz nodded. "Yeah, Dawg way before. All us RC boys had them dreams; it was no big deal. Of course mine usually focused on making use out of those bleachers." _

_Lucas crossed his arms across his chest. "You all suck."_

_Jumping up, Brooke sauntered over and planted herself sideways in Lucas's lap, her legs dangling over the arm of the chair. "Relax Broody, we still love you, even if you are a little pervy. Now tell what that day was?"_

_Lucas faked throwing her on the floor and Brooke slugged him in the shoulder._

"_What date?" Skillz asked as he grabbed Peyton's pad and started flipping though, something that didn't appear to bother Peyton._

"_The day Haley got boobs." Brooke answered promptly._

_Skillz laughed into a closed fist. "Ha, oh man that would be August 14__th__, the day Haley got back from a summer with her grandparents, right before our 7__th__ grade year or as us RC boys call it "D day"."_

_Haley's eyes opened in shock. "Wait, I've heard every single one of you joke about "D Day" and you're telling me it was about me the whole time?"_

_Lucas blushed profusely and tried to find an interesting spot on the wall. _

"_Lucas Scott, you better define "D day" right this second." Haley demanded to which Lucas gulped._

_Sensing Luke's loss of voice Skillz carried on for him. "Haley you came walking up in these short white shorts and this baby blue tank top and we all let out a 'Damnnnn' and "D day" was born. I can't believe you never caught on darlin'. Hell, we used to throw the ball out of bounds left and right just so you'd run after it and bend over and we even let you finally start playing with us so we'd get the chance to guard you." _

_Nathan glared at Skillz. "Seriously man…why are you torturing me?"_

"_Hey nothing personal Nate. You're girl just happened to be in the line of fire. We ain't blind man. She's got the ultimate T 'n' A combo going on."_

_Popping her head back from the covers, Haley focused on Skillz and subsequently changed the subject. "Where's Bevin?"_

"_My honey had to take off for her brother's graduation, but she's coming back to see her big daddy tonight."_

"_Her brother is sooooo hot " Brooke gushed, her eyes glazing over with lust as her fingers continued to idly play with Lucas's watch not really aware his arm was lying across her bare thighs, thanks to the denim skirt she was donning. _

_Haley observed them for a quiet moment and it was kind of amazing how two people who had such a bitter break up could still be so natural with one another. Brooke was always affectionate, so her being in Lucas's lap didn't shock her, but the little things, like her playing with his watch is what got Haley. It wasn't an affectionate gesture so much as a content one. And Haley never saw Brooke display that emotion with any other male whether he was just a friend of more. _

_Even Lucas surprised Haley and she'd known him most her life. Brooke Davis in his lap last year would have sent him into a sweaty mess, however, now he seemed utterly at peace even after being humiliated mere minutes before. Brooke always seemed to have a calming affect on him where as others had a more chaotic. And that was the opposite she had ever expected with Brooke Davis, who was a fireball of energy. Nevertheless it was apparent they brought out some great qualities in the other._

"_Can I just ask why the fuck all of you are actually here when Hales and I are barely alive?" Nathan's agitated question interrupted her thoughts._

_Those in question just kind of stared at each other for a second until as usual Brooke came up with a one of a kind answer. "Because you're Naley." She sweetly spoke._

_Everyone laughed, including Nathan this time, thus lightening the mood by a million. And they all knew Brooke was right. Ever since Nathan and Haley had proclaimed their engagement, the two of them had kind of brought everyone else together. Before, Brooke and Peyton were barely speaking, let alone giving Lucas a second chance at friendship with either. Not to mention Lucas was on the verge of moving away until realizing he wanted to be apart of the upcoming wedding and their everyday lives. _

_Pretty quickly they all formed this sort of family that no one outside of their group really understood. Sure they had outside friends, such as Skillz, Bevin and a few random others, but no one could really penetrate or recreate the bonds that the five of them had created._

_End Of Flashback..._

Someone placing something cold in her hand brought Haley out of her memories. Glancing down she noticed it was a banana ice Popsicle.

"Gross, is that banana?" Brooke looked on with disgust, her nose crinkled.

"Its Haley's favorite." Nathan informed her, as he gave Haley a shy smile before returning back to the kitchen.

Unwrapping, the frozen treat, Haley began to lick the tip gradually. Afraid, if she didn't take it slowly, she'd be running back to the bathroom.

"You know ogling someone with the flu is a bit much." Lucas enlightened his brother as he placed a pot on the stove.

Tearing his eyes away from the site of Haley sucking on a long wide object, Nathan turned the burner on high to get the water boiling. "Sick or not, Haley always looks gorgeous."

Lucas gave him a sigh that clearly indicated Nathan was hopeless and went about cutting up a raw chicken.

Nathan leaned back against the counter, watching his brother intently. "Do you even know what you're doing?"

"My mother is the queen of chicken noodle." Lucas boasted, puffing out his chest, as if that automatically made him the prince.

"Yeah, well, if it's all the same to you I'll stick to Karen's." Nathan paused and turned back just in time to see Haley bolt out the room with her hand covering her mouth. As if on autopilot, he took off after her only to have Brooke reach out and grab his wrist as he passed the couch.

"Brooke she's sick." Nathan looked at his wrist, expecting her to remove it and let him go.

"Over my dead body will you help her."

"Well, from the looks of it, I don't have to wait long." Nathan provoked. "Now, let me the fuck go." He jerked hard, freeing his wrist.

Brooke stood on top of the coach, wobbling a bit at her sudden movements. "Stop it right there Scott!"

"Brooke, why can't you just let Haley live her life?" Nathan blew out exhausted with Brooke's constant roadblocks.

"Because you're poison Nathan. She cried for months over your ass, she cried so hard she literally made herself sick you bastard. There were some nights Peyton and I were terrified Haley would just give up on life all together. She deserves someone that will never hurt her and can't you see that's not you? Jesus, you left her for dead Nathan and I promise you, I'll spend my last breath making damn sure you never get the chance again." Brooke solemnly vowed—her words thick with emotion, sending the room into a tension filled silence save for the bubbling of the _now_ boiling water.

Hanging his head, Nathan knew he didn't have a leg to stand on, in fact it was becoming abundantly clear that he didn't even have a right to breath the same air as the people that had truly been Haley's support system, whereas he had only failed her.

"Uh, I'm just going to tell Haley goodbye and then I'll head out." Nathan sullenly informed them, his eye still focused on the floor.

Lucas opened his mouth to respond, however, words failed him. Bowing his own head he focused on cooking.

Sitting down, Brooke accepted Peyton's hand and clutched it tightly, as she fought back her tears.

Peyton pushed past any sympathy she felt with Nathan and focused on Brooke. No one really understood the depth of Brooke's feelings towards Haley. Ironically Nathan was probably the only person in the room that could rival Brooke's love of Haley, even though they were two completely separate forms.

Brooke and Haley had been close before Nathan left, but afterwards they seemed to connect on an entirely other realm, one that not even Peyton could fully grasp. Maybe it was because Brooke had a taste of Haley's hell when Lucas, her first love, broke her heart or because Brooke always saw Haley and Nathan as the parent's of their group, ones that had a love she could only wish her own parent's had shared. And when Nathan walked away, he destroyed Brooke's happy family, destroyed her security and most importantly destroyed the one girl that had supported Brooke more than her own mother ever had and that was unforgivable.

It used to hurt some that Brooke had come to see Haley as the one person she could unconditionally trust, but it quickly diminished when Peyton realized the pain she had caused Brooke with Lucas. Peyton had chosen a boy over their friendship and even if Brooke had forgiven her a million times over, Peyton knew there was always something subconscious in Brooke that would keep the two of them from ever being exactly the same.

Still, Peyton saw it as a positive now. Because maybe without her mistakes back then, it might have only been the two of them all these years and neither could imagine their life without Haley.

…

Her eyes were closed as she lay on her side, shivering beneath a cloud of blankets.

Once he reached her bedside, he brushed his fingers across her much too hot forehead, causing her eyes to softly flutter open.

They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity, until she pulled the covers back and turned away from him.

Taking her cue, he slipped off his shoes and climbed into the bed, his chest against her back. Cautiously, his arms came to encircle her waist and for a brief moment her breathing stilled as if unsure of the change, but soon she relaxed in his arms, allowing him to pull her closer.

He wasn't an idiot, he knew it must be killing her to let him in her bed, but he also knew that one of her greatest fears was being sick and alone. She confessed that before she met him, her mom would still crawl into bed with her when she didn't feel well. Once, they started dating, though, he took over that role and from her actions today, no one must have taken his spot and he couldn't help the immense relief he felt.

Regardless, he knew he couldn't put too much meaning into this act. He wouldn't take advantage of her state and hold it over her head in the days to come. All he would do was enjoy whatever time she gave him and let her know that he wasn't going anywhere.

Feeling his chin atop her head and her entire body tucked into his, Haley ached to feel repulsion, but it wouldn't come. All she felt was comfort; the same comfort Nathan spoke of the morning after he collapsed on the basketball court and came to see her. He had looked into her eyes that night and told her that he needed and wanted her and that…_'nothing else matters'_.

Looking back, that was the moment she knew she had fallen in love with him. The honesty and vulnerability that shown in his eyes took her breath away. She remembered how they held each other all night, shared never ending kisses, and just reveled in their new fond intimacy. Even now, she could honestly say it was one of the best nights of her life.

'_He broke your heart Haley'_, she abruptly reminded herself and hastily buried that night back in the past where it belonged, leaving only the pain of remembering it behind.

Still, she remained in his arms; unable to give up peace she felt nor the sleep she knew she'd finally get by staying locked in his embrace.

Pushing Haley's door open slightly, Brooke peaked in and her heart fell at the familiar scene. She couldn't even begin to count the number of times she barged into Nathan and Haley's apartment in Tree Hill and found them in this exact position.

Brooke had come into the room prepared to scream at Nathan to let Haley go, to go back from wherever he had been the past five years, to just let Haley live her life without the pain he'd surely cause, but she was too defeated now. Too defeated by the soft smile that played across Haley's lips and by the memories of the love she witnessed all those years ago rushing back to her.

All the 'I love yous', all the stolen glances, all the passionate kisses, all the amazing changes she saw in Nathan, all the bliss she saw in Haley, all the romantic nights Nathan planned and all the love that surrounded them anytime they were together..

"Brooke?" Lucas whispered as he placed a hand on the brunette's shoulder.

Closing the door quietly, Brooke turned to face Lucas, a single tear trailing down her right cheek. "I'm…I'm so…scared for her."

Her broken words were faint, but the raw emotion behind them was immeasurable. Reaching up, Lucas brushed the tear from her cheek just before it reached the edge of her mouth. "I am too." He confessed, letting his hand now travel soothingly up and down her arm.

"Really?"

He gave her a small smile. "Really…_but _I also trust Haley."

Biting her lower lip, in a habit she'd adopted from Haley, Brooke nodded in understanding before looking back up at him with determination. "I'll never trust him Luke."

Taking her hand, he rubbed his thumb across the back of it. "Haley may never either Brooke, but she has to find that out on our own, we both know that."

With a sigh and once last look towards Haley's door, Brooke allowed Lucas to lead her away; away from the past and into what had clearly become their present, with the Scott boys once again along for the ride, whether she liked it or not.

* * *

Cath


	10. Future Games

**Author's Note:** Thank you all for your amazing reviews of the last chap. This chapter I'm posting now I obsessed over big time, especially the end, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed y'all like it. This chapter is a HUGE turning point for the story and I can't wait to get your reaction.

Thanks to the amazing Hana for doing such an amazing job beta-ing!! You rock times a million!! And thank you Jess for not letting me chuck this whole chapter out when I got frustrated. Haha.

Oh and I can't remember the very sweet reviewer who said this in regards to one of my stories(I'm about to read back and find out), but she told me actually typing the word Flashback took away from the flow of the story and I just now really looked at the chapters and realized she was right, so from now on they will be left out. LOL So, Just remember flashbacks are in Italics. ;)

**Chapter Ten "Future Games"**

_  
I did a thing last night  
You know those future games  
I turned off all the lights  
_

_Oh, the future came  
You were by my side  
Will you explain-oh yeah  
Real rhyme or reason for those future games _

Now you were there last night  
And oh were you afraid  
Of things we'd come upon  
While playing future games  
But baby it's alright and so have faith  
Oh yeah, you invent the future that you want to faceYou better take your time  
You know there's no escape  
The future sends a sign  
Of things we will create

_**Fleetwood Mac  
**_

Stepping outside of her building, for the first time in three weeks, Haley felt renewed, yet a tad too chilly as a small gust of wind swirled around her. Tightening the belt of her black cashmere trench, which she was currently wearing over a pair of slim dark jeans and an ice blue turtleneck, she walked a few feet towards a randomly parked car.

Giving a quick glance at her refection in the passenger side window, she grinned happily at what greeted her. It was definitely a great day for hair and as Brooke had taught her, a good hair day always means you'll have good luck…_or was it a good fuck?_ She wasn't sure; of course, knowing Brooke it was probably the latter.

Venturing down the block a bit, she had just turned the corner when she felt a pair of arms grab her from behind, but instead of screaming she just laughed.

"How'd you know it was me?" Lucas pouted, freeing her and beginning to walk side by side with her

"Because you've been wearing the same Calvin Klein cologne since we were in junior high."

After punching her playfully in the arm, the two feel into a comfortable silence. Both simultaneously thinking how time had done nothing to deter their bond.

"So, what's going on with you and Brooke?" Haley inquired, a few minutes later, as they continued their leisurely stroll through the streets of their neighborhood. The funny thing was that if you flashed back ten years they'd be doing the same thing on the much quieter streets of Tree Hill.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Lucas smirked, ignoring the look of outrage on his best friend's face.

Poking him in the shoulder with a black gloved finger, she kept pushing. "I saw you sneaking out of her room this morning…oh and don't even get me started on all those little intense talks Peyton and I keep interrupting between you two…yep something's definitely going on."

"Ugh fine. I could use your help anyway."

"Really? Hmm, maybe if you buy me a hotdog I'll consider it," she teased as she inhaled the scent of vendors getting ready for lunch.

"You drive a hard bargain, but you got a deal. So, onto Brooke…" He paused to help them both bypass a construction area on the sidewalk. "Anyway, I guess things really changed, for me at least, once I started taking care of you guys. She really loves you Hales and I got a glimpse of who she really is again and I'm falling…_hard_."

Grabbing his arm, she stopped them both and jumped into arms, hugging his neck tightly. "Oh my God this is so great!" she squealed into his ear.

Lucas chuckled. "Yeah, I think it is, but I'm not so sure about Brooke." He admitted, hugging her back, before setting her down on her high heel black leather boots, ones with toes so pointy Lucas was sure they could be classified as a deadly weapon.

"What do you mean?" Haley prodded, as they continued down the sidewalk.

"I don't think she could ever trust me again. I mean I think I'm making progress and then I just hit this wall with her. Like this morning when we woke up and she discovered my arms were around her, she freaked and called me clingy."

Stepping over an open sewer grate, Haley stifled the urge to slap Lucas upside the head. "Lucas, you cheated on her with her best friend. Call me crazy, but that kind of gives her the right to some extra time adjusting…"

"That was high school." Lucas quickly dismissed; before realizing how his words could be interpreted.

"So, I should just get over what Nathan did because it was in high school?" Haley bit out, even though she knew Lucas hadn't meant it that way. Still, since when did he ever have trouble with words.

"Hales, no way. You and Nathan weren't normal high school love, you guys are epic, but it was different when I hurt Brooke, I didn't love her."

Bumping him in the hip, in a show of forgiveness, Haley pondered the best way to answer him for a moment before answering. "One, Nathan and I _were_ epic not are, if you even want to call it that, and two, just because you didn't love Brooke didn't mean she didn't love you Luke. Brooke is the most fiercely loyal amazing person I know, but she's also the most fragile in some ways. She puts up this tough veneer, yet inside is this little girl aching to be loved for who she is. You just have to prove to her you can do it."

"Do what?"

"See who she really is and never let go." Haley revealed, with a smile because something inside told her Lucas was definitely up for the task. He'd had two serious relationships in college that lasted around a year each, but from his descriptions they sounded as if they were more like his twin than his soulmate. Lucas needed someone that could open up new worlds for him, not enable him to stay safely in his own and Brooke unquestionably could rock his world in every way possible, she was sure.

"Sounds like a plan." Lucas agreed. "Well, we're here," he suddenly announced as they came upon a massive three-story warehouse that had a bright red and white sold sign spread across the large metal front doors.

"Um, and why are we here? I thought we were going to do some Christmas shopping and unless you bought me this…this, whatever it is, I don't think it counts."

Lucas just gave her a mysterious smile, took her hand and brought her inside the building.

"Lucas, this is trespassing!" Haley admonished, as they delved further into the building before coming to a gigantic open room.

Flipping on the lights, Nathan appeared across the room. "Not if you're in good with the owner."

Cocking her head to the side in amusement, Haley asked the million-dollar question. "Huh?"

As he came towards them, Haley couldn't help but admire his appearance. In nice fitting jeans, a plain black sweater that just happened to emphasize his broad shoulders, toned chest, and narrow waist, he looked as if he just stepped out of GQ magazine. Not that she cared or anything, she was just making an observation.

Finally reaching her, he caught her eye. "You sure you're all better?" He gave her a worried look and brought his palm to her forehead, smiling when he didn't detect even a hint of fever.

Stepping back a bit from his touch, she put her arm through Lucas's. "Yeah, much. Now care to tell me why you and you brother here…" she gave a pointed look to Lucas, "tricked me into coming to an abandoned building?"

Brushing off her discomfort at his touch, he motioned for her and Lucas to follow him up a flight of stairs. He'd really begun to learn to live with the flinches; he had to, or else he couldn't concentrate on getting rid of them all together.

Things had gotten better between them over the last three weeks though. Sure, after that first night in her bed she never let him again, but he'd predicted that. He knew once she let her guard down, it would come back twice as strong.

Still, everyday over the last three weeks, he came and checked on her. And everyday she let him in the door and sometimes they'd even watch a movie together, albeit on separate couches, but still it was something.

Brooke had even backed off somewhat, at least verbally; her looks of pure disgust still remained ever present. Nevertheless, he'd take a hundred of years of Brooke burning holes in his back verses her loud bitching mouth stirring up Haley's pain. He was sure his presence alone was already doing enough of that and he wanted to keep it to a minimal if humanely possible.

In the back of his mind, he knew he'd have to attempt to make amends with Brooke one day. Honestly, he could care less if he ever saw Brooke again and he was sure the feeling was mutual, but Haley loved Brooke and that was all that mattered at the end of the day.

Finally reaching the top, Nathan signaled for Haley to look over the railing.

Doing as instructed, Haley took in the massive rooms across from her and just how big the floor below her was. Unfortunately, she still didn't even have a clue where they were going with this. "Ok, it's a ginormous abandoned building." She turned and smiled cutely. "So come on Scotts, connect the dots."

Both brothers groaned. Haley always had a knack for her rhyming whether it was cheering them on as they played ball or fighting for Nathan to retain history and Lucas her random daily observation with her lyrical mnemonics.

"Oh quit it, you know y'all love me to death," she teased, but the double meaning behind her words caused them all to take a pregnant pause.

Clearing his throat, Nathan decided the steer the topic back to reason they were all there. "Alright, so do you remember helping out at the basketball camp the summer before our senior year?"

"Of course, the one for underprivileged kids," she answered with the utmost ease as images of Lucas and Nathan coaching those little boys, vividly flashed through her head.. That had been such a special week for them all.

"Well," Nathan continued, "I decided to something like that, but on a much larger scale. We're going to renovate this entire building to be an after school complex for kids that can't afford normal extra curricular activities."

Lucas jumped in. "It's going to be amazing Hales. There will of course be basketball and other typical sporting events. There's a massive empty lot behind here that we'll build adaptable soccer, football and baseball areas on."

Haley was in shock, nevertheless her quick thinking mind already had a question. "What about the kids that don't play sports?

Grinning, Nathan pointed across the way to a series of small empty rooms. "Those rooms over there are going to house the tutoring center. We'll knock down all the walls and make it one big open space and we'll even take out those tiny windows and make them floor to ceiling to let in plenty of natural light."

"Oh and right up there." Lucas pointed up above them. "Is a loft that will become the music room."

After taking a small breath, in an attempt to absorb all the info, Haley finally spoke. "Wow."

"There's just one thing…" Nathan mysteriously broached and glanced at his brother for help.

Following his eyes to Lucas, Haley waited for Lucas to finish Nathan's thought.

Sticking his hands in his pocket, Lucas looked up timidly at Haley. A look she'd come to discover always meant he needed something big from her.

"We want you to be a partner…to help us run this place, hence the music and tutoring centers. I can help out with the tutoring angle and writing classes but Nathan and I are clueless on the music aspect. We need you Haley."

Haley blinked in surprise. "Wait…so you and Nathan are partners in this and now you want me too?

"Come on Hales, we could a lot of good. A lot of other athletes in the area want to help too, so it's already getting attention." Lucas pleaded, with a bit of whine in his tone that sent Haley back to the days when he used to beg her to play house. "Besides we can even convince Peyton to run an art class slash help you in music and Brooke…well maybe she can handle sex education—we'll think of something for her."

Cracking a smile, Haley caught Nathan's eye and remembered why this would be a horrible idea. "Guys, I think this is so incredible and I'm so honored you asked, but I just don't think this is a good idea. I have a ton of songs I need to work on."

"Bullshit Haley." Lucas interjected, his lips turning forming frown. He knew he may be making a huge mistake pushing her in front of Nathan, but he wasn't going to let this opportunity pass them all by just because of her initial fears. His Haley would thrive in this project and he knew deep down the prospect had already enthralled her. The wheels in her head were without a doubt already turning.

Shuffling his feet some, Nathan got Haley's attention. "Listen, I know you may be worried that I'm just using this to get closer to you, so I'll be honest. At first, yeah that was my mindset and then I started to write down some plans and discovered how much I really want this for those kids and myself. Yes, working with you will be an unbelievable plus." He paused for a patented smirk.

"Buttttttt," he emphatically continued, "I promise if I even inch over the line, while we're working that is, you have free reign to smack the crap out of me and walk away."

Shifting her eyes between the two brother's pitiful puppy dog eyes, Haley felt she had no choice. "I'm in."

…

"I just can't believe you agreed to work with him," a skeptical Brooke declared from the floor of Haley's room where she was currently trying to decide between three nail polishes.

Taking off her shirt, Haley faced Brooke in her jeans and black lace bra. "It doesn't mean a thing, I assure you. Nathan Scott is not my kryptonite anymore. Anyway, this is an amazing thing they are trying to get underway. Oh and we're going to need your help. I was thinking you could teach a pre-teen class and help girls understand their bodies and how to protect themselves. And I could use your help decorating once it's renovated. Peyton's already figuring out the multiple murals she's going to paint, so we'll get together with her on the color schemes."

Brooke watched Haley slip her bra over her arms and pull on a thin white long tee with the words "Team Pink" written in _said_ color, from Victoria's Secret, that ended right about mid-thigh. "So, you've got this all figured out, huh?" she finally replied, once Haley began to shimmy off her jeans.

"I guess. I mean there's so much work to be done."

Furrowing her brows, which she hardly ever did for fear of wrinkles, Brooke let out a long sigh. "Fine, I'll help."

"Woah, way to sound enthused there Cheery," Peyton quipped as she strolled into the room and flopped, stomach side down, onto Haley's bed, resting her chin atop her hands.

"Be nice to me P. Sawyer, not only is my worry over Haley impending my beauty rest lately, but Haley just flashed me and made me sad."

Giving her an odd look, Haley squirted some lavender scented lotion in the palm of her hand. "And why do my boobs make you sad? You've seen them a million times."

Brooke shrugged and held out a sparkly pink nail polish for Peyton to critique, who in turn quickly shook her head no. "I really don't know. They mesmerized me for some reason today. The nipples seemed to call out to me, but so not in a lesbian way; more like a taunting way, as if to say they were better than mine. Seriously, I think my boobs are feeling insecure. " She held out a deep burgundy to Peyton.

Both Haley and Peyton just shook their heads at Brooke's thought process.

"Anyway…." Peyton started, nodding in approval at the burgundy color before continuing. "Haley, I downloaded a new artist onto your IPOD that I wanted your opinion on. Most of it is cover material, but they have a few original songs."

Picking her silver IPOD off the dresser, Haley scrolled through the new additions. "Sure, I'm already loving their cover choices," she praised, as she recognized titles from even as far back as the 70's with a couple from Clapton—very impressive.

"Yeah definitely," Peyton agreed.

Growing bored with what was surely Emo talk, Brooke bounced up, with her choice of polish in hand. "Before I fall asleep on the floor from you guys discussing 'slit your wrist' music, I'm heading off to bed or to watch Soapnet…it's a toss up at this point."

Sliding off the bed, Peyton too made her way to the door. "Oh I'm on pins and needles Brooke. I can't wait to find out what you decide. Please, please keep me updated," Peyton sarcastically begged in a sugary sweet voice.

In response, Brooke stuck her nose up at Peyton and pranced out of the room in a huff, but her fading giggles blew her cover.

"How have we ever survived this many years with her?" Peyton rhetorically asked.

Laughing, Haley pulled back her covers and climbed into her bed.

"All right, I'm off to actually sleep. I'm still dragging a bit." Peyton rubbed her neck, as she made a step to leave.

"Yeah me too…oh hey!" Haley stopped her. "I ran by Maverick to let them know we'd be returning this week and I picked up our messages and there was one I couldn't figure out."

"What was it?"

"It said _'Someday'_. Isn't that weird?

Peyton's eyes lit up and a goofy smile spread across her face.

Haley was floored. "Is that a smile Pey? You better tell me every single detail."

"It's not that big of a deal. He's just a guy I met when I was in LA." She nonchalantly divulged, making it seem as insignificant as possible.

Crinkling her nose, Haley let out a yelp, and clapped her hands. "Oh my God! What's his name, what does he do…yada yada what does he look like?"

Putting her hand to her head, Peyton groaned. "Let's please tone down the Brookeness in this conversation."

"Ok fine, but come on, tell me something. I haven't seen that look in your eye, since well…since who knows when. Now pretty please?

Peyton threw her hands up in defeat before spilling. "His name is Jake, he's a rep for Sony Music and even though I hate to admit the vain side of me, he's gorgeous."

Haley's grin got wider. "When are you going to see him again?"

"Maybe someday," Peyton coyly answered, yet it was all Haley needed to realize that the simple word held a much deeper meaning in the world of Peyton and Jake.

….

An hour later, Haley found herself restless. Her body was exhausted, but her mind refused to turn off. Grabbing her IPOD off the nightstand, she put her ear buds in, switched it to random shuffle and let the music play. Maybe if she was lucky, Peyton's new artist would emerge among the tracks and she could claim she was actually attempting to work verses praying the music would lull her into dreamland.

Too bad music could also yank any hope of peace away so fast it could make your head spin. Whether it was due to the lyrics and/or the moment you heard it, music always had the uncanny ability to bring back a single moment in your life with just a few chords. It was both a blessing and a curse.

"_So I wait and I wait  
And I run myself in the same old circles  
I sit and I stare  
And I run old scenes through my tired head  
Of the days that we laid by the school and said forever  
Was that the best I'll ever be"_

_Sister Hazel's latest hit floated through the breezy North Carolina air from a worn out boom box in the middle of the Tree Hill football field where a young couple lay completely in love and completely at peace._

_On navy wool blanket Nathan and Haley were sprawled out on their backs, her head in his lap, both staring up at the stars amidst a deep midnight hue. _

_A soft smile played upon Haley's lips, as Nathan's hand slid under her top and began stroking the creamy hint of skin just above the hem of her cheerleading skirt._

_Haley had joined the cheerleading squad at the beginning of their senior year, after Brooke begged for her help in keeping a known skank off the team. Ironically, it wouldn't have mattered anyway since said skank got caught smoking weed and expelled a couple of weeks into the first semester. Nonetheless, cheerleading proved to be something she was actually quite good at. She loved coming up with cheers and learning the steps was just like learning anything and she was Tutorgirl. _

_Nathan definitely was enjoying it too, Not only did he get to lust after her everyday at practice, he got to have her in a teeny tiny uniform screaming his names in front of an entire gym. _

"_Where do you see us in five years?" Haley abruptly found herself asking, as her brain digested the __message of the song. _

_Running his free hand through her thick locks, he smiled, knowing her penchant for comparing life to music. "If you're asking if right now is the best we'll ever be, then no."_

"_Oh yeah? Care to __fill me in on your vision."_

"_Let's see…in five years I'll be finishing up my debut your in the NBA and blowing everyone out of the water and you'll be conquering the world in whatever you decide to do, music, teaching you name it. Our daughter will be just learning to walk…"_

_Haley shot up and gave him a bewildered look. "Wait, we have a daughter?"_

_Maneuvering her to lay flat on top of him, he pecked her lips and ran his hands up and down her back. "Hell yes, I'm knocking you up as soon as that diploma is in your hand. In fact, maybe I'll do it before then and you can waddle your hot ass across the stage."_

_Smacking him on the chest, she kissed him tenderly. Afterwards, she tilted her head back, ever so slightly, and gazed into his eyes. "Do you really think about us like that?"_

"_Hales, there isn't a moment I don't picture my life with you."_

_Tears pricked at her smiling eyes. "And you picture me all fat and pregnant?"_

_He chuckled and rubbed his nose against hers. "You're going to be the sexiest pregnant woman to ever exist."_

"_Do you have any idea how sexy you are to me right now?" Haley whispered against his lips, before kissing a pathway across and jaw and down his neck. _

_Letting out a moan, Nathan's hands grabbed her butt hard and pulled her tighter to him. _

_This time it was Haley's turn to moan, as the feel of his erection sent shock waves of pleasure coursing through her. Things we're getting heated fast._

_Sitting up, she unzipped the side of her top, allowing one of his hands to swoop underneath and begin kneading her breasts. Throwing her head back in pleasure, she instinctively ground her pelvis hard into his. _

_Pushing himself up and holding Haley to him, Nathan glanced around the field and then locked his mischievous eyes on her. "Looks like we're all alone."_

_Catching his hint, she made sure he was right and then kissed him passionately on the mouth, her tongue immediately demanding entrance, as she made quick work of undoing his Dockers. She loved when he wore them because that usually meant a tie came with and that turned her on beyond belief, especially after a game when he strutted out with his dress shirt half way on and his tie undone, hanging around his neck. _

_Skillfully, Haley's hand snaked its way under his briefs forcing a few pearly drops into her palm. Aching to be inside her, Nathan moved his pants down just enough to spring himself free, much to Haley's delight._

_Out of breath, she took her lips from his and greedily took in the sight. "Looks like someone is ready to play__," she teased, licking her lips._

_Laughing, he pushed her cheer bloomers aside, slipping two fingers into her already dripping wet center. "He always wants to play with you Baby and looks like you're ready too."_

_Pushing against his hand, she racked her nails through his hair. "I need you…now"_

"_Are you sure?" His words may have been cautions, but their meaning did nothing to deter the amount of lust dripping in his voice._

_It amazed her that after all their public sessions he still wanted to make sure she was all right and it only made her love him even more, if that was possible. She'd never forget the day she confessed her fantasy of going at it on the bench in the school's weight room. A second later she and Nathan were racing towards the school to make it a reality. Ever since, public lovin__' had become a delicious part of their sexual __repertoire._

_Giving him the __answer she knew they both wanted she brought her hand down and wrapped it around his throbbing member. Arching herself up, she placed him at her opening and sank down gradually, his name spilling from her lips as he filled her completely._

_Taking her face in his hands, Nathan nipped at her bottom lip before devouring her mouth, drowning out both their moans_

_Leaning to the right, Haley grabbed Nathan's discarded tie and wrapped it around his neck. Finally tearing her lips away from his, she gave him a sultry smile as she pulled the ends of his tie and jerked his neck toward her. _

"_Always trying to take control__," Nathan murmured into her ear, then chanted her name when her inner muscles gripped his length in a pulsating rhythm._

_Using the leverage to her advantage, Haley leaned back, giving up a little bit of slack with the tie as she went, until the back of her head touched the ground and she was literally hanging from the red silk, her dark blonde tresses fanning out against the blanket._

"_Damn Haley," Nathan growled out, almost erupting at the sight of her hips moving in such an erotic fashion, he could watch her slide up and down his dick, her juices all over him, glistening in the moonlight._

_Slowly, she pulled herself back up, meeting Nathan in the middle for a fierce kiss that had her tasting her own blood. It set her on fire, feeling how much he wanted her in every move he made._

_Picking up the pace, both were forced to tear their mouths away from the other in order to come to grips with the immense gratification lighting up ever nerve in their bodies. _

_A few heated moments later and they were both at the edge. Holding on tightly; her arms wrapped around his shoulders, his hands digging into her waist, her hips bucking widely, his mouth fused to her neck—they literally came together._

_After a few breathless pecks, Haley slid off him and zipped back up her top. "Wow…that was…"_

"_Spectacular__," Nathan finished for her with a cocky smirk._

_Pushing him playfully, she waited for him to pull his pants up before lying back down in his arms, her head now resting on his chest._

_A few moments passed, as they relished in the afterglow, before Haley spoke up._

"_I do too you know?" __her small voice sounded, as she lightly traced her finger over the ribbing of Nathan's undershirt_

"_Do what?"_

"_Dream of our future__," she quietly revealed, smiling to herself when Nathan kissed her forehead and tightened his grip around her._

"_So, what do you see for us, besides me rocking your world every night for the rest of our lives?" _

_Scoffing, even though she secretly agreed with him, she gave him her version. "I see us with children, lots of them; three boys and a girl and we'll be a real family, the kind where you and I go to bed wrapped in each other's arms and wake up with a bed full of kids."_

_Scooting down, Nathan turned on his side, using his elbow for support, so he could watch her excited expressions. The images she spoke of filling him with such a sense of yearning for what was to come. _

"_Oh and we'll have elaborate Christmases and Thanksgivings with all our extended family over celebrating with us."_

"_Except Christmas morning__," Nathan interjected._

_At her questioning look, Nathan explained. "When I was growing up my parents always made us go on vacation for Christmas with about a million of my Dad's business associates and their families. It was never just us and I want all those quiet moments with you and our children, Hales. Nothing will ever come before our family."_

_Caressing his cheek a single tear ran down her own. "I love you so much."_

_Taking her hand, he delicately kissed her palm, an act that always made her feel utterly cherished. "I love you too__, Baby"_

With hands trembling, Haley placed her IPOD on her nightstand and slipped out of the bed. She'd already waited long enough, always justifying waiting one more day and letting the demons of her past, paralyze her with fear.

Reaching her dresser, she opened the third drawer and felt around until she found the small plastic bag that she had hidden there the day before they all left for Paris.

Taking a single item out of the bag, Haley made her way into the bathroom. She really didn't even know why she was doing this. She knew her body and most importantly she knew her heart. This was really only a formality on the path to acceptance, but it was one that needed to be done.

…

Crawling back into her bed, Haley curled up with her favorite pillow; her heavy lids falling closed in an attempt to calm her nerves. This wasn't the way she had ever imagined it; not when she was a child acting out her future with her dolls and certainly not when she was eighteen, planning her life with the boy she loved.

Nevertheless, this was happening—her reality was once again changing, just like it had five years before. And while she was still just as terrified as she was then, deep down she knew without a doubt this was her path—her future—to hell with the circumstances.

Over the last few years, she'd put aside all her beliefs in fate, not wanting to believe _this_ was meant to be. She had counted on meeting someone new that she would envision a life with. One that would enable her to gaze at her children and not see the man that broke her heart. Proving to herself that the baby boy she'd pictured, with his father's cobalt eyes, was nothing more than a figment of her imagination and that destiny had nothing to do with the with the children we are given.

Now it would seem, though, that being a non-believer wasn't the way to go, as fate was having the last laugh and she was having Nathan's baby…_again_.

* * *

Cath 


	11. No Stars

**Author's Note:** You guys are so amazing!! Seriously, between all your support and fresh eps of OTH I feel inspired again. :) Hearing your reactions always help me shape future chapters and I couldn't ask for a better group of readers.

I want to think Hana, again for being such an amazing beta and sounding board. You are such a sweetheart!

And this is dedicated to Caro, from FF, who saved me from writer's block early this morning by finding a certain song I needed for this chapter. Thanks a million hun!

_  
_  
**Chapter Eleven "No Stars"**

_I saw the devil in a dream  
He wore faded jeans and smiling  
He promised every hidden thing to me  
_

_And when a soul was in despair  
He'd make confetti fall from everywhere  
Until the restless eyes fell back to sleep _

And then minds were tipping  
And thoughts were spilling  
They poured out into the street  
And i was frightened by my fearlessness  
to drown in everything

What I knew was left behind  
There were no stars for a wish to find  
And there was nothing in my clenching fist  
And I just can't wait for tomorrow  
Cause I will let go just as fearlessly

_**Maria Taylor**_

Two and a half months had passed and she was now sixteen weeks pregnant and a couple weeks into her second trimester, since she had already been a good 6 weeks pregnant when she "officially" found out.

Her due date was August 2nd, which of course meant she was going to be a whale during the hottest time of the year. That was going to be lovely, but at the same time incredibly worth it.

Although, she had to admit before her first ultrasound, her fears hadn't allowed her any time to absorb the positives. When she saw her baby's image for the very first time, however, every ounce of her fear vanished and nothing but pure unconditional love consumed her.

"Come on dumpling, if you love mommy you'll suck in with her," Haley coached her unborn child as she struggled with the zipper of a pair of her favorite jeans, which believe it or not used to be a little loose in the waist. Counting to three, she inhaled one more time.

"Damn it! Oops sorry, I didn't mean that." She rubbed her belly apologetically as she hopped off the end of the bed to grab a pair of black legging, seeing as the last pair of her pre-pregnancy pants had failed her. Tomorrow she'd have to suck it up and hit a few maternity boutiques.

Thankfully, tops had been easier. Opening her closet, she went to choose one of her many fashionable tunics, most of which had just been purchased in the last couple weeks, when her tiny bump finally began to emerge.

Ironically, she was four months pregnant and still thinner than she was pre-baby. Her breasts were swollen and her bump had surfaced; but her face was still a tad sunken and her arms a bit too scrawny for her taste.

She had lost a good fifteen pounds from the flu and, now that she thought about it, probably a mixture of morning sickness too. As of last week, she still had five more pounds to go before she was back to her normal weight. Nonetheless, she had a feeling the weight was about to start piling on and her belly would be ballooning out.

Selecting a long sleeved, dark gray dropped tie waist one with a V neckline she laid it on the bed and pulled on her leggings.

Hearing her doorknob jiggle she froze.

"Haley, what the hell? Why do you keep locking your door all the damn time now?" Brooke ranted through the door, annoyed at being cut off after five full years of total access. Not even Peyton and her moody ass ever locked her out.

Putting on her tunic in record speed, Haley opened the door with a cheerful smile. "Sorry, what's up?"

Brooke looked her up in down. "Are you wearing another freakin' loose top? Hello? You haven't been on a date in forever. It's time to pull out the corset tops and mini shirts. I mean you look adorable, but you need to get laid and that is not a "do me" outfit. It's a commitment one if anything; a "I look hot, but hands off, I'm taken" one.

'_I guess I am kind of taken.'_ Haley thought to herself. Someone was literally living inside her body, so if that didn't say she was committed she didn't know what did.

Waving her hand in front of Haley's face, Brooke stomped her foot. "And you keep spacing out on me. I'm starting to take it personally."

"Aw, Tigger you know I love you. How about I let you pick out my shoes today?"

"Yay!" Brooke exclaimed as she bounded towards the closet to begin her mission.

It took so little to make her Brookie smile. Now, if only she could find a way to make her less curious, although she'd rather find a way to make herself feel less guilty.

Keeping her pregnancy a secret from Brooke and Peyton killed her. It wasn't that she didn't want to or that she was even scared to, it was more to do with the fact that once she told them she was one step closer to telling Nathan and she wasn't ready to even contemplate that undertaking.

Still, everyday she almost let it slip, yearning for her friends support, needing them to tell her it will all be ok and, most importantly, wanting them to be a part of her pregnancy.

In the meantime, though, she just reminded herself that the longer she waited, the longer nothing could go wrong with her child and in her mind that made complete and total sense. Rationalizing could be an amazing technique at times.

"Ta Da!" Brooke announced, as she glided out of the closet with a pair of 4 inch spiked deep red pumps.

"You and your flash of colors." Haley shook her head with a laugh, as she took them from Brooke's hands and stepped into them.

Brooke just grinned as she went about digging through Haley's jewelry drawer and selected a long double stranded necklace created entirely of blood red stones, alternating between oval and smaller beaded shapes throughout.

"Here." She slipped the necklace over Haley's head and plucked up a brush from the top of the dresser. "Now, let's comb out your hair, I see this being a straight hair day with just a hint of curl at the ends."

After, Haley sat down on the floor Indian style, Brooke hopped up on the bed behind her and began slowly combing through Haley's hair.

Closing her eyes, Haley felt incredibly relaxed, Brooke's ministrations lulling her into a tranquil state. "That feels soooooo good…"

Smiling, Brooke never broke her rhythm. "Good, you need a little pampering every now and then. In fact, I think all three of us are way overdue for a spa day."

Haley sighed happily at the thought. Their spa days were legendary. Brooke would always wake them up at the crack of dawn and they'd spend the entire day drinking champagne, being massaged, and submitting their bodies for every single beauty treatment under the sun.

"Haley?"

"Mmm hmm?" an entranced Haley mumbled back.

"We tell each other every thing right? I mean, you trust me with your deepest darkest secrets and vice versa?"

"_Shit. Did she know?" _A million thoughts raced through Haley's mind as nodded in agreement with Brooke, not sure what to actually say.

Gliding her hands through Haley's hair, instead of the brush, Brooke blew out a breath, causing a few wayward strands of her own hair to fly away from her face. "I hope you won't be mad at me."

"Mad at you?" Haley turned slightly to face Brooke, aghast at what had come from her mouth.

Brooke forcefully turned Haley shoulders to get her to face the front again. "I could never admit this to your face, hell I can barely admit it to myself."

"You're in love with Lucas?" Haley guessed with the utmost ease, knowing there was only one thing Brooke had ever been reluctant about and that was Lucas Eugene Scott.

"Damn it Haley! You always ruin my secrets." Brooke sulked, but continued to play with Haley's hair, finding it soothing herself. "Anyway, I just have to break it off with him. He can't realistically expect this to work."

"And why can't it work?"

"Are you seriously asking me that?"

Turning around to face her, Haley sat back on her heels and placed her palms on Brooke's knees. "I'm seriously saying that I know Lucas better than anyone and yes, he made a huge mistake years ago with the worst possible person in the world, but…if you can forgive Peyton why not him?

Looking intently at Haley, Brooke held back tears. "I don't know maybe it stems from Daddy issues, but that's not even the half of it."

"What else is there sweetie?" Haley gently encouraged.

"Frankly, I never feel enough for him." At Haley's scoff, Brooke continued. "I know it's crazy. He cheats on me and I'm worried I won't be enough for him? I mean I know I'm a perfect 10 on normal guy standards, but Lucas is different. He's totally brainy and insightful and I'm…"

"Gorgeous, witty, caring, loyal, passionate…shall I go on?" Haley quirked an eyebrow at her now smiling friend.

"Yes you shall," Brooke decreed happily.

"Hmm, I think your ego is inflated enough. Nonetheless, I would never steer you wrong with Luke, if I didn't think he had the best of intentions. You spark something in him no one else ever has and that's more than enough."

"You're going make me cry." Brooke handed her the brush, aware Haley had to leave any minute.

Standing up, Haley walked over to give her hair a final comb through and adjustment before she finished it off with a light mist of spray. "Did I get my point across?"

Jumping up, Brooke hugged her from behind. "Yes, Tutorgirl, you are the bestest! Lucas should be down on his hands and knees thanking God he's in my presence just like every other guy in the world."

"Something like that," Haley pacified as she grabbed her purse. "Alright, I'm off to the complex. I'll meet you at the club around 9ish. Don't be late and please remember this is one of the longest running song writer clubs in New York, it's very low key and has enjoyed it that way for over 38 years so keep in mind less is more. "

Brooke giggled, remembering showing up the last time in a tight fuchsia mini dress covered in beads, as her roommates were sporting jeans and rocker tees. "Oh, it wasn't that bad Hales. If I have to suffer through all that acoustic nonsense that is not even real music in my opinion, then I should at least get to wear something hot."

"Why do I get the feeling Peyton's head has just exploded somewhere in LA.," Haley teased as she picked up her keys off the kitchen counter.

"Let's hope she's exploding in much more fun ways," Brooke countered. "Anyway, I guess tonight won't be so bad, I'm kinda looking forward to the eye candy."

"I'm so telling him you said that!" Haley taunted, right before running out the door and down the stairs.

She had just reached the street, when she heard Brooke scream her name from the window above her.

"JAMES, I SWEAR ON ALL THAT IS HOLY YOU BETTER NOT! I MEANT THE DRUMMER NOT HIM….HAAAAAAAAAAALEEEEEEEEEEY!"

….

"Boo!" Haley whispered over Nathan's shoulder, sending a shiver down his spine when her hot breath lightly blew against the side of his neck.

Swiveling his chair away from the massive window, he set his sights on a much better view. "Hey, sorry I didn't hear you come in."

She shrugged and walked back around the desk to sit in one of the two fundamental yet comfortable chairs across from him, in what had recently become _their_ office. It was the first and only room, in which the renovation had been completed and probably would be the only one for another four to six weeks. That being the case, she hadn't had much choice in sharing an office with the Scott brothers

"What time did you get in this morning?" she questioned, crossing her left leg over her right as she leisurely leaned further back in her chair.

Rubbing his tired eyes, he refocused on her. Stunning as usual, but something was still off, as it had been for weeks, something he couldn't put his finger on. For the first few weeks, he just trumped whatever it was up to the flu still dragging, but lately though, she'd looked anything but sick; radiant actually and her boobs…"_Damn__ were they even bigger this week?__"_

He had been in LA for the last week signing some financial documents for endorsements he was still apart of. Even retired, they still wanted a piece of him, but hey getting paid for a couple random shots of him running on a treadmill for Gatorade and playing ball for Nike wasn't something he was going to turn down. Unfortunately, being gone meant that he'd missed his daily inspection of her assets but, looking at them now, he was pretty damn sure they had grown even more.

"_Was he staring at her boobs?__"_Before she had time to slap him out his trance, Lucas came barging through the door.

"Haley, there's someone waiting downstairs for you."

Nathan and Haley both looked at him confused.

"Who is it?" she questioned, after realizing he wasn't going to give her anything else to go on.

Lucas gave her the _"__what am I your secretary?__"_lookand with a roll of her eyes and a promise to be right back she left the brothers alone.

"Do you think Haley's boobs are bigger?" Nathan abruptly asked, not even giving Lucas time to sit down.

"Ew, why did you have to ask me that, I just ate," Lucas grumbled, plopping down in the chair next to Haley's now unoccupied one.

"Shut the hell up and answer the question."

Flinching a bit at his gruff tone, Lucas shook it off a second later. While most times Nathan was grateful to just be in Haley's presence, Lucas could tell not _truly_ being with her was taking its toll. Patience was never one of his brother's virtues, especially in regards to Haley, but Lucas had to give him props for only exposing his frustration every now and then. It had to be killing him to be so close yet so far. However, the end would certainly justify the means.

"I don't look at her boobs Nathan."

"If only Tim was here…wait, scratch that. He'd never stop staring at her chest," Nathan grimaced.

"Shit, I hope Hales doesn't take forever with that guy, I just remembered we have that meeting with the contractor in about twenty minutes." Lucas began to freak out, checking his watch to make sure his estimation was right and it was.

"Guy?" Nathan didn't even try to hide his interest.

"Yeah, guy, as in male, as in XY chromosomes, as in…"

Nathan massaged his temples, feeling a Lucas induced headache coming on. "Lucas…"

"Just some guy, in way too tight pants, some bright purple western shirt and spikey hair."

Standing, Nathan pulled up the sleeves of his thin navy v-neck sweater. "Well, let's go introduce ourselves," he kindly suggested, with a Scott smirk brilliantly executed at the end.

…

"CHRIS!" Haley screeched and launched herself in his arms.

Swinging her around, he chuckled at her excitement. "I knew you missed me Sugar," he flirted, as always, than placed her back on her feet.

"What are you doing here anyway? I thought we weren't seeing you till tonight."

"I had to see my best girl as soon as I got to town." He brushed his hand across her cheek.

She laughed. "Oh, please. What do you want? You only act like a gentleman when you need something."

Putting his hand to his heart, he feigned hurt. "You have wounded me Miss Haley."

Shoving him teasingly against the chest, he grabbed her right hand and spontaneously twirled her around before bending her backwards in an equally unexpected dip just in time for Nathan and Lucas to catch it all.

Seeing they had an audience, Haley nudged Chris to pull her back her up. "Nathan, Lucas this is Chris…Chris Keller.

All three men briefly exchanged half ass nods before turning back to her.

"Well, ok…um, well Chris is singing tonight at that club we're all going to and he stopped by for reasons I'm still not aware of." She shot her eyes to Chris, waiting for him to respond.

Getting down on one knee Chris took her left hand and subsequently Lucas took a hold of Nathan's arm, to hold him back.

"Miss James, "Chris grinned widely, "will you do me the honor of warming up the crowd for me tonight?"

Laughing at his antics, she helped him to his feet. "Chris, you are such a dumbass, but you know I will. So, let me guess you screwed over your usual opening act, which probably consisted of one aspiring female musician who succumbed to your charms at record speed only to have her heart broken a few gigs later."

"Hey, it's not my fault she couldn't recognize _The Keller_ can never be tied down," he boasted, whiling ruffling her hair, earning himself a slap upside the head.

"Ouch, Haley. Anyway, I'm out. I just wanted to make sure we were good for tonight. Be there by six for rehearsal."

Kissing his cheek, she promised to be there and waved him off before turning back to the remaining boys in the room, who seemed to still be in a bit of a daze from the exchange they had just witnessed.

"What?" She glanced between them.

Nathan ultimately spoke up. "When did you start to willingly sing in public?"

"Yeah," Lucas interjected fueling Nathan's argument. "We used to have to force you to sing to just our group in high school."

"Dude, remember that time we found her underneath a table at Tric, singing foreign songs to herself. It took us at least a half-hour to get her to come out," Nathan joked, not noticing Haley's sudden change in demeanor yet.

"Are you done?" she curtly inquired. Sure, she was being petty, but sometimes her resentment couldn't be contained. . Once his eyes found hers she continued. "Because you missed five years of my life and believe it or not I survived and even accomplished some things, like singing in public, without you holding my hand."

A long silence hung over them all and Haley instantly regretted her statement. Sometimes, though, forgetting all the pain and trying to be BFFs, with the boy that caused all the pain in the first place, got the best of her.

Not to mention, her hormones were going crazy, since she was knocked up with her heartbreaker's offspring and had no clue how tell him or what they were going to do once she did. So, yeah, you could say she was just a tiny bit on edge and damn it she had ever right to be. _'Yikes, talk about mood swings.'_ She was going to be fun to live with, poor Peyton and Brooke.

The contractor waltzing in, with arms full of blue prints, gave them all the much-needed interruption they craved and for the rest of the afternoon it was business as usual, even though Nathan's thoughts were always with Haley, Lucas's with Brooke, and Haley's with her and Nathan's unborn child.

…

"Ladies and Gentlemen, please give it up for Miss Haley James!" The club owner announced as the crowd went into a frenzy of applause at the unexpected surprise. Haley had sung there numerous times, trying out new songs she was writing and they had always embraced her to the fullest.

Still in her same outfit, but with much more dramatic makeup, Haley moved across the stage and took the microphone in her hand. "Thank you so much guys. I'm going to sing a new song I've been working on, so I hope you enjoy it."

With a nod to the band, the cords of her song _'Devil Archerists'_ began to come alive around her, allowing her to lose herself in her performance, fighting the instinct, as always, to find Nathan's face in the crowd.

Even during the five year gap, when she had no reason to believe he was even in the same state as her, she would find herself searching for him, searching for those eyes that never seemed to leave her nor ceased to give her strength.

_"This day probably tore me apart  
And I didn't even know it  
This day probably ate up my heart  
And I got nothing to show for it  
Why, why is it so, so, so easy to compromiiiiiiise"_

Her hips began to sway to the music, hypnotizing every man in the room, especially one named Nathan Scott.

As he watched her move, he couldn't help but admire how free and inhibited she was when she sang. He'd only seen her this comfortable when it was just the two of them and now here she was in front of a crowd of hundreds and she didn't need him anymore; she didn't need his confidence in her to give it her all. Over the years she must have realized that and while he was so proud of her, he couldn't help the sadness that swept over him at wondering if she would ever need him for anything ever again. 

"_This fog is like strawberry pie  
But it keeps you keep on reaching  
Here I am just watching me die  
Just uh watching death that uh coming up  
Coming up creeping  
Why, why don't you start  
Calling me ungratefulllllllllllllllllll  
Oh yeah…"_

"Brooke?" A petite blonde asked, forcing Brooke's eyes away from the stage and her body out of Lucas's arms once she recognized who was actually speaking to her.

"Get out of here!" Brooke excitedly exclaimed yanking the girl into a bone-crushing hug.

Mary Margaret or Mimi, as they usually called her, had lived in the same building as she, Haley and Peyton, when they first moved to New York. She was a few years older than them and lived with her husband/high school sweetheart Cody, whom they all adored, along with their two boys Braeden and Tyler who had to be around five and three now. Sadly, they had been forced to move away when Cody's medical residency was revealed to be out of state and they hadn't been back since apparently today as far as Brooke knew.

_"Keep me awayyyyyyyyy  
I've got no will to fight  
Keep me awayyyyyyyyy  
I'm running to the light  
_

_Cuz I don't wanna lose your way  
With these devil, devil archerist"_

"So, what are you doing here? How are the boys?" Brooke still in shock, managed to ask, once they parted, moving them a bit out of the way of the crowd so they could hear each other better.

"Gosh, they are so big and such a handful." She laughed lightly. "Cody got an amazing internship with Mount Sinai Hospital in orthopedics and well I'm a nurse so I can work anywhere so we moved back just a couple weeks ago. I saw Haley last week and she told me Chris was playing tonight and I couldn't miss him or the chance she'd sing." Mimi smiled towards Haley rocking it on the stage.

_"My soul here a million to one  
Says I didn't even see it  
Looking up looking down at my soul  
Looking everywhere but don't know  
Where the help is come, coming from  
Why, why do I seem broken stumbling  
Everytime I can hearrrrrrrr"_

"When did you see Haley? I can't believe she wouldn't tell me!" Brooke pouted slightly.

Mimi waved her hand dismissively at her. "Oh give her a break, all pregnant women are forgetful. Don't you remember how I was with Tyler? I can't count the number of times one of you girls had to let me into my place because I forgot my keys and…" she paused when she noticed a strange look come across Brooke's face. "What's wrong?"

"What do you mean, all pregnant women are forgetful?"

"I just mean, Haley's entitled to some slip ups on account of she's a mommy to be," she clarified a bit more, wondering why Brooke still looked so out of it.

Brooke shook her head from side to side, wondering how Mimi had gotten so confused. "Haley's not pregnant."

Mimi's lips formed a big 'O', as she comprehended the mess she had just made. "Um, yeah…I must have been confused. Look, I have to go. Tell Haley I said hi and we'll all get together real soon."

"Mary Margaret, don't move another inch," Brooke demanded, using her friend's full name to illustrate her seriousness. "The only reason you would ever miss Chris perform was if you were in labor and seeing as you're a size two, I doubt that's the case. Spill."

_"Keep me awayyyyyyyyy  
I've got no will to fight  
Keep me awayyyyyyyy  
I'm running to the light  
Cuz I don't wanna lose your wayyyy  
With these devil, devil archerrrrrist"  
_

Having learnt a long time ago that there was no winning with Brooke Davis, Mimi told her what she knew. "Her OBGYN is in the same building as the one I just started working for and I bumped into her right after her last ultrasound, she had the picture in her hand."

"How far along is she?" Brooke inquired, almost on auto-pilot, lining up the dates in her head, trying to figure out if there was any way it wasn't Nathan's.

"Sixteen weeks." Mimi revealed, wincing a bit as she did, realizing just how long Haley had been hiding it.

_Instrumental_

Strutting out to join Haley on the stage, Chris swept her into his arms for an impromptu dance as the band performed their solo moments. The crowd ate it up.

"You know I really don't like that guy." Nathan told his brother, who was currently trying to be subtle in his attempts at seeing where Brooke had run off too.

"Huh? Oh yeah, he's an ass. Have you seen Brooke?"

Nathan slapped him on the back. "You are so whipped."

Sticking out his left hand, Lucas smirked. "Nice to meet you pot?"

"Shut up," Nathan childishly threw back, his eyes never leaving Haley.

After a perfectly timed twirl out of Chris's arms, Haley raised the microphone back to her crimson lips

_"Come on now…_

_Keep me awayyyyyyyyy  
I've got no will to fight  
Keep me awayyyyyyyyy  
I'm running to the light_

_Keep me awayyyyyyyyy  
I've got no will to fight  
Keep me awayyyyyyyyy  
I'm running to the light_

_Cuz I don't wanna lose your wayyyyyyy  
Ha, I don't wanna lose your wayyyyyyyyyyyyy  
No, I don't wanna lose your wayyyyyy_

_With these devil, devil, devil archerist"_

_…_

With her head resting on her folded arms, Haley sat at the vanity in her dressing room, a large variety of bottles and brushes spread out before her. It was a little past two in the morning and Chris had managed to talk her into singing two duets and helping with the background vocals of a few more songs. She was exhausted and couldn't wait to climb into bed.

Hearing a knock, she looked over to find a somber looking Brooke in the doorway.

"We need to talk," Brooke indifferently stated, throwing Haley off guard.

"Where are the guys? Haley looked around Brooke, expecting them to appear.

"I sent them home, I told them we had to pick up Peyton from the airport."

Haley gave her an odd look. "I thought she wasn't coming in till noon tomorrow."

"She's not."

Confused, Haley watched carefully as Brooke ventured further into the room and silently made her way to the aqua suede sofa across from her.

"Mimi, came to see you tonight. She says hi by the way," Brooke calmly threw out, her impeccable manicured nails, idly running across the surface of the table beside her.

"Oh," was all Haley could muster. She had completely forgotten about her run in Mimi and thanks to that slip up she now fully understood the whole deer caught and headlights expression.

Growing frustrated, Brooke got to the point. "How could you not have told me Haley?"

For a split second Haley wanted to deny it, stay in her bubble for just a little bit longer, but she couldn't with Brooke. Not when she needed her and Peyton so bad. "I don't know… I was so scared and you can't stand Nathan…and"

"And up until a few months ago neither could you," Brooke reminded her, still remaining calm.

"I know."

"So what now, baby makes three? Are you just going to run off into the sunset with Nathan now, forget everything he did to you?" Her voice rose; hurt fueling her words.

"God, Brooke, no! You know that's never going to happen. Having a baby with someone does not equal marriage anymore. Being friends is as close to my heart as he can ever get. You of all people should know that."

Brooke threw her hands dramatically in the air "Who the hell can tell anymore Haley? You two spend practically every damn day together and you're carrying his child…again! Pardon me if I'm reading more into it."

"You think I did this on purpose?" Haley incredulous asked, her hands beginning to tremble.

"Ugh no, but do I think there is a part of you that's happy you're getting a second chance? Yes."

"Don't," Haley warned, knowing Brooke was circling her greatest weakness.

Standing, Brooke began to pace, heading Haley's advice and letting her mind switch gears. "What's ironic is I've wondered if you were a few times and yet I dismissed it every single time because I knew if you were there was no way you wouldn't come to us."

"It was all too much Brooke. I had to come to terms with it before I could handle waiting on anyone else to. I'm having a baby with Nathan for God's sakes. Do you know how hard it is to look at the boy you love, the boy you planned this amazing life with and have to settle for less?"

"People do it everyday Haley."

Haley laughed bitterly. "Most people choose to raise a child apart because life is better without the other. I never had that option. I was forced over that goddamn fence and after five long years the grass still isn't greener."

Brooke froze, her eyes darting to Haley. "What the hell is that suppose to mean?

Covering her face with her hands, Haley let out a tired breath, before letting her hands fall soothingly to her stomach. "It means I love my life, but that those two years with Nathan made me just as happy if not more. I didn't have the chance to ever fall out of love with him. One day it all just vanished and I was expected to look back on what we had with disgust and somehow fall out of love with a ghost and I couldn't do that, no one can." She paused, swallowing the lump in her throat.

"Now, I'm forced to raise a child in the shadow of a love that never had the chance to fade and even though I could have that chance now, to answer all my what ifs, I can't."

"Why not?" Brooke spoke up, her tone regaining some warmth.

"Because even though I still imagine what could have been every time I look at Nathan, I'll never get over the fact he walked away from everything we dreamed of. We had our chance, he blew it and now I'm forced to figure out how to not let our baggage affect our child."

Brooke's heart softened at Haley's words. She couldn't imagine how unbelievably scary this must be for her, especially after the last time.

"Come here Tutorgirl." Brooke patted the seat next to her. That was the thing with her and Haley, it usually only took them a few minutes to realize the other was more important than anything they could ever argue about.

Doing as instructed, Haley immediately sank into comforting hug from her best friend. "I'm so sorry I didn't tell you Brooke."

Releasing her, Brooke grabbed a tissue off the table and went about fixing Haley's, slightly, smudged eyeliner. "No worries, Tutor…mom," she promised, with a dimpled grin, already loving the new variation of Haley's name.

Smiling back, Haley took Brooke's hand and pressed it to her stomach, letting her feel the small rounded area a few inches south of her belly button.

"It's so hard." Brooke professed in awe, moving her hand around a bit more to feel the bump from all angles.

"I know, it's so surreal sometimes when I look down, I never got this far…" Her voice trailed off.

Taking her right hand in both of hers, Brooke squeezed it tight in silent understanding, knowing some words were better left unsaid and some wounds better left untouched.

Carried away in their tender moment neither girl could recall the harsh words they had spoken mere moments ago, nor could they see the man in the doorway, that had heard their every word.

* * *

Cath 


	12. Paranoid Eyes

**Author's Note:** You guys own my heart seriously. I keep on feeling inspired and it's all thanks to you. ;)

The next couple chapters are HUGE for this story, in regards to filling in the missing pieces of the past and setting up the future, so I hope you keep reading.

Thanks again to the fabulous Hana who did an amazing job beta-ing as usual and to Jess for unblocking me. hugs

Chapter Twelve "Paranoid Eyes"

_Button your lip. And don't let the shield slip.  
Take a fresh grip on your bulletproof mask.  
And if they try to break down your disguise with their questions  
You can hide, hide, hide,  
Behind paranoid eyes. _

You put on our brave face and slip over the road for a jar.  
Fixing your grin as you casually lean on the bar,  
Laughing too loud at the rest of the world  
With the boys in the crowd  
You can hide, hide, hide,  
Behind petrified eyes.

**Pink Floyd **

"What do you say we order Chinese?" Nathan suggested, signing his name to a few more documents at his desk, as he did.

Haley's stomach turned; Chinese was definitely not something Dumpling craved. "Oh, what about Italian? They just opened a new place down the block and I swear the fried ravioli is an exact copy of that little place we used to go in Durham."

Nathan picked up the receiver with a charming grin. "Then let's do it."

An hour later, they both had polished off their pasta entrees and Haley had just snatched the last fried ravioli.

"You suck, Hales," Nathan sulked, bringing his water bottle to his lips, as she triumphantly popped the last one in her mouth.

"I thought you loved when I sucked." she flirted, causing him to choke a bit on the sip of water he'd just taken.

'_Damn, her pregnancy hormones.' _She had never been this horny in her life and working late nights with her ex, who was the best she ever had, was not helping matters, but God she was climbing the walls and had been for the five nights they'd spent together. Every night her mind would wander to him taking her on top of the desk, pounding in and out of her, giving her the relief she craved…_multiple_ times.

Shifting in his chair uncomfortably, Nathan tried to run sports stats through his head, anything to get his hard on to deflate. With just one hint of the things she used to do to him, she had him at full alert.

'_Would it be so wrong if she just made out with him?' _Her body was growing hot just imagining his tongue fighting with hers, his hands roaming…and that's why she couldn't. Nathan would feel something he shouldn't because lord knows he never kept his hands to himself even with just a kiss, not that she ever wanted him to but still.

"So…" Nathan attempted to speak, however, his eyes were now glued to her chest as she reached over to start to gather the food containers. He had a perfect view of her breasts spilling out of her sky blue lace bra, thanks to the oversized scoop neck cream sweater she was sporting today. It would take at most, one or two seconds to yank that top over her head and have his lips sucking and licking all over the mounds that her bra was showcasing.

"So…"Haley repeated, causing an awkward laugh between them.

The ringing of Haley's cell diverted their attention, and she rushed to grab it out of her purse before it stopped. Seeing the name on the caller ID, though, she hit silent and tossed the phone back in her purse. She was not in the mood to talk one of his flings out of bathroom they had locked themselves in after discovering his _'Wham Ban Thank You Ma'am'_ technique.

"It's only Chris," she explained to a blatantly curious Nathan.

A sour expression crossed his features. "Are you two close or something?" he grumbled, not able to hide his contempt for the poser that was all over _his_ girl.

"We're just friends Nathan," Haley reassured him, trying not to laugh at the relief immediately flashing in his eyes.

Muttering under his breath, he opened a folder on his desk, handing her a couple of papers she needed to look over and sign, which she promptly complied.

"Listen Nathan, I just wanted to say thank you," Haley suddenly said, after a couple minutes of silence, obviously surprising him.

"For what?"

"For keeping your word and not crossing the line while we're trying so hard to get this center up and running," she honestly commended him, while pulling back into a low ponytail with a holder that had been around her wrist.

Smirking, Nathan languidly pushed his chair away from his desk and rose to his feet. Walking out from around his desk he came up behind her and placed his large strong hands on her shoulders, instantly kneading them with the exact amount of pressure he knew she craved.

Instinctively moaning at his touch, Haley closed her eyes and lowered her head some to give him better access.

Leaning down, he brought his lips to her ear. "Trust me Hales, it's taken _every_ ounce of will in me."

"So what's this then?" Haley managed to get out, with a smile, as his long fingers melted her tension away.

Chuckling in that low husky tone that never failed to give her goose bumps, his hands reluctantly left her shoulders. "Just a reminder," he whispered once more in her ear, then strolled nonchalantly back to his chair, ignoring the puppy dog she was now sporting.

"Why'd you stop?" she whimpered.

Opening another file, he raised his eyes to hers. "Because if I left my hands on you for even a second longer, they wouldn't be just massaging your shoulders."

As his eyes went back to the file in front of him, a blush spread across her cheeks. She was definitely going to have to start making sure Lucas was with them at all times. One more late night with Nathan and she wasn't sure she'd be able to stop her raging hormones no matter what mammoth complications would surely ensue.

…

"This is going to be so much fun!" Brooke beamed as she linked arms with Haley and Peyton while strolling through the open doors, thanks to two cheerful salesgirls, of one of the most popular maternity shops in New York City.

"Welcome the Liz Lange Boutique ladies, I'm Elizabeth Ross. Which one of you is the mommy to be?" a polite and stylish woman in her mid forties asked as the girls came into her view.

"We all are," Brooke informed her with a straight face.

"Well, if you come right this way I'll fit you with a selection of pregnancy pillows so you girls can be sure of how things will fit in the next few months. All our mommies find it very helpful in selecting wardrobe choices that will accommodate their changing body."

Once she turned her back to them, Peyton ripped her arm away from Brooke's. "Excuse me, but why do I have to pretend I'm pregnant?"

"Because it's like a glimpse in the future P. Saywer, go with it."

"Yeah Peyton, go with it," Haley teased, loving the fact Peyton was going to be tortured right along with her.

Twenty minutes later… 

"I hate you both so much," Peyton muttered coming up beside them at the large three-way mirror wearing a black strapless maternity dress over a six-month belly.

Brooke turned to face her, in the exact same dress only in a vibrant pink, with a slightly larger stomach. "Ah, you look so adorable!"

Laughing at Peyton's murderous expression, Haley continued to stare at herself in the mirror, a white halter dress with green embroidery across the hem, adorning her would be six to seven month pregnant body. She figured she was going to need a lot of light airy dresses during the last few months, seeing as she was going to have to endure them through spring and summer.

"We so need a picture!" Brooke announced, and began to dig through her purse to find her camera.

"No, no no!" Peyton adamantly objected. "Haley, stop her right this second. You begged me to come to help you wrangle Brooke, now return the favor."

Smiling coyly, Haley put her arm around Peyton's shoulder. "Come on Pey, it will make the baby happy."

"That is so evil Haley James. Using your fetus against me."

Haley smiled innocently. "I would never, but you know dumpling _here_," she pointed to her midsection, "senses when I'm upset and you not being in the picture could send me into a hysterical mood swing."

"Tutormom, quit calling her Dumpling, we agreed on Babycakes and we don't want her to get confused."

"It could be a boy," Peyton taunted.

Brooke gasped in horror, just as Peyton predicted. "You bitch! Take that back right now; it's a girl and you know it."

With a heavy sigh, Haley rested her hands on her lower back, thrusting her bump more outward, a position that would become more and more frequent as she grew, to help alleviate the pressure of carrying the extra weight.

Sensing Haley's aggravation, Peyton plastered a painfully fake smile on her face, as a salesgirl came up and Brooke handed her the camera. After the zillionth picture, though, she was smiling and laughing for real, enjoying this time with her best friends, as they blew kisses to the camera and struck every pose imaginable, bellies and all.

Peyton hadn't been shocked, when she came back from LA and Haley confessed all to her. Maybe it was the artist in her, the part that's supposed to see the truth in anything, to notice the tiniest hint of hidden depths, a person doesn't outwardly want you to see.

Whatever it was, she had known something big was going on with Haley, yet understanding that Haley was similar to her, in the way she dealt with things internally, Peyton hadn't pushed her to talk. She knew when Haley was ready she'd come to her and she had. Sure, Brooke finding out had kind of propelled the confession, but Peyton didn't doubt for a second that Haley would have told them very soon regardless.

…

"Brooke, I can't believe you're still wearing that," Haley chided for the millionth time as they came into their apartment; all three with arms full of bags that contained practically an entire wardrobe from lingerie to evening wear to suit Haley's rapidly expanding figure.

Setting the bags she held down, Brooke rubbed her protruding faux belly that was straining underneath the tight pink top she had worn into the store. "Ok um, Haley please don't refer to my bump as "that". _She _has a name and it's Penelope Gwen Davis after _moi_ and the fabulousness that is Gwen Stefani, who wore sky high heels no matter how pregnant she got.

Haley collapsed onto the couch, rubbing her real, albeit smaller bump through her newly purchased navy kimono sleeved top, with an empire waist. "At least we talked you down to a smaller size. I swear I can't believe you wanted to wear the nine month one."

"You wouldn't have complained when I got us into Nobu without a reservation. There's no way they could say no to a hungry pregnant girl who wants one last night of incredible food before she's sentenced to a life of McDonalds and colored Goldfish."

"Thanks Brooke," Haley deadpanned, not enjoying the visual aid of her future meals.

"No prob love," Brooke happily replied, oblivious to the fact that Haley's gratitude was anything but sincere. "Oh, I forgot to tell you guys Chris called and asked if we wanted to go out to lunch today before he left town."

Peyton halted going through the mail and flipped her left wrist over to get a glimpse of her watch. "Brooke it's four o'clock! "

"Duh, that's why I said I forgot."

"Well, it's my fault too Peyton," Haley interjected. "Chris called last night, but I was with Nathan so didn't answer. Can you believe he's actually jealous of Chris?"

"Yes," Brooke and Peyton answered in unison without hesitation.

Haley sat up a little straighter, crossing her arms over chest. "Oh come on, why? It's Chris."

"Are you serious?" Peyton incredulously asked and at Haley's nod she continued. "Nathan got pissy, if a guy even dared look at you let alone actually talked to you. Hell, he would even get grumpy when Brooke and I took away from his "Hawey" time."

"Well, whatever. I still think it's ridiculous to get jealous of Chris of all people. That's just gross on so many levels." She loved Chris, she did, but the thought of ever dating him made her laugh out loud. He was like the gay guy of their group, only he liked women—if it that made sense?

Peyton rolled her eyes at them all. "What I can't believe is that we sound like we're in high school again. I swear we've had this exact same conversation before. Just insert random guy number 80 in Chris's spot."

Laughing, Brooke laid down on her back with her knees up, her hands resting on her favorite new accessory, _Penelope_. "But unlike those random guys, Haley actually made out with Chris," Brooke reminded Haley, in an attempt to torment her.

Haley flung a pillow at her. "You had sex with him."

"He was actually pretty good Haley. You should have had go before deciding you were immune to him romantically."

"Then we would have had sex with the same guy and I love you Brooke, but that's one thing I never wanna share with you."

"Touché, Tutormom." Brooke flung the pillow back at her.

Catching it, she situated it behind her back. "Initial slime factor aside, Chris isn't such a bad guy though."

_Staring at herself in the mirror, Haley couldn't believe what Brooke had turned her into. She looked like a slut, a sorta hot slut, but a slut nonetheless. Her dress, if you could call it that, was a slinky skintight blinding white number, with teeny tiny gold chain straps, that was so short she was pretty positive it would be impossible to even sit down for fear of giving everyone a free show. _

_Brooke has styled her hair in loose cascading curls and applied so much make-up that she could probably rival any hooker. Then to finish the look off were the five-inch stiletto heeled gold tone metallic sandals that were surely going to break her neck._

_This wasn't her, but maybe that was a good thing. Being herself had only led her into a sea of pain. It was time for a fresh start, a new Haley, one that would always leave her heart at the door._

"_In need of some liquid courage?" A sympathetic Brooke appeared in the doorway; a bottle of Patron in her left hand, a shot glass in the other._

_Slipping on a yellow topaz bracelet and matching ring Haley nodded for Brooke to set it up. _

_Filling the glass to the brim, Brooke handed it to Haley and was taken back a bit when the tiny blonde tossed it back like a pro and indicated she wanted another._

"_Woah, Hales slow down there. __It's__ the guy's job to get you all liquored up."_

_The buzzing of the doorbell sounded around them and sent Haley into panic mode. "Brooke, I don't if I can do this__," she__ confessed, her entire body now trembling._

_Grabbing Haley by the shoulders Brooke managed to hold her still for five seconds. "It's been a year Haley. You need to go out and have fun and that is right up this guy's alley."_

"_And he's nothing like…" Haley's voice trailed off, she still couldn't bare to say his name._

_Pushing Haley's hair back away from her face, Brooke smiled. "I promise he's nothing like you know who. He's a musician that will give you the best ego boost ever, not to mention he could pop your cherry." _

_Stepping away from Brooke, Haley picked up her gold clutch. "I hate to break it to you Brooke, but __you know who__ already did a thorough job of that."_

_Brooke gave her a teasing grin. "True, however, after a year of no customers, I would assume it closed up shop and used your re-grown hymen as a no trespassing sign" _

"_Nice mental image there, Tigger."_

"_I do what I can. Now, smile, stick your chest out, and__ if there is a God in heaven__ spread you legs. A strings free roll in the hay will do wonders for you, I promise."_

…

"_You are so damn smokin__'," __Chris murmured into her ear as they sat with his arm around her in a cozy booth at a posh New York hotspot._

_She giggled, as she finished off her fifth Manhattan. Maybe she was wrong all those years and you actually do need alcohol to have fun. Because the more she drank the more the past become a fuzzy memory…well everything became fuzzy actually, but what mattered was that she was having fun on the first date she'd had since high school_

_Unfortunately, she never needed any help enjoying herself with Nathan. The way he looked at her and touched her had always been enough, even from the very start. Just a brush of his hand could fill her with a rush of excitement that no amount of alcohol could match._

_With Chris though, his touch was beginning to repel her and while the way he looked at her definitely made her feel wanted, it also made her feel worthless, like her body was the only asset he was interested in and sadly it most likely was. So she drank and drank until she could feel nothing but the alcohol coursing through her blood stream._

"_What do you say we get out of here?" He leered at her once more._

_Struggling to get to her feet, she patted him on the cheek. "Let's go Keller."_

…

_Feeling her back hit Chris's mattress, she fought through her drunk haze to feel some sort of ecstasy as he began to kiss his way down her neck to the tops of her breasts. Yet, the only thing she started to feel was contempt for what she was doing._

_With a hard shove, she sent Chris tumbling off the side of the bed. "Oh I'm so sorry__," she__ tried to apologize, although hysterically laughing at his shocked expression kind of voided it out._

_Joining her laughter, he pulled himself back on the bed, laying down flat on his back beside her with his hands behind his head._

"_So, who's the guy?" __he__ begrudgingly asked, once they both had quieted down._

_Turning on her side, she looked over at him. "How did you know?"_

_With a knowing grin, he turned his head just enough to meet her eyes. "No one can pass up drunk sex with Chris Keller unless there's someone else. Of course usually when there is it turns into revenge sex, but I can tell you're not that type of a girl, which doesn't bode well for me getting laid tonight__."_

"_How can you tell I'm not? I'm dressed like a tramp, I drank more than you and I let you take me back to your place on our first date."_

_He thought about his answer for the briefest of moments. "Because even in that outfit you're still the girl that every man longs to have in his bed, with or without sex. The kind musicians like me spend our whole lives chasing and writing songs about. And nine times out of ten your heart always belongs to another."_

_A shy smile graced her lips. "You know you're pretty sweet when you lay off the third person talk every other sentence."_

"_Let's just say I've been where you are."_

"_What was her name?" Haley quietly asked; sobering up a tad from the direction their conversation was taking._

"_Samantha. We broke up on my 21__st__ birthday, the same night I got the call to go out on my first tour. I didn't think she could handle life on the road and come to find out I was the one that couldn't handle it without her. How that's for irony?"_

"_Did you ever tell her?"_

_He let out a long sigh. "I went to tell her and she clinically informed me it was too late. She was getting married to some dependable run of the meal guy and three weeks pregnant with his fucking kid."_

_Tears welled in Haley's eyes. "That's horrible."_

"_You know, I've never told anyone this, but I watched her get married. I guess I had to see it for myself to really believe it was happening."_

"_Did she know you were there?"_

_Indifference washed over him. "No and it was better that way__," he__ stated simply and Haley figured that was as much as he was going to talk about it. _

"_So who's your demon, James? I at least need a name if I'm going to justify not getting any."_

"_Nathan Scott. God, I think that's the first time I've said his name out loud in a year__," she__ mused, amazed at how her heart still skipped at beat at saying his name. Sometimes she wondered if there would ever come a time when her head would catch up with her heart._

"_If it took you a year just to say his name and for that matter go out on a date, I think you need to find a new way to cope sugar."_

_She rolled away from him, onto her back. "Care to fill me in on how you tamed you demon then?_

"_Luckily for you, Brooke gave me your demo and it's easy to see your music and your soul are one and the same, as should be the case with any musician worth their salt. So, the answer is pretty damn simple. Use the pain to fuel your music James, and you'll heal…trust me."_

_And she had done just that. Wrote song after song, until every fracture of her heart could be found in her music. _

_Following his advice had not only helped her heal and actually date again; it had jump-started her career with Maverick. Chris had used three of her songs on his debut album with them and from then on she'd been one of their golden writers._

_Nevertheless, what she'd always remember about that night, more than her personal breakthroughs, was that there was a real human being inside Chris Keller, one that would become a dear friend._

"All right Hales," Peyton started, moving Haley's feet off the couch, then setting them on top of her lap when she sat down. "When are you going to tell him?"

Grabbing a pillow, that had falling to the floor, Haley covered her face with it. "I don't wanna talk about it," came her muffled response.

Yanking the pillow off her face, Peyton tossed it to Brooke who had sat down on the floor in front of them. "Sorry James, I saw you naked today and there's no way you are going to be able to hide that belly for more than another week or two."

"She's right," Brooke conceded, not too happy about the idea of Nathan knowing, yet aware that it could only be held off for so long.

Haley kicked her feet slightly, in a silent plea for Peyton to take her boots off. "I don't know…I can't count the number of times I've opened my mouth to tell him and I couldn't, I literally could not form the words. Why do I have such a block about this?"

"Maybe because he wasn't there the first time," Brooke snit, Peyton shooting her a death glare a beat later as she took Haley's boots off.

"He didn't even know about it, not that I'm sure it would a made a difference, but I can't hold something against him when he never had the chance to have an opinion either way," Haley defended him, something she had found herself doing a lot of lately where Brooke was concerned.

While Brooke was amazingly supportive and keyed up about the pregnancy, her hatred for Nathan had suddenly increased again. It had never bothered Haley before, but somehow carrying his baby had instilled a primitive instinct to protect him where their child was concerned.

She never wanted her son or daughter to be ashamed of who their father was. Not when, in her heart, she knew Nathan was going to be a remarkable one. His relationship with their child should never be tainted by the mistakes he made with her.

With a final dismissive scoff, Brooke dropped the attitude, remembering her promise to be nice for the baby. Sure, it may kill her, but it was worth it for Babycakes.

"Do you think I could just wait and have the baby tell him?" Haley hopefully glanced between her two friends.

Peyton tapped her chin, in mock thought. "Hmm, while Nathan isn't the brightest crayon in the box, I think he'd figure it out by then."

"He's already noticed the boobs." Haley divulged, becoming more and more aware that they were right—she didn't have much time.

The Next Morning… 

"Grande Caramel Frappuccino," Lucas ordered from the sixteen-year old boy behind the Starbucks counter while taking a ten-dollar bill out of his wallet.

"Kind of a frilly drink man," someone commented over his shoulder.

Getting his change, Lucas turned to find that singer, Keller, before him. "Says the man in the rhinestone shirt."

Chris pointed his finger at him. "I'll give you that." He paused to order his own drink, then faced Lucas again. "So, you're Scott, right?

"Yeah and Keller, is it?"

Chris extended his hand. "The one and only."

Shaking his hand, Lucas eyed him warningly. He wasn't sure what to make of this guy yet.

"Well, listen Scott, I like to believe in fate and I think running into you here is a sign. Having said that, just so you know Haley, Brooke and Peyton are my heart," he held his hand to his chest, "and I wouldn't do this unless I loved their diva asses."

"What are getting at?" Lucas interrupted, needing him to get to the point. He was already twenty minutes late

Chris wasn't amused at the brush off. "You know what, never mind. Tell, the girls I'll call them from the road."

"I will." Lucas agreed, not giving him a second glance.

Right as Chris's hand touched the door to leave, his conscience intervened, causing him to do an about face and set his sights on Haley's baby daddy once more. '_Who was he to stand in the way of true love anyway?'_ "Hey, Scott!"

Lucas turned back to him.

"Congratulations you're gonna be a dad."

With those parting words Chris Keller's work was done before Lucas Scott's coffee cup even hit the floor.

…

Lying on her bed, naked, Haley rubbed a combination of cocoa butter and overpriced stretch mark prevention cream, all over her stomach and breasts, something Brooke insisted she do every night before she went to bed and every morning after her shower.

Stretch marks were the "enemy", according to Brooke, and they were going to fight them, no matter what the cost.

That girl never ceased to amaze her.

Shouting from the other room, interrupted Haley's tranquil state and sent her scrambling for her robe. Securing it around her body, she raced out of room to find Lucas and Brooke in a heated argument, with Lucas down on one knee and Brooke hopping mad in front of him.

"Brooke it's all right. I know everything. You don't have to deny it. I'm happy about it, I promise. I love you Brooke Davis and I love our child already," Lucas swore and if he hadn't been completely off base it would have been a very touching moment.

Brooke rolled her eyes. "Jesus, Lucas I told you there is no baby and what makes you think I'd ever accept a proposal from you, especially without a ring?"

"I didn't have time. As soon as Chris let me in on the news, I raced right over here to be with you."

"Chris," Brooke ground out, already plotting his death. Only Chris Keller could make such a colossal mistake.

Haley couldn't keep quiet a second longer, the hopefully look on Lucas's face broke her heart.

"Lucas, it's not Brooke."

Brooke and Lucas whipped their heads around at the sound of her voice, not aware they had an audience.

"Haley, don't," Brooke tried to intervene.

Putting her hand up to stop Brooke, Haley carried on with her confession. "It's me Lucas, I'm pregnant and have been for awhile."

She helplessly watched a flood of emotion flash in his eyes; the prominent one being betrayal, just as it had in Brooke's.

Hiding the truth had done nothing but hurt the ones she loved and she had finally come to understand her silence was hurting her child as well. She only had one choice—to tell Nathan the truth and to do it now.

* * *

Cath 


	13. Tears In Heaven

**Author's Note:** Hey guys, this chapter was probably the hardest for me to ever write for a number of reasons, but I felt I had to write it after witnessing how blase television and some young girls take this this subject matter. I hope I've done it justice.

With that said, I really hope you enjoy this and the next chapter is chock full of NH. We're also going to get alot more of Nathan's point of view coming up. Daddy Nathan is going to be a blast to write. :)

This is for anyone who has ever been in Haley's position and to Jess for talking me off the cliff. I'm so going to win the bet. ;)

Also, Thanks to Christina for being an amazing beta!!

**Chapter Thirteen "Tears In Heaven"**

_Would you know my name  
If I saw you in heaven  
Will it be the same  
If I saw you in heaven  
I must be strong, and carry on  
Cause I know I don't belong  
Here in heaven_

_Time can bring you down  
Time can bend your knee  
Time can break your heart  
Have you begging please  
Begging please_

_Beyond the door  
There's peace I'm sure.  
And I know there'll be no more...  
Tears in heaven_

_Eric Clapton_

_Five Years Earlier…_

_Watching as her digital clock clicked from 4:59 am to 5 on the dot, Haley didn't know if she could even muster the will to get out of bed. For the last two weeks, she'd stayed in the comfort of her bedroom, hiding from the world and this day and now it was here._

_Her door opened slowly and Peyton's peaked in, "I just wanted to make sure you were up." She delicately spoke._

_Offering only getting out of the bed as an answer, Haley made her way into the bathroom. She wanted to scream at Peyton that she'd been up the entire night, but it was useless. All Peyton would do was hug her again and lamely tell her it would all be okay._

_It sickened Haley to her core that people pitied her. She wasn't the victim here, not by a long shot._

_Turning the shower on, she didn't even bother touching the hot nozzle. She was numb on the inside might as well be on the outside too. Stripping her clothes away, she stepped in, not even flinching when the ice cold water sprayed over her body._

_After halfway rinsing the shampoo from her hair, her hand came down and accidentally brushed against her abdomen, brutally reminding her she wasn't as numb as she wished to God she was. Bringing her other hand down, she tentatively placed both on her flat stomach._

_Swallowing a lump of grief in her throat, she massaged her smooth skin. "I'm so sorry…I'm so sorry. I love you more than I ever…thought imaginable…it's just too hard…please forgive me…oh God…I'm so sorry." She couldn't hold back any longer and gut-wrenching sobs began to tear through her, hot tears bursting from her eyes, a stark contrast from the near freezing droplets cascading from above._

_She would never be numb enough._

_Sliding down the shower wall, choking on her painful cries, her hands never left where her child rested beneath. Even as her skin became almost iridescent from the cold, nothing else registered but her unborn child, the pain she felt was for it._

_Two weeks ago, she'd been in Tree Hill, a day away from her wedding, nervously pacing the bathroom floor of her and Nathan's apartment, a positive pregnancy test in her hand._

_And while she had a million what ifs and fears racing through her head, deep down she couldn't help but be happy she and Nathan had created a life out of their love._

_She knew they could get through anything as long as they had each other._

_Then in the blink of an eye her future was ripped away from her, the man that promised to always protect her for the rest of his life, gone._

_He'd changed his cell, moved away and according to his father, wanted nothing to do with her or her child._

_No one knew she'd gone to see Dan mere hours before she was set to leave for New York. It had been her last ditch effort to be able to talk to Nathan, to try and understand why he'd left her and most importantly tell him he was going to be a father._

_When Dan threw five crisp hundred-dollar bills in her face and told her to "take care" of it, she knew she'd made a terrible mistake coming to him. To him she was nothing more than a whore trying to trap his son and that's all she would ever be._

_Realizing she was on her own, she begged him not to say a word to Nathan, to which he coldly declared that he would never ruin his son's future like 'she' had planned to. It was the lowest moment of her life._

_Fleeing to New York, her life felt out of her control, her fear of raising a child fueling her grief over losing Nathan. How could she possibly raise a child without him when, ever since he left she could barely breathe?_

_She wasn't strong enough._

…

_The world around her seemed to be moving in slow motion as she made her way up the driveway, Brooke and Peyton holding on to each of her arms trying to shield her from shouts of the crowd that were loitering at the clinic's entrance._

"_Murderer! Whore! You're going to burn in hell!" Some of the mob yelled after them, holding up horrific images of aborted babies sliced into pieces, hoping to that no girl could go through with it after seeing them._

"_Get the fuck away!" Brooke shouted back behind her, keeping her hold on Haley tight, as a few of the fanatics raced to the side fence to keep their voices heard. _

_The clinic had warned them about this over the phone, but Brooke and Peyton had no idea just how far they would go. The pictures they showed weren't even realistic anymore. They were thrusting images of 2__nd __and 3__rd__ trimester abortions done in other countries in their faces, something that was clearly illegal in the United States. One man even donned a grim reaper outfit, threatening that he would come after them next._

_It was terrifying and they weren't even the ones pregnant._

_Once they were swept inside by a security guard, Brooke ushered Haley to a seat, while Peyton let the receptionist know they had arrived._

_Haley kept her eyes downcast, not wanting to see the looks of sympathy on her friends or anyone else's faces for a second longer. That was until a girl, all of maybe sixteen, came through doors in tears and her boyfriend, Haley assumed, actually looked annoyed she'd interrupted some fascinating article in Entertainment Weekly of all things. He even went as far as to roll his eyes when she tried to embrace him. How could anyone be that cruel?_

_Sharing a look with the girl, before her boyfriend could rush her away, Haley felt her stomach drop. That would be her coming out of those doors any minute, forever changed, doomed towards a lifetime of regret just like she could see reflected in the young girl's eyes._

_Twenty minutes later, another girl emerged, bruises all over her arms, a busted lip, and a deep black eye. She had to have been raped. Haley wanted to run to her, take her in her arms, but what right did she have? That young girl's pain was something hers could never touch upon._

"_James?" A sweet natured nurse asked, as she walked up to the trio of girls._

_All three stood and the woman held out her hand to stop them. "I'm sorry, but only the patient is allowed inside."_

_Brooke and Peyton's faces were panic stricken._

"_Please ma'am, we'll be very quiet and won't get in the way." Peyton attempted to persuade her._

_The women sent them an apologetic smile. "It's the rules. I wish it wasn't, but it is."_

_Nodding, Haley took a deep breath and began to walk with the nurse, never looking back at her friends once, for fear she'd lose her nerve._

_On auto-pilot, Haley wrote a check to the clinic and answered some medical history questions. Then she was brought to a cold room painted sky blue with a painting of the beach on one of the walls. _

_After having a hospital gown placed in her hand she was left alone to change, which she did quickly and pushed herself up onto the examine table, her eyes drifting back to the painting to the right of her._

_She wondered how many girls had laid where she was and stared at the same chaotic waves crashing against the serene beach._

_Was it what they had focused on while their child was sucked from their womb? Did it serve its purpose and calm them fears? Somehow she doubted it. In fact, she was pretty sure that same painting haunted them in their nightmares. _

_The nurse came back barely two minutes later, this time with a doctor in tow that barely acknowledged her existence as he prepped his instruments, pulling a machine over to his side, where he sat on a small stool at her entrance._

_Lying back, as instructed, her hands fell to her stomach and her legs were lifted into stirrups._

_In that second, she couldn't wrap her head around that this was really happening. Somewhere deep inside, she had been praying for a miracle, but no one was saving her, Nathan wasn't saving her and now it was too late._

_Focusing back on the painting, she suddenly saw a child,' her' child playing in the sand, a bright smile on his face. He was smiling at her, at his mommy, the one person in the world that was always going to protect him. _

"_Stop!" She shouted, bolting upright, removing her feet from the cold steel. " I…I… can't do this." She looked frantically towards the nurse._

_The nurse calmly took her hand. "We'll let you get dressed and if you need to talk to someone or change your mind we'll still be here."_

"_Thank you, but I won't change mind. I'm having this baby." She spoke confidently, a hint of a smile across her lips._

_It may have taken her till the last minute, but she had realized that keeping her baby was the only solution for her. She had been waiting so long for Nathan to swoop in and save the day, when all along she had it in her to save herself and her child. _

_Her child's life had always been in her hands and no one else's. She could see that now. At the end of the day it was always her choice and she was choosing to have this baby. With or without a father, it was going to be loved like no other. _

…

_Life could be cruel though, a week later she miscarried. The doctor reassured her it was a complete fluke, that every sexually active woman usually has one, even if they're not aware. He told her that she was in perfect health and that she could go on to have twenty kids if she wanted and that most importantly this wasn't her fault. _

_She knew different though, God was punishing her. No matter how many times the doctor and her friends told her that she was insane, her guilt would never waver. _

_Even years later, when she actually started letting herself be happy and believe she could have more children, the guilt was always there…just hidden more carefully._

Lucas pulled Haley into his arms after she bore her soul and confessed everything to him.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you." He whispered into her hair.

Blinking away tears, she hugged him back. "I should have told you then and I should have told you now."

Backing away so he could look at her, Lucas cupped her cheek. "You're going to be one amazing mother Haley James."

She covered his hand on her cheek with her own. "And you're going to be the best Uncle he or she could ever ask for."

"And I'm going to be the best aunt ever!" Brooke cheered excitedly for herself, interrupting the tender moment in typical Brooke fashion.

"Behind me of course." Peyton added, as she came into the living room, handing Haley a glass of milk.

Brooke scoffed, "Oh please, P. Sawyer, I'm so going to be this kid's favorite and you know it."

Taking a large gulp of her milk first, Haley rose from the couch. "On that note, I'm going to avoid the bloodshed and head over to Nathan's." She handed Peyton back the milk.

"I'll be here when you get back Hales." Lucas promised and she didn't doubt him for a minute. All three of them would probably be in the exact same spot, as when she left, waiting on the edge of their seats.

…

Just as she ventured down the steps of her home, she noticed Nathan stretching in front of his, obviously getting ready for a run.

Wandering over to him, she mustered a bright smile. "Hey."

Looking over, his handsome face lit up. "Hey yourself…You wanna go for a run?"

She gave him an odd look at first, until she realized how she looked. A white sweatshirt over black yoga pants, tennis shoes, no makeup and a messy bun definitely only meant working out or lying on her ass.

"Um, no thanks. Look, I know you were about to leave, but I kinda need to talk to you. Do you mind if we go back inside?"

"Sure, no problem." He sweetly agreed, which made her feel even worse for waiting so long.

Once inside, she immediately went to the kitchen and began to open cupboards.

"Anything in particular you need?" Nathan laughed.

She blushed. "Sorry, um do you have any tea?"

Coming up behind her, he pressed his body into hers. Reaching above her, he grabbed the assorted tea bags from a cabinet that was way out of her reach.

Her breath hitched at the feel of him so close. _'Focus, Haley, focus.'_

Turning around with his body still against hers, she took the box from his hands. "Thanks."

"Your welcome." He grinned, letting her go. If he stayed that close any longer she'd be feeling a lot more of him.

Taking a seat at the counter, he watched her fill the never been used chrome teapot that sat ornately on the also never used stove.

"Not that I mind this visit, but are just using me for my tea or did you really want to talk about something?

She let out a weak sigh. "No, I do need to talk to you…I just don't really know how to do this."

The teakettle whistled and she hurriedly turned of the stove and poured the boiling water in her mug over the Earl Grey tea bag she'd placed inside.

His heart clenched in his chest. "Haley, if this is about you not wanting to be around me anymore…"

"It's not that, I promise. God, this is so hard."

"You're scaring the shit out of me Hales, just spit it out."

"I'm pregnant." She blurted out, a shaky breath following.

Nathan froze, "What do you mean you're pregnant?"

She began to steep her tea, anything to keep her trembling hands busy. "I mean I'm going to have a baby, a child, another life.

"That's impossible, you haven't been dating anyone, how could you be pregnant?" His voice became thick with emotion, the thought of her carrying another man's child literally making him sick. He was about to lose it.

Finally understanding he wasn't catching on, she clarified. "Nathan, it's yours."

He shot out of his chair, his hands gripping the counter. "What the fuck Haley, that's impossible. It's been months since we we're together. Who the hell have you been fucking?" He accused, fire in his eyes, expletives shooting out of his mouth.

Tears welled in her eyes. "Nathan, there is no one else, it's yours. I'm seventeen weeks along and I hadn't been with Landon for at least three weeks before you and I. I would never tell you something like this unless I was sure." She softly answered, slowing approaching him.

Raising her sweatshirt, she took his hand and placed it on her stomach, letting him feel the hard bump that was clearly defined.

His hand began to caress the area, without her aid. "Is this real?"

"As real as it gets."

Taking his hand away, he stumbled toward the coach, needed a second to digest what she had just told him.

Cautiously, she sat down next to him.

"How could you have waited so long?" He faced her, outraged.

"I don't know…I was scared I guess."

"Of what Haley? Of me? Did you think I would be my father or something? Is that how little you think of me?"

"Don't put this all of me Nathan. You haven't exactly been Mr. Reliable."

He threw his hands up in the air. "Jesus Christ Haley, this is my kid too, no matter what I did to you in the past, you had no right to keep this hidden from me."

Tears began to streak down her cheeks. "I made a mistake, I know that, but damn it Nathan you don't know everything."

"Then fucking tell me, Haley because right now I can't imagine anything excusing this."

Her hormones soared, as she tried in vain to keep herself in check. "You weren't there the first time Nathan. When you left I was pregnant and you weren't there…you weren't there." She repeated over and over her tears uncontrollable now.

He couldn't move; his head felt like it was going to explode. _'She had been pregnant when he left?' _That wasn't possible, there was no way. She would have found him, some how.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know till our wedding day and by then you were gone. I went to your father to try to find you"

"You what?" His voice boomed, as stood, now towering over her. "Did he know about the baby?"

She hung her head, giving him his answer.

He slammed his fist into a near by column. "I'm going to fucking kill that bastard."

Haley jumped up and grabbed his arm. "Nathan, don't."

"Who else knows?"

"Brooke, Peyton, Lucas…and Chris." She knew the last two names were his breaking point.

He ripped his arm away from her. "What happened to the baby?" He quietly asked, fear evident in his words.

Crying harder, her body shook and she turned away from him, trying to get a hold of her emotions.

"What happened?" He repeated, more forceful this time.

Whipping around, she faced him, her eyes boring into his. "It died…I killed it." She choked out falling to her knees, burying her face in her hands.

Not being able to even look at her, he took off, the sound of the door slamming her only sign he had left.

…

Laughing at something Brooke had just commented on, Lucas answered the girl's door, the laughter dying in his throat when he saw his brother's seething face.

"Nathan…"

"You fucking knew Luke, you all did." He scanned the room, staring them all down.

"Hold up Nathan." Brooke stormed up to him. "You have no right to be pissed off. She went through hell the last time and surprise surprise you were off being a selfish bastard."

Lucas held Nathan back.

"Fuck off Brooke." Nathan fumed. "She killed our baby. She's the one with no rights."

Peyton spoke up then. "Wait? She didn't kill her baby Nathan."

"She said the words to me Peyton. How do explain that?"

Running her hands through her hair, Brooke looked like she was about to cry herself.

Sharing a look with Brooke, Peyton continued. "She didn't Nathan. Back then she was so lost, she couldn't imagine raising your child without you so we went to the clinic, but she couldn't go through with it. Afterwards, she even became excited about being a mom and then…." Her voice trailed off.

Placing her hand on Peyton's shoulder, Lucas finished for her. "She lost it and apparently she's never forgiven herself."

"She definitely hasn't." Brooke sadly added. "In her mind, she did kill it and I'm not sure if anyone could ever convince her otherwise."

Nathan felt as if he'd been punched in the gut. He'd just left her there, crying for their child, when the only one really to blame was himself. "I…I left her…she's… a mess." He stuttered, trying to come to grips with his entire world changing in the span of ten minutes.

Brooke and Peyton raced around him running to Haley's aid.

Lucas guided his brother to sit down.

"I yelled at her Luke. She's pregnant and I just left on the floor crying?"

"Nate, you didn't know and just to clarify, I didn't know about either pregnancy until about an hour ago."

"She's never going to forgive me. How can she not blame me for losing our first child for the rest of her life? If I was there, maybe…"

Sitting down beside his brother, Lucas switched off the TV that was nothing more than an annoyance at the present time. "You can't beat yourself up over this. Nothing you or Haley could have done would have changed anything. Even if the two of you had gotten married, the outcome would have been the same. It happens to woman everyday."

"I should have been though."

Lucas didn't object because it was true he should have been and no one knew that better than Nathan himself. For the past five years, he's lived in regret.

"What about this baby? Is everything all right? Is Haley all right?" Nathan turned hopeful to his brother.

"Everything's fine. She was only a few weeks pregnant the first time and that's usually when they happen. She's way past the miscarriage mark and very healthy this time around though. The miscarriage was a random occurrence and obviously Haley's as fertile as ever, as gross as it is for me to say. Point is there is no reason to believe this baby will be born anything but healthy and happy.

Nathan breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank God."

The brothers shared a reflective moment before Nathan suddenly started laughing.

"And what's funny?" Lucas asked confused.

"I'm going to be Dad." Nathan beamed at his brother. "Haley and I are having a baby."

Chuckling, Lucas slapped his brother on the back. "Glad to see you finally get that."

"I have to get back to my place man and tell her how happy I am. We're going to have a baby Luke." He jumped up ecstatically.

Shaking his head in mock dismay, Lucas moved to go with him.

The door swung open in front of them, though, with Brooke and Peyton blocking their path.

"Haley's gone." Peyton reluctantly revealed.

Nathan blinked in surprise. "No she's not. She was just there."

"She took the Range Rover and left this." Brooke handed Nathan a note.

_I had to leave, don't try to find me. I'll be back soon._

_Love,_

_Haley_

Sticking the note in his pocket, Nathan tried to move around the girls. "I gotta go."

"Go where? We have to find Haley." Lucas tried to stop him.

"Where do the hell do you think I'm going." Nathan shouted back as he rushed down the stairs and out the door.

There was only one place she would go; at least he hoped there was still only one place.

Hopping in his car, he started the ignition. He was going find her, take her in his arms and tell her everything was going to be ok until she believed it and could say it back.

* * *

Cath 


	14. The Waves

**Author's Note:** Seriously, you guys are the best reviewers ever. With all my stories you blow me away with response. I read every single one of them and they mean the world to me. And for those who say they ramble, never apologize. I love rambles, I do the same with I review others and with author's notes as y'all can tell. ;) Ok, so with this chapter we've hit a big point, a point that's going to bring about ALOT of NH to come and focusing more on the present. This chapter was done a few days ago but after watching the new ep of TH, I had to add a scene between Haley and someone special. I hope y'all enjoy it. A big thanks to Christina for beta-ing. Love you girl! And for those keeping up with my bet with Jess, we are now tied and I'm so going to win. Haha This is dedicated to Bec who helped me out last chap and I know will help me out with many chaps to come whether she likes it or not. LOL hugs Thank you so much.

**Chapter Fourteen "The Waves"**

_I left last night  
I reached the shore  
Trying to find everything I lost  
In a thousand waves  
A million waves  
Still, somewhere I am sure_

_That I will see your face  
I will see you there_

_I've reached the shore  
And nothing ever changed  
In a thousand waves  
A million waves  
Oh still I look for love_

_I bleed but I'm choosing you again  
I'm done but I'm ready to begin_

**_Elisa_**

Washing her hands in the bathroom sink, Haley could already smell the delicious aroma of a home cooked dinner wafting through the air of Karen's house, the one place that would always be home to her.

A little over ten hours before she had picked herself up off the floor of Nathan's living room, not being able to handle being in the same town with him for even a moment longer. She had deserved everything he said to her and more, but she didn't have in it her to see the blame in his eyes, the betrayal of her killing their child. Fleeing was her only option in her mind and where better to go than to the woman that was your second mother, no matter how many years had passed.

She and Karen had kept in touch through hand written letters, ones that Haley treasured and saved in a box beneath her bed. Karen had told her that email was the devil's workshop and taints personalization, so she and, she was sure Lucas too, placated her, however they soon found out she had a point.

Handwritten letters were much more intimate and comforting. There was just something about knowing the person took the time to sit and write each and every word, their emotions flowing though their unique handwriting. Not to mention Karen always included a package of home made peanut butter cookies with butter cream frosting, a favorite of Lucas and her when they were kids.

When Haley had shown up out of the blue with tears pouring down her face, Karen took her in her arms and held for a good half-hour until Haley's tears had subsided. Then, she'd sat quietly and non-judgmentally; as Haley told her everything, including her past and current pregnancy.

Karen had rushed Haley off to take a nap in Lucas's old bedroom, but not before tearfully telling her nothing was her fault and that is baby was a blessing, a gift from God. And to feel guilt over something she could have never controlled only hindered the joy she should be embracing at this time.

Haley scoffed at first, yet when she wrapped herself in the familiarity of Lucas's sheets, a comfort swept over her that reminded her how truthful and loving Karen's home and words had always felt. Maybe she could resolve the past in her heart and enjoy the present…_with time_.

Karen was taking out the roast beef, when Haley emerged from the bathroom. 

"That looks amazing Karen" Haley peaked over her shoulder, to get a look at the goods. Tender potatoes, carrots, and onions sizzled in the juices around the tender hunk of beef.

"Thank you sweetie. Now have a seat. I told you I wanted you rested. You were on the road all day and peanut in there needs you to settle down a bit.

Relenting, Haley took a seat at the kitchen table, taking a banana out of a ceramic bowl of fruit on the table and began to slowly peel it. "So, let me guess Lucas was _'peanut'_ when you were pregnant with him?

With a small laugh, Karen plopped the potatoes out of the pan into a clear medium size-mixing bowl. Adding a dollop of butter, quarter cup of buttermilk, some salt and pepper, she began to mash. "As a matter of fact it was. Every mother has their own nickname and don't let Brooke change your name." She knowingly instructed with a sweet smile.

Haley rubbed her belly. "Nope, I'm pretty stuck on dumpling."

"Do we know if it's a girl dumpling or a boy dumpling?

Taking a bite of the banana, Haley shook her head no. "I could've found out last week, but I didn't feel right knowing if Nathan didn't even know about the baby yet. I'm hoping to find out next week…with Nathan, that is if he even wants to go with me." She sadly stated, dejectedly plopping the half eaten banana back on the table.

Walking over Karen took Haley's face in her small warm hands. "You've always been way too hard on yourself Haley Bryanne James. That boy loves you, he always has and deep down he knows you did noting wrong and it saddens me you can't see that anymore."

Kissing the top of Haley's head, Karen went to grab three plates out of the cupboard, than began setting the table.

Taking a shaky breathe, Haley's attention went to the plates. "Oh Karen, we're you expecting company? I'm so sorry; I should never have surprised you like this." Haley made a move to stand.

Pushing her back down, Karen shook her finger at Haley. "I haven't seen you for five years, missy, you aren't going anywhere, especially when you're carrying my Grandchild."

Smiling, Haley settled back in her seat. "That's true, you know. This baby is going to see you as a grandmother just like I see you as a mom"

Karen swatted at tears pricking her eyes. "Don't make me cry, unless you want extra salty gravy.

"So, who are _we_ expecting then? Do you have a boyfriend I don't know about?"

Attempting indifference Karen shrugged, even though Haley could see right through it.

Giggling, Haley grabbed a nearby pale green ruffled photo album off the bookshelf.

Opening it she was instantly greeted with the site of her and Lucas, all of maybe six-year-olds, dressed for Halloween. He was the powerful He-man and she was the strong vivacious She-Ra, all the way down to her gold boots. Her sword was just as big as Lucas's and she would shout "Prinfess of Powarrrrrrr!" She was missing a few teeth at the time, so pronunciation was not her strong suit back then.

To his credit, though, Lucas never laughed at her, probably because a few months before he'd sounded just like her.

The next page was filled with pictures of her and him at the Rivercourt, at around eight years old. One of her favorites was at the bottom. She had been crying because she couldn't get even close to shooting the ball in the basket, so Keith had picked her up on his shoulders and challenged Lucas to game of one on one in which her and Keith kicked his butt.

She flipped past a few school-related pages and landed on one she'd never seen before, well she had; she just had never noticed the boy in the background. It was a photo of Lucas's little league basketball team right after they'd won some random game. Keith once again had her on his shoulders, it was something they did a lot giving that she was so short and Keith took pity on her. To his credit, he never objected nor ceased to make her feel special every time.

Karen had her arms wrapped around Lucas from behind and Keith had leaned down just enough to allow Haley and Lucas to high five just as the picture was taken. It was great picture, but what she never noticed before was the boy in the background, with the sad envious expression, staring at their display next to his_ 'clearly disappointed in his son's performance'_ father.

"Karen?

"Hmm dear?

"Is that Nathan and Dan." Haley pointed to the pair in the back in the backdrop.

Squinting a bit, a sad smile spread across her lips. "Looks like it. Thank God you came into Nathan's life."

Haley wanted to object, but the truth was even though Nathan broke her heart, she still prided herself in the fact she brought the two brothers together and since Nathan's return their bond seemed to have gotten even stronger. That was one regret she'd never experience in life.

The front door opened causing Haley to jump, yet Karen seemed anything but surprised. "Knock, knock." A man's voice sounded through the house.

Glancing up, Haley saw the one and only Keith Scott saunter into the kitchen, his eyes widening in shock when he caught sight of Haley.

"Get over here gir1." He opened his arms wide.

With a huge grin she flew into his arms and he squeezed the life out of him. "You better never stay away this long again."

She sighed when he let her go. "I know I've missed you and Karen so much."

As he looked her over, she caught his eyes linger on her midsection. When she arrived in Tree Hill it was sweltering compared to New York so she'd borrowed a form fitting baby blue tank top to wear with her tight black yoga pants, to lounge around Karen's house in. It was very comfortable and light; however, it didn't leave much room to question whether or not she was expecting

Caressing her bump, she gave him a shy smile. "I'm having a baby…Nathan and I are."

Keith looked at Karen who just smiled back, clearly happy about the new development. "Well, I'm not sure how that happened, but baby girl, if you're happy I'm happy. I taught you how to cipher gas and fish, though, so I better get a grandpa title out of this, none of that great uncle crap." He chuckled and she hugged him again, his and Karen's support already doing a world of good for her. She knew she had made the right decision coming here.

…

Walking into Haley's bedroom, Lucas finally found Brooke, sleeping contently on top of Haley's bed, with Haley's address book open beside her, the phone cradled in her limp hand.

Nudging her softly, he tried to wake her. "Brooke?"

Lifting her head from the bed, it took her a few seconds to register who was talking to her. "Lucas? Did Nathan find Haley?"

Lying down next to her, he put his hands behind his head. "Yeah, my mom called me just to make sure we wouldn't worry. However, I can't get a hold of Nathan to tell him so God knows where he is."

Relief flooded through Brooke, as she lay back down, staring at the ceiling with Lucas. "That girl is so going to be death of me."

Offering a mumbled agreement, he maneuvered his arm under her neck and pulled her to the side of him. "I don't know what she'd do without you Brooke."

"True." She snuggled further into him. "It goes both ways, though. She's been there through every bad date, cheered me on through every accomplishment, been by my side through every bad day when my parents never even picked up a phone, tutored me through every class in college and through it all, she has never judged me. I'd be lost without her."

Smiling to himself, he ran his fingers soothingly down her arm that was draped across his stomach. "Seems to go both ways."

Just before her eyes shut again, she had to tell him one last thing. "Lucas?"

He yawned, the need for a good long nap taking its toll. "Mmm hmm?

"Just give me some time, ok?"

Squeezing her tighter, his heart swelled at her words, knowing how much it took out of her to ask him that. She may not be ready to admit they are or could be a couple, but asking for time meant she was starting to acknowledge there was something more, something she was willing to take a chance on and that was more than enough to tide him over. "Anything for you."

…

Helping Karen clear the table, Haley couldn't get over how loving Keith and Karen had become. They had told her during dinner, they'd officially began dating four months before and were waiting until Lucas came home again to let him in on the news.

"You two are adorable." Haley swooned, watching Keith walk up behind Karen and kiss the back of her neck.

Karen swatted Keith with a dishtowel. "Not in front of the kid."

Laughing, Haley took a glimpse at the clock on the microwave, realizing that if she hurried she could catch the sunset at the docks. "I'm going to go for a walk. Can I trust you two alone?"

Blushing, Karen freed herself from Keith's arms. "Hey now, I can see Keith any old time, but I haven't seen you in forever. Besides, I don't like you out on the streets alone, it will be dark in another hour."

"It's Tree Hill, Karen. I'll be perfectly safe and back before you know it. We can pig out on ice cream and watch scary movies when I get back just like old times." Haley hugged her quickly, then was out the door before Karen could object again.

…

"Sir! Sir, you can't go in there! You don't have an appointment!" A young red headed guy, probably half his size, tried to stop him.

Nathan shot him a glare. "He's my father, I don't need one."

Bursting through the office doors, Nathan came face to face with his father for the first time in five years, a few _'yes'_ men surrounding him.

Standing up, his father plastered a pathetic shit-eating grin on his face, "Son, what a pleasant surprise. Gentlemen, you'll have to excuse me."

"Yes Mayor.' They all practically voiced in unison. Nathan wasn't sure he'd ever seen such a disgusting site.

After showing them out, Dan closed the door behind them and came back around to his desk. "Can you believe your father is the Mayor?" He boasted. "It would have been nice to have you at my inauguration last month."

"Drop the fucking act Dad. The only reason I'm here is tell you that if you ever so much as breathe near Haley again, I will kill you, I swear to God, I will shoot you in your fucking face." Nathan's threatened, his jaw clenched.

"Son, I don't know where this is coming from."

Nathan felt his blood pulsate through every inch of his body, his adrenaline on high. "Don't fuck with me. You know exactly what you did. All you need to know is that you are never to contact me, Haley or our child. If you do you're going to burn in hell a lot faster than you ever imagined."

"You knocked up that slut aga…"

Nathan had him against the wall, his hand wrapped around his father's throat before he could even finish the word. "Do you think I'm playing with you Dad? I will not lose my family again and I will _NOT_ become you."

Letting him go, Nathan backed away. "What kills me is you lost everything when you lost Karen and _still_ you wanted me to live without Haley. How could you do that? How could you wish your miserable excuse for a life on me? Goodbye _Mr_. Mayor."

And with those parting words and a look of finality that shook Dan to his core, Nathan was gone, leaving nothing but the ghosts of the past to keep his father company until his dying day.

…

"This is where I grew up." Haley strolled down the docks, talking to her baby, her hands on her stomach. "You're Uncle Lucas and I used to chase each other up and down this river walk One day I'll probably be chasing you around it too. You're going to be one little ball of energy I just know it."

"And you're probably going to get sick of me talking to you all the time. Lucky for me, your residence is my body for the next few months and you're not going anywhere. Later on everybody will get their chance to steal you away, but for now you're all mine. Just make sure you save all the bad diapers for Uncle Lucas." She teased.

Before she knew it, she came to a spot that reminded her of the other Scott…_their bench_.

Not being able to stop herself, she climbed on top of it, facing the water. Running her hands over the familiar grooves in the wood a million images flashed through her head, yet one stood out.

"_Did you two like have sex on this bench?" A genuinely curious Brooke asked, as she flipped her brown locks over her shoulder._

_Lucas blanched from his spot beside the couple, all three of them sitting opposite Brooke and Peyton._

_Nathan, who had Haley in his lap with her back relaxed against his chest, rested his chin on her shoulder. "Relax, man. We only did maybe a handful of times."_

"_Stop it Nathan we did not," Haley admonished, her neck exposing a new hue of pink emerging._

"_You're such a liar." He murmured in her ear, causing her to giggle like a schoolgirl._

"_Anywayyyyyyyyyy.' Peyton intervened, "When is this sucker suppose to burn anyway? It's been dark for over an hour."_

_Standing up, Lucas noticed Whitey finally making his way over to the podium. "Whitey has the torch in his hand, so any minute."_

_Drumming her fingers on the table, Brooke was growing restless. "Ok, can we please tell each other what we put in the boat? I need something to amuse me before I pass out and passing out because of anything besides alcohol is not something I enjoy."_

"_That's not the way Haley and I do it." Lucas adamantly objected earning him an eye roll from everyone but Haley._

"_Maybe since we're watching it from a new location we can change the disclosure rules too." Haley sweetly spoke, touching Lucas's shoulder._

"_I go first!" Brooke announced, bouncing a bit in her seat. "Listen!" She snapped her fingers, annoyed Nathan was nuzzling Haley's neck, clearly distracting her._

_Smiling sheepishly, Haley motioned for her to continue._

_Giving her best doe eyed look she reached across the table and patted Haley's hand that lay lazily on the table. "I burned 'the' poncho Tutorgirl."_

"_Brooke! The whole damn point is to burn something of yours!"_

_Glancing away unfazed, Brooke eyed a cute boy walking by before turning back to Haley. "Why would I throw away my stuff? I love everything I own. And since apparently I'm not doing this right, Lucas you're up."_

_He cleared his throat. "Well, I burned my jersey," he revealed. A sadness he hadn't intended, sweeping over the table._

"_Luke…" Nathan started, but he couldn't find the words…there were none. Basketball and Haley were the two things in this world that had meant more to both brothers than anything else in this world and it frightened Nathan that soon Lucas would have neither. _

_He and Haley had tentatively decided weeks ago to attend Stanford in the fall, away from Dan and the pressures of Tree Hill. And while they hadn't spoken about it yet he knew his brother was taking it hard. Life without basketball was a bitter pill to swallow, but losing Haley was a much worse fate to accept. She was the one that always saved them, always encouraged them and most important always got them off their asses and showed them what life is all about._

_Tightening his grip on Haley, Nathan kept his eyes trained on the tranquil water, until his brother finally spoke. Lucas never rushed anything out, when he was ready to speak, it had been said in his head at least three times to make it as eloquent as possible._

_"As Alexander Graham Bell said "When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us." I've been staring at the door that is basketball for far too long; it's time to refocus my life on other aspects I love. Instead of NBA star Lucas Scott, you're going to have to deal with best selling Author Lucas Scott. Being a writer was something I secretly always wanted and now is my chance to put all my energy into it."_

"_Oh you can be on the Oprah Book club." Brooke proclaimed with her dimples in full effect as everyone let her comment pass._

_Leaning over Haley hugged Lucas from the side, as best she could in Nathan's lap. "You're going to leave you mark on this world, I know it." She whispered to him, her eyes focused intently on his._

_Pulling her back away from Lucas, something that would always be a reflex to him, Nathan went next. "That was touching Luke, but I got you beat." He sent his brother a challenging smirk, adding a much needed relief to what had become a tension filled moment._

_Turning slightly, Haley quirked her eyebrow, clearly intrigued._

_Giving her a sly grin, he continued. "I burned my autographed Jordan jersey."_

"_What the hell Nathan?" Lucas blew out, outraged and confused as to why his brother would part with his most prized possession, something that he could have at least sold verses burning._

"_My Dad gave it to me in the hospital and I just didn't want the reminder around anymore. It's been on my wall since I was ten and every time I look at it I see Dan and that's never going to change so I tossed it."_

_Without warning, Haley pulled Nathan into a heated kiss. She knew the story behind the jersey and she wanted to wipe every bad memory out of Nathan's mind, remind him of the happiness in his life now._

_When he was still a young boy, his father had forced him to stay out in the pouring rain on a cool January day for six hours until he perfected his three point shot. He'd already had a nasty cold and soon after that day he developed pneumonia and ended up in the hospital for over a week. Dan had bought him that jersey as a peace offering, but like all the times before it never lasted long and the pressure his father put on him only intensified._

_Breathless, the couple finally pulled apart. Nathan's eyes darkened with lust as Haley's reflected love and understanding._

"_You know I'm usually all about free porn, but can we please move on. I don't need to be reminded how dateless I am on a Friday night." Brooke whined._

'_No prob Tigger." Haley turned back around and smiled. "Well, I was going to wait until later to announce this, but this day is about throwing out the old and welcoming the new, so…I'm going to Duke."_

_No one said a word for at least a full minute, Brooke and Peyton waiting for some reaction out of the boys first._

"_Huh?" Nathan finally spouted out._

_Facing him, she laughed at his expression. "I put my acceptance letter to Stanford on the boat. Playing basketball for Duke is your dream Nathan; I can get an amazing education at Duke…"_

"_And I can play ball at Stanford." _

_She shook her head no. "It won't be the same for you. I decided about Stanford when I was fourteen. You've wanted to be a Blue Devil since before you said your first word. Besides this way we can stay close to Lucas." _

"_What about Dan?" Lucas interjected this time, knowing that had been one of their main deciding factors in choosing Stanford._

_Haley shrugged indifferently. "What about him? He can only hurt us if we let him and with all of us young Scotts backing each other up, we're invincible."_

_Standing up, with Haley still in his arms, Nathan spun her around happily, kissing her soundly on her giggling lips. _

_At that second, the boat behind them illuminated with brilliant hues that only a fire could induce. It was beautiful and hypnotic just like the couple celebrating on the banks of the very river that surrounded it._

"Camilla used to love to sit and stare out at this river."

Haley looked to her right and found the one and only Whitey approaching her, he looked exactly the same and Haley's heart warmed at his familiar presence. "Coach!" She jumped off the bench and hugged him close.

"Good to see you too, Miss James." Whitey chuckled in that deep rich tone that was so commanding, even in kindness, as they pulled apart. "Do you mind if I join you?"

"I would love it." Haley genuinely spoke then sat down opposite him, resting her arms on the table.

They stayed silent for few minutes; the sound of the small waves crashing against the pillars of the river, lulling them into a tranquil moment.

"Well, Miss James, when's the little one due?"

At first she didn't know what to say, but one look at her outfit reminded her that her outfit didn't conceal too much. "Beginning of August…I guess it's pretty obvious, huh?"

"Maybe just a little, but truthfully Nathan called me today and shared the good news."

"Oh." Haley mumbled before finding the courage to ask him a bit more. "What did he say?"

Whitey smiled to himself. "He was over the moon. In fact, I could barely get a word in edge wise."

"He was happy?" Haley asked, her line of sight following a small barge passing them by.

With a long sigh, Whitey knew he couldn't just sit idly by. "I don't know details about you two, but I do know the only time I ever truly saw that boy happy was when he was with you and being in your life again and this baby on the way is his second chance at that happiness. Nathan can be hard headed and quick tempered, but you know his heart Miss James. Trust in that again and take it from an old fool, who still reaches for his wife every night and every morning, people make mistakes, say things they shouldn't, but living in the past only leaves you lonely."

Haley felt tears well in her eyes and she quickly batted them away. "How can you stop the past from messing up the future? Nathan and I have so much history and I'm terrified that will affect us raising this baby. I mean we can't be together again, yet we're tied for life."

Patting her on her nervous joined hands, he let out another gruff chuckle. "You need to get that _'can't'_ word out of your head. As I always told my players, anything is possible, especially when you have the determination that those Scott boys have."

"True, but James's can be stubborn too."

"Don't I know it? I coached all three of your brothers and let me tell you, I had a full head of hair before them."

Laughing, Haley swung her feet aimlessly. "God, they were a handful."

Whitey nodded. "But you Haley, remind me of Camilla. She was as stubborn as the day is long, yet had such a patience and understanding with me that no one else ever came close to. She was and still is my salvation and that's what you are to Nathan and even Lucas. I will never forget the day I came into the gym, this wasn't too long after you and Nathan started dating. Anyway, he and Lucas were still fighting like two cats in a sack, but there you stood, the tiniest thing I ever did see, yelling a two sorrowful Scotts for getting into another scuffle. I have never seen fear like that in those boys' eyes."

"And then you took me aside and asked me what my secret was." Haley finished, remembering with a wistful smile.

"I believe you just looked at me and shrugged. I don't think you ever knew or still know how much power you have over those two."

"That's not always a good thing." She joked, even though truer words had never been spoken.

Standing up, Whitey leaned back a bit to stretch his back. "You gotta take the bitter with the sweet my dear."

Looking up, she could see he was ready to leave and she stood up beside him. "Thank you Coach."

"Just remember my name when it's time to name this little one." He pointed to her belly.

With a radiant grin, Haley hugged him one more time. "You got a deal, only if you promise to spoil this baby rotten like only a grandfather could when we come to visit."

Haley saw a flash of happiness cross his face before his tough exterior came back. "I'd like that." He grumbled out, looking at the ground.

He really was just a big ole' teddy bear. She could already picture Whitey bouncing her child on his knee. She also knew how happy it would make Nathan to let their child get to know Whitey, the only useful father figure Nathan ever had.

"Good, because I need someone on my side against this little Scott I'm carrying."

A few pleasantries and promise of baby updates to come, Haley was once again alone, the receding sun creating a spectacular sunset reflecting off the dark water.

She heard footsteps behind her and figured Whitey was coming back to tell her she should be heading home before it got too dark. "Coach, I'm fine, I promise."

"You're a little high on yourself, aren't you? Going around telling people you‚re all fine."

Her head whipped around at the familiar words, her ponytail flying as she came face to face with a smirking Nathan. "What…what…"

"What I am I doing here?" He finished her thought as he sat down across from her, right where Whitey had sat just moments before.

"Yeah." She laughed nervously, hating how he could make her so tongue tied to this day.

"You remember that big fight we had about Lucas when we first got together?"

Grimacing Haley nodded her head. "Unfortunately yes, you came over to my house at the crack of dawn and found Lucas in my room, on the floor mind you."

"Hey, Lucas and I had just called a truce and knowing you had called him when your parents left town just hit my male ego a little hard."

"But if you remember I explained that. I didn't trust myself alone with you at night."

He grinned. "I'll never forget that line Hales. It's the reason I started sneaking into your bedroom. That and the fact that sleeping beside you was an addiction I never wanted to break."

"Just get on with the point."

"Damn those pregnancy hormones already kicking in?" At her put off look, he carried on. "My point is that afterwards I found you here and you told me it reminded you of how we started and would always be a beacon when things got rocky with us. It would always make you see what mattered most with us."

"I remember" She softly answered.

Gazing out at the water, he felt her do the same and somehow knowing their gazes were one with the same object gave Nathan that sense of calmness only being with Haley could instill and the strength to face their issues head on. "It's not your fault, you know?"

"Brooke and Peyton told you everything?"

"Yes."

"Then how can you not blame me?" She whispered her voice laced with five years worth of grief.

Instinctively his hand reached for hers. Encasing her tiny hand softly, he brought their joined hands to rest on the table between them. "I'm the one who wasn't there for you, it's my fault. Blame me Haley, blame me and hate me for the rest of your life, just please quit blaming yourself."

Silent tears spilled down her cheeks. "You didn't know."

"I should have never left in the first place."

"Nathan, don't." She couldn't go there, not now or even anytime soon.

Understanding he veered back to the more pressing subject at hand. "Whether you want to believe this or not, you deserve this baby, more than anyone, I'm just the lucky bastard who gets to be the father because I sure as hell don't deserve it."

She squeezed his hand. "You do…we both do. Maybe if we get reminding each other of that every now and then we can actually do this."

"Sounds like a plan," Nathan agreed, his voice lightening, his thumb stroking the back of her hand.

"You're going to be a good father Nathan, I want you to know no matter what I never doubted that."

Somehow, even after all this time, Haley never ceased to find the words that he needed to hear the most. He used to joke she had some weird psychic powers over him, but the truth was she knew him better than he knew himself and he liked to believe it worked both ways.

Standing up he moved away from their table, his hand still holding hers, as she mimicked his actions until they were standing in front of each other, eyes locked.

"We're going to get through this." He promised and she believed him.

"Together." Haley added. "We'll get through this _together_." And he believed her.

* * *

Cath 


	15. Heavenly Day

**Author's Note:** You guys are the best reviewers on the planet. I read every single one for the last chapter of this and with _**Learning to Breathe**_ about 3 times, as I always do. hugs They all make me so happy. I hope you enjoy this next chapter.

This is for Lex, for giving me the song and thanks to Hana for beta-ing. Oh and Jess, the bet is so on and I'm winning this time. ;)

**Chapter Fifteen "Heavenly Day"**

__

The smile on your face  
I live only to see  
It's enough for me baby  
It's enough for me

No one on my shoulder  
Bringing me fears  
Got no clouds up above me  
Bringing me tears

Oh all the troubles gone away  
Oh for awhile anyway  
For awhile anyway  
Heavenly day  
Oh heavenly day

Patti Griffin

They had stayed in Tree Hill for a few more days, spending time with Karen, Keith, and Whitey, often all having dinner together each night. Nathan had stayed at his mother's, having had the house to himself with her still in rehab and his father's permanent residence being the beach house.

On Wednesday morning, Nathan met Haley at Karen's and followed her back to New York until she was safely back in the worried arms of her roommates.

"You know, I'm thinking of installing one of the chips in you, Haley, or better yet fit you with an electronic dog collar that'll shock you every time you leave the city limits," Brooke proposed, only after hugging Haley for a good five minutes first.

Peyton, who was at the microwave re-heating a plate of spaghetti, laughed. "Somehow, I doubt being electrocuted is the best thing for the baby, Brooke."

Taking a seat at the kitchen table and being quickly followed by Brooke, Haley nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I'm not really feeling the whole shock collars, at least until he or she is of dating age."

Brooke took the now warm plate of food from Peyton and sat it in front of Haley. "Eat and please tell me you are not going to be one of those moms who won't let their kids date until they're thirty?"

"Not thirty, I'm all right with fifteen or sixteen, as long as I approve of said date."

Pouring herself a glass of wine, Peyton joined them at the glass topped table. "You might want to run that tidbit by Nathan. If you have a girl there is no way he's ever letting her out of the house.

Haley giggled, wrapping her spaghetti around her fork. "Can you imagine our daughter bringing home a boy like him?"

"She will, it's karma," Peyton revealed. "Just like Brooke's son will bring home some high maintenance drama queen that thinks of sex as a hobby."

"And Peyton's daughter will bring home a freaky ass Goth, who thinks Marilyn Manson is God, and finds suicide pacts a fun way to say '_I love you'_."

Waving her white napkin between the two of them, Haley took a big bite of her dinner.

"Sorry Tutormommy. Oh and speaking of if it's a girl or boy; we get to find out to-mo-rr-ow!" Brooke happily sing-songed, not noticing her pregnant friend's sudden discomfort.

Swallowing, Haley turned and gave her friends a nervous smile. "About tomorrow…"

Peyton had a feeling where this was going.

"Nathan and I had a long talk and…um basically he wants to raise this child with me and I want him to be hands on too."

"Oookay," Brooke laughed, figuring as much. She may hate the bastard, but even she wouldn't want Nathan not to be a part of his child's life.

Haley took a quick sip of water, the bottom of the glass clinking against her plate when she sat it back down. "It's just, even though I want you and Peyton there, I think this is something Nathan should be a part of."

Brooke flicked her wrist. "Fine, he can come too."

Peyton leaned forward a bit. "I think what Haley is saying is that this is something she and Nathan should be doing _alone_. Besides, I doubt the doctor wants an audience while he's trying to do his examination."

"Oh," Brooke mouthed when it clicked. Haley could tell she was hurt, but before she could comfort her, Brooke gave her a bright smile. "It sucks, but you're right. This is something you two should share together—in private. But I swear on all that is holy, if you do not call the second you leave that office, pregnant or not I will make your life a living hell."

"Thank you B. Davis." Haley smiled, bumping shoulders with her, just before putting another forkful of spaghetti in her mouth. Brooke may be fiercely loyal to the point of overkill at times, but when it came down to it, she always did what was best for you, even if she didn't like it.

"Of course I'm also going to request you get me at least three shirtless shots of Dr. McCreamy," Brooke compromised, moaning after saying his nickname.

Haley and Peyton both looked disgusted.

"That is so gross Brooke." Haley grimaced, not needing that mental image of Brooke in her head."

"What? He's like McDreamy and McSteamy all rolled into one." Brooke licked her lips in lust.

Peyton had to concede "Ok, Hales, I have to agree with Brooke on that. I mean as cliché as this is and as anti romantic as I am, I _literally_ got lost in his eyes during your visit two weeks ago. I couldn't remember my name, my address and could have cared less."

"You guys are sick. How could you date a man that spends his days with head down there?"

"For that exact reason alone," Brooke dreamily professed, clinking her wine glass with Peyton's.

…

Easing into bed, Nathan was just about to close his eyes when his cell began vibrating on the nightstand.

Fumbling around, in the dark, he located it and pressed talk. "Hello?"

"Nathan?"

"Yeah? Who is this?" The voice was slightly muffled, making it difficult for him to distinguish.

"Honey, its mom."

He blew out an annoyed breath. His mother had been in and out of drug rehabs for the last six years, leaving him no choice but to cut her out of his life and dread her calls. For the two years, however, they'd never spoke a word, save a voicemail here and there, until now that is.

"Nathan, I know you don't want to hear from me, but I've been clean for six months now. I'm sorry I haven't called sooner, I just didn't think you wanted to speak to me."

He sat up, rubbing his forehead. "Then why are you calling now?"

She fiddled with something on the other end of the line. "Karen and I still keep in touch and she let it slip."

"If you say one negative thing," Nathan threatened.

"No, I wouldn't, I swear. Listen, I know you may not believe me, but I've only ever wanted you to be happy Nathan and even if I didn't act like it, I knew Haley was your happiness. I was just so depressed after things ended with your father and I felt I was losing you too. The irony of it was that I wasn't losing you at all, in fact I was gaining a daughter and I wish I could have seen that then. I'm sorry I didn't support you, but I want you to know I'm so thrilled you found your way back to her again."

"We're not together," he quietly informed her, his words no longer harsh.

"You're having a child together and you love her. It will happen, Nathan. Don't ever stop believing that."

How was it that no matter how much pain she had put him through, she could still manage to reduce him to that little boy who used to spend hours waiting for her to call from one of her many trips; the boy that needed his mother in his life.

"Mom? Are you really ok? Don't lie to me this time."

"I am and now I have something to keep me strong, my grandchild."

For some reason, he believed her this time. "Just don't let him or her down."

She was crying now. "I won't, I promise."

Nathan cleared his throat. "Listen, I need to get some sleep."

"Ok." She paused, weighing rather not to push it and ultimately decided she had nothing left to lose. "Do you think maybe I could come visit you and Haley sometimes?" she proposed hopefully.

"Maybe," he answered hesitantly, not ready to guarantee anything just yet. He couldn't have any doubts when and _if_ he exposed her to Haley and their child.

Nevertheless, "maybe" was more than enough to his mother.

…

Buzzing Nathan in, Peyton unlocked the door and left it open for him to just come in while she returned to the comfort of the couch and her sketchpad.

"Is Haley ready?" he questioned as soon as he entered the door.

"You're twenty minutes early," Peyton reminded him, not ceasing her drawing or bothering to look up."

He started to pace nervously between the kitchen and the living room, promptly annoying her. Tossing her pad on the table in front of him, she snapped her fingers to get his attention. "Sit the hell down."

Doing so, he began to bounce his knee repeatedly, his Nikes squeaking on the hard wood floor.

"Nathan! It's just a doctor's visit." Peyton laughed, she'd never seen Nathan Scott ever this nervous, even up against his toughest opponents.

He looked at her like she was insane. "Just a doctor's visit? I'm about to see my child for the first time on one of those ultimatsound machines and find out if Haley and I are having a son or daughter. That a big damn deal Peyton."

"Ultrasound."

"What?"

"It's not ultimatesound, it's ultrasound," she clarified with a rueful shake of her head, '_Men_.'

He groaned, not believing he'd already screwed something up.

Peyton reached over and patted his knee as if calming down a three-year-old. "You're going to do fine Nathan."

"You ready?" A glowing Haley appeared her hair in a high soft ponytail, a few wisps framing her face and proving that was nothing sexier than a pregnant woman, especially when that woman is Haley James.

Wearing black Bermuda shorts, black peep toe pumps and a stretchy cobalt blue top with shirred capped sleeves that clung to her growing belly. Thank God they lived in a time when pregnancy fashion was all about emphasizing the new assets verses covering them up.

Jumping up, he wore a smile as big as Texas on his face and held his arm out for her to take. "Let's go."

…

Coming out from behind the curtain, Haley held the back of her gown closed and carefully hopped up on the examining table.

"You know I've seen it before Haley." Nathan smirked from his spot in a wooden chair across from her.

"That doesn't count," she shyly reprimanded, crossing her ankles.

"Whatever you say Hales." He chuckled at her logic.

The door swung open and Haley's doctor emerged, eyes downcast on Haley's chart.

"Well, Haley, your weight and blood pressure are perfect. You ready to find out the sex?" He finally looked up, surprised to find a man with her patient. She had never mentioned the father before and at her last visit she had been flanked by two very beautiful girls that asked him more questions than any father he'd ever seen.

"Doctor, I'd like you to meet Nathan Scott, the father. Nathan this is Dr. Travis."

"Nice to meet you." The doctor shook his hand. "So, let's get started, shall we? Lay back Haley and put this," he handed her a small thin blanket, "over your waist to cover you up when we have to lift your gown and Nathan pull that stool over there up beside Haley, you'll be able to see better that way."

Looking at Haley, she nodded that it was ok and he did as instructed.

After they were all situated and Haley properly covered, the doctor raised her gown and squirted the cool jelly onto her smooth protruding abdomen.

That was the first time Nathan had seen the _actual_ bump, where their child was growing. He'd felt it, more the once, at least ten times in Tree Hill, but never laid eyes on it.

Haley's stomach had always been one of his fetishes, his fingers and tongue constantly gravitated to it and now he was about a second away from jumping her. Her skin looked like silk as it effortlessly stretched into a solid rounded belly. She'd never looked more beautiful and his fingers were itching to run across her newly acquired curve, then slip even further down.

Taking his hand, she got his attention and titled her head to motion towards the screen, with a gorgeous smile.

"And there's your baby." The doctor pointed to the monitor; the amber colored image clearly featuring a tiny 3D baby floating around by a cord, its arms and legs tucked into its body.

Feeling her intertwine her fingers with his, he finally took a breath. It was the most mind-blowing thing he'd ever laid eyes on. His child, _their_ child, was right there before them.

He'd heard second hand accounts, but nothing ever prepares you for that moment, that moment of complete and utter awe at the life you helped create. No one could possibly comprehend the magnitude until they experience it for themselves.

"And look there, he's waking up just for us. Now maybe we can get a look at the goods." The doctor joked lightly moving the transducer probe around a bit to get a better angle.

"Oh my God," Haley murmured, watching her baby slowly stretch its tiny body, then semi curl back into the fetal position, obvious not quite ready to wake up completely. Luckily, he wasn't as balled up as before and the doctor could clearly make out the sex.

Once he got the shot, he pressed a button and froze the image, as well as printed out two copies, one for the parents, one for their records.

Turning back to the parents to be, he looked at them expectantly. "So you really want to know?" He grinned with a hint of smirk, knowing he held the answer that would shape the rest of their lives.

Haley looked over at Nathan and squeezed his hand. "You sure you want to?"

"Yeah, I mean if you're sure."

She faced the doctor again. "Go ahead"

Pointing out the genitals, he smiled. "It's a boy. Congratulations, I'll give you two a minute," he kindly offered, then stood and walked out of the room.

"A boy?" Nathan repeated with the most beautiful smile that Haley had ever seen gracing his lips.

Impulsively, he leaned down and brought his lips to hers in a long tender kiss, all the while never letting go of her hand.

She was too stunned to move, but her eyes still instinctively closed, savoring it, a little moan escaping when she thought it ended.

Bringing his lips to hers a second time, he whispered, "Thank you," against them, then kissed her softly again before refocusing his attention back to their son.

Blinking away tears and telling herself they just got caught up in the moment, Haley brought her attention back to the screen, as well, her fingers still locked with his, as they gazed at their child…_their baby boy_.

…

"Nathan I'm not due until August. Why are we doing this now? Haley whined as he dragged her into Babies R' Us.

"Exactly, you're due in August, you're already eighteen weeks and we have nothing," he countered, grabbing a cart and swiveling it over to her. She had always demanded control of the cart since he'd known her and he doubted that had ever changed.

Leading her straight for cribs, they found an entire area with intricate themes set up. He looked back at her confused. "None of them are basketball?"

"There's a whole sports one over there, with basketballs, baseballs, footballs and soccer balls." She pointed to his left.

"Baseball? Are you serious Haley? No way our son is playing baseball." He scoffed heading to a large booklet full of themes.

Pushing the cart over to him, she grabbed his elbow. "Nathan picking a theme is a big decision I want to think about. How about we start off slow picking out some outfits?

A tad disappointed they wouldn't be buying everything today, he followed her to the massive newborn section that was filled to the brim. She was probably right about holding off on the nursery, now that he thought about it.

What were they going to do anyway? Buy two of everything? Or would they be back together by then and only be setting up one nursery? There were so many what ifs, but he forced them out of his mind. Today he found out he and Haley were having a son and that was enough for now.

An hour later, their cart was packed with everything from basketball inspired outfits to dressier ones Haley had chosen. Neither could say no when the other held something up; the image of their son wearing it, overwhelming them every time.

"You wanna grab some lunch?" Nathan looked at his watch, figuring she'd be hungry by now too. It was past one o'clock.

"We really should get back home. I never called Brooke and I know she's freaking out."

"True, but I'm sure you could go for some Penne Gorgonzola?" he baited with a evil glint in his eye.

She rubbed her belly, mulling it over. "You know I can't resist Italian and apparently neither can our son."

"I was counting on it." He grinned, snatching up a mini basketball from a bin of toys near the check out lanes and tossing it in their basket, to which she could only laugh.

…

"I can't believe we spent over a thousand dollars on baby clothes."

Shrugging, Nathan took the two tiny bags that he'd allowed her to carry from her arms and sat them down on the sidewalk beside the trillion he'd been holding. "The boy needs clothes Hales," he informed her while clicking the unlock button on his key chain.

"Yes, he does, but I think it's a bad sign that this is our first shopping trip and we've already gone overboard."

After setting the bags in the back, Nathan opened the passenger door for Haley, holding her hand as she stepped up into his SUV.

Climbing behind the wheel, he continued their conversation. "We're both doing well, we can afford it."

"True, but I don't want our son being spoiled rotten," she chided, situating her seat belt so it wasn't directly sitting on her stomach.

"Say it again." He grinned.

She glanced over at him. "What? Our son?"

His grin widened. "It sounds pretty great, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, it does." She smiled, enjoying the day they were spending together more than she thought possible. Having Nathan by her side sometimes made her feel as if he'd never left.

He had, though, and no matter how much she was growing to enjoy time with him again and loving seeing him as a father to be, nothing was ever going to change that fact, even when she wished something could.

Once they arrived at the restaurant, they were seated in the same booth she had sat that night with Landon, when Nathan had succeeded in ruining her evening.

"Bring back fond memories?" he cockily inquired, knowing she was thinking about the last time they were there just as he was.

"Normally, I'd slap you for a comment like that, but getting rid of Landon wasn't such a bad thing."

His eyes danced with mischief. "Why is that? Couldn't compare to the Great Scott?" That had been another favorite nickname of hers for a certain appendage of his.

"Well, I did see Lucas accidentally in the shower one day; I was blinded quickly after, but from what I saw I guess he outdid Landon," she seriously replied, albeit with a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"Cute Hales," he sarcastically quipped, not needing the image of her seeing his brother in his head.

She laughed lightly as she drank some more of her ice cold water, unknowingly causing her little one to become fully alert.

Soon, the waiter approached them and took their orders.

Handing their menus back to the waiter, Haley opened her mouth to go over a few things about the center when her face twisted in confusion as her eyes fell to her stomach.

"What's wrong, is it the baby?" Nathan's worried words called out to her.

Shaking her head no, she gasped at the new sensations. "C'mere."

Sliding over right next to her, she immediately took his hand and placed it on her belly.

"Do you feel it?" She kept her hand tightly over his. "For the last week it's felt like a little goldfish swimming around in there, but I've never felt these…these distinct jabs," she described in wonder.

Pressing his hand more firmly into her skin, he suddenly did feel it. Coming from inside of Haley, were unmistakable vibrations that felt like muffled pops against his palm.

"Wow, that's our boy, Hales, that's our son." Nathan proclaimed in awe, utter joy radiating off his words. His free arm wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him, giving him access to lay a sweet kiss on her temple.

The rest of meal they remained locked in each other's arm, holding onto to the moment as long as possible, with their hands rarely leaving their son and the miraculous show he was giving them.

…

"Where the hell have you been?" Brooke demanded, as soon as Nathan and Haley returned, arms full of bags.

She gasped, horrified when she noticed they went shopping. "Isn't it bad enough I couldn't go to the doctor, but you went shopping without me Haley? For shame."

Lucas came out from the bathroom, securing his belt buckle. "Well? What is it?"

Peyton ran in from the bedroom. "Wait! Don't say a thing till I get seated," she ordered, then planted herself on the arm of the couch. "Ok, go."

"You tell them." Haley nudged Nathan lightly.

Reaching over, he clasped her hand in his, then turned his attention back to their audience. "We're having a boy."

The girls screamed in excitement.

Grinning in pride, Lucas bumped fists with his brother and joined him a typical man hug. "And the legacy continues." He congratulated before stepping over to Haley, placing his hand on her stomach. "Hey there buddy, thanks to me you're actually going to know how to fix a car."

"Thank God," Haley joked, tossing her head back dramatically.

"Get the hell out of the way Broody." Brooke shoved Lucas to the side and threw her arms around Haley. "We're going to have a little man!" she squealed, jumping up and down, already imagining how she was going research every stitch of clothing Gwen Stefani's son Kingston owned.

"I'm so happy for you guys." Peyton reached up and hugged Nathan.

"Thanks Peyton." Nathan smiled.

"And Haley Bub, I'm personal throwing the names Led, Jagger, and Townshend into the ring." Peyton advised her.

Haley wrinkled her nose. "Towshend Scott might be a little much."

"Yeah, I big hell no on that one Peyton." Nathan shuddered.

"We'll talk later." Peyton winked conspiratorially at Haley, not giving up on the name just yet, even if it was futile.

Brooke picked up a few bags that Haley and Nathan brought in from the front door. "Come on Hales, show me everything!" Brooke thrust the bags up before plopping them down on the coffee table.

Peyton quickly grabbed the other bags and sat on the couch taking an outstretched jumper Brooke was gushing over in her hands.

"I better join them before their clocks go into overdrive," Haley quipped to the boys then joined the girls.

"She looks happy Nate," Lucas stated, watching Haley show off her son's first ever wardrobe purchases.

"Yea, she does." Nathan smiled at the sight, Haley turning and smiling back when she caught his stare.

Something had shifted between them during the course of their day. Seeing and feeling their son together had solidified their newfound status as Mommy and Daddy, adding another realm to their connection, one that neither had been prepared for, yet already couldn't imagine life without.

* * *

Cath 


	16. Recognition

**Author's Note:** Hey, all I'm so sorry I have taken so long. Life is just severely getting in the way. I just never want to force something, when it doesn't come out or I don't have time to do it properly. Anyway, I really hope you all enjoy this. There is ALOT of good stuff coming up for this story, BIG TIME BABY STUFF. 

A big thanks to Christina for being the fabulous Beta she is. hugs And this is dedicated to my love Jess for calming me down this last week when I needed it the most. Although, now I'm one chapter ahead of you. Haha.

**Chapter Sixteen **"**Recognition**"

_We are just shadows  
Crawling through this micro alley  
But I am hungry for your love  
And I am starving for a better time_

_But that's all we got here  
That's all we know  
That's all we've become  
Our recognition_

_And I don't know what to do  
About holding my head high  
I am struggling to breathe through all these  
In between times  
And I am wondering why_

_I am wondering why _

**_Susie Suh _**

Strolling through the doors of the youth center, Haley was in awe at how incredible it looked. All the architecture, furniture, and painting had been completed, including three massive wall murals by Peyton. One incorporating sports in shades of blue, green, and bronze, another music with shades of blue, purple, and silver and last was learning with vibrant shades of pink, green, and gold. She had such a gift.

Unfortunately all the painting and refinishing of counters was the reason a pregnant Haley hadn't been allowed to step foot inside for the last few weeks, thus her seeing everything with brand new eyes now.

"Hey Baby Mama," Nathan called down from the second floor railing above her.

Haley spun around, her white halter dress with green embroidery across the hem, that she'd bought months ago with Brooke and Peyton, spinning with her. Of course, this time the seven month pregnant belly filling it out was all too real. "It looks so amazing Nathan."

He smiled, but not at the compliment. She'd always been gorgeous, to the point when they used to share a bed he'd actually lose sleep over not being able to take his eyes off her, but a pregnant Haley was a whole other realm. It was as if she was born to carry children and take every man's breath away while doing it.

As he took in every inch of her body, he abruptly went into protective mode when he reached her feet. "Hales, why are you wearing those wedge things? You know they only add to your back pain."

Giggling, she sauntered over to the elevator and pressed the up button. "Nathan, I took a cab here, walked maybe a handful of yards into the building and now I'm taking the elevator upstairs. It's not like I'm about to walk a marathon." She chastised while the doors opened and she stepped in.

Nathan knew he was probably overreacting, but he'd always been that way with Haley, and it was clear he was going to be the same with their child. He knew he had to be getting on her last nerve, but to her credit, Haley had responded to every one of his worries with a soft laugh and understanding response.

Things had been going really well with them the last couple of months. Sure, every time things even hinted at something sexual or romantic between them, she abruptly changed the subject or suddenly had to be some where, but bonding over their son had made them incredibly close again. Every part of the pregnancy she shared with him and lately she was sharing other parts of her life as well.

She was beginning to trust him again, he could feel it and that gave him more than enough hope for their future.

Meeting her when the doors opened, he waited till she stepped out to let his hands immediately seek out her belly. "And how's my lil' baller doing today?" Nathan sweetly bent down and spoke to his son.

Haley rolled her eyes when her baby boy began to kick up a storm at the sound of his father's voice. "Why must you always rile him up? Now I have to pee again."

Nathan stood back up, but kept his hands firmly on her protruding belly, massaging it lightly "Don't worry son, secretly your Mommy loves it." He boasted, with a smirk to Haley, knowing he was right.

"Whatever." Haley scowled, though she could only hold it for a few seconds before cracking a smile. "Ok, I do love it, but I really have to pee now."

Chuckling as she dashed away, he didn't even hear his brother come up behind him.

"I never thought you ogling Haley could get even more disgusting, but watching you drool over her while she's carrying my nephew is a whole other level."

Nathan turned around. "It's fucking hot as hell, dude. There's just something about knowing your girl is carrying you baby, and it helps when your girl is Haley James."

Lucas couldn't stand it any longer. "She's not your girl." He reluctantly reminded him, his intention not to hurt his brother, but to keep him level headed.

"Thanks." Nathan bit out.

Sighing, Lucas walked over to the black iron railing and leaned back. "Look, I didn't mean that the way it sounded. All I'm saying, is I think that you're counting on this baby bringing you two back as a couple and that's not fair to you, Haley, or him. Sure, it's something that's bringing you and Haley together, but have you two even resolved one issue involving the past?"

Nathan's eyes found the floor, not wanting to admit his brother was right.

Lucas continued. "Until you two really get every single emotion out about what happened five years ago, you two can't truly be in a romantic relationship, not when there is an innocent child in the mix. In fact, I think you two should hash it all out, in general, no matter what it could do for you romantically. With your son on the way, neither of you need your demons coming out after he's born. Take my advice Nathan, it may be hard and it may get ugly, but for the sake of all three of you, I don't think you have any other choice."

Nathan knew his brother was right, yet that didn't make it any less terrifying. Things were going so well between him and Haley, but what kind of future could they really have with the past tainting every positive step they made?

"I feel so much better." Haley sighed happily, rubbing her belly as she came back into view.

Lucas laughed. "Woman, you should just move into the bathroom."

"Ha ha." Haley deadpanned as her cell began to ring. Taking it out of her purse, she grimaced when she noticed Brooke's name flashing. "Hello Brooke."

"Haley, it is four o'clock. We're going to be late for our manicures and if we're late to our manicures then we're late getting home to do our hair and make up and if we lose time there then there's no way we're going to shove you into your gown by the time the gala starts."

"Are you calling me fat?" Haley snapped, hormones getting the better of her.

Brooke blanched on the other end. "Oh sweetie, no, you're smoking, trust me. I was just teasing, I promise."

"Whatever." Haley slammed the phone closed and tossed it back into her purse. "So," She switched moods and smiled at the boys. "I was down at the hotel all day going over every single detail for the party. You two both need to be there at six thirty for the final walk through. Not a second later. Got it?" Her once calming smile took on a threatening look, as if to say that she would track them down and rip every single hair from their bodies if they messed anything up.

They couldn't blame that on hormones though, Haley had always been OCD when it came to preparing for anything. She was never one to just go with the flow, but it was part of her charm. You couldn't help but love her over analytic rambles when she was stressed and this gigantic fundraiser for their center at the Waldorf-Astoria was stressing her out to the max.

Over five hundred people were due at the event and thanks to Haley, they'd already gotten more press coverage than they could have dreamed of.

Lucas bent over and kissed her cheek, then smiled at her. "Breathe Hales, everything will be fine. Tonight's going to be a huge success."

"Really?" She looked to him, then Nathan.

"Really." They both simultaneity reassured her.

After giving them a few more instructions, she was gone, leaving both brothers staring after her.

"This is killing me Luke. I need her," Nathan whispered, his voice thick with emotion. Every time she walked away treating him as if he really was just a friend, it ripped his heard in two.

Lucas sighed, "Then do something about it. I know you're scared at upsetting the progress you and Hales have made, but being friends isn't what you two are meant to be. And whether she admits it or not, it's killing her too."

…

"Brooke, I can not wear that, as gorgeous as it is."

"Haley, it's Badgley Mishka. I worked my ass off and used about a million favors to snag this because it's so perfect." Brooke explained as she hung the satin sapphire gown on the door.

Haley had to admit, it was beautiful. The color was exquisite with the shine of the satin material. It was sleeveless, with a deep V-neckline, and a ruffled Empire waist enhanced by sequin-embellished tie back that fell into an elegant bow in the back.

"Brooke, my boobs and belly would be on display, even more than usual. That material and the cut won't hide anything."

Walking over to Haley, Brooke took her by the shoulders and turned her around to face the floor length mirror. "Haley, you are one the lucky ones. Your body embraces pregnancy. Men see you and want to run home and knock up their wives just in the hopes they look like you do. Trust me, if I was sure I'd look as good as you, I'd have Lucas going bare back every single time."

Turning around, Haley grimaced at the bare back comment first, then smiled and hugged Brooke tightly. "Thank you Brooke." She released her. "But I still don't think I can pull that off."

"Blah, blah, get your hot pregnant ass in the shower and I'll meet you back in here in an hour or so to help you get dressed."

Blowing Haley a kiss, Brooke practically skipped out of the room to get herself ready, leaving a still apprehensive Haley behind.

…

Making sure the coast was clear, Peyton snuck into Haley's room, smiling when she caught sight of Haley in a short cotton purple robe sitting aimlessly on her bed. Her wavy dark blonde locks were swept to the side in an old Hollywood glamour style and her make up was much more dramatic than usual with her smoky eyes and a hint of color on her lips. "You look beautiful James, but you'll look even better with clothes on."

Noticing Peyton for the first time, Haley let out a long whistle. "Look at you Sawyer." She was wearing a one shouldered canary yellow silk gown that elegantly flowed down her long body.

Peyton did a little twirl. "I am sorta digging this dress."

Haley giggled then stuck her feet straight out and wiggled her crimson painted toes. "Will you put my shoes on for me?"

Picking up the tiny silver scrappy stiletto heels, Peyton shook her head. "Seeing as I do practically every morning before we go into work, sure. Although, I don't know why you even ask anymore." She laughed as she fastened each heel to the designated foot.

"All right time for the dress." Peyton stood up straight and made a move to the gown.

Brooke blew into the room wearing a strapless skin tight violet gown with a flared mermaid hem. "Hands off Sawyer. We have to tape Haley's boobs first. And why are you in here anyway? I wanted Haley to be a surprise."

"Fine, I'll wait in the living room." Peyton stuck out her tongue at her bossy friend.

Once she left, Brooke took the gown off the door and faced Haley. "You ready?"

"As I'll ever be." She sighed, undoing her robe.

…

It was a little past nine and the party was in full swing. The place was packed with old money and new money, both of which, thanks to Haley sending them detailed business plans the week before, were throwing huge donations at the center.

"Where is Haley?" Nathan asked, as he surveyed the crowded room for the millionth time.

Lucas was about to give him a smart ass answer, when Brooke appeared before him, a champagne flute hand. "Broody, don't I look fabulous?"

Lucas clapped a few times and she ate it up before launching herself in his arms.

Nathan tried not to gag and settled for an eye roll. "Brooke where's Haley? Is she is here? Is she all right?"

Annoyed, Brooke tore her lips from Luke's. "She's fine, she's playing hostess."

…

"Excuse me, Miss James you have a phone call." A very tall man with blond hair and green eyes interrupted Haley's painfully boring conversation with a robust real estate mogul with an extremely bad piece that was didn't even match what little hair remained on his bald head.

"I'm sorry Mr. Canterbury; I have to take this, but again thank you so much for your generous donation." Haley smiled politely and took the outstretched arm of the tall blonde who was supposedly leading her away to the phone.

"Aren't the phones that way?" Haley pointed to the opposite side of the room.

Guiding her over to an empty table, the man pulled a chair out for her. "There's no phone call. I just thought I'd rescue you."

Sitting down, Haley motioned for him to join her. "Thanks, but who are you?"

After doing so, he stuck out his hand. "Patrick Kelly."

She shook it, "The football player?"

"No, but close." He corrected her with a charming smile.

Blushing, she played with sapphire and platinum bracelet Brooke had lent her. "Sorry, I'm not too good with sports stuff."

"Damn he was right." Patrick said out of nowhere, taking her by surprise.

"What?" Her nose crinkled in confusion.

"He told me you we're indescribable."

She tilted her head to the side. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"It's the best." He winked, taking in her beauty once more.

"May I ask who "he" is?"

"You could, but what would be the fun in that?"

Haley eyed him again, trying to remember where she knew him from, but nothing came. She was getting so forgetful with her pregnancy.

"Would you like to dance?"

She looked up and smiled shyly. "I know you're tall, but even at your height you can't miss the fact that I'm pregnant."

Pushing back his chair, he stood up and extended his hand. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but pregnant woman can still dance, can't they?"

She placed her hand in his. "I guess there's no harm."

After a few moments of gliding across the floor, she couldn't take it any longer. "Are you going to tell me how you know me now?"

"After the dance," He winked.

Once the song ended, they walked to the edge of the floor and he kissed her hand. "I can see why Nathan left our team."

Her eyes went wide. "You played with Nathan?"

"For five years…and you and basketball were all he ever talked about."

She stiffened a bit and cleared her throat, "How did you know what I looked like?"

He chucked. "Are you kidding me? Scott had every picture of you imaginable in his house, not to mention this book of articles about your work with Maverick. For awhile there I thought he was a stalker. Hell, I'd still think that if not for um…" He cast his eyes down toward her protruding stomach.

Her head was spinning; she didn't hear his last words. All that was on her mind was finding Nathan. "I have to go." She rushed out before rushing away.

She didn't look back and by luck she immediately spotted Nathan talking with a group a guys, she assumed were more basketball players given their height.

Walking straight up to him and ignoring everyone else, she grabbed his arm, gaining his attention.

His mouth went dry and all the blood in his brain shot down south as he finally got a look at her for the first time that night. "Jesus Ha.."

"Can we talk?" She interrupted.

She didn't even need to ask.

Silently, she led him past the dance floor and into a hallway away from all the people and noise. When they were younger and at a huge party, they'd barely last an hour before sneaking off to a quiet place where they'd do everything from talk to make love. It didn't even matter what they did, all that mattered was being alone.

Stopping, she turned to face him and then in the blink of an eye launched herself into his arms, hugging him around the waist as tightly as her stomach would allow.

"Whoa, what's this for?" He chuckled a bit while wrapping his arms tightly around, but when he felt her tears through his tuxedo shirt, he knew this was nothing light and if possible he held her even closer.

"Haley, what's wrong?" He softly asked, hoping she would open up to him.

She pulled back a little and locked eyes with him. "You broke my heart," she whispered back, the pain of being vulnerable with him evident in her words, breaking his own heart.

His hand came up to caress her cheek. "I know."

"But you never stopped loving me, did you?"

"Never."

More tears slid down her cheeks. She'd been holding so much in for so long, but she was finally starting to realize that you can only live in denial for so long. "I don't know what to do."

He answered her with a kiss. A searing, all consuming kiss, that set both their bodies ablaze and their tongues into action.

They moaned into each other's as their hands began exploring and their lower regions ached with anticipation.

Before she passed the point of no return, which was a hair away, her hands moved to grip his shoulders as she tore her lips away, trying to regain control. "I can't do this." She breathlessly choked out.

Pressing his throbbing member into her, he placed hot opened mouth kisses on her cheek, jaw, and finally her lips. "Yes you can." His husky voice encouraged before diving back in to capture her kiss swollen lips once more.

They sunk into another deep kiss, until neither could last another second without air.

Once she caught her breath, she let one more tear fall down her porcelain cheek. "No, I can't." She quietly declared, pushing away from him and running off before he could even begin to comprehend what had just happened.

Finally making it outside, Haley breathed in the warm air, hoping it would bring her clarity. She'd been fighting her need for Nathan for months, hell she'd been fighting it for five years, so why was this night different?

She knew why, it was Patrick. Nathan had told her he'd never stopped loving her, but she never let herself truly believe it. She thought he'd pushed her completely out of his heart for those five years, but he'd done just the opposite. He'd grieved for her, surrounded himself with memories of her and for a brief moment, she let that knowledge be enough to let her guard down—to run back in his arms.

And it had felt so good, but even if her heart was emerging from the depths of her denial, the scars of his betrayal were still ever present.

….

Getting out of the taxi she hailed minutes before, Haley had the oddest feeling someone was watching her, however, a quick scan of the street yielding no one, save a black Lexus she didn't recognize parked

"Great, I'm going crazy on top of everything." She quipped to herself, yet as the words left her mouth, a car door opened behind her and against every logically fiber in her body, she turned around.

"Hello Haley."

At the sound of his voice, her hands fell to her stomach, instinctively protecting her unborn son from the man that had always held nothing but contempt for her—his grandfather, Dan Scott.

* * *

Cath 


	17. The Beauty Of Gray

**Author's Note:** Hey guys, I got my new laptop finally and back to writing. Thank you so much for your reviews, I love every single one. This is a HUGE chapter and you'll see why. I really hope you enjoy this. I can't wait to hear what you all think. Hope you all had a great weekend.

Thanks to the amazing Christina as always and Emily for her seal of approval.

**"The Beauty Of Gray"**

_This is not a black and white world  
You can't afford to believe in your side _

This is not a black and white world  
To be alive  
I say the colors must swirl  
And I believe  
That maybe today  
We will all get to appreciate

The beauty of gray 

_**LIVE**_

Two of the longest minutes of her life had passed and from her almost father's in law's stance, it appeared her torture would not be ending any time soon.

"You look beautiful," Dan complimented and if Haley didn't know any better, she would have thought he was being genuine.

He made a move to step closer and she stumbled backwards, gripping the concrete railing of the stairs. Dan, in turn, took a step back seemingly not wanting to frighten her.

"What...what are you doing here?" She finally managed to croak out, her mind spinning.

Laughing somewhat gently, which again bewildered Haley, he took an envelope out of his pocket. "I wanted to give you this, for the baby." He held it out for her, an unreadable expression on his face.

"I don't want anything from you," She practically spit out, wanting to run away, but a pain shooting through her stomach, halted her. _'Oh shit'_. She fought to remain stoic.

He laughed again, her pain unnoticed. "I deserve that. Hell, I deserve a lot worse. There are some things you need to know, some things I'm not proud of…"

She held her hand up. "Spare me the speech Mr., Scott. You're charm and fake smiles never worked on me and never will."

He should have walked away, but he couldn't. "I had a heart attack."

It slipped out before he could stop it, but the shock on her face let him know he had obviously caught her attention. "About two months ago, the maid found me on my kitchen floor." He continued when it was clear she wasn't saying anything.

She gripped the railing harder. "Nathan and Lucas would have told me." The pain was getting worse, but she wouldn't let herself be vulnerable in front of him.

He put the envelope back in his pocket. "I didn't call them. I didn't want them there out of obligation and I'm not telling you this for sympathy."

"Good because you're not getting any." She firmly informed him to which he laughed again. _'Why was Dan Scott laughing so much?'_

"I respect you." Dan tossed back. "I always have, but my jealousy never let me appreciate that. You have a power over my sons I could never compete with and it took almost losing my life to see, I should never have even tried."

She sighed more from the pain subsiding than his comment. "Look I don't know what this is. Maybe you saw the white light and are trying to change, which I highly doubt or maybe this is all part of your evil plan, but I'm tired and if you're so interested in making a mends you should be talking to your sons not me."

"I've lost my sons, Haley, I've accepted that, but I want to do right but my grandson. I want to make sure he's taken care of and maybe with time even meet him."

"That will never…." Her stomach painfully contracted and she doubled over, only to collapse into the arms of Dan Scott, his athletic reflexes obviously holding steady.

"Is it the baby? When are you due? This is too soon, isn't it?"

She faced him with tears brimming in her eyes, "Please get me to a hospital…please."

Taking his cell out he found it was dead and threw it against lamp post in frustration, the shattering of the cell drowned out by Haley's sudden cries of pain.

He had to get her to a hospital now. "Come on, my car's right over there. Do you have your phone with you?"

She shook her head no and with her eyes closed, he lifted her in his arms and maneuvered her into his car, lying her down on the backseat.

Breaking every traffic law, he flew into the ambulance zone in front of the nearest hospital and he silently thanked whoever invented GPS for getting him there.

Opening the back door, he found her limp, her face buried in the upholstery. "Haley, we're here. I'm going to get someone, just breathe or whatever they tell you do."

Racing through the sliding doors, he grabbed an orderly. "There's a girl in my backseat and she's pregnant."

"Congratulations." The orderly snit, taking his arm back.

Dan got in his face. "Listen you little bastard, I have enough money and power to kill you right here in front of all these witnesses and get off. Don't…screw…with…me.."

A male nurse came up to them. "Sir, is there a problem?"

Dan threw his hands in air. "A problem? Damn straight. My pregnant daughter-in-law is in pain and no one around here seems to be doing their damn job! "

The nurse waved some additional staff to follow him and raced outside.

A minute later Haley emerged on a stretcher, lying on her side, trying to keep her breathing steady.

Dan watched helplessly from the sidelines as she was wheeled out of sight. _'What had he done?'_

….

Noticing Nathan sulking at a near by table, Lucas excused himself from Brooke's embrace with a gentle kiss, and made the trek across the room to his brother.

Nathan didn't look up from his untouched Scotch. "I'm fine." But that didn't deter Luke, who took a seat next to him.

"You know, you could be helping me kiss ass." Lucas suggested playfully, yet changed his tone when it was obvious his brother's mood wouldn't change anytime soon. "Fine, you're pissy, but I don't see why. Unfortunately, I caught you sight of you and Haley going at it, so I would think you'd be celebrating."

Picking up his glass, he swirled the amber liquid around before setting it back down. "Apparently, you didn't stick around long enough to see her bolt for the door."

Wanting to laugh because he himself had bolted at the sight of his best friend and brother going at it, Lucas bit his tongue. "Look Nate, you should still be happy. The fact she gave in at all means you guys are making progress. It's only natural Haley would freak out at first. I mean come on, its Haley. She obsesses over everything and she's pregnant, so multiply her OCD times a billion."

As Nathan let Lucas's words sink in, he didn't even hear Lucas take a call beside until his brother's frantic voice forced him out of his thoughts.

"Mom, slow down. What? Why did he call you? HE'S WITH HER?"

Slamming his phone shut, Lucas took a shaky breath and turned to his brother. "We have to go. Haley's in the hospital…_with Dan_."

…

"I'll fucking kill him. He's responsible, I know it." Nathan seethed as they all flew through the hospital doors.

Before Nathan could reach the desk, Lucas grabbed and held him back, letting the girls throw a slew of questions at the gray-haired receptionist trying her best to yawn and look unprofessional. It had been a long night.

"Nathan you have got to calm down. It doesn't look like he's in the waiting room, so hopefully he's gone. Besides, we need to make sure Haley's all right. After that, hell I'll help you bury his body, but Haley and your child come first."

Nathan heart seemed to stop cold, his face paled as his rage faded and reality sunk in. _'What if they lost their son?' What if he lost Haley?'_

Sensing Nathan's shift, Lucas put a supportive hand on his shoulder. "They're going be all right. Haley's strong and hundreds of babies are born early everyday and survive."

Staying silent, Nathan fought an onslaught of raw emotion. His life, his world, was in danger and nothing his brother or anyone could say would comfort him. Haley was the only one that held that power and ever would.

Cutting his eyes to a steadily approaching Peyton, he looked to her for answers. "What happened?"

"They won't tell me anything, but I managed to get her room number, its 306, third floor."

Nathan was gone before she could even finish her sentence.

Catching sight of Nathan bypassing the elevators and heading towards the stairs, Brooke stopped her demands more information and started to go after him only to have Lucas and Peyton block her.

"Let's give them some time Brooke." Lucas coaxed and for once that's all it took.

Brooke's anger towards Nathan had slowly faded over the last few months as she watched first hand, his devotion to Haley and their child. Plus, it didn't hurt that Haley was so incredibly happy. That beautiful outlook on the world, which she'd tucked away after her ill fated wedding, had returned.

There were still days she wished Haley would find someone that had never hurt her, but then she would question if any love story was ever perfect. All the great ones certainly had their share of drama. She used to think Nathan and Haley were one the greats, a story that would be passed down for generations, making everyone strive for that kind of love and now, even after five hateful years, she wasn't so sure she was wrong.

Taking Luke's hand, Brooke gave a sad smile to him and Peyton. "I think we should wait in the chapel." And with matching smiles, the two blondes agreed.

…

Mid giggle, Haley's attention was diverted to her hospital door as an obviously distraught Nathan flew through it.

"Nathan!" She beamed and an automatic smile spread across his face upon hearing her voice and watching her cradle her belly.

Not noticing the doctor in the room, he was at her side and kissing her lips a split second later.

"Baby, how are you? What happened?" He questioned, his lips a breath away from her, their eyes locked.

"We're fine." She promised, giving him a tender reassuring kiss before pushing him away and blushing. "But…um why don't I let Dr. Anderson explain it to you." She tilted her head towards the uncomfortable OBGYN.

True to form, Nathan smirked at having an audience.

Clearing his throat first, the doctor repeated what he'd explained to Haley earlier. "It appears Haley, here, suffered from some pretty sever Braxton-Hicks contractions. They are very normal, especially for first time mothers, but in your wife's case,' Neither Nathan or Haley made a move to correct him; "stress and slight dehydration triggered a severe round of contractions. Her blood pressure was pretty high, but since her arrival it's returned to normal."

Nathan breathed the biggest sigh of relief of his life.

"Still, I want her to take it easy until the birth and I'm going to go ahead and recommend she start her weekly doctor visits now verses waiting another month—to keep an eye on her blood pressure. Other than that I see no reason for you not to return to normal activities, albeit at a slower pace and with plenty of fluids." He winked.

"Thank you doctor." Haley gently smiled, her hand falling atop Nathan's on her belly that had unconsciously began to rub her belly.

Smiling back, he bid a quick goodbye, informing her, he wanted to keep her overnight for precautionary measures, and he'd check in on her in the morning before she left.

Once alone, Nathan pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. "Are you sure you're all right?"

Her eyes drifted down to their hands, an IV needle inserted in the back of hers. "They got me on their best juice, I'll be fine. I think I just over did getting ready for the gala."

As if a light switch had been turned on, Nathan's hand retracted from her stomach and he jumped back from her until he was standing a good three feet away. "Haley, don't blame it on the gala, don't lie to me." His jaw was set and Haley knew he'd found out about Dan.

"He didn't hurt me Nathan."

His mouth fell open in shock. "Are you kidding me? You're in the hospital Haley!" She flinched at his condescending tone.

Laying her head back, she closed her eyes. "I hate your father as much as the next person Nathan," her eyes opened back up and found his burning blues, "and it might have been a trick, but he was actually kind, but none of that matters. All that matters is he got me to the hospital. For all his faults, I'll always be grateful."

Nathan softened at her words. Haley always had the ability to calm him down, especially about his father. A few soothing words or even better a few soothing kisses and everything melted away but her. "I just don't trust him and I never will." Nathan vowed quietly as he made his way back over to her and intertwined their fingers. He would deal with his father later.

"I know and I'll never forgive him for hurting you and Lucas. Let's just concentrate on the good in our lives."

"Like this little guy?" Nathan beamed, caressing her large bump with his free hand, his son kicking like crazy, as if he knew they were speaking of him.

Haley giggled a sound that warmed Nathan's very soul every time he heard it. "Definitely this _active_ little guyyyyyyyy…."She exaggerated the last word, the baby kicking hard causing discomfort to echo on her face.

"Oh god, Hales. Are you ok? Baby, talk me" He cupped her cheeks, his worried eyes searching hers for any answer.

She sighed, a content sigh and gazed into his eyes. He loved her, loved their child and she couldn't hold her own emotions in a second longer. "I'm better than all right." He gave her a confused look and his worry returned when her eyes filled with tears.

'_Damn her hormones,'_ She silently cursed.

"Did I do something wrong, please Haley say something." He begged, at a loss for what was going through her head.

But in reality, she was fighting just as hard to understand herself. For so long, she had denied what her heart had been telling her, kept reminding herself that he'd hurt her in the worst way, that it was unforgivable, but nothing in life is ever that simple.

With love comes pain. Sometimes the pain can nearly kill you, but the love, the love can always save you.

She saw that now. The moment she fell on her concrete steps, all she wanted was Nathan. All her priorities became clear, her child, and his father. That's where her heart was, that's where it belonged.

The past stopped hindering her and in a way began to help her understand everything. If she was going to move forward with the good in her life, she had to accept the bad, accept that people are human and if after all she and Nathan had been through and her love for him was still this strong, well she was simply blessed.

Even with Dan tonight, she couldn't see only evil, as much as she wanted to. No one is ever pure evil and just as no one is ever perfect. To think otherwise would only lead to a lonely life.

Nathan's love for her outweighed any sorrow he'd caused her. Sure, she never expected they'd end up like this, but nevertheless here they were, and she almost appreciated him even more now.

Dreams change, take on new shapes, but it doesn't make them any less glorious than the dreams you held before, if not more.

This was their second chance to have it all and she knew if she didn't take it, she'd regret it for the rest of her life.

Tears fell down her cheeks. "I love you Nathan, god help me, and I never stopped." She broke down and leaned into his awaiting arms, crying into his chest. "I….I don't know how to do this."

Nathan ran his hands through her hair. "Baby, you don't know how bad I want to jump and down right now at what you just said, but please tell me you're not just having a mood swing."

Sniffling, she leaned back, tears still falling, but a bit more under control. "I love you Nathan, that's why I ran tonight, that's why I've been running ever since you came back." She couldn't help but smile at his face lightening up, but it quickly fell from her lips and she was crying even harder.

She loved him, God damn she loved him. He kept repeating that in his mind, praying this all wasn't a dream, but why was she crying? "This is a good thing, right?" He hedged, obviously nervous over her impending answer.

Wiping at her eyes, she nodded yes while gathering her words. "It's the best Nathan, but I'm still scared, so scared I'm going to wake up one day and you won't be there. I can't go trough that again, I won't survive….I won't." Her voice shook, but the sob didn't escape as he pulled her tighter in his arms.

"Hales, I'll never leave you, never. You're my entire world, you and now our son. I'll spend every second of every day proving that to you until you believe it yourself." He pulled back, so she could see the devotion written all over his face.

"Promise?" She sniffled again, knowing she looked a mess and yet feeling so incredibly loved and beautiful in the eyes of the man that had stolen her heart at sixteen and never let it go.

Blue met brown in a heated gaze that soon had them in an even more heated kiss. Minutes later, they parted ever so slightly, needing air, but not wanting to even be an inch apart.

"I promise." Nathan breathlessly declared, a grin following it that she knew had always only been reserved for her.

She wanted to lose herself in his lips again, yet she had to make sure he understood her fears. "I still need time getting all the way there though, Nathan. Trust is the hardest thing to build back."

A twinge of disappointment swept through him, but just as quickly, he pushed it away. "Whatever it takes, whatever it takes." He swore, kissing her again, needing her to feel just how much he needed her, wanted her, and loved her.

This was it; this is what he'd come back for, her love. Now he had it and his child growing inside her. He didn't deserve any of it, but he couldn't survive without either of them.

Five years without her had nearly killed him. The only thing that kept him going was the hope that one day they'd be together again and now that the day was here, there was not a single doubt in his mind that every night and every morning she'd be in his arms till the day he died.

They'd pledged always and forever after knowing each other for barely two months in high school and seven years later, they were pledging it again, only this time they didn't need to say the words because in their hearts the promise had always remained.

* * *

Cath


	18. A Certain Shade Of Green

**Author's Note:** Hey all, thank you so much for your reviews. I'm so glad you guys enjoyed the last chapter. I really hope you enjoy this too. You guys are the best reviewers in the world and keep my going.

A big thanks to Hana for being an amazing beta. hugs

**Chapter Eighteen "A Certain Shade Of Green"**

_A certain shade of green,  
tell me, is that what you need?  
All signs around say move ahead.  
Could someone please explain to me  
your ever present lack of speed?  
_

_Are your muscles bound by ropes?  
Or do grudges cloud your day?  
My sources say the road is clear,  
and street signs point the way. _

Are you gonna stand around 'till 2012 A.D.?  
What are you waiting for,  
A certain shade of green?

_**Incubus**_

"Please tell me my shoes match," Haley huffed out as she all but waddled into her living room coming face to face with a smirking daddy to be.

Not waiting for an answer, she turned to a large iron mirror to once again critique her outfit. She'd selected a thin aqua tank that snuggly stretched across her belly to end on the curves of her hips and paired it with cropped black leggings, and what she hoped were matching black ballet flats.

Her hair was pulled up in a soft ponytail, her new bangs prominently displayed and she was once again debating if she should have ever cut them. Her hair had gone crazy since her pregnancy and she was hoping a change would satisfy her, and, on most days, it did.

"Hales, your shoes match and you look gorgeous," Nathan soothed coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her large and unbelievably sexy belly.

Relaxing in his arms, she studied their reflection, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth at the sight. It was a dream come true, even if it was a slightly altered version of the one she'd had at seventeen.

"I just want to look perfect, but not like I'm trying to hard, you know?" She tilted her head back to look up at him.

He bent down and brushed his nose against hers. "Again, you look gorgeous and like you can't wait to have this baby. You're going to fit in just fine."

They shared a tender kiss.

"Thank you," she whispered, her mind easing with his words and his touch. Opening her heart to him again had truly felt like coming home. She'd never been more at peace than when she was with him.

She'd stayed on bed rest for two weeks after the night of the party and he'd stayed by her side almost every second. Watching horror marathons, sappy chick flicks, and binging on anything and everything unhealthy she craved. He'd even kept his mouth shut when Brooke and Peyton stationed themselves on either side of her for most of the daytime hours.

At night was their time, though. They'd been cautioned to avoid sex or any strenuous activity for at least another week and it was killing them both.

Still, it was magical being together again, sleeping tangled in each other's arms. The long make out sessions made them feel like they were in high school again and, best of all, they got to share every move their child made together.

Now that she was off bed rest, however, she wondered what would change. There wasn't an excuse for him to spend his nights with her anymore, besides the obvious. Plus, they never did have much privacy with Brooke and Peyton. They'd briefly discussed her spending some nights at his place, but nothing permanent had been set up. And honestly, she didn't know what she was ready for anyway.

All she knew was that at the end of this week when the doctor gave her his seal of approval, Nathan better be available to her twenty fours hours a day for at least a week straight. It had been way too long and she'd been way too horny this entire pregnancy not to get some much needed relief before her baby boy made his debut.

The clock on the mantel caught her attention and she frantically escaped Nathan's grasp and grabbed her purse, throwing her cell phone into it. "We're going to be late."

Nathan checked his watch, "we have plenty of time." But Haley's glare told him he'd better just shut up and drive. If she wasn't settled and comfortable at least ten minutes before their first Lamaze class started she'd spend the whole time obsessing about the other mothers not thinking she cared enough to even learn how to breathe as she had ranted to him the night before.

…

"All right mommies and daddies, I see we have some new faces," the over the top bubbly RN proclaimed, clapping her hands together, focusing her blinding smile on Nathan and Haley. "Stand up and tell us about yourselves."

Gradually, Haley did, reaching out to twine her fingers with Nathan's who remained seated next to her. "I'm Haley and this is my…" she paused not finding an appropriate word, "my Nathan," she blushed, feeling horribly embarrassed by her answer.

He squeezed her hand for support, tugging her to sit back down, and then pecked her crimson cheek.

"Aren't you two lovely," the nurse beamed, holding her hands in front of her. "Do you know what you're having?"

"A boy," Nathan proudly answered before Haley ever got the chance, the nurse squealing in excitement and informing the pair of the other couples expecting boys in the room—there were three.

"Well, my name is Lucy Cartwright. I've been an RN for over twenty years and have taught this class for almost as long."

Haley smiled back at her, still a bit uneasy with this whole class. Everyone around her wore wedding rings and had already formed bonds as a group and she hated being the new girl.

"Hello big bellied mommas!" Brooke Davis greeted, sauntering into the class, a humiliated Lucas trailing behind.

Nathan groaned and Haley tried not to laugh. Brooke had told her she'd feel her presence and boy was she right. Brooke Davis had fastened her fake belly underneath a ridiculous tight dress and crashed her class.

"Well, the more the merrier," Lucy enthused, before instructing all the mommies to pick a mat and the daddies to settle in behind, so that they could support their partner physically as well as emotionally. She had sing songed the last part.

"I can't believe you are here," Haley whispered as Brooke settled in beside her, a mischievous glint in the brunette's eyes.

Snapping her fingers to get Luke's attention and ass in gear, she winked at Haley. "You don't tell them I'm not pregnant and I won't tell them you got knocked up in a seedy motel," she bargained followed by a giggle, the look of horror flashing across her friend's face, amusing her greatly.

Nathan glared at Brooke, "I could have handled this."

She barely spared him a glance, "Oh relax, the back up coach needs to prepared too and since I graciously let you be first string, you can give me this." Her matter of fact tone clipped out.

"And Broody," she grabbed Lucas's hands and forced them around her belly, "you could try and look the part, jeez. I knew I should have hired an actor."

_An hour later…_

"Haley come on," Nathan coaxed, "You can't just quit."

Haley stood firm. "I can, and I will. You only want to go back because you're the star pupil," she knowingly said, in mocking tone.

Smirking, he kept his eyes on the road, "Not my fault you didn't read the books."

"Those books are filled with terrifying images that I don't need in my head. And I don't think I will ever get over you knowing what colostrum is and announcing to the whole class that I started leaking it last week. That was lovely, Nathan, really."

He couldn't hold in his laughter. "Baby, I'm sorry. They asked, I answered."

"Well, they're my boobs and if I want to talk about them I will." Haley huffed, staring out the passenger window.

His smirk returning, Nathan took her by surprise, reaching over and running the back of his hand over her erect nipple—they were always on alert with her pregnancy.

Biting back a moan, Haley squirmed in her seat. "Ugh, why did you get me started?"

Giving her a small pinch first, he moved his hand back to the wheel. "Just wanted to remind you that those babies are as much yours as they are mine."

Her jaw dropped, but she quickly recovered. "So I guess that means your penis is mine too."

"You better believe it."

She blushed and admitted defeat. She'd walked right into that one. "Fine, but I'm still not going back. Did you see that video? Just knock me out and wake me up when he's born. I refuse to go through that naturally."

Seizing one of her flailing hands, he brought it to his lips, placing a sweet kiss on her palm. "You can have all the drugs you want, but I still think this class will be good for us."

Letting out a resigned breath, she allowed her head fall back against the seat and shot him a smile "You're going to be an amazing father, you know that?"

"No…but hearing it from you helps."

Her smile broadened. "So, where are we off to now?"

"It's a surprise," was all he offered.

…

"Wow big surprise." She rolled her eyes in slight irritation. "I have been to your place before Nathan."

Unlocking the door, he opened for her. "When did I become the nice one?"

"I'm nice!" She smacked his arm and he gave her a pointed look.

"Ok, well maybe I'm a bit more sarcastic and on edge, but I'm in the process of growing a human being inside of me. What have you been doing the last eight months?"

Nathan placed a hand on her back and guided her up the stairs. "Winning back your heart."

She stopped cold at the top of the stairs and turned back to him, tears shining in her eyes. "Damn you. Now I'm crying."

He laughed, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "C'mere."

Leading her down a hallway, at the end of which was the master bedroom, he stopped at a large room to the left, a room that used to contain all his memorabilia.

He met her curious eyes apprehensively. "Open it."

Turning the brass knob, Haley gradually opened the door, a gasp escaping her lips when she stepped inside.

Taking everything in, with a slow twirl, she couldn't believe it was actually the Rivercourt surrounding her with a soft blue sky, complete with the backdrop of the river taking up an entire wall, and two worn down hoops painted on opposite sides as if Haley herself was standing in the middle of the court.

Closing her eyes, snap shots flooded her mind; lying on the court with Lucas, sharing their dreams, watching Nathan and Lucas play countless games, Nathan attempting to improve her own game, which always ended up turned into a groping session, something Lucas more than once caught sight of and claimed hysterical blindness.

So many memories and in her mind she could already envision Nathan and Lucas chasing her son around the court, a ball clasped in his tiny hands.

This was home, this was a piece of their childhood in the middle of New York City, and she couldn't even begin to fathom a more perfect nursery for their child.

Facing the beautiful sleigh crib with a warm cinnamon finish, which had a matching changing table under one goal and a dresser under the other, Haley gingerly ran her hands across the soft powder blue and white bedding. God willing, in a few weeks, she'd be watching her child sleep within it.

Nathan let a smile spread across as he watched her tour the room, absorbing everything. He'd been scared of springing this on her because while they'd discussed the theme, Haley had been hesitant on starting it until she felt the baby was safe. Her first experience clearly still haunted her and at times, he knew she was fighting the fear.

That was the real reason she had avoided the books, she couldn't handle reading all the things that could possibly go wrong.

From the crib, she went to the dresser, where various photos sat; one of her and Lucas at the age of ten, her Brooke and Peyton in their cheerleading uniforms, her on top of his shoulders dunking a shot in at the RC and his favorite in the center of them all was an eight by twelve profile of her taken a couple weeks back staring down at him, on his knees holding her stomach gazing at it in wonder, as she cupped his cheek with one hand and supported her back with the other.

It had been an intimate moment between the two; their son had started kicking up a storm, and Nathan had instantly dropped to his knees to talk to his boy and feel his movements.

Neither knew or even noticed Peyton had seen the moment let alone captured it on film. Over the years, Peyton had expanded her artistic talents to include photography and this picture highlighted her talent in the most precious way.

"I hadn't seen it yet," Haley softly remarked, her eyes welling with tears at the sight.

"Yeah, it's amazing," he added coming up behind to hold onto her belly once more.

"A little help here?" Lucas's strained voice called out as he fought with something down the hall way.

Nathan rolled his eyes. Lucas always killed the mood.

Leaving Haley, Nathan went to help and an argument quickly ensued.

"Don't kill each other," Haley warned, coming closer.

"Stay there!" Lucas yelled back, followed by a few choice curse words at trying to maneuver the object.

"Quit being a little bitch. It's not heavy," Nathan twisted it another direction allowing it to easily pass through the hallway.

Lucas's mouth dropped open. "I'm the one who lugged this thing from the curb. Do you know how hard it was getting it up your damn stairs?"

"God, would you two quit arg…oh my god." All hope of going five seconds without bursting into tears was lost when she caught a glimpse of what they were bringing in.

Running to Lucas, she nearly knocked him down, forgetting her stomach was always one step ahead of her. "Oh Luke, are you sure. Is she sure? I can't accept this," she rushed out, her arms tightly around his neck.

Laughing, he pushed her back just a bit, placing his hands on her shoulders. "It was her idea Hales. You're her daughter in every way that counts."

Squealing, Haley whipped around to face the antique rocking chair that had originally been Karen's mother. Karen and Lucas had both been rocked to sleep with its soothing rhythms and Haley couldn't believe Karen wanted her own child to follow in their footsteps. That woman truly was another mother to her. There was no doubt this little boy would look to her as a grandmother.

"When did you guys find time for all this?" Haley finally mumbled out, her tears drying up.

Lucas took his cue. "Mostly when Peyton and Brooke had you hijacked during the day and you were sleeping. Peyton snuck over to guide us with the painting and to do all the details. That crib was a bitch though; Nathan and I came to blows a time, or two putting it together."

Haley placed her hands on her hips and shook her head ruefully. "Why am I not surprised?"

As the boys moved the rocker chair in its place against the river, Haley's mind began to clear and reality sunk in.

It broke her heart.

Sometimes in life, you get so caught up in how you want things to be you forget or ignore the steps you have to take to get there. It would be so easy to gloss over the pain Nathan had caused her, to just live the life she knew they were meant to live all along, but if they did that the cracks would eventually reveal themselves and it wouldn't be just be the two of them affected anymore.

It's a sobering day when you realize that there are no quick fixes in life, no matter how badly we want something or how much love is involved.

"This is so beautiful guys, I can't thank you enough, but this is all at your place Nathan."

Lucas's stomach dropped. He'd tried to broach the possible complications of not setting this up this at Haley's or at least asking her permission, but the excitement on his brother's face never allowed him to get the words out.

"Um, I'll see you guys later."

Neither Haley or Nathan acknowledged his exit, their eyes locked; his begging her not to say what he knew she was going to, and hers telling him she had no choice.

"Did you expect us to live together right away?" The question came out more rhetorical than she meant it.

"Actually, yeah I did. I love you, you love me, and we're having a baby."

She broke eye contact, not being able to bear the hurt in his eyes a second longer. "It's not that simple Nathan."

"Why not Haley? Why can't it be that simple? God, I know I hurt you," He threw his hands up, "and I know it will take time to trust me completely, but damn it why do we have to waste anymore time not being a family?"

She walked up to him and placed a hand unconsciously over his heart. "We are a family Nathan, I just need time. We have some stuff to work through. Can't you understand that?"

He backed away from her. "No, I don't. You won't even let me explain to you why I left."

Last week, he'd cautiously approached the subject and she'd quickly shut him up with the ultimate distraction—her lips on his.

"I can't handle that yet." She took a few steps back herself.

"Are you kidding me, Haley? You say you need time, fine, you say we need to work on trust, fine, but we can't do that without talking about the past."

He was right she knew that. She'd been giving herself the same mental speech not a minute before, but going back to that awful day, the day her entire world shattered, wasn't something she was prepared to do, at least not today.

Going to the door, she managed a small smile, a smile that never reached her eyes and only stung him. "I'm sorry. We'll talk later, I promise."

Then she was gone, leaving Nathan standing alone in his son's nursery wondering for the first time, if she'd ever truly be able to forgive him and if she'd ever allow him to love and protect her the way she always used to believe he would.

Reaching into his pocket, he took out the small sapphire blue velvet box, opening it to reveal the diamond ring that sparkled within.

'_Who was he to think he could have it all.'_

…

Curled up on her side, Haley stared blankly out the window, so intently she never noticed Brooke enter.

"Ugh, Peyton spends way too much flying to see that Jake guy and ignores her mail fetching duties." Brooke whined, stopping short when she didn't see Nathan. "Where's Tutordaddy?" Brooke inquired, placing a large pile of Haley's mail on her vanity.

Haley didn't move, "Probably the NBA."

Brooke flinched. "Ouch, that was a bit harsh."

That got Haley's attention and she maneuvered herself to sit up. "Are you kidding me? You live to bash Nathan, why are you taking his side? I'm the one that's supposed to have the mood swings."

Brooke shrugged, opening a drawer and pulling out a comfy pair of cute boxers. "Because I love you, but that was a low blow. I'm the bitch around here, so please quit moving in on my territory." She winked, slinking off her jeans and pulling the boxers on, that naturally matched the tank she had already been wearing.

"Yes, Brooke you can wear those." Haley sarcastically quipped, pulling the covers back beside her, knowing Brooke wanted in.

Taking the invitation, of course, Brooke hopped in and went straight for Haley's belly. "Hello, Babycakes, it's your Auntie Brooke."

"Brooke, please don't wake him," Haley groaned, "If you get him started he'll never stop."

"Pfft, whatever. Don't listen to your cranky Mommy. When you're with me Babycakes, you'll get to stay up as late as you want, eat all the candy in the world, and drive your Uncle Luke crazy with me. Won't that be fun?" She rubbed Haley's belly some more.

"I'm not cranky and if you get him hopped on sugar you better be watching him."

Sitting up against the headboard with Haley, Brooke turned to her friend. "Lucas told me what happened, or at least what he thought was going to happen. Was it bad?"

Brooke's conversation ADD was nothing new, but the switch didn't allow Haley time to prepare herself for the image of Nathan's fallen face. "I've never seen him that hurt."

Automatically Brooke's hand found Haley's and clasped it tightly. "I don't want you to leave Haley, but if you're holding back because you don't want things to change…well I hate to break it to you, but they already have." Brooke's eyes fell to Haley's stomach.

"It's not that." Haley sighed, "I mean, I don't want to leave; you and Peyton have been everything to me for five years."

"Right back at you," Brooke's emotion-filled voice attempted to throw back lightly.

Haley squeezed her hand, "A part of me, the biggest part, knows Nathan loves me and that he'd never hurt me if he could help it, but then there's that tiny remaining part that reminds myself that I believed that in high school too and look what happened."

"As much as I hated him Haley, I don't believe he left you for selfish reasons. Was he a complete idiot? Yes. But do I think he left you because he didn't love you? Not for a second. You guys have to talk about it and you need to do it before this baby comes."

"I'm scared knowing it could ruin everything," Haley confessed, sliding down in the bed, Brooke following suit.

"Yes, but at the same time burying it could ruin everything. So you gotta tackle that giant elephant. Oh how cute would that elephant be if it looked like that one from the Seuss books?"

Randomness again.

Haley crinkled her nose, "That was oddly weird and insightful at the same time."

Brooke gave her a cheeky grin, "I do what I can."

A silent moment passed.

"Brooke?"

"Yes, my love?"

Her spare hand went to her son, "Do you think Nathan and I can make it?"

"No," Brooke swiftly replied, holding back a smile, "I don't think you can, I know you can. You wanna know why?"

"Why?" Haley smiled, knowing Brooke would have told her even if she didn't.

"Because despite my contempt for him most days, I see the way he looks at you and vice versa. You guys make me believe in true love."

"Us?" Haley's eyes widened. "He left me at the altar Brooke."

Brooke smacked Haley playfully on the forehead. "Duh, and do you think any true love story ever was perfect? Cinderella had bitchy step sisters, Sleeping Beauty was cursed at birth, Snow White had to run away and hide with dwarfs, but at least it was to a diamond mine…"

"Brooke those are cartoons."

"Fine: Noah went to war and Allie was engaged to someone else. You cannot dismiss _The Notebook_"

Haley just giggled and Brooke continued, "The point is that all great love stories had obstacles and that's what made them so great. Where other couples failed, they triumphed. That's true love and that's why I know you and Nathan will live a blissfully—make me nauseous half the time—life."

"I love you, Tigger, you know that?"

"Who wouldn't?" Brooke grinned before smacking a kiss on Haley's cheek. "Now let's get some sleep. Tomorrow you can deal with Nathan, but now Babycakes needs you to get some much needed rest.

And minutes later, the two best friends allowed sleep to take over them, neither realizing the importance of what lay on Haley's vanity.

Dan Scott had indeed left town, but his words were still waiting to be heard.

**

* * *

**

Cath


	19. Life Is Beautiful

**Author's Note:** Ok, I know this will confuse alot of you at first, but please read it ALL THE WAY. It's not what you think.

Anyway, this chapter is important to me because at 24 my Uncle died in front of not only my entire family, but his 8 month pregnant wife. It was also mother's day. He died after saving my mother's cousin from drowning. But it was so hard getting to her that he swallowed too much water and sand(from being knocked to ocean floor) and died on the beach twenty minutes after carrying her to safety. His wife gave birth alone and her grief was unimaginable. It took her 30 years to remarry and she never dated till her current husband. She said my uncle gave her enough love in their 4 years together to last her a lifetime.

So in short, she gave me this idea because the loss she went through, giving birth and raising a child in her grief astounds me.

Ok, enough sadness. This has a good ending, I promise. This story isn't over either, there will be more. You guys are the best!!

I huge thanks to Becca for beta-ing and giving me her seal of approval. Love ya girl!!

**Chapter Nineteen "Life Is Beautiful"**

_You can't breathe until you choke  
You gotta laugh when you're the joke  
There's nothing like a funeral to make you feel alive_

_Just open your eyes  
Just open your eyes  
And see that life is beautiful.  
Will you swear on your life,  
That no one will cry at my funeral?_

_I know some things that you don't  
I've done things that you won't  
There's nothing like a trail of blood  
to find your way back home_

**_SIXX am_**

"He made you the executor of his estate upon his death, and basically all the money, holdings, you name it is left to you and it's up to you with how you want to distribute it, if you choose to do so. Although, he states at least two million must be set up in a trust for your son." Lucas affirmed a tad puzzled, his brow still furrowed reading over the fine print; in shock, his father could actually do something this kind. There had to be a catch, but for the life of him, he couldn't find one.

"I just don't understand," Haley blew out as she rubbed her swollen baby that was fairly exposed by the tiny white tank top she was wearing. Hardly anything fit around her stomach anymore, at least anything she wanted to wear in this dreadful New York summer.

Lucas sat down beside her, laying the papers in front of him. "Eight million total. I guess being shady worked in Dan's favor."

"I don't want it, Luke." God, she'd give anything not to have woken up to pee at 2 am and found that envelope on her dresser. As soon as she'd read it she'd called Lucas and he had rushed over, only after carrying a still comatose Brooke to her own bed. That girl could sleep through a hurricane.

He placed a hand on top of hers, feeling his nephew's movement, and smiling. "It's yours whether you want it or not and it will set this little guy up for life," He eyed her belly.

"What about your children, Luke?"

He shrugged, "To tell you the truth, I don't want it either."

Her head fell back against her pillows, "Ugh, maybe this is why he gave it to me, just to cause me undue stress."

Chuckling, he took out the note that had come with the documents, "According to this he has a lot to make up for, and maybe that's why."

Haley gazed at the note, but didn't dare read it again. In it had been Dan's confession to the reason Nathan walked out on her all those years ago. He begged for her forgiveness and hoped that her grace would allow her to tell his grandson how much his grandfather loved him.

In truth, she wasn't angry with Dan. She'd dealt with his actions for most of her life. In one form or the other, he was always hurting someone she loved. Nothing cruel he did ever shocked her anymore.

"Have you told Nathan?"

She shook her head no, "I can't see him right now."

"Why? Now you know Nathan didn't want to leave you."

"Lucas, the whole time Nathan, and I were together we promised each other Dan could never come between us. Still that's not even the point. I could have dealt with him getting scared; having his doubts, but this is too hard."

Lucas placed his hand back atop hers, squeezing gently, and waited for her to continue.

And with a shaky breath, she did. "He didn't trust me, Luke, he didn't trust in us."

"Haley, you know I love you, but I think you're looking at this the wrong way. Sure, it was stupid, but Nathan was eighteen and terrified of you ever being hurt, he's still terrified. Maybe he makes mistakes, but from what I can tell they're always made out of this fierce need he has to protect you."

She turned away, not wanting to look him in the eye, "How do you know?"

He smiled, "Because I feel that same need."

Facing him again, her eyes were glistening, "I love you…you know that? You're such a part of my family Luke, and you always have been."

Leaning over he kissed her forehead, "Right back at ya, Bunny."

She let out a short laugh at her porn nickname, but a breath later, the tone went serious again, "I still don't know what to think about Nathan."

"You're scared Haley."

"Terrified." She confirmed.

Standing up, he cleared the papers off her bed and turned her lamp off. "Everything's going all right, I promise. Now get some sleep and I'll take you to breakfast tomorrow."

She slid down in her bed and turned on her right side, the glow of the moon allowing her to still focus on her best friend, "Mmm, can I get pancakes smeared in peanut butter?"

The last thing she heard was his laughter as she drifted off to sleep.

….

Putting her diamond studs in, she turned from side to side to make sure her hair was to her satisfaction. She'd pulled it up in a cute clip, knowing the heat would kill her if she didn't.

Feeling her son kick, she grabbed the sink. "Whoa, boy, settle down. Uncle Luke's about to feed you."

Doing a quick, albeit careful twirl in her white linen spaghetti strap sundress, she approved of her appearance and headed into the living room.

She spotted a disheveled Luke, in nothing but jeans staring blankly out a window, and frowned. "Wow, don't dress up for me or anything."

Lucas whirled around, worry screaming off him. "Hales? Are you ok?"

"Uh, yeah, why?"

He took two quick strides and pulled her into his arms.

Now she was worried, "Lucas, what's wrong? Aren't we going to breakfast?"

He released her just enough to make eye contact, "Haley, that was two weeks ago."

Backing away from him, her heart begged her not to remember, but as she surveyed the living room of Karen and not her own, she couldn't hold back her reality.

"No, no, no." Her head kept shaking as she continued to back away from Lucas.

He was at her side in a flash, catching her by the shoulders as she stared at herself in the mirror. Her white dress was now black and the grief in her sunken eyes, hit her with such an enormous force, she collapsed into Lucas's arms.

Brooke ran to them holding onto Haley from behind, "Haley we're here, ok?"

Gripping Lucas's shirt, Haley's eyes begged for him to tell her it wasn't true and when he couldn't, she turned to Brooke. "Brooke, wake me up, you have to wake me up."

Tears poured automatically from Brooke's eyes, "I'm so sorry sweetie."

Jerking away from them, Haley raced to the door, the two of right behind her.

"Haley, stop." Lucas begged, clutching her shoulders, forcing her to look at him. "Stay close to me, ok?"

"No, I have to see him now. He's not gone Lucas."

Lucas looked at Brooke, but she held no answers.

…

A silent car ride later, she and Lucas arrived at the cemetery and though she fought them, the painful flashes of the last few days slowly began to reveal themselves once again.

His funeral was ten days ago and every day she and Lucas took this same ride. She couldn't let go, she wouldn't.

Lucas hadn't even turned off the engine and she was out of the car walking towards the devastatingly fresh grave.

Carefully, she lowered herself on her knees, cradling her stomach with one hand and reaching out to finger the purples flowers she'd placed atop him the day before.

"I can't do this without you," her broken voice finally said, but no words would come again for she couldn't hold back the sobs any longer and within seconds, they shattered through the silence of the dead with an anguish they knew all to well.

Lucas felt his own tears, but didn't make a move to wipe them away. His pain wasn't just at the loss of his brother, but of the broken family, he left behind. Haley would forever live in a world of regret and Nathan's son would be raised in a world without him.

Nothing Lucas could ever say would ease Haley's guilt. She didn't force Nathan to take a obvious sleep deprived two am walk and she didn't force him to be a hero and interrupt a mugging, but in her mind by denying her heart and letting her pride rule her emotions she would always be to blame.

What he wouldn't give to take that guilt away…

Only when she felt the sudden wetness between her legs did she acknowledge the pain rippling through her abdomen and the foreign pressure preparing her body for the birth of her child…his son.

She battled against the pain, her mental and now physical anguish blurring in her tears.

He was suppose to be with her, holding her hand, kissing her softly and whispering over and over it would all be okay. It wasn't fair; none of this was fair, especially for their child.

Without hesitation, he'd loved their son from the start, talking endlessly of the life they would have and the things they would do together. His words echoed in her head with piercing clarity and her soul shattered knowing that not only would Nathan miss it all, but so would their sweet little boy; a little boy who would be born expecting to hear his father's voice just as he had for so many months, but it would never come.

He would have so much love with her, Lucas, Karen, Brooke, Peyton, and many others, but that voice, that comfort that only Nathan had provided would always be missing from his life.

She hadn't even laid eyes on her son and already her heart broke for the loss he would soon feel.

Lucas was beside her now and she realized he knew what was happening. Wordlessly she took his hand and he helped her rise. Turning to face him, she saw his own unimaginable agony and then heard him utter softly to his brother that he'd take care of his family.

It was a promise she knew he'd keep.

…

"Push, Haley…come on." The doctor urged from his perch, waiting to receive.

"I can't…" She cried; sweat trickling from her forehead, never ending tears pouring down her cheeks.

Exhaustion was swallowing her whole.

Lucas dabbed her forehead with a cloth and squeezed her hand, "Yes you can Haley. You hear me?"

She didn't…all she wanted to hear was Nathan.

The doctor caught Lucas's gaze and gave him a nod, "Ok, let's take a quick break, but then I need you back full force Haley."

Again, she said nothing.

"Hales, please look at me," She finally did, her eyes pleading for him to take away her suffering…all of it. "You remember our state championship?" She tried to turn away from him, but he took her chin and forced her attention back to him. "Listen to me, at the very end, when we were down by two, do you know what Nathan said to me?"

Shaking her head no, she gave him faith that this was the right move.

"He looked at me and he told me we had to do this, we had to win this, not for ourselves, but for you. _You_ brought us together Haley, _you_ gave me my brother," He gasped when a sudden sob caught in his throat, swallowing it back he finished, he had to, "and in that moment we had to work together like never before to prove that because of _you_ we could do anything."

"I'm not strong enough." She choked out.

He pushed her damp out of her face, "You were strong enough to make all three of us a family, Hales, I know you're strong enough to add a fourth."

The doctor sat back down, "All right, Haley, give me a big push."

Lucas pressed his forehead to hers, their tears mingling, and then she pushed and pushed again until…

"And it's a boy!" The doctor proclaimed, as a newborn's cries filled the air around them all.

Haley let out a sob of grief, exhaustion, and love as her and Nathan's child was placed on her stomach. His little arms and legs flaring with freedom.

"He's beautiful, Hales." Lucas whispered in awe.

"He is…oh my god he is." Haley emotionally declared, leaning down to kiss her crying son and like magic or more likely nature, his crying ceased at his mother's touch.

Interrupting, the nurse touched Lucas's shoulder, "Would you like to cut the cord?"

Pausing, Lucas turned to Haley unsure.

"Nathan would want that Luke." She assured him, watching a smile of pride grace his features before turning to gaze at her miracle again, lightly running her fingers across his full cheeks.

A few minutes later, her son was cleaned up and placed back in her arms and for the first time he opened his eyes clearly and stared up at hers. Taking hold of one of his tiny hands, she truly smiled for the first time in what seemed like a lifetime already. "He has Nathan's eyes, Luke."

She knew newborn's eyes usually always changed, but she also knew in her heart, his wouldn't. Everyday she would see Nathan in him and everyday she'd tell him how much his father loved him…every single day.

"Welcome to the world, James Lucas Scott," She quietly proclaimed down at him, echoing the name Nathan had chosen for him when they were only seventeen and he was merely a vision of their future.

_One year later…_

Digging in her garden, in Tree Hill, Haley turned around at her son's giggles. "What are you doing, Jimmy Jam?"

His answer was a gurgle as he latched his mouth onto a tiny basketball and she smiled, a sad smile hoping her son didn't catch on.

Of all the toys he had, he clung to that one—a gift from his father.

She never returned to New York and neither had Lucas. She bought a house next to Karen and Brooke and Peyton had taken down Nathan's nursery and helped her recreate it in her new place, every detail was the same, including that toy basketball Jamie never let out of his sight.

She desperately missed Brooke and Peyton, but she couldn't leave the memories of this town, the town she'd fallen in love in and where Nathan's body still laid.

There were still no words for how much she ached for him.

Hearing Jamie suddenly start clapping wildly, she knew Luke had arrived and she rolled her eyes playfully as he swooped, "J. Luke" up, as he called him, and started carrying air in the air imitating an airplane.

Grateful didn't even begin to describe how she felt having Lucas by her side. At first, she'd fought him moving home with her, didn't want him feeling obligated and then she had even grown somewhat resentful of him too. It should be Nathan sharing all Jamie's firsts with her and then Karen told her something she'd never forget.

That Lucas being apart of her and Jamie's lives wasn't out of obligation or even a desire to take Nathan's place. It was simply his honor. His honor to love and cherish something his brother did so much. To be able to do the things Nathan couldn't was a gift to his brother and to himself and most importantly, it was a means to feel his brother's spirit alive in Jamie.

"HALEY!" Lucas shouted, scaring her until she turned around and was subsequently, rendered speechless.

Her son was walking.

Joyously, she ran to him, clapping wildly as he had moments before. "Oh my big boy! Look at you!"

"Ma..ma!" Ever the mimicker, he clapped with her, throwing himself off balance and sending himself backwards with a plop, his diaper softening the landing.

Laughing, Haley swept him into her arms and swung him around, "Oh, Mama's so proud you! I love you much!"

He pointed to the sky, "Da..DA!"

Stopping cold, tears sprang to her eyes as she kissed his cheeks. "Yes baby…Daddy loves you so much." She assured him, while staring into the same cobalt blues she'd been losing herself in since she was sixteen

Hugging him to her chest, she met Lucas's heartbreaking gaze, one they shared every time Jamie said Nathan's name. It had been his first word. She and Lucas had pointed to pictures and told him who his Dad was since his first day on earth and then a month ago, Sports Center had randomly run a tribute to Nathan on the anniversary of his death.

Before Haley or Lucas could shut it off—the wounds far too fresh—Jamie had crawled to the television, placed his hand over his father's image and created a moment that would stay with Haley forever in more ways than just a mother's pride.

The next day, she'd taken him to Nathan. It had been too hard for her to visit before that. She had moved to be near him, but actually, seeing his headstone and being forced to confront he truly was never coming back was unimaginable.

But she owed it to him and to their son.

She spent an hour as Jamie slept in her arms, telling Nathan anything and everything about the beautiful son they'd created and all the joy he had brought her.

When Jamie finally woke, she pointed to the sky and promised him his daddy was always with him, always watching and always loving him.

After that day, she'd spot Jamie just staring up at the sky, sometimes even talking incoherently towards it and unlike at his birth she felt he was being comforted from his father and always would be every time his eyes found the heavens.

_Four and half years later…_

"Mamaaaaaaaaaaaa, pleaseeeeeeeeeeee?" Jamie begged, clad in his Spiderman pajamas, a pout firmly on his lips.

Ugh, she could never say not to that face, not even when Nathan wore it.

Setting down her class of wine on the end table, Haley patted her lap, earning a squeal from her son as he ran and leapt onto her lap, throwing his arms around her. "Best mama!"

Giggling, she pulled him back so they could share their signature Eskimo kiss. Afterwards, she situated him so his back was against her chest, his blonde head resting on her shoulder.

"Just thirty more minutes," She reminded him, but he was too enthralled in the glow of the television to answer her anymore.

Kissing the top of his head, she inhaled his scent. There was no greater joy than having him in her life. He was her entire world and without him there wasn't a doubt in her mind, she wouldn't have survived Nathan's passing.

He gave her hope and a reason to wake up every morning. His chubby cheeks and keen wit always had her beaming.

Nevertheless, darkness always loomed nearby. She fought so hard to keep it a bay, but it would creep in when her son would catch her crying or when she noticed him watching his friends with their fathers.

Lucas was a father figure to Jamie and Jamie loved him with his whole heart, but he wasn't Nathan and even at four years old, she knew her son felt that same void she did.

His steady breathing cued her to his slumber and slowly she turned him around so she could carry him up to his room.

Once tucked in, she sat down beside him and ran her fingers soothingly across his face.

A soft smile graced his lips and she bent down to kiss his cheek.

Surveying his room, she noticed a few random toys out and went to pick them up. Putting them away in a chest, a small light caught her eye coming from his closet.

Confused she followed it to the back off the closet, discovering it was his camping lamp, that Lucas had bought him for Christmas. On all fours, now, to grab it, she knocked over the sleeping bag it was shining towards and heart caught in her throat.

In front of her was a shrine to Nathan constructed by their son. His high school MVP trophy sat as the backdrop. It had been Nathan's most sacred one, even beating out his NBA accolades. She'd given it to Lucas to keep and apparently, Lucas had given it back, just not to her.

There were photos all over that he must have gotten out of various photo albums. Some were solo shots of Nathan making baskets, but most were of just her and Nathan celebrating after various games. Lucas was in a few, even Uncle Skills, but one large picture in the center is what truly caught her eye.

Gingerly she lifted it and shone the light on it completely. On white construction paper, Jamie had himself and Nathan in front of hoop with basketballs in their hands. She was on the side with blue pom poms as hands and they all were so happy.

A few tears slipped down her cheeks and she tasted the salt in her bittersweet smile.

He had tons of pictures of Nathan in his uniform with her cheering him on and her baby boy wanted so badly to be apart of that happiness that he made his own picture.

"MAMA!"

Jumping she put the picture back and concealed his secret with the sleeping bag once again. This was his own way to feel close to his father and she wasn't going to disturb it.

"Yes, baby?" She popped out of the closet to see her son's head titled, gazing back at her curiously.

"I thought you were a monster, mama." He finally said, relief in his voice, his arms out ready for a hug that he knew would always come.

In a flash, she was on his bed hugging him tightly before surprising him with a round of tickles.

His laughter filled the room and she lifted his shirt up and blew on his belly inciting another round of giggles, "Mama…you're….silly" He got out in between laughs.

Ceasing her attack, Haley pulled the covers back over him, and blew a kiss against his cheek, another giggle escaping him. "I'm always going to be silly with you."

"Was Daddy silly, Mama?" He quietly asked when she went to turn on his nightlight.

Flicking it on and turning off his beside lamp, she went back to him and caressed his cheek, "Where do you think Mama learned how to tickle so well?"

That seemed to satisfy him as his eyes drifted shut once more, his mother praying that he found his father in his dreams.

_Thirteen years later…_

"May we present our Valedictorian and future Duke Star forward, James Lucas Scott, "

The crowd cheered, as a devastatingly handsome, tall, blonde hair, blue eyed boy took the stage, winking at his mother, Uncle, and so many others that were there for him, including his incorrigible aunts, Brooke and Peyton.

His hands found the podium. "Thank you Principal Turner. Well, I can't believe we made it," He smirked at his class, who hooted and hollered for him, "I'm not really good at speeches, but here goes." He winked at his mom again and she beamed.

"John Steinbeck once wrote; 'It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure on the world and I believe that is how we should live our life however fleeting that life is."

He threw a quick glance up above and smiled before continuing.

"You see I never got to meet my father, in the literal sense, but because of my mom and my Uncle Luke, I got to know him in ways many others probably never take the time to. And as I stand here today, I feel him with me just as I do every time I step on a court. His guidance aided my success as much as my mother's has." He took a breath, "It's been eighteen years and I still see her suffering, yet she fights past it to share him with me, and that proves to me even more how much my father touched her life in his short time on earth."

Brooke and Lucas reached for Haley's hands, feeling her shake with pride and heartache.

"So to my class, no matter what you do in this world, no matter which road you take, live it completely, live it so future generations can feel your impact even after your gone. Leave the world a better place than when you left it, even if that simply means loving someone in a way no one else can. That, in itself, is a gift no one could ever duplicate and when you do pass on one day, your death will leave no pleasure at least for that one person and for that you will always be a success."

Short and sweet was all he needed to bring a teary eyed audience to their feet, and to end his classmates' official reign, as Tree Hill seniors.

…

Finally finding Jamie in the crowd of now hatless students, Haley lifted up in her heels and cupped his face, "Your father would be so proud, you know that?"

"I know mom."

Smiling, she raised her hands and fingered his perfectly gelled locks, to which he grimaced, "Oh quit, I'm just fixing it a little." She said with a light laugh at the end. It truly amazed her how much mirror time her son demanded for his hair. Like father, like son.

"Now go have fun for your friends and please at least be back by dawn." She gave him a knowing look.

Playfully rolling his eyes, this time just like her, he gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Promise mom. Family style breakfast?"

She grinned, "You know it."

"Just don't let Aunt Brooke near the stove."

"Hey, I heard that." Brooke slapped his arm as she came up to them.

Bending down he gave her a kiss too, then smirked. "Sorry, but hey you are the best at hooking me up with the clothes."

"You better believe it. Now get drunk and deflower some lucky girl"

"BROOKE!" Haley whirled around, horrified.

Laughing and shaking his head, Jamie took off after his friends.

"Aw, look at him go Tutor mom. You did such a good job." Brooke changed the subject, but it was still sincere.

"I second that." Peyton grinned, pulling Haley into a hug.

"Thanks and I'm so glad you two are here."

They both grinned, "We wouldn't miss it for the world". Peyton spoke for them.

Brooke slung her arm around Haley, "Karen's cooking a feast, I hear. You wanna ride with us?"

"I think I'm going take a walk." She answered, a sadness taking hold of her words and they knew where that walk would lead.

….

The light wind caught the flair of her royal blue dress and sent it swirling around her bare legs. Rain was coming, she could feel, smell, and even taste it in the air.

Their love had taught her that. So many times, they lost themselves in the rain becoming one.

God, she missed that—she missed him.

"Hey, it's me." Her gentle smile followed her gentle words. "Jamie was so amazing tonight, but I know you saw him, so I don't even have to tell you that."

Her fingers came out to brush across the marble of his headstone, "I dreamed about you again last night." A light drizzle began and she paused to look up before gazing at his etched name once more, "I still felt your arms around me when I woke up…and I feel them now." She wrapped her arms around herself and closed her eyes.

As her son had said, it had been eighteen years and _still_ she was mourning and always would be.

She'd given up writing music and began a career in teaching when Jamie was four. It wasn't for money, Nathan had left her plenty, it was for her sanity.

Because when Nathan died, inevitably her music did as well.

When he'd left her at the altar, she'd grasped at the illusion that if he had died, instead of having left her that somehow her pain wouldn't be as deep. That at least, in his death, she would know he had always loved her and never anyone else, but in hindsight, there was no greater misery than someone you love, leaving you with nothing else to hold on to but their heart, especially when they leave you far too soon.

That heart will haunt you day and night, the memories of their love wrapping themselves around you and refusing to ever let go. It's the sweetest torture one can ever experience. It shapes your entire life because just as you have their hearts, they have yours as well.

Many people re-marry after losing someone, but if they were truly in love before they will never love like that again for their heart will always remain with the one who first stole it and buried it with them.

Death immortalizes love, claims it for eternity, hardly ever does it relinquish its grasp to let us replace that love with another.

We can go through the motions, find companionship with someone, but that void will never be filled until we close our eyes for the final time and surrender our souls to join our hearts and our _love_ in another realm, one in which time and pain does not exist.

"I love you." She whispered to the heavens, as the clouds finally relented under the weight of unshed water and spilled down onto the earth.

Starting to laugh with her face still turned upward, she slowly brought her hands up to slick her hair back, in a move that reminded her of the day he asked her to be his wife, and she didn't doubt he was smirking down at her, dreaming, as she was, of the day they'd meet again.

...

Jolting up, Haley's heart was racing as she caught sight of the time. It was a little after six am and she was back in her New York bedroom, but that wasn't enough to relieve her nerves.

Throwing off her covers, her eyes, and hands fell to her stomach and she let out a shaky breath at still being as big as a house.

But wait…isn't this how her dream had started? What if she was in denial? What if it wasn't a dream? What if it was a warning?

…

Nathan groaned at the pounding on his door. Jesus, it was way too early, but there he was wearing only a black mesh pair of basketball shorts, opening his front door.

"Oh, thank god!" Haley rushed out as she flew into her arms, her stomach crashing against his before her arms could even wrap around him.

She hadn't changed from the night before or even bothered with shoes, she simply couldn't wait a single second longer to see him.

"Um, Hales?" He chuckled while his hands rubbed her back and she held him as if her life depended on it and in way it did, little did he know.

Leaning her head back, she looked up at him with an expression he couldn't decipher, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

He definitely wasn't expecting that, "Hales, is everything all right?" His caring voice asked as he tucked a strand of her hair gently behind her ear, a gesture that never ceased to swell her heart.

"Everything perfect, absolutely perfect," She beamed, rising on her bare feet to give him a soft kiss on his shocked lips.

Letting her go, he sort of stumbled back to the stairs and took a seat on them, "Hales, this may sound harsh, but this back and forth is killing me."

Walking in between his legs, she took his face in her hands and gazed down at him. She saw a life without him and unlike that dream, she had a choice now; a choice to share all their child's moments as not only a mother and father, but as lovers, friends, and everything in between.

So, as she stared into a sea of anxious cobalt, she knew it was time to take that leap of faith, to overcome all the fears they both held. "Do you have any ice cream?"

He blinked as her hands left his face. "Huh?"

She bit her lip to keep from laughing as she backed away from him and began to walk up his stairs.

Baffled, Nathan remained on the stairs for a good thirty seconds before following her and finding her already in the freezer.

"Ugh, no cookies n' cream? That just won't do at all." She closed the freezer door, ignoring his bewildered expression from a few feet away and wandered to his pantry. "No, oreos either, you suck Nathan."

Ok, he was pissed, "Jesus Christ Haley, I'll go out right now and buy every fucking item known to man that has anything to do with cookies or cream just quit screwing with me!"

Rubbing her belly, she grinned towards it. "Can you believe your, Daddy? You would think me moving in would put him in a better mood."

Nathan was about to scream, until her words sunk in, but he didn't dare move or make a sound, he was still too stunned and afraid he hadn't heard her right.

"That is if the offer still stands?" She looked up and caught his stunned gaze; a tad apprehensive he may have changed his mind.

A heartbeat later, Nathan's lips were smashing against hers, his arms sweeping around her, holding her tightly to him.

"God, I love you," He mumbled against her lips before sliding his tongue into her waiting mouth.

They moved in sync, stealing each other's air, urging, seeking, devouring.

Minutes later, their breathing labored, and their noses pressed, they sucked in precious air.

"I need you, Nathan," Haley's voice strained with lust implored, craving relief that only he could give her, in her heart and in her bed.

He couldn't even begin to find the words to answer her, his own need and astonishment that she finally wanted a life with him again overwhelming him. Wordlessly, he took her hand and led her to his room—their room.

Standing her in front of a full length mirror, he took his place behind her and swiftly removed her thin white tank, exposing heavy breasts and her swollen stomach to his eager eyes.

Self consciously, she crossed her arms over her chest, his intense gaze at her reflection making her slightly unsure of her figure.

"Don't," he commanded, gently pulling her arms away from her before sliding his arms around her, caressing every inch of skin that protected their child. Her head fell back to his shoulder as his hands moved to her breasts, palming each full luscious mound.

Bending down he nipped at her ear, "You're so beautiful, Baby," He huskily soothed and she felt the evidence boring into her back.

Reaching behind her she grabbed his head and forced his lips to hers in a hungry kiss that sent his fingers straight to her tender nipples, twisting and teasing till she was forced to tear her mouth from his, her mewls and moans demanding to be heard.

Moving her hair across one shoulder, he placed an open mouthed kiss on the base of her neck and repeated the action slowly down her spine, his hands moving with him, until he knelt on his knees and they found her hips.

Her mind was in such a haze she didn't even realize he'd gotten her simple cotton drawstring shorts off until her lids gave way and caught sight of her completely nude form before her, but unlike before she didn't feel the need to hide herself. The way his tongue was exquisitely tracing his number that forever marked her as his and his hands moving to cradle her stomach as if it was the most precious thing he'd ever touched, filled her with unbelievable confidence in her beauty and the desire he felt for only her.

Turning around, she held his face once again, "I trust you, more now than ever."

Startled by her words, it took him a second to recover. He didn't know where that came from, but right now, he didn't care. He'd promised her if it took a life time he'd earn that trust back and for her to say it now before the birth of their son was almost too much for him to bear.

Her beauty, grace, and compassion made his world stand still. Standing, he pulled her in for a searing kiss, pouring every emotion he felt inside her, needing her to understand it all and even without words he knew she did. That had always been their way. He told her once, that he envied Lucas, envied the way he could express himself because Haley deserved someone that could ply her with every word that could attempt to do her justice.

She'd laughed and kissed him, telling him that every time he touched her, kissed her, and simply looked at her, she felt more love than any man could ever put into words.

And five years later, that hadn't changed.

Growing heated and frenzied, Haley's tiny hand worked its way inside his shorts and grabbed him roughly.

Jerking into her hand, he groaned as she slowly started pumping him.

His hands squeezed her ass tightly, pulling her closer to him and she gasped as his lips ripped from hers and found her neck, sucking hard, wanting more than the tattoo to mark her as his.

Squirming, she yanked his shorts down his hips and he twirled her around as he kicked them away.

Again, she was facing the mirror, though now her body was flush and the slickness of anticipation had spread to the inside of her thighs.

"God, your tits, Hales," He growled into her ear as he found them again and kneaded them whole.

She rocked back against him and he grinded into her.

His right hand traced down the side of her body, past the curve of her hip and he nearly exploded all over her back when he grazed his fingers over her soft swollen folds that were utterly drenched with want.

"Damn baby." He moaned, slipping two fingers inside her while his other hand continued to tease and pluck at her nipple.

Arching her back, she grabbed his arm, digging her nails into him, as his fingers slipped in and completely out of her, making sure to hit her bundle of nerves each time.

Her head fell back and she rocked her hips, his throaty commands to 'come' unraveling her insides, her soft pants transforming into an endless escalating moan as her body shook from the force of her explosion.

Going lax, he helped her down to her knees, "You need a break?" He asked, even though he was sliding himself up and down her back, thinking he would die if he weren't inside her in the next thirty seconds.

She laughed, a throaty sexy laugh as she went forward on all fours and locked lust filled eyes with him in the mirror. "Oh we haven't even gotten started."

For once, she was praising her out of control hormones. Not even when she was a horny teenager did she have this much constant urge. She didn't think they would be leaving his house for days at this point.

"Sounds like a plan to me," He smirked, leaning over her to place a kiss on her shoulder blade, their eyes still locked. They'd go slow and sensual later. He'd worship every inch of her over and over, but right now was all about taking the edge off.

"Fuck," He growled when he cast his gaze away from hers to the sight of her ass raised and her back arched ready for him. Lining himself up, he teased her hot, wet opening for a just a few strokes then sunk into her, the sensation taking their breaths away.

After a moment, he gripped her hips harder and with smooth strokes began pounding into her, her hips bucking back in time with him, demanding more and getting more.

It didn't take long for the storm inside them to grow, with each thrust, each moan of pleasure, the electricity built.

"Yes, yes, yesssssss" Haley screamed, her fingers digging into the carpet as a lightening of ecstasy shot through her, sending wave after wave of thunder reverberating through her entire body

Her cries of pleasure sent that same bolt to ignite his own release and his body shuddered as he shot everything he had deep inside her.

Spent, he collapsed onto her back, but popped back up instantly when he remembered it wasn't just the two of them. "Are you ok? Do you feel ok, is the baby ok? Do you think he knows?"

Catching her breath she moved forward to allow him to slide out of her and she turned around and knelt before him with a brilliant smile, "That was amazing and we're allowed to have sex, especially hot sex like that. It's even recommended, "She winked, before kissing his lips softly.

He ran his hands through her hair, holding her close, "Well, then, looks like I'll be knocking you up again. Not that we ever needed you pregnant to have hot sex."

"No we didn't," she agreed and they shared a tender kiss, then another and another…

…

They spent the entire day reuniting their bodies and their hearts. In between lovemaking, they talked about anything and everything, including his father's confession and her terrifying nightmare that had helped open her eyes.

There were no more secrets and no more denials. The past would always be a part of them, the good, and the bad, but it was no longer casting a shadow on their present or their future…_as a family_.

* * *

Cath


	20. This Is Home

**Author's Note:** Hey guys, sorry for the wait. I hope I made up for it in this chapter. We have horny Haley, hormonal Haley, and a pretty blissful ending. There are only 4 or 5 chapters to go, so we're coming up to the end. :)

Thank you all for your reviews and I can't wait to see what you think of this. I also started another story called **_"Reckless Abandonment" _**It's unlike what I've written so far and will be very sexual. So check it out if you have time. :)

A big thanks to **Lori** for being a fabulous beta. Love ya, girl!

**Chapter Twenty "This Is Home"**

_Belief over misery  
I've seen the enemy  
And I won't go back  
Back to how it was  
And I got my heart set on what happens next  
I got my eyesa wide it's not over yet  
We are miracles and we're not alone_

And now after all my searching  
After all my questions  
I'm gonna call it home  
I've got a brand new mindset  
I can finally see the sunset  
I'm gonna call it home

I've come too far  
And I won't go back  
Yeah, this is home

_**Switchfoot**_

"You're doing amazing Michael." Haley beamed looking over the shoulder of one of the kid's at the center. They had officially opened the doors the week before and everything was going better than they had expected. Kids from all over signed up for daily classes or simply just to have a place to spend time instead of the streets, it was a place they found comfort and acceptance and that meant to the world to all the volunteers involved.

Michael, eleven years old, gave her a toothy grin, "Thanks, Miss J. I'm kicking this math worksheet's ass."

She gave him a pointed look and he blushed, "Sorry, I mean 'butt'."

"Or gluteus maximus," She winked, "I can deal with that too."

"Glu…what?"

Nathan walked into the room and away from his perch in the doorway, "It means butt, Mike. As in Miss James here has a serious gluteus maximus." He smirked while Michael laughed and Haley slapped his chest.

"Not in front of the kids, Nathan." She sternly spoke yet amusement sparkled in her eyes.

He pulled her back against his chest and his hands came around to rub her belly, "Sorry babe." Though, she knew he was anything but sorry.

Michael looked up from his worksheet and back at them, "Is he really your baby daddy, Miss J?"

Haley's mouth dropped open, "Michael, I know for a fact that question isn't on your worksheet."

He shrugged, "It's cool if he is, you know?"

"Thanks Mike and yes I am." Nathan proudly informed him.

Staring at Nathan hard, the boy spoke very seriously, "You better treat her right because all us boys will step up if need be."

Laughing, Haley took him by the chin softly, "I'll keep that in mind. Now get back to work and I'll check on you in a bit."

Entangling her fingers with Nathan's, she led him into her office, shutting the door behind them.

"What am I ever going to do with you?" She faced him, her arms encircling his neck, her hard bump pressing against him.

"Right now, I'm hoping you let me lay you on top of that desk again?" His eyebrows wagged suggestively.

"Hmm, I already let you this morning, but that was before any kids were here."

His nose nuzzled against hers, "And it was fucking amazing."

"You better clean up that mouth before our kid starts repeating you." She pecked his lips.

He cast his gaze downward, "Have I told you how beautiful you look today?" She was wearing a cobalt blue halter summer dress with an empire waist, the material flowing elegantly over her rounded stomach and ended just above her knees. She was flawless.

She rolled her eyes, "I look like a whale."

Without warning, his mouth slanted over hers, his tongue demanding entrance, which she readily gave. She moaned as the sensations swirling in her and whimpered when he pulled away, pressing his forehead against hers, "Does that help you see how beautiful I think you look?"

"It lets me see how much you love me."

"That too, but Jesus, Hales you're a freakin' knock out."

"When you say things like that I never want this pregnancy to end."

His eyes lit up, "Oh, Baby, no worries there. I plan on knocking you up repeatedly.

She laughed, then blushed and let him kiss her again, allowing herself to feel just as he described her – beautiful.

_A week later…_

"God, it's so hot," Haley complained as she waddled into her living room, groaning at the sight of the open blinds.

Lucas glanced up from the Xbox and blanched, "Christ, Hales, put some clothes on.'

Nathan looked up at that and smirked at the sight before him, there was Haley in a white sports bra with her breasts spilling out and pale blue cotton boy shorts, neither of the items covering even an inch of her large swollen bump or "mountain" as she had started to call it. _'Damn, she was gorgeous'_.

After pulling her hair up in a clip, giving Nathan a nice profile shot, she finally turned fiery eyes to her best friend, "Oh am I in your house, Luke?" She glanced around for dramatic effect, "hmm, it seems not and by the way if you want to bitch about me looking this way, blame your sperm touting brother."

Both boys winced. Haley had been absolutely miserable the last week with the record setting heat wave and her growing discomfort. Her personality had done a complete 180, but Nathan had read all the books and knew this was completely normal, he just hated seeing her so uncomfortable. But he did get a kick out of her putting Lucas in his place from time to time, although he was on the receiving end plenty too.

"Sorry, Hales." Lucas mumbled, avoiding all eye contact.

"Whatever." She blew out easing down into a plush cream arm chair that she and Nathan had picked out together the week before. Slowly, but surely his home was becoming their home right down to the new Mahogany California King with chocolate and ice blue bedding. Nathan claimed the size would be perfect for when their son demanded his spot between them and Haley had melted at the mere thought.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed her smiling at him now and he threw her a sexy wink hoping he'd stay in her good graces for awhile.

But as was the usual, cock blockers number, three and four, came flying through the door, "Aw, Halessssssss" Brooke sympathized, rushing to her friends side with a large banana smoothie in hand, "here you go sweetness."

Haley beamed taking the drink, "Y'all are too good to me."

"Well, someone has to be," Brooke shot the brothers a withering look.

Sitting beside Luke, Peyton stretched out her legs on the coffee table, "I think you guys are doing great."

"Blah, blah" Brooke dismissed them, and then turned back to Haley, "Hales how about you throw on something cool and fabulous because we're taking you to the spa."

Haley's grinned, "Really? All of us?" She looked hopefully to Peyton who she knew usually hated all that overpriced primping.

"Really," Peyton assured, "You got me for the whole day, Mama."

Tears sprang to Haley's eyes, "I love you two, so much."

Peyton laughed, "We love you too, Babe."

Lucas glanced at Haley, a pout forming. "How come I don't get any love?"

"Because you're an ass." She clipped out, before taking a big slurp of her drink, switching back to happy mode with one of her cravings being satisfied. Oblivious to Brooke still cackling at her comment.

Clicking off the game, much to Lucas's dismay, Nathan shot Haley a worried look, "Hales, just don't overdo it and have your cell with you at all times, please?"

Rolling her eyes, Brooke walked over and plopped down into Lucas's lap, her legs stretching out over Peyton, "Jeez Nate, it's a spa; the point is to relax not run a marathon."

He stood ignoring her, and went to Haley holding out his hands, "Ready?"

Placing her drink on a side table, she placed her hands in his, groaning as he then pulled her up and out of the chair, "Thanks, babe." She stood on her toes and kissed his cheek. This had become a daily routine for them, something they both secretly loved.

Before she could get away to get ready, Nathan cupped her cheeks, "I'm going to miss you…_both_." He eyes fell to her belly at the last word, the sweetest smile spreading across his face.

She pressed her lips softly to his, "I love you, and you better be naked and ready when I get home."

Chuckling softly, his hands left her cheeks and slid down her arms, then came to a stop caressing her stomach. "Baby, I'm always ready. How about I take you in the bedroom right now and show you?" His smirk sent sparks of lust crackling through her body, followed by a smoldering kiss intensifying the heat.

Haley moaned into his mouth, freefalling into a world that only including the two of them.

Unfortunately, for them, when his hands found his girl's ass, Brooke had hit her limit, "Lego my preggo, Scott."

"Yeah and it's getting gross." Luke grimaced.

Haley peered around Nathan and shot Luke a glare, "You better be gone when I get back too."

"And again…" She turned back to Nathan, "you better be naked" This time she said it loud enough for all to hear, hoping Lucas got a great mental image.

Groaning in anticipation, Nathan placed a couple sweet kisses on her lips, a naughty glint still in his eye, "Fuck you later?"

"Damn straight," She agreed, stroking him discreetly to seal the dirty promise before torturously leaving him to change, a smirk rivaling his own gracing her usually angelic face. _'A lady in the streets, a freak in the sheets'_ was one of his favorite lines about her and while she never stopped blushing when he said it, he knew she got off on it too, just like him.

…

"So you actually planned to have Brooke and Peyton take Haley to the spa?" Lucas asked confused as group of ten men began filing into the living room, arms filled with a hundred shades of purple flowers. Orchids, roses, magnolias, hydrangeas, daises, you name it, if it was purple it was there. The only other color Nathan had allowed were flawless Casablanca lilies, though they were mixed with lavender.

Nathan kept his attention on the continuous parade of bouquets, making sure they didn't screw anything up, "Yeah and it was hell convincing your girlfriend without telling her why. She all but made me sign in blood it was good surprise for Haley. I didn't expect them that soon, though, so we need to hurry."

Lucas chuckled, "Well, that's Brooke and you could have at least let me in on it."

Rolling his eyes, Nathan went to open a closet door to remove a large box on the highest shelf. Once it was out, he placed it on the couch. "Quit bitching and help me with these candles."

Lucas peeked inside the box at the at least fifty white pillar candles just waiting to create some atmosphere.

"What the hell is that?" Nathan's deep voice shattered through the beauty that was starting to engulf them.

One of the guys looked around from the bouquet he was holding, "Um, roses."

"They look pink. She hates pink."

Lucas squinted at the flowers, "They could be either, Nate. Just a real pale purple I guess."

"They're pink, Luke. Someone as gay as you should know the difference. Get them out of here." He dismissed the delivery guy and turned back to the intercom that had just buzzed, "Yeah?" He grunted out into the speaker.

"We're here with the table." A man's voice answered and a huge grin spread across Nathan's face.

"Table?" Lucas questioned, starting to grab a few candles out of the box.

Nathan followed suit, taking twice as many out as Luke had. Somehow, he made even the simplest tasks a competition. "Just wait till you see this shit. Haley's gonna freak."

Lining up candles on the long bar that separated them from the kitchen, Lucas did what he couldn't do a few weeks back when he helped Nathan set up the nursery—face reality. "Listen Nate, I'm going to put two and two together and guess you're planning on asking Hales something tonight."

Glancing up from mantel, where he was now situating some orchids to make room for his own candles, Nathan tilted his head towards the kitchen away from the men still making their way in and out.

Lucas took the command and went straight for the fridge to grab a couple beers, missing Nathan greeting and instructing a couple guys to head out on the large balcony to set up the table.

A few sips later, Lucas handed his brother the unopened beer.

"Thanks, man,"

Nodding, Lucas hopped up on the granite countertop, "So, I'm guessing this is a yes to my guess?"

"You always were the smart one."

"I'm not so sure that's the best idea." Lucas hedged, avoiding eye contact.

Taking a long drink of his beer first, Nathan sat it back down on the counter, "What the hell is that supposed to mean? I thought you were all for me and Haley being together."

"Together, yes and even marriage yes, but moving in with you was a big enough step for Haley. You might just want to hold off."

Nathan grew defensive, "Or maybe that's what you really want?"

"What?"

"Do you trust me with her, Luke? Do you trust that I won't hurt again?"

Lucas closed his eyes, then opened them, "No…I don't."

Nathan shook his head in dismay, "Nice, Luke, real nice. You're my fucking brother."

"And you weren't there Nathan" Lucas' voice rose. "You didn't see the pain, the anguish. Have you noticed that scar on her palm? I told you this once, but I don't think it sunk in. That ring you gave her back then, the ring that was suppose to mean forever, I had to dig out of her hand, blood was everywhere. So you ask me if I trust you. Get that image out of my head, and then we'll talk."

Grabbing the counter for support as if he'd been punched, Nathan fought off the sick feeling in gut. "Get out."

Lucas knew he'd crossed the line, but his blood was boiling as he took off for the door and away from his brother. Once the hot air hit his face, it was his turn to feel sick. He didn't know why he was so angry or why he'd gone off like that, but for some reason all he could see was Haley in her blood stained dress, the dress it took him three days to get her out of.

Honestly, he knew why Nathan had left and he knew Nathan loved Haley more than anything in the world and more than anyone else ever could, even him.

Maybe that was part of him too. He'd acted ok with their relationship in high school and for the most part his was, but he was also jealous. Jealous that Nathan would know parts of Haley he never would. He didn't want anything romantic with Haley, but what she had with Nathan went beyond romance, beyond friendship. Their connection was indescribable and for a guy that had always been Haley's first to run to since she was eight years old, that was hard to except.

He wanted her to be happy, though, wanted the same for his brother, but it seemed even in their 20's Lucas still found himself being that jealous teenage boy, the boy that would do anything to protect her.

Guilt didn't even begin to describe what he felt when Nathan had left her. Somehow Lucas thought he should have known, should have done something, anything. But he hadn't and he watched his best friend's world collapse, his collapsing with her.

Taking a deep breath, he looked back at Nathan's place, wondering if he should apologize. Ultimately, he decided against it, not sure it would even sound genuine. He knew there was no crystal ball to tell him Haley would never be hurt again, but even the risk chilled him to the bone. It was easier to push it away when Haley and Nathan were simply back together, but the idea of marriage, well that baggage that brought along with it was too much for him to bear, at least right now.

After all, Haley was his family long before his own brother.

…

Relaxed and pampered, Haley adjusted her new pale green strapless satin baby doll dress that barely landed at mid-thigh, before she got ready to open the door. Brooke had forced her to buy it after the spa, along with some gold strappy heels that were coming off as soon as Nathan got a good look. All she wanted to wear or felt comfortable in lately were flip flops. And if she kept these heels on any longer, her feet would swell around them making it impossible to get off.

Taking a compact out of her purse, she checked her reflection satisfied her sun kissed make up with nude glossy lips was still all in place. She actually did feel really good and thought she looked good as well. Her hair was straightened, but swept into a low side ponytail, leaving one side of her neck bare.

Satisfied, she closed her compact and let herself in. Climbing the stairs, she thought she heard soft music coming greeting her and when she entered the living room it definitely greeted her as well as botanical's worth of purple flowers and the soft glow of a at least a hundred candles around them.

Before she could even utter a word, Nathan walked out in a stunning black suit, silver shirt beneath and no tie. "Wow." He breathed out, staring at her in awe.

Her eyes widened, "You're saying wow?" She laughed, "Nathan…this is incredible."

He smiled and came towards her, taking her right hand in his, kissing it softly, "And you look incredible."

In the dim light, he couldn't see it, but she knew she was blushing.

"What's all this for?" She scanned the room again, as he slowly led her towards the balcony.

"For you." He simply said, with a wink.

As he turned the knob to the balcony, she bent over to smell a nearby bouquet, her eyes closing savoring the scent of lavender and lilies.

When she opened her eyes, she had been pulled all the way outside and caught site of just how far Nathan had gone. "Is that…"

"Our picnic table from Tree Hill? Yes it is." He smirked, very pleased with the brilliant smile that lit up her face.

Her hand left his to trace alone the counters of the table, the only thing on top of it were a simple bundle of purple daisies tied with a satin ribbon. She picked them up and played with the petals, "These are just like the ones where you proposed to me."

He took them from her and laid them back on the table, "That's because they are."

Her smile grew, "How did you do all this?"

Helping her sit down, he then went to the other side of the table and took both her hands in his, "With the right motivation, anything is possible."

That's when she couldn't hold her tears and a few slipped down her cheeks, "It's not nice to make a pregnant woman cry." She giggled, wanting to wipe them away, but he wouldn't let go.

Opening her left hand, he released her right, using his now free hand to trace along the small scar in the center of her palm. "How long did it take to heal?"

She smiled softly, "About five years."

He met her eyes, "I don't deserve you, Hales." His tone was sad, his voice heavy.

"Nathan, you hurt me in the past, but you still loved me more than anyone back then too. I understand why you left, even if I still don't agree with it, but we can't let that hold us back anymore. Haven't we wasted enough time?"

Now, he smiled. "That's why I did this, but then…"

"Then what?" She softly asked, not understanding what could have changed.

He wanted to tell her about Lucas yet he was afraid if he did, she might start seeing Lucas' side of things. "It's nothing; I guess I was just sitting here, wondering how you could have ever given me a second chance."

Getting up, albeit slowly, she came around to him and he turned to her his legs straddling the bench as he gazed up.

She cradled her stomach, "He's our second chance, Nathan. I want to say even without him I would have come around, but I don't think so. I think I would have stayed stubborn and gone on to live a life I wasn't meant to. I believe that's why he was sent to us, to help show us what matters most, and help us find our way. Everything feels right now."

His hands came up to rub over her stomach, his sight focused intently on it, "Yeah, it does." He whispered, and then his eyes found hers once more.

Standing up he pushed her back a bit, to give himself room, and to her shock got down on one knee. Again, he took her left hand, this time to focus on the future, "Hales, there are no words for how much I love you. I guess that's why I did all this, hoping it could maybe show you just a little of what I feel for you."

He took the loose ring out of his pocket with his free hand, a gasp falling from her lips. It was the same ring he'd given her years ago, only the center stone had gone from a single carat to at least

4. "I may have made a mistake using the same ring, but when I asked you then I knew you were my future and even after five years apart that's never changed. Everyday I saw you with this ring. I guess it's all I can see you with now."

Haley reached out and caressed his cheek tears spilling down her cheeks, "Stop," She sweetly begged, "Give me a minute, ok?"

He didn't have time to argue because she was gone a second later.

Fear swept over, but she was back a minute later, a shy smile on her face as she approached him. "Help me." She struggled to get on her knees in front of him and he reached out to guide her.

This time to took his left hand and that's when he saw it, a platinum wedding band.

She help it up and it reflected in the moon light, "I tried to throw this away a million times, but something always held me back. Even when I hated you, my subconscious was still dreaming of the life we should have been living and I saw you with this ring too."

"Haley…"

She shook her head to stop him, "Let me get this out before I completely lose it," She laughed softly and so did he. "I still see your guilt, every day Nathan. I see you questioning if I'm ever going to trust you the way I did back then." She slid the ring on his finger, "There may not be a priest, but I'm vowing this to you now, I trust you with my life, my heart, and our son, always, and that's exactly why this is the second easiest decision of my life."

"What was the first?" He heard himself whisper, overwhelmed by her words.

"Saying yes the first time," She smiled, running her fingers down his jaw line, mesmerized by her love for him.

He grabbed her face and kissed her deeply, not being able to stand it a second longer,

"God, I love you Hales." He breathlessly proclaimed when they broke apart, their foreheads pressed together, tears in both their eyes.

"I love you too, Nathan."

Grinning, he took back her hand and slid her ring back where it had always belonged and kissed her again.

Unfortunately, someone else wanted some attention and Haley tore her face away from his, a flash of discomfort coming across her features.

"Baby, you ok?"

She giggled and rubbed her stomach, trying to calm her little boy down, "I'm fine. I think our son was feeling a bit left out."

Chuckling, Nathan joined her in feeling their son's movements, but his eyes never left her, watching the pure joy written all over her beautiful face as she spoke to her belly playfully demanding their child to calm down.

His heart felt as if it would explode. He'd never known real love until her, never known the meaning of family. She gave him everything and tonight she actually made him feel worthy for the first time.

For some unknown reason he was the one that made her smile, that gave her the son she was currently beaming over and that made her heart race. He didn't know why, but he knew now, because of her, that he was the only one that could it.

He still wasn't sure if he'd ever fully forgive himself, but the fact she forgave him was all he needed, all he desired. His own brother hadn't even gotten to that point and may never, yet staring at Haley now, it only made him respect his brother for protecting her and showed him that what he had with Haley transcended everything.

She loved her family and he loved his brother, but what they shared was something no one else could ever dictate. What they were building, what they would build for the rest of their lives was their own family.

At the end of the day that would always be their priority.

Cath


	21. You Could Be Happy

**Author's Note:** Hey guys, I made it back from the storm and finally have power. So I have two updates for you, one for this story and one for LTB. This chapter mainly focuses on LH, but we get some NH at the beginning and end that I think will make you all very happy. There's some BL in the middle too. At the very end you'll see I took something from episode 602 because it was such freakin' love that I had to add it. Remember with this story everything in Season one happened, expect they didn't elope the night Nathan proposed.

I hope you all enjoy this, it was really fun to write because LH mean the world to me. NHL own my heart and I love writing their relationships with each other.

A big thanks to all the reviews. Baby Scott will be making his appearence very soon, but not before our poor very pregnant Hales suffers a bit longer in that hot NY heat. ;) Making everyone else suffer with her. Haha.

Thank you to Ha, for doing an amazing job beta-ing and to Susan for getting me a title. Love ya!!

**Chapter Twenty One "You Could Be Happy"**

_You could be happy and I won't know  
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go_

_You could be happy, I hope you are  
You made me happier than I'd been by far_

_Do the things that you always wanted to  
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do_

_More than anything I want to see you go  
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world_

_**Snow Patrol**_

Nathan strolled into the kitchen, stopping cold and growing immediately hard when he caught sight of his gorgeous girl standing topless in front of the open freezer. "Hales, I'm pretty raw from last night and you're definitely not playing fair." He smirked, coming up behind her, encircling her very pregnant belly.

She leaned back for a second before turning and pushing him off her, "Ugh you're too hot."

"Um, I'm not the one standing in front of the fridge wearing only in a purple thong."

She grinned, "I didn't mean that kind of hot, but now that you mentioned it, I'd love to see you try it on." She leaned forward and kissed his jaw, once, twice…

He grabbed her cheeks between his palms, pulling her mouth to his eager one for a deep breathless kiss. "That…will never happen," He smiled against her lips catching his breath.

"So, are you really that raw, Baby?" Her sultry voice asked, circling one of her swollen nipples with her fingers for his viewing pleasure.

Groaning, his cock began to pulsate and he wrapped his arms around to carefully lift her onto the kitchen island. Brushing a loose strand that had fallen from her loose ponytail, he shook his head as he gazed at her. "How is it possible after going all night and three times again this morning you still can get me as horny as a teenager?"

She shoved his boxers down and hooked her legs around his ass. "I don't know and I don't care, just screw me."

Her demand was playful yet left no room for argument, not like he would have. His hot as hell pregnant wife and yes he was calling her that now, a piece of paper didn't make a damn bit of difference, was spread out in all of her glory, begging for his dick. It didn't get any better than this.

Her lips were attached to his neck, sucking, and licking, driving guttural moans from his throat.

"Nathan…" She began when she reached his earlobe, rolling her tongue around it before uttering the one command that would get him back to the task at hand, "Stick it in."

"God," He grunted, pushing her panties to the side and when his lips locked with hers, he shoved himself through her sweet, intoxicating folds.

Immediately, he started pumping hard and fast just the way he knew she wanted it. The night before they'd varied from achingly slow to hot and frenzied, from the bed to the wall, to the shower and even their bench that would now follow them wherever they went in life.

Titling her pelvis up, Haley clutched his neck as their tongues mimicked their lower halves, his hands massaging her stomach holding her in place.

The pressure was building in them both, forcing their mouths away from each other to gasp for air. His head dove into the nook of her neck, "I can't get enough of you." He murmured into her petal soft skin, opening his mouth to taste it.

"Me either…GOD!" She screamed the last word, her orgasm unstoppable.

He leaned back to watch the rapture flood her features, while he felt her muscles clench around him with each powerful thrust She began to whimper as her orgasm subsided and that sound combined with all the other sensations she was invoking in him had him unleashing a torrent of cum within her.

Jesus, he was shocked he had any left and yet she was milking him dry once more.

She ran a hand to wipe the beads of sweat from his forehead, "You definitely know how to satisfy that craving of mine." She grinned, slanting her mouth over his for a long lingering moment, both relishing in the afterglow.

The apartment door swung open, with Nathan still inside her and Lucas appeared, a pissed off expression set on his face. "I guess lunch is off." He averted his eyes, but spoke directly to Haley.

"Oh, Lucas, I'm so sorry," She pushed Nathan back, forcing him to leave her body, his home, both inwardly flinching at the emptiness they always felt when they parted.

"It's fine, Haley." Lucas turned to leave, but Haley stopped him.

"Luke, just give me five minutes." She crossed her arms over her chest and took off to get dressed.

Nathan pulled his boxers back up from his ankles and faced his brother, "You can wipe that disgusted look off your face. Your little Haley does have sex."

"That's not what I'm disgusted by. I saw the ring."

Opening the fridge, Nathan took out a bottle of water, "She always did have more faith in me than you."

Lucas stayed by the door, "She has faith in everyone and it usually backfires."

"Fuck, Luke. Can you give it a rest? Seriously, what has changed? Haley and I were always going to spend our lives together, ring or no ring."

"If that was true, you wouldn't have left her for five years."

Slamming down his open water bottle, causing some to splash out, Nathan went rigid, "Don't you fucking dare poison her against me. You want to be a dick to me, fine, but she's happy, whether you like it or not and if you ruin that for her, you and I will be right back where we started at the Rivercourt, nothing but hate between us."

Not catching the tension, Haley breezed back into the room, her ponytail perfect and her white empire waist tube dress floating over her curves. "All right, baby," She went to Nathan and pecked his lips, "Don't miss me too much."

He reached up and ran his thumb over her bottom lip, a loving smile directed at her. "Impossible."

She giggled, bubbling with bliss, "Right back at you."

Strolling to her other favorite boy, she looped her arm through his, "I want something greasy."

Bending down, he kissed her cheek, "Your wish is my command."

"Love you!" She tossed behind her to Nathan and he echoed it back before she disappeared through the door.

He stared at the closed door for a good five minutes, praying she still wore that same brilliant smile when she returned.

…

"So, how are you and Brooke?" Haley asked, as she took a huge bite of her chicken finger, dipped in country gravy.

"Good. Really good."

Haley tilted her head, appraising him. "You gonna marry her?"

He spit out the sip of tea he'd just drank, "What?"

"Well, let's see. After five years apart, you two fall back together like nothing had ever happened. She's spent almost every night with you and I know you're not the type to date anyone if it isn't going anywhere. Not to mention, this is Brooke, the girl you told me you'd never hurt again given the chance. So, I'm thinking it's only natural."

"We're not you and Nathan." Lucas tossed back, a hint of resentment attached.

She quirked an eyebrow, "What's that suppose to mean?"

"It means everyone holds you two to this standard, even me I guess. You're like this epic love story that people will write about a hundred years from now and probably make a damn movie that will put "The Notebook" to shame."

"Lucas, Nathan and I did spend five years apart. Not the best love story."

He smiled at that, in spite of his current feelings, "The greatest love stories always have obstacles, that's what makes them great."

Now Haley smiled, "Brooke said that same thing to me."

Luke reached for Haley's left hand, picking it up and eyeing her ring, "When were you going to mention this?"

She shrugged, "I guess it feels so natural, didn't see the need. It's like it's always been there."

"It should have, but it wasn't." He dropped her hand as if it was on fire.

Her face fell. "What's going on, Luke? You're running hot and cold on me. I thought you'd be happy. In fact, I was going to ask you to give me away since we're going to have to do this quick and I have no idea where my parents are."

Her words halted him, tearing at his heart. "I can't Haley…I could never give you away." He said softly, locking eyes with her.

"In general or to Nathan?"

She watched a string of emotions flash in his clear blue orbs.

In truth, Lucas knew it was in general, but it was harder with Nathan. Even if this was five years ago, giving her away to his brother would have killed him. She was his Haley, she had been his world since he was five years old. A part of him would always be a tad bitter that Nathan had taken that world from him. He had been supportive of them and still was to a point, but something about her saying "I do" would cement the change forever. She would be Nathan's and not just his anymore.

"I don't know Haley…I just don't want to ever see you hurt."

Getting up from her chair across from him, she went and sat beside him and intertwined their fingers on his thigh, "Luke, being without Nathan hurt me more than anything he ever did to me. It took me awhile to realize that, but I have. I love how protective you are over me. I have three brothers and they've never had a hold on my heart like you. You've been my family since you beat up Johnny Hicks for trying to look up my dress the first day we met."

Lucas squeezed her hand, "Does this mean I can beat up Nathan for what he was doing to you when I walked in?"

"Ha ha," She bumped his shoulder, "Anyway, what I was trying to say is that while I cherish that about you, you have to understand that sometimes you can be protecting me from the good too. Nathan made his mistakes and I haven't been an angel either."

"Haley…"

She stopped him, "No, you missed five years of my life too, by my own choice, but still. I was a bitch, treated guys like crap, not letting them get close, mostly because they weren't Nathan. I was miserable without him. I mean I functioned, had some good times, but at the end of the day I still ached for him and you too. I need you both in my life, always have, always will."

"You didn't need him before junior year."

"Yes I did. Maybe you didn't see it and I didn't know it was him I needed, but there was something missing in my life, something that would make me feel alive and that was Nathan."

She was right, he'd never seen her more alive than she was when she was with his brother. That was part of the problem and yet he loved her enough to want that happiness for her more than anything else in the world.

He sighed and pushed his plate further away from him, clearly not hungry. "You'll always be between me and him, you know that, Hales? Even when we get along, we still compete for you."

"I know and I'm a damn lucky girl," She grinned and he laughed. "But you're brothers and while you both still may compete over me, I want you to keep uniting over me too. Bringing the two of you together in high school is one of my greatest accomplishments. Don't take that away from me Luke and don't take that away from this baby because I know he has that same power."

Bringing his free hand to her stomach, he felt his nephew kick as if agreeing with his mother, "Cheap shot, James, bringing in the kid to help."

"Scott." She clarified and he looked up, "It's Scott now. Haley James-Scott, which means you're stuck with me forever."

"Forever started when we were five, Hales." He promised her, "But you're right, right about it all. It's not just you and me anymore, I need to accept that."

She placed her hand over his, resting on her belly, "We're all going to be happy, Luke. I can feel it."

"Yeah, we are," He affirmed, the littlest Scott kicking wildly.

"But Luke," Her words commanding him to meet her eyes, "Just like Nathan and I have this great love story, we do too, just without the really hot sex." She teased.

He kissed her temple, "Damn straight."

…

Brooke was painting her toenails in a Chanel blue when her doorbell rang. "Ugh, what the fuck?" She bitched, wobbling on her heels to answer. Swinging the door open, she was greeted by Luke on his knee.

"Marry me," He held out a black velvet box and she instantly started to laugh.

"Are you crazy?"

He stayed on the ground, "About you," he replied with a goofy grin.

"Luke, we've only been back together for…" She paused to think.

"Eight months, two weeks and five days," He finished for her, opening the box to show her a dazzling square cut emerald flanked in diamonds.

She gasped. It was stunning. It wasn't a typical engagement ring, something she'd always said she never wanted and her favorite color was green, despite all the red she wore, and only those that truly knew her realized that.

"This is out of nowhere." She finally stumbled out, her sight still transfixed on the sparkler.

He nodded, "I know, but I had a talk with Haley and it's not just me and her anymore."

Brooke tore her eyes from the ring to give him a questioning look.

Continuing he cradled her left hand, "I know that doesn't make sense, but when we were little it was me and her against the world and I guess it always felt safer to both of us if it stayed that way. When I moved here and got her back, I still felt it was just us, even when she loved Nathan and I loved you, but that was holding us back…holding me back. It doesn't just have to be us; it can be all of us. A family, Brooke, with best friends, aunts, uncles, kids running around, a real family, and I want you in that family…I want you to be my wife."

Tears slipped down her freshly washed cheeks, not an ounce of make-up on her. This wasn't what she pictured when she imagined this moment. She would have poured herself in a dress, her make-up would have been flawless, and she would have been dripping in jewels at the fanciest restaurant and yet standing before him in her juicy sweat pants and oversized t-shirt, her hair pulled back with a headband, expecting a day to herself, she suddenly couldn't picture it any other way.

He was a boy she had loved since she was sixteen, asking for her heart, for the rest of his life and that was all that mattered. "Yes." She squeaked out, too frightened to say it any louder for fear she'd wake herself up from this dream.

"Yes?" He repeated, wanting to make sure he heard her right.

"YES!" She finally screamed, not caring if it was a dream anymore because if it was she just prayed she would never wake up.

In one swift motion, he slid the ring on her finger and jumped up to twirl her around. "I love you, Pretty girl."

She grinned and their lips met. "I love you too, boyfriend…I mean fiancé. Eek, I love that word!"

He laughed and knew deep down somewhere Haley was laughing with him, knowing he was as happy as she was that very moment.

…

"Colby?" Haley questioned, her snug t-shirt pulled up under her breasts, a book of baby names in her hand, as Nathan rubbed vitamin E oil over her bump, something he did every night for her.

He grimaced, "Um no."

"Conner?"

"Hell no."

"David?"

Again, he grimaced, "Too close to Davis and I sure as hell won't have our kid with a name in any way associated with Brooke."

Haley chuckled and he felt her belly shake with her laughter making him smile, "Well, she and Peyton will be the co-God mothers."

"And that's enough influence." Nathan added.

"Oh that reminds me of something. Not the best topic, but we should make out a will."

He paled at that, "Why, nothing is going to happen to us."

"Nathan, you never know and I don't want to take the chance of your father or one of my crazy sisters fighting for custody."

Bowing his head, he nodded, "Definitely. So, who were you thinking?"

She didn't hesitate, "Lucas. He's your brother and has been my family more than my own."

Nathan felt an initial uneasiness, but in his heart, he knew Lucas was the right choice. "I'll call my lawyer in the morning."

She pushed up from the pillows supporting her back and kissed his cheek, "I love you."

"I love you too, Hales more than you know and you too," He bent down and spoke to their son.

An idea came to Nathan. "Lucas."

"Huh?" Haley laid back down, scanning the pages of the book.

"Lucas should be the middle name. If he never had the balls to face me on the Rivercourt, who knows when we would have gotten together and you're right he's the closest family we have."

Haley's eyes filled with tears. "I love that you didn't say "if" we would have gotten together and I love how thankful you are to Lucas for that."

"There is no if Haley. Maybe it would have taken ten or twenty years, maybe only a few months, but we would have found our way. Hell, I was crushing on you the first time I saw you in the hallway with Tim, even if I couldn't admit it."

"Well, you want to know a secret?"

"Always," He smirked.

She bit her bottom lip, a bit shy in confessing this, "At that first away game you asked me to come to, you were the Scott who I was cheering for. You were like a rock star out there."

His eyes went wide, "Seriously? That would kill Luke if you tell him that," He laughed.

She shoved at his chest, "Well, it's true and when you gave me the nod, I almost melted right there. I bet you don't even remember that."

He didn't miss a beat. "You sat with Keith, wearing that goofy hat. I scored 35 points that night, and each basket was like my own personal version of a Haley James pick up line."

Her eyes twinkled with delight as she beamed at his admission, "It worked."

His eyes dropped to her bump, then to hers, "I'd say."

They both dissolved into laughter and he climbed on top of her, claiming her mouth with his to turn that joy into a whole other realm of pleasure.

This was happiness, complete and utter happiness. There would surely be hard times ahead, naturally, but the good times, oh the good times would always trump all.

Cath


End file.
